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The TX
Gallente
Pulsar Combat Supplies
Alternative Realities
Posted - 2009.01.28 03:08:00 - [1]
 

I've just made the longest post on a forum that I've ever made before.

It's a boring bus story, but it's filled with phails and wins and pictures made in MSPaint.

Here. - Scroll down, you'll soon see the post.... lol.


Arvald
Caldari
Drunken Space Irish
Posted - 2009.01.28 03:10:00 - [2]
 

jesus man 0_o

Surfin's PlunderBunny
Minmatar
Sebiestor Tribe
Posted - 2009.01.28 03:28:00 - [3]
 

Needs more cowbell

Arvald
Caldari
Drunken Space Irish
Posted - 2009.01.28 03:32:00 - [4]
 

Edited by: Arvald on 28/01/2009 03:42:57
Originally by: Surfin's PlunderBunny
Needs more cowbell

STOP STALKING ME IN THREADS /me runs off crying

Atomos Darksun
D00M.
Northern Coalition.
Posted - 2009.01.28 03:41:00 - [5]
 

Originally by: Arvald
Originally by: Surfin's PlunderBunny
Needs more cowbell

STOP STOCKING ME IN THREADS /me runs off crying
haha...stocking

it's not stalking if we're all like one big family!

Except ALL of us are the black sheep uncles...

Arvald
Caldari
Drunken Space Irish
Posted - 2009.01.28 03:43:00 - [6]
 

Originally by: Atomos Darksun
Originally by: Arvald
Originally by: Surfin's PlunderBunny
Needs more cowbell

STOP STOCKING ME IN THREADS /me runs off crying
haha...stocking

it's not stalking if we're all like one big family!

Except ALL of us are the black sheep uncles...

oh shut it -_-

Rob Z0mbie
Caldari
Posted - 2009.01.28 05:07:00 - [7]
 

Edited by: Rob Z0mbie on 28/01/2009 05:06:55
thread fails to deliver on promised
Quote:
pictures made in MSPaint.


FAIL.

Super Whopper
I can Has Cheeseburger
Posted - 2009.01.28 06:34:00 - [8]
 

Edited by: Super Whopper on 28/01/2009 06:34:34
Once I wrote a post that was so long it spanned six pages (typed A4).

I am the god of tl;dr.

Culmen
Caldari
Culmenation
Posted - 2009.01.28 09:12:00 - [9]
 

For those of you too lazy to click/search

Originally by: The TX

Hokay,

A bit of bus knowledge you might need to know: Most buses have air-operated brakes. Air pressure applies the foot brake, and air pressure holds-OFF the parking/hand brake. Therefore, a loss of air pressure applies the hand brake so that you can't move. You wouldn't want to move, because you'd have no service/foot brake with which to stop again.


So, there's a busy junction between a main road, and a bigger main road. (See here). As you can hopefully see on that Google Map, traffic can normally go from either direction on either road to any other direction on the other road.

However, due to roadworks, the main road (heading left-right) was effectively a dual carraigeway. (See here.)
This of course, restricts the northbound traffic to a left-turn only, southbound to a left turn only, and eastbound can no longer turn south, westbound can no longer turn north. - So quite restriction compared to normal. There are diversions in place to get cars round this problem, and there are diversions to get buses back onto their bus routes and heading in the right direction. However, on teh route that I was doing, 6, I needed to head north anyways, and turn left - so no difference there.

Except, for no reason other than to make bus driver's driving more difficult, the roadworks actually took up more space, like THIS.
Which makes turning the corner more difficult. So here's me coming up the road.
I could plan to make the turn from the left lane, like this, but I'd never get round without seriously mounting the pavement and probably taking out some road signs.
I could also use the right hand lane, like this, but then I'd get people pushing up the inside of me and I wouldn't be able to get round the corner without pushing back in again and confusing some stupid motorists who have NO CLUE that a longer vehicle needs a wider turn to get round tight corners, not to mention the fact some of the drivers would also be so ignorant that they wouldn't have seen the great big road signs all over the place telling them it's a left turn only up ahead and there's roadworks etc etc etc.

So, as any driver of long vehicles will probably tell you, the best idea is to 'take the space that you need to complete the maneuvre', ie, hog both lanes together. Like this. Even when doing this though, people still push down the outside, because 1) They're impatient a-holes, 2) They're stupid a-holes who have NO CLUE that longer vehicles need blah blah blah.
Anyhoo - knowing about the roadworks ahead and the traffic light sequence, I know that it's only a matter of seconds until it's our turn for a green light, so I move to the middle of teh two lanes a few metres earlier than I would otherwise had done if the roadworks weren't there. (See here.) As you can see, there's a few other cars about, and one's already gone zipping up the outside of everyone, only to THEN realise there's roadworks, and travel ahead or a right turn available, and slapped his left indicated on.


Culmen
Caldari
Culmenation
Posted - 2009.01.28 09:13:00 - [10]
 

Originally by: The TX
Even though I know it's a matter of seconds before we're due to go, I've stilled reached the back of the car in front, so I've had to completely stop, and, force-of-habit, I applied the hand brake momentarily. Little did I realise, that due to a failure of the air compressor (for which there is no warning bell or light), air was ****ing out the bus like a drunk relieving himself in a shop doorway. I don't know when this happened, but what I do know is that the air pressure had dropped so much, that when I realeased the hand-brake, there was no longer enough pressure to hold the brake off and thus, move the bus. As the system tried to fill with air, the pressure dropped through the floor, thus setting of all kinds of alarms in the front of the bus. After a couple of seconds, I realised what was going on, and slapped my hazard lights on.

Now, several things were happening at once. Whilst trying fault-find in the bus, a long queue of angry drivers was forming behind me, with a few blasts of horns to show their discontent. After a handful of seconds, the dozy two or three drivers at the front of the queue behind me must have realised there was a problem, or that my HAZARD LIGHTS WERE ON, YOU MUPPETS. And soon, traffic was flowing again. But not just around the outside of me, cars were half-mounting the pavement and coming up the INSIDE of me as well.
Meanwhile, I was putting the bus into neutral, and revving it like as hard as I could to try to build pressure..... nothing. I switched off the engine, turned off the master switch to reset the bus, and tried it all again, all the while explaining to the passengers what I explained at the start of this post about needing air in a bus, and the fact that we didn't have much, which was a problem.

When my efforts had phailed to bear any air, I radio'd the control to ask for assistance, and they sent assistance out to meet me. At this point, I noticed a queue of PASSENGERS waiting just behind me, who had obviously realised that we weren't going to be going anywhere, and had decided they wanted to get off.
The problem here is that we were in teh middle of the road, which is not a safe or legal pickup/drop-off point at the best of times. To make matters worse, I had cars coming up the inside of me, half in the road, half on the pavement, and zipping right past the doors.


Culmen
Caldari
Culmenation
Posted - 2009.01.28 09:14:00 - [11]
 

Originally by: The TX
I can't exactly force my passengers to stay on the bus, and most people don't take the 'little laws' very seriously (ie, "I can't let you off at the lights, it's illegal", "oh, go on", "No, it's ILLEGAL"), so I have no doubt that my passengers were either clueless that it would be illegal to send them off the bus in it's current position, or thought that it was a trivial law that didn't really matter and that I would just be being silly if I tried to convince them to stay on the bus.
The only thing I know of that would make this 'safe' would be me to get off first, and stand in the road, on the oncoming-traffic-side of my passengers as they got off and walked to the pavement. So I did this. Stood in the road - stopped idiots pushing up the inside, and got my passengers off. Of course there were a couple of young women fannying about in the doorway of the bus who I had to hurry-up, and there was a token old lady on the bus who didn't want the struggle of getting off in the middle of the road, or a 'long' walk to the nearest bus stop to catch the next one.
(She got off a short time later, when I'd flagged down the next bus behind me and got him to pick her up).

The assistance I required turned up, and I was promised an engineer would follow to check out the bus. The supervisor then directed traffic around the outside of the bus, and despite being a BRIGHT YELLOW BLOB in the view of any driver (because of his massive high-vis jacket) people were still ignoring the fact that he was staring them in the face from 5 yards away and waving his arms for them to go around the OUTSIDE of the bus - there were still people trying to push up the inside of the bus.

So I stood at the back of teh bus on the inside, and also waved my arms to direct traffic around the outside of the bus. Idiots were still sitting in their cars gesturing to the left whilst creeping closer to me on the inside of the bus because they wanted to turn left at the junction.... bearing in mind that ALL traffic MUST turn left, if only they read the BLOODY GREAT ROAD SIGNS ALL OVER THE PLACE that tell them what the situation is ahead. That said, it was only a small percentage that were idiots, most were sensible. And, no joke, of the 5 or 6 cars that tried to push up the inside despite ALL THE SIGNS, and the two obvious people directing traffic the other way, 4 of them were women. 'Nuff said



Its still going....

Culmen
Caldari
Culmenation
Posted - 2009.01.28 09:15:00 - [12]
 

Originally by: The TX

At the same time that the engineer turned up, a highways agency van turned up, with one of those light-up yellow arrows on the back, and he parked up right up by the lights of the junction in the right hand lane, and slapped his 'keep left' arrow on. He came down and spoke to me and said....

Highways Agency Bloke: "Any idea how long this will be stuck here?"
Me: "You'd have to ask this bloke here, he's come to fix me up. [pointed to engineer] Whyzat? What's up?"
Highways Agency Bloke: "Well I've been send out here to..." - instead of explaining what he said, I'll show you.
He'd been sent out to do THIS. - To make it even MORE obvious to cars that they had a left-turn only at the junction!

So, not only was the bus causing a bit of a delay with traffic being directed around it, but it was also blocking the highways agency bloke from closing the right-hand lane! Two problems in one!

The engineer had parked behind me, on the side of the road, thus meaning I could relieve myself of the duty of redirecting stupid people who were trying to go up the inside of me.

The engineer told us that it was a problem with teh compressor, and that the only things that would move the bus is a portable compressor, which the company apparently won't fork out for, or a ruddy great tow truck.
The engineer also theorised that it might be possible to rev it really really really hard to get just enough air into it to ease it back a bit and get it out of the middle of the road.
But to do this, we'd need space to move - so I ran down the road to an approaching bus, and asked him to sit back quite a distance and hold the traffic back, whilst the supervisor held traffic back coming down from the main road - if the bus suddenly shot off in any direction, we'd need the space!



Oh god make it stop!

Culmen
Caldari
Culmenation
Posted - 2009.01.28 09:15:00 - [13]
 

Originally by: The TX

So, THIS was the resulting situation. Note how the Highways Agency Bloke had made a shortened version of what he was told to do, so that whilst the bus was in the middle of the road, traffic could still get round us, lol.

So with the bus shaking and making a hell of a lot of noise, we waited. It did sound like the bus would explode, but thankfully, that was just my imagination having fun with me.
Suddenly, the bus moved. It edged backwards slightly with a jolt. The revving and noise continued, but now we had the lovely melody of drivers behind the other bus tooting their horns, silly impatient sods.
The bus moved a bit more, more than last time before phailing again. After a couple of minutes, teh bus was 30 feet further back, and neatly tucked up against the side of the pavement.
Some clapping and 'thumbs-up' hand movements from me to the waiting bus and the drivers behind as a thank-you, and the traffic was flowing again with no more hold-ups.


So then the supervisor, the engineer and I were standing in teh doorway of the bus having a chat, and it seems as though there were several things that made this a completely dire place to break a bus.




Is it over yet?

Culmen
Caldari
Culmenation
Posted - 2009.01.28 09:16:00 - [14]
 

Originally by: The TX
1) In the middle of the road, it caused problems with traffic, getting passengers off, and stupid drivers coming up the inside.
2) The engineer was supposed to have gone home two hours before coming to help me, but offered to do extra work, but then promptly regretted it after he was sent out to me, lol.
3) The supervisor was also supposed to be going to Gatwick Airport when he finished work to pick someone up. He was now going to be late.
4) I forgot to mention, that the temperature at the time was barely above freezing and the was reasonably amounts of freezing rain the whole time - which made passengers, the engineer, the supervisor, and myself bloody cold and soaking wet. So the aerial shots you've been looking at should probably have all looked like this instead.

5), and this is the big one... the only way to move the bus, as mentioned before, is with a tow truck. Looking back at the situation with the roadworks, there is NO WAY that an umpteen-ton tow truck towing a 13m bus is going to get round THAT corner - especially now that the Highways Agency bloke had just taken out the option of a wide swing-round. The tow truck was already on it's way after the engineer phoned back to tell them that the bus was stuffed and would need a tow truck.
The only ideas we came up with, is that either, the tow truck could use it's umbillical air supply to pressure the bus up, and we turn the bus round in side road under it's own steam before the air runs out again, then tow it off in the other direction, or, get the local cops to hold back the westbound traffic on the main road (top right of those aerial shots I've been showing you), and tow it off in that direction, crossing over the to correct side of the road wherever possible.



NO IT ISN'T!!!!

Culmen
Caldari
Culmenation
Posted - 2009.01.28 09:17:00 - [15]
 

Edited by: Culmen on 28/01/2009 09:18:02
Originally by: The TX
-----------

Whilst this was all happening, it was getting nearer and nearer to the time when I was supposed to be handing over the bus to the next driver, so in the middle of all this, I'd been told to expect another driver to come and take my place there and for me to go back to the depot. (Another driver would be needed to sit with the bus if the engineer and supervisor had to be called away).

There was no method of transport for the replacement driver to get to me by, so the supervisor took me back to the depot, leaving the engineer with the bus, and when we got there, the supervisor then took the replacement driver back to the bus.

Because I got a lift directly back to the depot, and missed out 3/4 of a trip on the 6 route, despite the hold ups in Portslade, I actually finished 20mins early!

I still haven't found out what actually happened with the bus that day, but I have driven it since then, and the air pressure is just fine



Thanks for reading, here's your 'prize' - a photo I took at the time. Notice the Highways Agency truck up ahead, one of the bleeding obvious road signs, the engineer's truck, the obvious road works ahead, and the freezing cold wet weather
ENJOY!



AARRRGRGGHGHGHHHHHH!!!!!
/me goes temporarily insane!

Oh wait... It's over, Thank God!

TL:DR?
Summary
TL:D ****ing R

Reven Cordelle
Caldari
Total Mayhem.
Cry Havoc.
Posted - 2009.01.28 10:27:00 - [16]
 

Heres my story;

This morning some **** jumped in front of my train and made me late by 2 hours.

The end.

People, if you're going to commit suicide-by-train - Do it in your own damn time. Kthx.

Public transport is bull****.

AnonyTerrorNinja
Minmatar
Atomic Geese
Posted - 2009.01.28 11:30:00 - [17]
 

Edited by: AnonyTerrorNinja on 28/01/2009 11:45:58
Edited by: AnonyTerrorNinja on 28/01/2009 11:38:18
tl;dr

Does not compare to my dual/tri/quad/octa wall of text attacks!

To relate, tho.

I'm cycling along, all hardcore and stuff. Along comes some dutchie that forgot what side of the road he's meant to drive on, and in his confusion, coming around a turn, bumps me (softly), causing me to fall off my bike.

Much apologies are received, I'm unhurt and he's glad he didn't hurt me (or the car he was borrowing). So I go on about my business, cycling along, cycling along, and on the other side of town I get bumped by the same guy again, who wasn't used to what side of the car was which while reversing out of a parking lot.

By this time I felt like a turkey just mindlessly bumping into foreigners' cars rather than them bumping into me; more apologies were received and once again the guy was glad he hadn't hurt me or the car he was borrowing.



So I'm on my way home, cycling along, thinking it's best I don't get bumped by this guy again, when lo and behold, I observe the car he was driving firmly planted beneath the back of one of our public transport busses.

I go up to comfort the guy and point out that at least he still hadn't hurt anyone. He laughed a bit, and fortunately, being a blood relative of the car's owner and the bus having stopped abruptly, the insurance company was willing to pay for repairs to the car's roof and windscreen.



*edit*

Oh and wrt to the hydraulic brake where the hydraulic system keeps the lock OFF the brake, and a malfunction in the hydraulics means the brakes lock; there was a terrible bus accident here a year or two ago in which many school children (and the bus driver) had passed away; where the bus came down a hill, supposedly with no brakes (the bus driver survived long enough in hospital to say this, if I recall). The thing that I found suspicious was that I knew that bus model at the time from having looked at second hand models of it at a local scrap yard, and knew that it used a force-open hydraulic locking system.

None of the newspapers or news reports covering the story made any mention of the fact that these brakes somehow magically didn't force closed on any one of the four wheels or the fact that the emergency brake lock also magically malfunctioned.

*edit*
the words 'break' and 'brake' are not dyslexic friendly...

Slade Trillgon
Endless Possibilities Inc.
Posted - 2009.01.28 11:42:00 - [18]
 

Culmen you failed to edit in the links to the MS Paint pics Laughing

TX; that is a wall of text Shocked


Slade

The TX
Gallente
Pulsar Combat Supplies
Alternative Realities
Posted - 2009.01.28 13:32:00 - [19]
 

Originally by: Slade Trillgon
Culmen you failed to edit in the links to the MS Paint pics Laughing

TX; that is a wall of text Shocked


Slade




1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, LOL.

The TX
Gallente
Pulsar Combat Supplies
Alternative Realities
Posted - 2009.01.28 13:36:00 - [20]
 

Originally by: Reven Cordelle
Heres my story;

This morning some **** jumped in front of my train and made me late by 2 hours.

The end.

People, if you're going to commit suicide-by-train - Do it in your own damn time. Kthx.

Public transport is bull****.



Southern Railway in the UK? Cuz as a bus driver in the Brighton & Hove area, I was one of the many drivers that had to cope with the massive surge of train passengers getting on the buses for free with their train tickets. lol.


annoing
Amarr
Dirt Nap Squad
Dirt Nap Squad.
Posted - 2009.01.28 16:27:00 - [21]
 

Sorry, I fell asleep half way through .. what happened?

The TX
Gallente
Pulsar Combat Supplies
Alternative Realities
Posted - 2009.01.28 16:32:00 - [22]
 

Originally by: annoing
Sorry, I fell asleep half way through .. what happened?


My bus broke down, it was bad. I took a picture, and made a dozen more.


annoing
Amarr
Dirt Nap Squad
Dirt Nap Squad.
Posted - 2009.01.28 17:16:00 - [23]
 

Originally by: The TX

My bus broke down, it was bad. I took a picture, and made a dozen more.



ooh

Sorry 'bout the bus.
I always find at this time of year that a nice cup of Lemsip, warm clothing, the heating on full and an early night will make everything better (have a brandy/whisky too, cant do any harm). Try it on the bus, you never know.
Well done on the piccy, Lord Litchfield will be proud.
Did you use pen, pastels, ink or oil for your home made pictures? All I can say is watch out art world here comes TX!!!




Deathhawk
Hammersmith Hardmen
Posted - 2009.01.28 21:29:00 - [24]
 

BOOOORI..ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

FireFoxx80
Caldari
Caldari Provisions
Posted - 2009.01.28 23:01:00 - [25]
 

LOL, m8 that last photo is classic. Nice place to break down SurprisedShocked

Ann Tsukamoto
Posted - 2009.01.29 04:36:00 - [26]
 

I haven't read the forums for what seems like forever. Crying or Very sad

Did you buy that bus your firm was planning to sell?


 

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