open All Channels
seplocked My EVE
blankseplocked 'Evolution' Video Criticism
This thread is older than 90 days and has been locked due to inactivity.

Author Topic

Posted - 2008.08.06 01:02:00 - [1]

Edited by: Smudge202 on 06/08/2008 01:07:29
Ok, long story short, I read about an uber old video called 'Evolution' on these forums. I can't remember whether I have seen it, so i search it on eve-files. Low and behold I found a 700+mB video by the same name, so I crossed my fingers and let my poor ol' connection download it for half an hour.

What I downloaded was not only a bad video, it annoyed me that someone can take up 700+mB of precious chribba's eve-files space for such a piece of cack. The video I'm talking about can be found here but I strongly, strongly, strongly, unberwtfbbqpwn, advise against wasting the bandwidth and your time to download it.

So, why am I wasting even more of my life now writing about the video? Simple, in the hope that the uploader, or a friend thereof, will read this post and learn something.

The following is my criticism on each of the fights shown in the video, and I by no means offer myself as a PvP expert, simply a whinging 'back seat driver'. Rolling Eyes

Fight One - 00:00:31 > 00:02:01
  • Manage your drones
    From what I can tell, this video was made before the drone-micro-managing nerf. At which point you should be showing the health of all your deployed drones. Recall them when they start taking damage to break the lock of the person shooting them. Back when this video was filmed, this would also give your drones full shield, not anymore though. If your drones are all the dps you have, this is even more important!

  • Tracking Disruptors on a Missile Barge? - wtf
    So you know, Tracking Disruptors do not work on a Drake. Missiles are fired from Missile Launchers, not turrets. Don't waste the cap, help you're fleet out and use them on the rupture you already have targetted which is far more likely to be using turrets

Fight Two - 00:02:31 > 00:04:01
  • Repairing your enemy!!!? - again, WTF!
    Why on earth are you remote armour repping your target?! Drag that remote rep off of the top line so that you are less likely to accidentally activate it. How embarrassing... Embarassed

  • Broadcast ONCE!
    Your fleet have a broadcast window much the same as yours, though likely better positioned and less covered. If you need armour, broadcast that you need armour. A decent fleet will then do what they can to provide you with some armour. Don't keep broadcasting! Its no different to getting on ts/vent/fleet-chat and screaming about how your 'going down'. What if a second person needs armour? The FC for example... he/she is far more crucial, but he/she has the discipline to only broadcast the once, you spamming the broadcast button means your FC goes down ASWELL as your poorly tanked 'geddon.

  • Control your Drones
    We all know drones don't have the smartest AI. So control them. When you begin shooting a new target, the next thing on your 'to-do' list is send your drones to the new target. In close fought fights this can make the difference between your fleet winning and losing

  • Cap Management
    If your cap falls below 33.3% then you do not have a cap recharge time sufficient to accomdate your cap usage. So, if your cap falls below this point, and you can obviously foresee the fight continuing beyond your cap reaching 0%, that is when you should be injecting. Do not wait until your milliseconds away from having modules deactivate because you haven't clicked your injector soon enough. One lagspike and your modules could deactivate, disabling your warp scram and allowing your target to warp off. 'Lagspikes' are far from uncommon in eve ;)

  • Overview Settings
    Keep something warpable on your overviw if you have the space. Whether it be stargates, planets, stations, etc... keep something on your overview because when you inevitably go pop, you want to save those combat implants and get safe. If not done already; in larger fleet battles, disable effects to...

Posted - 2008.08.06 01:03:00 - [2]

Edited by: Smudge202 on 06/08/2008 02:03:32
Edited by: Smudge202 on 06/08/2008 02:02:23
Edited by: Smudge202 on 06/08/2008 01:59:54
EDIT: Post previously reserved

...reduce the time between your ship being destroyed and you getting control of your lagged client again.

Fight Three - 00:04:01 > 00:07:04
  • Overview Settings
    I appreciate at the time it was not available, but overview tabs... Before overview tabs you needed to set up your overview as you needed it before a fight, now you can switch between. Apart from the aforementioned 'warpable objects', your overview in this case should have already been showing enemy drones. (You rectify this at 00:05:48)

Fight Four - 00:07:04 > 00:10:30
  • Battleship Fittings
    Why are you flying a battleship without a Tech 2 Warp Disruptor in PvP? I can only hope that there was not one available on the market...

  • Enemy Drones on Overview again...
    As above...

  • Cap Management
    Stop wasting cap... until your shield reaches at least 25%(less it is falling very rapidly), why waste cap on armour modules? They're not being put to use...

  • Drone Management
    Why are you shooting his drones? You are obviously going to kill him much before he can kill you, and killing his drones will have NO affect on this. If you intend to collect anything from his loot, you'd rather his drones be unharmed. In addition, shooting them will possibly cause your opponent to withdraw them and thus increase the chance of them being destroyed. Use your dps on taking your opponent down slightly faster and yourself a cap booster or two, and the cost of repairing your looted drones...

Fight Five - 00:10:30 > 00:10:55
  • WTF Gank
    You and your at least 7 friends killed a Sigil Industrial Ship, whoopdee doo!

Fight Six - 00:10:55 > 00:12:04
  • Target Management
    By now I've seen you target 5 different things. So why the heck are you not targetting the other pods!!? 'Meh' to mercy... you never been podded?

  • Gank
    You in a Rapier vs a Flycatcher... whoopdee doo

Fight Seven - 00:12:04 > 00:14:05
  • You just fail...
    Why on earth (yes, I have had to edit this post to tone down my 'language') are you webbing the guy that is sat directly behing you, obviously set to follow, not moving more than 20ms...!!!!!? Use your webs on the others to stop them getting out of the bubble for goodness sake!!!

  • Navigation
    Your final target is less than 1000m from escaping, moving at 159ms despite your webs... why have you note even contemplated approaching him? I expect you can at least match that speed...?

""Fight"" Eight - 00:14:05 > 00:14:45
  • They ran from you so not much to comment on here...

Fight Nine - 00:14:45 > 00:15:28
    Ammo Management
    Adjust your ammo to suit the range before firing off cycles... on an amarrian ship, you're just wasting cap. If your outside of (Optimal + (FallOff x 2)) don't even bother. Oh... and try not to forget your ammo Wink
  • Drone Management
    Why aren't you using them? You've already established you've forgetten to bring ammo and thus can't hit your target... not your only other form of dps are pointlessly sat in your drone bay

Fight Ten - 00:15:28 > 00:16:27
  • Gank...meh
    Enough said... gank.. whoopdee doo

Fight Eleven - 00:16:27 > 00:17:21
  • Proper Gank... meh meh meh!!
    At least a Hurricane and a Raven versus an industrial!!? Who cares!!!!!!!!! Grow a pair...

Fight Twelve - 00:17:21 > 00:18:12
    Yet another gank...
    Boring... anyone can blob... your video starts when there's little less than pods left... even your pvp skills can handle them

Fight Thirteen - 00:18:12 > 00:18:54

Posted - 2008.08.06 01:05:00 - [3]

*Reserved* - I'll finish this post, promise... stupit posting limits... Sad

Posted - 2008.08.06 01:53:00 - [4]

Its the wrong one m8.

Apalonius Christ
KANGC Logistics
Posted - 2008.08.06 02:14:00 - [5]

Shocked wow all that time for the wrong "uber vid". Thanks nobody cares.

Chicken Runner
Posted - 2008.08.06 03:53:00 - [6]

here the one you looking for Rolling Eyes

Rote Kapelle
Posted - 2008.08.06 05:48:00 - [7]


forum mematar
Posted - 2008.08.06 06:24:00 - [8]

Huge rant Shocked

Yuki Li
Omerta Syndicate
Posted - 2008.08.06 07:04:00 - [9]

tbh I wouldn't let you backseat drive for me.

You'd probably get into the wrong car.

Castle Greyskull
Posted - 2008.08.06 11:59:00 - [10]

Originally by: Yuki Li
tbh I wouldn't let you backseat drive for me.

You'd probably get into the wrong car.


Ship spinners inc
Posted - 2008.08.06 13:01:00 - [11]

sounds good, downloading

North Eastern Swat
Pandemic Legion
Posted - 2008.08.06 13:38:00 - [12]

Originally by: Gneeznow
sounds good, downloading


and to the OP LaughingLaughingLaughingLaughing

Enthes goldhart
Mindstar Technology
Executive Outcomes
Posted - 2008.08.06 13:49:00 - [13]

Originally by: Yuki Li
tbh I wouldn't let you backseat drive for me.

You'd probably get into the wrong car.


Dmitri Vasso
Veritas Immortalis
Posted - 2008.08.06 14:59:00 - [14]

So, you dig into the archives of eve movie history, you pick out a movie, and you actually take your time to analyze each fight. Of course each and every one of your impressions of the various fight wont count for nothing what with the new game mechanics and all, and secondly; what? Confused you must have alot of time on your hands, mate.

Posted - 2008.08.06 15:03:00 - [15]



So, you go to EVE Files, download a random movie, which most of us probably haven't seen or don't remember seeing, and then analyse it to tell us it's bad, even though no one cares.

What the..?

Kelron Queldine
Beyond Divinity Inc
Posted - 2008.08.06 15:19:00 - [16]

Never seen the video, at least it was an amusing read.

Originally by: Smudge202

  • Battleship Fittings
    Why are you flying a battleship without a Tech 2 Warp Disruptor in PvP? I can only hope that there was not one available on the market...

This is not a good criticism. Did he have a T1 warp disruptor? Was he soloing with no warp disruptor at all?

The Scope
Posted - 2008.08.06 15:27:00 - [17]

poor fellow

RoCkEt X
Posted - 2008.08.06 21:22:00 - [18]

lol oh dear old chap.

Rionnag Alba
Northern Coalition.
Posted - 2008.08.06 23:32:00 - [19]

Jesus ****ing christ!

Red Goats
Posted - 2008.08.07 02:35:00 - [20]


Genos Occidere
Posted - 2008.08.07 03:42:00 - [21]

Originally by: Chicken Runner
here the one you looking for Rolling Eyes

this. i'm quite sure the "uber" evolution video you've been hearing about is not the one you just wrote us such a lovely essay on.

The Illuminati.
Posted - 2008.08.07 04:34:00 - [22]

LMAO, silly troll.

Try harder, you will find it.

The Illuminati.
Posted - 2008.08.07 04:47:00 - [23]

Btw, if you type evolution into that search area to the right side of the screen you would have gotten the results you actually needed.

Here is the link to the actual Evolution video released April, 2005. Sadly, the remainder is still a work in progress.


Asuka SoryuLangley
Posted - 2008.08.07 10:57:00 - [24]


Best ROFL of the year!
Best LOL of the year!
Most Huge Epic Fail of the year!

Congratulation!! Laughing

Lorna Loot
Posted - 2008.08.07 20:15:00 - [25]

Oh lord, i knew reading the comments would be better than the OP. Thanks for the lols Razz

Count D00KU
Inflamed Crusty Unit
Posted - 2008.08.07 21:56:00 - [26]

/me shakes head.

Heaven's Army
Posted - 2008.08.07 22:13:00 - [27]

first: this post is probably just a joke from him that we all can laugh and that we say this is an epic fail and all that...

or not - but then...

Please visit your user settings to re-enable images.

is not my sig!


This thread is older than 90 days and has been locked due to inactivity.


The new forums are live

Please adjust your bookmarks to

These forums are archived and read-only