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Love is Hate
Posted - 2006.05.25 17:05:00 - [1]

What is the weirdest, most eccentric, funnies moments that you have had with any of your teachers. I will start off with a couple of mine.

One of my substitute teachers was like a family guy episode. She would take off in random directions with pointless stories that have no relation to what she was talking about.

Another one is when i was in 7th grade, my PE teacher was sitting on a table and he snapped the table in half from his weight (ohhh the irony)

Share yours.

Raven Aure
Hadron Enterprises
Posted - 2006.05.25 17:08:00 - [2]

From a female physics teacher to a pupil in all-male A-Level set:

"Piers! I want you to get on and do that four letter word beginning with W and ending in K!"

Posted - 2006.05.25 17:10:00 - [3]

Originally by: Raven Aure
From a female physics teacher to a pupil in all-male A-Level set:

"Piers! I want you to get on and do that four letter word beginning with W and ending in K!"


Love is Hate
Posted - 2006.05.25 17:29:00 - [4]

Originally by: Uggster
Originally by: Raven Aure
From a female physics teacher to a pupil in all-male A-Level set:

"Piers! I want you to get on and do that four letter word beginning with W and ending in K!"


Arcane Velshologies
Posted - 2006.05.25 17:32:00 - [5]

Originally by: Raven Aure
From a female physics teacher to a pupil in all-male A-Level set:

"Piers! I want you to get on and do that four letter word beginning with W and ending in K!"


Posted - 2006.05.25 18:16:00 - [6]

Once, RE teacher left after about 2mins of lesson and came back with 1 minute of lesson left and just said good lesson, u can go now. He got fired later that day after he did it with all 3 classes he had that morning.

Posted - 2006.05.25 18:16:00 - [7]

Edited by: Bentguru on 25/05/2006 18:16:33
For my HS graduation a teacher who's first name was Berl (well since gay is filtered, lets just say he is not into women..) showed up at the ceremony wearing... wait for it.... high heels. Everybody, the faculty included, thought it was hilarious.

Said teacher always came in drag on halloween day, since most of the school came in in costumes that day. It was readily apparent that Berl's outfits were not just for halloween.

Nira Li
Destructive Influence
Northern Coalition.
Posted - 2006.05.25 18:36:00 - [8]

I made one of my teachers cry on 3 different ocations, shes a ***** tho

Matthias Ungabii
Zor Industries
Pandemic Legion
Posted - 2006.05.25 18:39:00 - [9]

we were once being told the importance of not playing with fire extinguishers...

thing is, the one person who seemed to take the least notice was the teacher. the next day he shot the first person to come in the door in the face, good job it was a water one and not CO2, bad job the first person in was the headteacher.

was fun to see a teacher sacked in lesson

Berak FalCheran
Allied Conglomerated Holdings Group
Posted - 2006.05.25 18:45:00 - [10]

Had a gym teacher (male) who shaved his legs for bike racing (or so he *said*). (That was funny in middle school, it's not terribly funny anymore Laughing)

Had an english teacher that was in a punk band called "The Funky Lovemakers" and took a week off of work during the schoolyear to record an album.

Had a band teacher (male) who would literally cry about once a week due to the fact that the entire band was full of cut-ups and jerks that he couldn't control.

Had an english teacher who regularily threw chalk pieces with great force at students heads. Once in a while he would throw a chair or stool across the room. None of this was out of anger either, he was just kinda bat****.

Had ANOTHER english teacher (what is it with these people? Laughing) who was an CRAZY, senile old lady. On top of being extremely intelligent, extremely crazy and forgetful and occasionally breaking into sobbing over her recently deceased husband... she openly talked about taking LSD in the early 60's and being a student of Timothy Leary at Harvard University.

I guess none of those are 'moments' -- just crazy people. Hopefully the effect is the same, lol.

Okay, this post is insanely organized, but wtf. Here's one more that's actually a moment.

In 3rd grade I sat next to a bully (you know, one of the fat ones that no one likes). He used to punch me occasionally in the arm, etc. Well one day, I just lost it and jammed a pencil like an inch into his bicep. He started sobbing. He went to the nurse. The teacher took me out of the class and across the hall. I start crying out of fear and contrition. This whole time, she's trying to hold back a tight-lipped smile. She then calls my mom to tell her what happened and this teacher, not able to hold it anymore, STARTS GIGGLING. She knew the kid deserved it and I didn't get in any trouble. \o/

Dynaverse Corporation
Vertigo Coalition
Posted - 2006.05.25 23:00:00 - [11]

Edited by: Mimiru on 25/05/2006 23:01:38
One of the physics teachers at my school was the best. He lost an eye in a motorcycle accident and had it replaced with a glass one. Whenever he would leave the room he would take it out, put it on his desk, and tell us "ive got my eye on you." He also enjoyed taking pure sodium from the chem labs and tossing chunks into a beaker of water in the middle of class. Once blew a hole in the roof doing this.

My english teacher once had a weird potted plant she called the 'magical plant of happiness' for about half the year. After we returned from christmas break, the plant was gone, and when asked what happened to it, she only said that she "returned it to its preferred state of being in nature." She is also convinced that she was abducted by aliens twice, and cries on cue at the mention of the movie Windtalkers.

Ive had some wierd substitute teachers in highschool. One guy told the class he wanted to take a nap, told us to all go outside, locked the class room door, and went to sleep.

One old guy disregarded what the teacher wanted us to do that day, and instead he showed us public service videos from the late 70's warning about radon gas poisoning and lead paint. From what i could tell, he carried atleast 3 of these videos on him at all times.

Posted - 2006.05.25 23:07:00 - [12]

Edited by: FooB2 on 25/05/2006 23:14:22
when my old RE (thats Religious Education) teacher got sacked for reportedly having sex with an underage pupil. i hear he now owns and operates a burger restaurant.

and when the OTHER RE teacher got a vietnamese mail-order bride who couldnt say anything in english except "rice".


*EDIT* just rememebered, one of my old substitute maths teachers was the EXACT SPITTING IMAGE of the guy who plays the t1000 in terminator 2, shades and everything. right down to that "look" he has in the film.

Also, one of the funniest moments i had, was when we were in my mates car during lesson time, who has two 1KW JBL subwoofers in the boot of his 100nx, and we play an air-raid siren at full-pelt during the lessons and the entire school bombs out of the classrooms, some people screaming. man a got a RIGHT *******ing for that one.

Tarquin Tarquinius
Escorts of Eve
Posted - 2006.05.25 23:15:00 - [13]

Edited by: Tarquin Tarquinius on 25/05/2006 23:25:52
Edited by: Tarquin Tarquinius on 25/05/2006 23:22:52

I once had a science teacher in high school that was the dorkiest dude imaginable. He was like 5 ft tall and real skinny. He was also a 15 year army veteran who served in the Gulf War (among other smaller campaigns). He used to teach us self defense tricks in class. Like how to break the neck of someone who grabs you from behind.

I once had a teacher say, "England is an island. On the island is Ireland, Scotland,..." I ignored everything else she said for the rest of the year.

My senior year in High School, one of the football coaches was shot and killed by his wife.

When I was in the Seventh grade, a substitute in my Keyboarding class was looking at **** on the computer when the principle walked in. The principle left, but five minutes later came back with a new sub and asked to see the other one in the hall. I assume he got fired right there.

Brutor Tribe
Posted - 2006.05.25 23:27:00 - [14]

One of my best mates was a bit of a trouble causer so he had to have a helper guy sit in class with with him to make sure he didnt mess around. We had a hot music teacher and one day while the helper guy was talking to her it became obvious to everyone that he had an erection. When the guy realised that we were all laughing at him he made up some excuse to leave for 10 minutes, no doubt to go rub one off in the school toilets because when he got back he seemed more relaxedLaughing

Talos Munjab
Posted - 2006.05.26 01:51:00 - [15]

had a chemistry teacher that poured white phoshrus down the sink Shocked took a long time to fill the hole up Laughing
had to do a physics project involing water rockets, filled one up with lemonade just to see what would happen, it went nuts and hit the headmaster on the head. the pe class near by couldnt stop laughingTwisted Evil

Negative Nancy
Posted - 2006.05.26 02:14:00 - [16]

My highschool shop teacher was one of those guys with a short man complex, but he was also ancient and kinda senile. My friend and I used to spend the entire class period making shivs out of coat hangars. One time, someone broke a tool, and the teacher got quite angry, so he started yelling at the top of his lungs about respecting the equipment. In the middle of his tirade, one of his teeth shot right out of his mouth and slid across the floor.

My highschool chemistry teacher was also old and kinda senile. He used to tell the class how he couldn't wear colored socks because the dye would leech into his feet due to using X-ray shoe-fitting machines as a child.

Terra Rosa Militia
SpaceMonkey's Alliance
Posted - 2006.05.26 03:16:00 - [17]

In the third grade in Margaret Harloe Elementary School in Arroyo Grande, California, my teacher, an elderly woman named Mrs. Tailor, got so upset and flustered with the class that she practically shreaked at us that she "better not hear another word from any of us, not even a pin drop!!!"

Dead silence hung low over the entire class until a moment later when I suddenly said "dinggggg...." Very HappyVery HappyVery Happy
I don't remember much after that.


In the fifth grade, at the same school, we had a teacher named Mr. Ward. In his classroom there was a coat closet that had a bookshelf with doors on top. Before the teacher came back from outside, I hid inside the closet while the rest of the class took their seats. Mr. Ward started reading off the attendence sheet and I slid my fingers up into the upper doors and pushed one open. Mr. Ward stopped, and walked over to them to close it. When he returned to the front of the class I pushed the doors open again. He walked over, pushed the books back, and returned to the front again, and I did it again, opening both doors. The whole classroom knew I was in there and was giggling uncontrollably.


My PE teacher was a fat old guy (what is it with fat PE teachers?). He filled in a position as math teacher and I took one of his math classes. He always called an equation on the whiteboard a "puppy." like... "this puppy here factors into that puppy there and..." you get the picture. While he was calling things "puppies" he would point at them with a stick made up of three or four whiteboard markers stuck together lengthwise. Occasionally one would break away as he was tapping the board with the "stick" and he would kick at the markers as they fell to the ground.

Well one day he asked me to take control of the class as he had to step outside for a few minutes. So I stuck a bunch of markers together, and started calling everything on the board a "puppy" and hit the board hard enough for the markers to break off of the stick and I kicked at them as they fell to the ground. The whole class was a riot. They also coached me into making all the funny facial looks he would get and verbal ticks. He returned a not too happy "puppy" after that.


The photography teacher was a crazy old white haired coot who would always say BANANAS!!!! whenever a normal person would curse. Usually when a student beat him at chess.


We had a teacher exchange one year when our science teacher went to teach for about six months in a school in Australia, and an aussie teacher came and took his place here for the same period of time. The weird thing he did was point at everything on the whiteboard with his middle finger. I concluded that all aussies did that because I didn't know any better at the time. It was weird.

Tarquin Tarquinius
Escorts of Eve
Posted - 2006.05.26 03:29:00 - [18]

For two semesters in college I had a Government professor that was literally a stand-up comedian. That was the best damn class ever. He was very anti-Bush too.

My history professor would always use this very long curse when referring to Republicans. It was funny because it was like 10 words and it was consistant. Something like "scum sucking, piece of ****, curse from hell, sons of bithin' Republicans."

My Biology professor last semester would always answer peoples cell phones when they rang in class. One time he answered a girls phone, and it was another girl who was skipping the class that day. He made her explain why she wasn't there.

Mason X
Posted - 2006.05.27 09:34:00 - [19]

ah, high school, so many memories...

My year 12 physics teacher (really great guy) bought me a case of premium beer, apprently i inspired him to not retire for a few more years. how many people can say a techer has done that for them? :)

year 11 substitute physics teacher: we were producing hydrogen in a 4L beaker with a glass lid (so only the lip of the beaker was not air tight) and we asked permission (half jokingly) if we could do the 'pop test' on it. to our amazement the teacher said ok (she wasnt too bright - best fun ive had in physics though). we lit it up, the beaker exploded, leaking HCl everywhere, and the lid flew up, hit the ceiling and smashed. damn lucky we had asked permission beforehand.

year 12 english literature. you know the type, interprets texts way beyond and sensical explanation, total bull$hit, anyone thats studied literature im sure knows. i happened to know someone who personally knew one of the authors we were studying, so i arranged to get an explanation for one of her books written out that totally contradicted the teachers explanation, got it signed, copied, and handed it out to everyone in the class as a 'resource'. teacher was ****ed, went from an A average to a C in that class :/

year 12 chem teacher, the type that just wants to get out at the end of the day, doesnt give a **** about students. his standard phrase when someone was taking in class when he was was "if you're not interested, go outside". of course, this was just to shut people up, noone ever actually went outside, until he said it to me and my mate, got up, walked outside and continued talking. he was shocked. came back in 20 mins later and he asked if we were ready to listen now. "no" i said, "just getting some food". failed chemistry :(

Temptation inc.
Posted - 2006.05.27 10:57:00 - [20]

Definetly my computer engineering lecturer, we just sit there ready to record him going off on a tangent. Known for his wild arm movements, fondness of rubbing his bald head and a wide vocal range, I shall post a video when I find somewhere to host it.

Dak Hakin
Sebiestor Tribe
Posted - 2006.05.27 11:01:00 - [21]

Had a spanish teacher that was about 400 years old and a total *****, she enjoyed humiliating certain students...

Also had a substitute in algebra once that was like 20 years old, I bummed a smoke from her in class, and after school we went and hung out and... stuff.

Wonder whatever happened to her.

Baldour Ngarr
Black Thorne Corporation
Black Thorne Alliance
Posted - 2006.05.27 11:02:00 - [22]

Edited by: Baldour Ngarr on 27/05/2006 11:07:50
Originally by: Mason X
his standard phrase when someone was taking in class when he was was "if you're not interested, go outside". of course, this was just to shut people up, noone ever actually went outside, until he said it to me and my mate, got up, walked outside and continued talking. he was shocked. came back in 20 mins later and he asked if we were ready to listen now. "no" i said, "just getting some food". failed chemistry :(

Our music teacher tried that once .. he tossed two of the class outside for talking, so they just sat on the grass in the sunshine and carried on talking. Then someone else got caught and tossed out, then I (his favourite pupil in the class) got caught whispering to my mate .. he just stared at me angrily, so I grinned, got up, and walked out.

By the end of the lesson, he had two people in class and fifteen of us playing tag outside.

...this is the same teacher... in one class, we had a particularly boring session about harmonies and chord inversions, which he was taking from a book ... while he was out of the room taking a phone call, we made a giant stack of chairs about eight feet high and hid the book on top of it. He didn't so much as bat an eyelid when he walked back in .. didn't bother going to the piano to look for his book .. he just brushed his hand across the top of the chair tower as he walked past, his book fell off the side, he caught it, opened it and carried on where he'd left off.

It was only after the Headmaster had been in to talk to him for five minutes and gone again, about an hour later, that we realised the Chair Tower was still there, and the Head had been standing right next to it.

This was ALSO the same teacher who once shouted at us that "by now, you should be able to use the Ic-V-I chord sequence standing on your head." In order to demonstrate, although he couldn't actually reach the keyboard to play piano standing on his head, he lay flat on his back, reached his hands up behind his head to the keys, and played it.

And just then the Headmaster walked in again. ...

....never did find out what the Head thought about that guy.

Caldari Independent Navy Reserve
The Fourth District
Posted - 2006.05.27 13:00:00 - [23]

We has a funny moment with our Cisco instructor just recently.

He was explaining the ISDN chapter to us from CCNA4, and at one point he came to the fact that a ISDN connection has 3 lines. 2 64kbps lines, and a smaller line with keeps the connection alive. This connection is free of charge here in the netherlands and was always online. So if you are able to port your messenger traffic over that 16kbps line, you would be able to chat for free, according to our instructor. Now here comes the kicker. He also said that you can also download for free with your bittorrent on that line, it has more then enough room for a torrent running on 3kbps...Razz

We tend to download torrents at 300kbps+ but meh Rolling Eyes Somebody get him a better torrent siteRazz

Primary Intelligence
Posted - 2006.05.27 15:31:00 - [24]

Not of one my teachers, but a cousin's.

He (the teacher) went home over the school holidays and came back the next school year as a woman, having gone through a sex change operation. An assembly was called and all the students were told they had to call him "Miss" from that point on.

Posted - 2006.05.27 19:10:00 - [25]

i just found out that my VB/Robotics lecturer plays EVE, and i podded him about 2 days before he told me this. he lost a full set of +3's and a true sansha heat sink. i also learned that he doesnt like -10 people.

i gave him a fake character name. ill correct him as soon as my exam results are published.

Henrik Yssuts
Sebiestor Tribe
Posted - 2006.05.27 19:50:00 - [26]

i had a few off-kilter teachers in school...

in my senior year of high school, i had auto shop with Mr. Dix (over 6 feet tall, with a handlebar moustache that joined with his sideburns. and his wife's name is Sharon. Srsly. the entire year, first thing in the morning (thats about 7:00am to 9:00am, every weekday) and i had a tendency to.... be in a state of inebriation right before class (even sometimes in class - it's pretty hard to keep a clear head when you're buffeted by brake clean fumes.) all year, this guy would make jokes at the expense of students, bang auto parts like instruments, and even jump on top of a few students. oh, and he would show videos of his hunting trips, and brought in a few deadly weapons (compound bow, empty shotgun)

in my second year of college, i decided to take a philosophy course, and this professor was quite a unique person, to say the least. this guy was a blatant atheist (and called agnostics "chicken atheists"), a staunch anti-republican, independently wealthy, and maybe one of the most intelligent teachers i've ever had. i remember a few of the things he did: nailed a female student with a water bottle (empty and unintended), used the phrase "fornicate you" on several occaisions, and held a class discussion on "Young ladies who expose their breasts for beads."

oh, and there's a history professor at that same school who's a tranny. hair like Hulk Hogan, face like Alice Cooper, clothes and makeup like a hooker. 'nuff said.

Love is Hate
Posted - 2006.05.27 20:31:00 - [27]

Originally by: FooB2
i just found out that my VB/Robotics lecturer plays EVE, and i podded him about 2 days before he told me this. he lost a full set of +3's and a true sansha heat sink. i also learned that he doesnt like -10 people.

i gave him a fake character name. ill correct him as soon as my exam results are published.

Moss Pharmacy
Posted - 2006.05.27 20:55:00 - [28]

I had a french french teacher, and one day we had to do powerpoint presentations on zoo animals and thier sizes.

so halfway into the presentation lesson, one of the guys in my class says (quite audibly) 'Oh god this is bellend.'

We all burst out laughing, and the teacher says 'Eeh, what is this? what is bellend?'.

And the guy who came out with it said 'Oh, it's a word for a good thing.' Much hilarity ensued, and i'm almost certain some people actaully stopped breathing when the teacher suddenly came out with (with a VERY french accent);

'Oh, yes! it's bellend! yes! Bellend!'


Moss Pharmacy
Posted - 2006.05.27 20:55:00 - [29]

Edited by: Moss Pharmacy on 27/05/2006 20:55:13

Lanfear's Bane
Mining Munitions and Mayhem
R i s e
Posted - 2006.05.28 00:10:00 - [30]

We had a punishment in our school known as 'A Saturday'. A detention on a saturday morning for two hours. I had a total of about eleven of them but of these but my favourite was from a Chemistry teacher who after a particularly noisy chemisty class cra.cked up about half way through and threatened the whole class with a Saturday for anyone who talked during the rest of the class. My response of 'Yeah right' earned me an hour per word on a Saturday morning.

I also earned a Saturday in a Saturady for writing on someones shirt...

Also the school made them very difficult to skip or avoid them by sending a note home to your parents letting them know you had been punished which they had to return signed. They used plain, hand written, unmarked envelopes. Smart bastards :)

However, as I was in trouble so often and always getting called out of class so often by various vice-principles I was able to skip class and then claim that I had been in the vice-principles office. Razz Balls of steal pay back double if you are brave enough to use them Laughing

Lanfear's Bane.

On a side note for anyone who smokes in school, the girls toilets are much safer to smoke in than the lads ones, it was one of the few things I was never caught for Surprised

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