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blankseplocked Afew funnies from the Edinburgh Fringe
 
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Trooper B99
Caldari
Body Count Inc.
Against ALL Authorities
Posted - 2005.08.31 11:38:00 - [1]
 

From http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005400426,00.html

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I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

Marcus Brigstocke at the Assembly Rooms



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Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.

Jimmy Carr



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The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.

Chris Addison at the Pleasance



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My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.

Patrick Monahan at the Gilded Balloon



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The dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died... Dido must be sh***ing herself.

Colin & Fergus at the Pleasance



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My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child ... well maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night.

Susan Murray at the Underbelly



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Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks?

Adam Bloom at the Pleasance



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You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you, because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my favourite flower?"

And you murmur to yourself: "Sh*t, I wasn't listening ..Self-raising?"

Addy Van-Der-Borgh at the Assembly Rooms



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The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and
punched someone in the face.

Jeremy Limb, at the Trap



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I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help".

Mark Watson, Rhod Gilbert at the Tron


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Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

Demetri Martin at the Assembly Rooms





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A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please".

The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go join the circus?"

The dog replies: "What would the circus want with a plumber".

Steven Alan Green at C34




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I like to go into the Body Shop and shout out really loud "I've already got one!"

Norman Lovett at The Stand


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It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.

Chris Addison at the Pleasance


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I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation - but I'm not very good at it.

Arnold Brown at The Stand


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Xrak
Pat Sharp's Potato Rodeo
Wildly Inappropriate.
Posted - 2005.08.31 11:57:00 - [2]
 

Rofl, brillient.

LaughingLaughingLaughing

Chai N'Dorr
Selectus Pravus Lupus
Posted - 2005.08.31 12:02:00 - [3]
 

I really must stop mis-planning my vacations so I can start attending the Fringe again.

R31D
Caldari Provisions
Posted - 2005.08.31 16:19:00 - [4]
 

Laughing

That's the funniest thing I've read in a while

Atom HeartMother
Black Serpent Technologies
Posted - 2005.08.31 20:24:00 - [5]
 

/me cries why cant i be at the fringe this year

TheJay
Amarr
Sankkasen Mining Conglomerate
On the Rocks
Posted - 2005.08.31 21:17:00 - [6]
 

Edited by: TheJay on 31/08/2005 21:18:18
Arnold Brown is a legend, I advise anyone thats a fan of truly black comedy to go and see one of his shows Very Happy

Dakath
Posted - 2005.08.31 23:33:00 - [7]
 

A three-legged dog limps into a bar in Dodge City. He walks up to the bar. The bartender asks him what he wants.

"I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."

(Drum-roll, cymbal sting) Cool

Weebear
Celestial Horizon Corp.
Valainaloce
Posted - 2005.09.01 09:23:00 - [8]
 

The Fringe is going down hill a bit. Edinburgh didn't seem as busy as it has in previous years. Usually you need to run over at least 10 tourists to get to the other side town and this year only 2 or 3. I doubt it was due to the councils new traffic diversions, so it can only be that it was less busy or the American tourists have finally realised the differenc between a little green man and a little red one.

Only made it along to the 3 shows this year. 2 were great, 1 was average. The prices though are getting beyond a joke.

Trooper B99
Caldari
Body Count Inc.
Against ALL Authorities
Posted - 2005.09.01 10:34:00 - [9]
 

Agreed, I came over from Glasgow afew years back for a couple days but just haven't been motivated to come back . . . though I have to admit i did enjoy myself at the comedy stuff.

I guess I'm spoiled with having all the comedy clubs in glasgow which have good shows. Prices aren't as bad as the Fringe has become and it's not nearly as far to travel. ugh

Weebear
Celestial Horizon Corp.
Valainaloce
Posted - 2005.09.01 10:54:00 - [10]
 

Originally by: Trooper B99
Agreed, I came over from Glasgow afew years back for a couple days but just haven't been motivated to come back . . . though I have to admit i did enjoy myself at the comedy stuff.

I guess I'm spoiled with having all the comedy clubs in glasgow which have good shows. Prices aren't as bad as the Fringe has become and it's not nearly as far to travel. ugh


Haven't been to any of the Glasgow comedy clubs, although I did see Phil Kay at King Tuts a while back.

Edinburgh has one of those Jongleurs comedy clubs now, which I would recommend. Entry price was under a 15 and you got a drink and a meal included. Oh and 4 comedians as well. I seen the one in Glasgow and assume it is pretty much the same.

For 15 at the Fringe I got to watch Jason Byrne in a hot uncoomfortable room for 80mins.

As a neutral, Glasgow beats Edinburgh hands down for all sorts of entertainment. Unless you are over 60 and like castles and bus tours :)

Trooper B99
Caldari
Body Count Inc.
Against ALL Authorities
Posted - 2005.09.01 13:07:00 - [11]
 

Quote:
Haven't been to any of the Glasgow comedy clubs, although I did see Phil Kay at King Tuts a while back.

Edinburgh has one of those Jongleurs comedy clubs now, which I would recommend. Entry price was under a 15 and you got a drink and a meal included. Oh and 4 comedians as well. I seen the one in Glasgow and assume it is pretty much the same.


Pretty much. I've been lucky in that one of my mates is an amateur comedian on the glasgow circuit so we've had "free" - in that we had to buy him lots of drinks - entry to jongaluers, the stand etc. I really have to get back into going to them again, but EVE soaked up too much time in the last few months. :/

Zyyrus
Minmatar
Command and Conquer
Posted - 2005.09.01 14:03:00 - [12]
 

lol




 

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