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Pulgor
Posted - 2005.04.16 06:23:00 - [1]
 

Okay, some people will remember a while back there was a post on this very Galnet that was entitled "Ask an Ammatar" and it contained various questions from people about various things.

I figured since Pulgor Solutions is flopping and the next edition of that is going to be "Pulgor helps the newbies: Questions from the newbie forums." I'd try another one of these.

So go on, I know you have some questions for me. Don't be shy =P

Gaius Kador
PIE Inc.
Posted - 2005.04.16 06:26:00 - [2]
 

Good to have you back, Pulgor.

First question.

Why should a slave be granted freedom?

Vera Liskrii
Amarr
Posted - 2005.04.16 06:34:00 - [3]
 

If you ate with your feet too much, would you get athlete's face?

Fasute Sethnakte
Amarr
PIE Inc.
Posted - 2005.04.16 06:39:00 - [4]
 

How much Minmatar tribalism influences the Ammatar culture, and how does it?

Pulgor
Posted - 2005.04.16 06:44:00 - [5]
 

Originally by: Gaius Kador
Good to have you back, Pulgor.

First question.

Why should a slave be granted freedom?


Hi Gaius, it's good to be back. Much better then my 10m3 shack on Tanoo, was starting to get a bit cramped. Glad to see some people I know are still around.

The question, well that's a tricky one. Any holder can decide to say, "Hey, I'm going to let my property lose on the world and not take responsability for the reprecussions of this action." and so they set their slaves free just to see what kind of havok they cause. So reason #1: Entertainment.

Now in addition to that. Soemtimes holders run out of money. It happens, times get tough, Zeepo comes along and sells a guy some investment shares, and suddenly wham! Zeepo just ran off with 90% of the estate. Holder can no longer afford to take care of his slaves. Now some may just let them die, however others are scared that if they do that, a ghostly visage of Jim Hawkins will appear and damn them for all eternity for not following SPCS guidelines. Therefore they could let them free. Or else they can sell them to Ammatar Arms CEO Horatio Nemarr, although if they're good slaves, it would be a big waste. Ammatar Arms has a high "Turnover rate." Reason #2: Expences.

Now me? I'm not really into freeing slaves and Horatio Nemarr would be very upset if I freed my plantation of 11,000 slaves. On the other hand, I don't really use them for anything. They just sit in the hanger and get drunk and party all night. It's annoying, I get back from a mining trip and the slaves are playing loud Minmat music and howling in the hanger. I got a citation for noise pollution. Now if someone had this problem and they freed their slaves, it would be reason 3: Nuisence/no use.

Me? I just paid the citation and had ITX-9 intimidate them with his "I will blast you miserable fleshbags" speech. They got the message.

Those are about all the reasons I can think of right now. However I'm sure the local peanut gallery (Minmat's) have more.

Pulgor
Posted - 2005.04.16 06:58:00 - [6]
 

Originally by: Vera Liskrii
If you ate with your feet too much, would you get athlete's face?


What!?

No wait... again, what?

Well I tried eating with my feat once, but it didn't work out so well. Food got everywhere and they threatened to ban me from the "Holy Chicken" I was eating at. I informed them that I was a commodore in the Ammatar Military and I'll eat my chicken how I want to. I think I said something like, "Look toilet brush, I'll eat your crappy chicken however I want too because I'm an important Commodore in the Ammatar Military. Now show some respect or else I'll turn you into a blaster target!". They informed me they were a resturant owner and they'd ban anyone they want to. It's a bit foggy after that but I think they had a big brutor bouncer-slave called "Bruno" beat me up and toss me out. Unfortunately I actually hadn't formed AMFED at the time and I wasn't a commodore, so it was all a lie and I had to settle for writing a letter:

"Dear Holy Chicken - Tanoo branch office.

I was recently eating at your establishment when the owner of the store informed me I was not allowed to eat with my feet. Now I think I should beable to eat however I want to and informed him of this very politely.

Unfortunately the owner took exception and had a bouncer named 'Bruno' give me a free cryropractic session and then I tried to fain unconciousness. However this ploy was unsuccessful as the owner used a plunger to do a recusitization on my face.

I now have 3 broken ribs, numerous bruises, broken sunglasses, and what smells like 'fecal matter' on my face.

The owner told me never to come back. However I really like your chicken. Can you please arrange something whereby I could get it delievered or something? I think that would be great! Or maybe talk to the owner and see if he can let me back in, I think I've recieved enough punishment.

Still think your food is the best,
-- Pulgor."

So if fecal matter on the face is what is referred to as athlete's face, then yes, I have had it. It's not very good, that smell dosn't wash out you know!

Pulgor
Posted - 2005.04.16 07:03:00 - [7]
 

Originally by: Fasute Sethnakte
How much Minmatar tribalism influences the Ammatar culture, and how does it?


Okay, how much tribalism? Very little actually. Ammatar maintains a very ridgid culture. We do not allow many of the old ways to resurface again. It is against the law to practice certain Minmat customs.

Having said that the consulate does keep a library of old books that we used to have should they ever be needed. However this library is very difficult to gain access too and also it generally is just a reminder of what we left behind and why we cannot go back to those old ways.

Now as for how Minmat tribalism infects Ammatar culture? Well slaves mostly. Many slaves practice Minmat tribal customs on their off time, and sometimes even in public places. It generally causes quite a stir when it happens. It gets all over the FEDNET and people take a real interest in it. If only because it's so different. There are steps that the Consulate takes to ensure this does not happen to often and luckily it generally only happens once a year or less.

Brute Helmet
Minmatar
Posted - 2005.04.16 13:22:00 - [8]
 

How big can the Ego of an Ammatar get before it blows up in his face ?

Nero Scuro
Jejaikaro Corporation
Posted - 2005.04.16 17:35:00 - [9]
 

Edited by: Nero Scuro on 16/04/2005 17:35:41
Given that the Ammatar have sold their souls and their own brothers and sisters into slavery to the Amarr, and given that the entire Ammatar population has not the courage, intelligence or honour between themselves to fill a grape pip, my question is - what makes a better pie, apple or raspberry?

Pulgor
Posted - 2005.04.16 18:28:00 - [10]
 

Originally by: Brute Helmet
How big can the Ego of an Ammatar get before it blows up in his face ?


I'm not too sure, I would think if it blew up in my face I wouldn't beable to tell you how big it has gotten, because I'd be in a state doctors refer to as "Dead". Now, having cleared that up. The only time that has even come close to happening was when I had to give a speech at the opening of Ammatar Entertainmen Inc's Everlasting Worlds and Empires movie. However I think I said it was a pile of crap and should be burned lest it cause an outbreak of pink-eye on the station.

The outrage was horrendous but iwth the help of ITX-9 and his blasters we made it out ok. Unfortunately for the question, nothing exploded in my face, however many other people's faces exploded. So the answer would be, as big as it takes to have some strage robot blast you.

Pulgor
Posted - 2005.04.16 18:45:00 - [11]
 

Originally by: Nero Scuro
Edited by: Nero Scuro on 16/04/2005 17:35:41
Given that the Ammatar have sold their souls and their own brothers and sisters into slavery to the Amarr, and given that the entire Ammatar population has not the courage, intelligence or honour between themselves to fill a grape pip, my question is - what makes a better pie, apple or raspberry?


Apple.

The raspberries here have some kind of infectious compound in them that causes headache, feaver and "Weak knees." These factors make eating said raspberries impossible. We believe this to have spread when a vitoc hauler exploded Tanoo and the wreckage mixed with a quafe hauler that also exploded. It seems it then spread through ships to other systems. Only raspberries are affected.

Now we did try importing them once but this didn't work out so well as the importers were Minmat's and they decided it would be funny to give us our own tainted raspberries. It was a day that shall live in infamy forever, the great raspberry disaster of '27. There we were, all ready to once again eat delicious raspberry pie. When disaster struck, hostpitals were overflowing with people who had "The runs". It turns out the berries the Minmat's picked were from a planet not infected by the compound. However after they realized this they replaced our pwnsauce with a laxitive! Those clever Minmat's.... I was on the toilet for like... a week. We'll get them back one day though, I'm sure.

Ikvar
A Blue Goat
Posted - 2005.04.17 00:50:00 - [12]
 

*Stifles laughter*

Ok, here's a question that's been bugging me:

Why do I like collecting corpses so much? Why do I find them so fun? Why do I like playing with them? Can I have yours?

Pulgor
Posted - 2005.04.17 01:23:00 - [13]
 

Originally by: Ikvar
*Stifles laughter*

Ok, here's a question that's been bugging me:

Why do I like collecting corpses so much? Why do I find them so fun? Why do I like playing with them? Can I have yours?


Alright buddy, what you do with those corpses in your own time is nothing I want to know about.

Now I'm no fancy doctor but I think you have a corpse fetish. I recommend you seek a psychitrist for this problem post-haste as it seems like it could be rather embarissing. I wanted to make sure my diagnosis was correct. Because as I said before, I'm no fancy doctor. Therefore I asked ITX-9 as well, he downloaded a medical journal into his memory:

me: "ITX-9, this guy likes doing.... things with corpses. Any idea why that is?"

ITX-9: "Master, I believe the problem this meatsack is experianceing is related to something called 'corseronomy.'"

Me: "What's that?"

ITX-9: "It's a medical science master. It indicates he needs to be blasted. Simply have him come here and I shall remedy the problem."

So I think you shouldn't come here any time soon as ITX-9 is polishing his blasters which is never a good sign.

Oh, and NO, You cannot have my body. I'm using it at the moment however if I am ever seperated from it, you'll be the first to know.

Ikvar
A Blue Goat
Posted - 2005.04.17 03:21:00 - [14]
 

I think I already killed and collected the psychitrist. Ah well Pulgor... I'll get you... ehrehhehehrhrereher erh.

Pulgor
Posted - 2005.04.17 04:42:00 - [15]
 

Originally by: Ikvar
I think I already killed and collected the psychitrist. Ah well Pulgor... I'll get you... ehrehhehehrhrereher erh.


I bet people are scared of you. Like you go into a channel and go "Hey guys!" and they leave. It's because of stuff like this. Now you just leave my modules alone or I'll have to send Wetwork after you. He knows the law like nobody's business..... although I'm not sure how this will help me when you've absconded with my modules.

Beringe
Caldari
Mercurialis Inc.
Posted - 2005.04.17 06:15:00 - [16]
 

I have a question, mr Pulgor. I fear it might seem personal, so I must assure you that it's only an innocent request by a client, who wishes to remain informed...

The question is: "How do Ammatars see their role in the Amarr empire, and what do they want for themselves?"


Pulgor
Posted - 2005.04.17 07:19:00 - [17]
 

Originally by: Beringe
I have a question, mr Pulgor. I fear it might seem personal, so I must assure you that it's only an innocent request by a client, who wishes to remain informed...

The question is: "How do Ammatars see their role in the Amarr empire, and what do they want for themselves?"




That's not a personal question at all. A personal question is more like:

Dear Pulgor: What color boxershorts do you wear?

Now anyways, as for how Ammatar's view their role in the Amarr Empire. They are simply mentors, no more. We don't do anything for them, they are more like the next door neighbors whom are more experianced then we are in the ways of faith. Sometimes they'll step in and put things on the right track. However we mostly do our own thing in Ammatar space.

What do we want for our selves? Well aside from the standard money/wealth/power we want to advance the Ammatar state. Bolster our resources and expand our presence so that we can work towards the governor's wishes, whatever they may be, while living our own lives in peace and harmony.

Vera Liskrii
Amarr
Posted - 2005.04.17 08:28:00 - [18]
 

Dear Pulgor, what color boxershorts do you wear?

Pulgor
Posted - 2005.04.17 09:42:00 - [19]
 

Originally by: Vera Liskrii
Dear Pulgor, what color boxershorts do you wear?


Okay, now this is where I draw the line. If you want to know you'll just have to come over and find out. Bring some Khanid whine on your way!

Amataras
Minmatar
The Legion of Spoon
Curatores Veritatis Alliance
Posted - 2005.04.17 12:08:00 - [20]
 

Dear Pulgor, What is your view on the gallente election and do you enjoy watching them all squabble on the Gallente's FedNet Parliament Channel?


Ikvar
A Blue Goat
Posted - 2005.04.17 19:09:00 - [21]
 

Ooh this is fun.

Let's try another one. Yesterday I destroyed a Raven, an Iteron 5 and a Bestower. The Raven took 36 Torpedos to destroy, the haulers both took 2 to destroy. The torpedos came to an average market value in my region of 20,800 ISK.

My question is: How many newly qualified pod pilots does it take to load a 1400MM Scout Artillery cannon with EMP ammo?

Pulgor
Posted - 2005.04.17 22:12:00 - [22]
 

Originally by: Amataras
Dear Pulgor, What is your view on the gallente election and do you enjoy watching them all squabble on the Gallente's FedNet Parliament Channel?




For my views on that, I'll quote a Pulgor Solutions answer:

"None of the candidates.

This also includes Kaleigh Doyle. None of them have any idea what it's like to be in a real war. There I was behind enemy lines! It was the devils birthday in Pator and I was patching holes the size of TomB's ego in my apocalypse while hopped up on nerve sticks! "

As for enjoying them squable, on yes! They can just go on for hours can't they! I love it, ITX-9 enjoys it too, although I think he imagines blasting them.

Pulgor
Posted - 2005.04.17 22:18:00 - [23]
 

Originally by: Ikvar
Ooh this is fun.

Let's try another one. Yesterday I destroyed a Raven, an Iteron 5 and a Bestower. The Raven took 36 Torpedos to destroy, the haulers both took 2 to destroy. The torpedos came to an average market value in my region of 20,800 ISK.

My question is: How many newly qualified pod pilots does it take to load a 1400MM Scout Artillery cannon with EMP ammo?


The answer is obvious.

It would take 3 pilots fresh out of capsule school to do that.

1 to train learning skills until he can identify which type of ammo is which.

1 to train up gunnery skills so he can manually load the ammo

1 to go to the EVE Q&A forums and gripe that older players wouldn't have to train skills to learn this task.

Vera Liskrii
Amarr
Posted - 2005.04.17 22:38:00 - [24]
 

Dear Pulgor, what colour boxershorts does ITX-9 wear?

Pulgor
Posted - 2005.04.17 23:18:00 - [25]
 

Originally by: Vera Liskrii
Dear Pulgor, what colour boxershorts does ITX-9 wear?


Why arn't you here with that Khanid wine yet!? That's what I want to knowRazz

Anyways, ITX-9 dosn't have boxer shorts. He's a robot, he's got nothing down there to cover up. Although one time he did "Go Gallente" on me and started wearing tropical shirts and stuff. It was weird, I think his programming got infected by a virus. After a reset he was fine... or atleast as fine as he could be.


Ikvar
A Blue Goat
Posted - 2005.04.17 23:23:00 - [26]
 

I love this show...

Dear Pulgor:

Why?

Answer that one, answer man!

Pulgor
Posted - 2005.04.17 23:40:00 - [27]
 

Originally by: Ikvar
I love this show...

Dear Pulgor:

Why?

Answer that one, answer man!


Why? Ahh so many reasons so little time.

Why are we here? What is our purpose? The ultimate in spiritual questioning. I believe we are here to serve god and the governor. However everyone has their own answer. ITX-9 tells me that we're here so he can blast us all. He also said he will find immense pleasure when he does it. That robot disterbs me sometimes.

Wetwork tells me we're here so he can turn us into "Legal cannonfodder.' I'm not sure what exactly that means, but I do know that it's most likly not good for me. So see, everyone has their own answer.

I assume you're here to kill us, considering your fetish with corpses.

Kyle Caldrel
Caldari Provisions
Posted - 2005.04.18 00:26:00 - [28]
 

Why the shades?

Ikvar
A Blue Goat
Posted - 2005.04.18 03:29:00 - [29]
 

Originally by: Pulgor


I assume you're here to kill us, considering your fetish with corpses.


Well maybe not you, you're rather amusing. How much can I buy you for, who do I send the ISK to and how fond of your eyes are you? Twisted Evil

Specops
Celestial Horizon Corp.
Valainaloce
Posted - 2005.04.18 04:06:00 - [30]
 

Dear Pulgor, Gallante or Minmatar?


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