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blankseplocked [Press Release] The Mercenary Coalition
 
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Cabadrin
Caldari
Sharks With Frickin' Laser Beams
Posted - 2005.04.01 05:25:00 - [1]
 

The Mercenary Coalition is disbanding, due to internal issues. Sharks With Frickin' Laser Beams (FRICK) and Body Count Incorporated (BDCI) Are retiring. Their corps are going into stasis.

North Star Networks and The Corporation will be merging together into the Northern Corporation Network. Their focus will be on production of tech II materials.

I am sorry it had to end this way, but we've all admitted that we simply can't go on any more, we've had enough. Congratulations carebears, you win.

Cabadrin
Caldari
Sharks With Frickin' Laser Beams
Posted - 2005.04.01 05:26:00 - [2]
 

Edited by: Cabadrin on 01/04/2005 05:27:18
So it is signed, this April 1, 2005.

Leosian
Caldari
Independent Fleet
O X I D E
Posted - 2005.04.01 05:30:00 - [3]
 

ok, I'm the first in line to pod Cabadrin

Seleene
Minmatar
Body Count Inc.
Pandemic Legion
Posted - 2005.04.01 05:56:00 - [4]
 

Edited by: Seleene on 01/04/2005 06:12:15

/emote signed.

What prompted this? Well, last night during a late night strategy session on the next phase of the XETIC Campaign, the newly confirmed Reverend Farjung [FRICK] gave a sermon on the evils of war that moved the assembled pilots to tears. The Reverend was quoted as saying,

"It dawned on me when I busted that last XETIC safe spot and watched my fellow pilots swoop in on the defenseless ships like demons from HELL! Are we proud of what we do? Are we?!"

It's my understanding that the majority of FRICK have given up their heathen ways, burned their panty collections and will be following the Reverend on some kind of quest or mission or something.

BDCI is selling off all of its considerable assets to fund the "Battleship Reimbursement Program". If you are in Force of Evil or XETIC and have lost a battleship to the MC, please email [email protected] Please detail the horrific circumstances of your loss and we will handle your petitions on a case by case basis.

Latex Mistress will also use funds from our liquidation sale to begin teaching the "PvPer Recovery Course". Many former pilots will benefit from her stern yet exciting method of instruction on how to find other ways to channel all of that aggressive energy.

As for me, I think this is all insane and will be putting in an application with Celestial Horizon Corp. Twisted Evil

Latex Mistress
Minmatar
Body Count Inc.
Mercenary Coalition
Posted - 2005.04.01 06:23:00 - [5]
 

Edited by: Latex Mistress on 01/04/2005 07:43:02
/emote c r a c k s whip

I'm a very stern Mistress! Twisted Evil


EDIT: dumbest word filter I've ever seen...

Foyle
Caldari
Phantom Squad
Atlas.
Posted - 2005.04.01 06:27:00 - [6]
 

Me thinks; this all has to do with Seleene’s inability to share

Viceroy
Caldari
Guiding Hand Social Club
Dystopia Alliance
Posted - 2005.04.01 06:42:00 - [7]
 

This unexpected development has left environmentalists in shock, as XETIC fleets have decended on the unsuspecting Veldspar in Yulai knowing that the MC would not be there to defend it.

One disgruntled environmentalist said "Pineapple pineapple bananna" in protest of the MC.

Further developments will be broadcasted after XETIC stops trying to mine our TV antenna that is shaped as an arkonor roid.

(PS: Laughing)

Farjung
Gallente
TAOSP
Posted - 2005.04.01 07:04:00 - [8]
 

On this momentous day, there is only one thing left to say: moin.

meowcat
Gallente
Aliastra
Posted - 2005.04.01 07:30:00 - [9]
 

moin

Minerva IV
Caldari
Sharks With Frickin' Laser Beams
Posted - 2005.04.01 07:40:00 - [10]
 

Edited by: Minerva IV on 01/04/2005 08:17:46
It is a very sad day but i have suspended traing for war and started to train for one of those large mining barges - im just hoping they mine as well as they explode.

Do you think i will still be able to get Haikus for ransoms from the roids?

/me goes pestering latex for a place on her PvPer Recovery Course

Trooper B99
Caldari
Body Count Inc.
Against ALL Authorities
Posted - 2005.04.01 08:31:00 - [11]
 

Bah! **** this. No ******* kills anywhere. Now they ****** disband???!?! I'm going back to ******* SUPRM, least their ****ty nubs like Skapegoat don't ****** flame as much as those ****tards Xetic do all the ******* time in every ****kissing thread ever! No, **** it, I'm joining ******* Shinra to be with the manly Enslaver and his **** buddy Anue.

And i'd just like to take this one oppertunity to say OMFG XETIC SUCK MONKEY ****NUTS!

Especially CLS and those other ****nubs in DDC they never fight! omfg!!111!!! SS FELLAS! FFS WTF OMGFGBBQ!!11one!!1eleven It was like 1 to 12 and drax's reaper still would have won!!! AdN!!!! CYv0K EaTs kiTTens!!! RaW!!!! WITh BBQ SaUce!!!

WE PWNED YOU SOOOOOO BAD IT HURT SELEENE'S EYES!

ekekeekekekekekekek

Ah, I feel better now. Where's ma pills.

Artharas
Caldari
Arth Inc
Posted - 2005.04.01 08:39:00 - [12]
 

Edited by: Artharas on 01/04/2005 08:40:25
VELDSPAR HERE I COME! ughugh
btw happy 1st april guys Laughing

Drogon
Minmatar
New Eden Yacht Club
Posted - 2005.04.01 08:42:00 - [13]
 

Laughing

Shin Ra
Minmatar
Sebiestor Tribe
Posted - 2005.04.01 08:59:00 - [14]
 

Can I have your super soakers?

Seleene
Minmatar
Body Count Inc.
Pandemic Legion
Posted - 2005.04.01 09:01:00 - [15]
 

Edited by: Seleene on 01/04/2005 09:02:15

This thread was worth it if only to see Trooper's post. Laughing

EDIT - The part about Cyvok eating kittens is true. We swapped recipes once.

The Clash
Caldari
Zor Industries
Posted - 2005.04.01 09:04:00 - [16]
 

as CEO of Retirement corp i will accept any ex-MC pilots who will retreat from the Coalition to give them a final rest place with stations available who are adjusted for those who suffer cevere injuries and require wheelchairs to move around .


Xiao KA
Caldari
FinFleet
IT Alliance
Posted - 2005.04.01 09:04:00 - [17]
 

hmmm yeah right.. *cough* 1st of April *cough* Laughing

Swift Karrde
Minmatar
Sebiestor Tribe
Posted - 2005.04.01 09:04:00 - [18]
 

goodie, i was getting tired of dying to Xetic all the time Embarassed tech2 materials sounds jummy Twisted Evil good thing all the training time for the barges and astrology skill was worth it in the end ugh

moin

Velsharoon
Gallente
Arcane Velshologies
Posted - 2005.04.01 12:19:00 - [19]
 

I mised april fools as I just woke up. Ah well.

moin

and I gave my super soaker to xetic, cos lets face it they need it YARRRR!!

Danks
Caldari
Fat Angry Toe Tappin Inbreds
Posted - 2005.04.01 14:23:00 - [20]
 

In addition, the words of Reverend Farjung have convinced me to quit drinking and smoking pot. From this day forward, I will be a clean and sober miner.


Leosian
Caldari
Independent Fleet
O X I D E
Posted - 2005.04.01 15:01:00 - [21]
 

Originally by: Danks
In addition, the words of Reverend Farjung have convinced me to quit drinking and smoking pot. From this day forward, I will be a clean and sober miner.




aw hell....

Krapz
Minmatar
Sloppy Seconds
Posted - 2005.04.01 15:04:00 - [22]
 

Originally by: Trooper B99
Bah! **** this. No ******* kills anywhere. Now they ****** disband???!?! I'm going back to ******* SUPRM, least their ****ty nubs like Skapegoat don't ****** flame as much as those ****tards Xetic do all the ******* time in every ****kissing thread ever! No, **** it, I'm joining ******* Shinra to be with the manly Enslaver and his **** buddy Anue.

And i'd just like to take this one oppertunity to say OMFG XETIC SUCK MONKEY ****NUTS!

Especially CLS and those other ****nubs in DDC they never fight! omfg!!111!!! SS FELLAS! FFS WTF OMGFGBBQ!!11one!!1eleven It was like 1 to 12 and drax's reaper still would have won!!! AdN!!!! CYv0K EaTs kiTTens!!! RaW!!!! WITh BBQ SaUce!!!

WE PWNED YOU SOOOOOO BAD IT HURT SELEENE'S EYES!

ekekeekekekekekekek

Ah, I feel better now. Where's ma pills.


Thx Trooper, that made my morning ;) lol

Draximus Cane
Minmatar
Infestation.
The Church.
Posted - 2005.04.01 18:29:00 - [23]
 

My reaper always wins V's Xetic, its the uber

Minerva IV
Caldari
Sharks With Frickin' Laser Beams
Posted - 2005.04.02 00:47:00 - [24]
 

Originally by: Danks
In addition, the words of Reverend Farjung have convinced me to quit drinking and smoking pot. From this day forward, I will be a clean and sober miner.




This has to be the funniest thing i read in a while!

Lucian Alucard
Caldari
Black Vice Industries
Posted - 2005.04.02 02:11:00 - [25]
 

with this I would like to start a bidding war on Cabaddrin and Leosian, I am returning to the game within a few days and I need a set of pool boys.

Spinal
Minmatar
Sebiestor Tribe
Posted - 2005.04.02 08:59:00 - [26]
 

Erm, this is a late april fools joke???

oh well Contact Armoured Asassins if your looking for a warm home :P with lots of killing

Gronsak
Amarr
0utbreak
Outbreak.
Posted - 2005.04.02 11:14:00 - [27]
 

i knew it!!!!!!!!!!

Where´s my cat?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?Exclamation

munchy
Amarr
Alcatraz Inc.
Tactical Narcotics Team
Posted - 2005.04.02 12:34:00 - [28]
 

so ends one of the most efficeint killing machines ive ever seen, good luck guys.

Merlinar
Gallente
The Scope
Posted - 2005.04.02 13:31:00 - [29]
 

Look at the date the post was done.. and warm up your brains... think you´ll come to a decent conclusion ;)

hired goon
Caldari
Legio Prima Victrix
Imperius Legio Victrix
Posted - 2005.04.03 14:24:00 - [30]
 

Dammit, I've only just made this sig!


 

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