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blankseplocked 100 Trillion ISK Loan [Collateral Avaliable]
 
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Neyix
Posted - 2011.09.01 12:29:00 - [1]
 

Edited by: Neyix on 02/09/2011 10:28:50
Edited by: Neyix on 02/09/2011 10:14:45

Good day ladies and gentlemen. I am in requirement of some 'funds', so to speak, so that I may purchase an army and force a Coup d'état in Jita to become the supreme ruler and commander of all her stations.

Overview
Wanted: 100,000,000,000,000.00 ISK
Interest Rate: 25%
Collateralized: Yes

For those who have no wish to directly contribute but would like to do so indirectly, The Eve Revolutionaries [EvRev] corporation is hiring supporters to demonstrate to those here and here that we cannot be oppressed! With a generous tax rate of 5% you can fund the revolution while you play! (Warning: Preferable to use an alt (Like I do) to protect ones self!] Decorations will be handed out when the funds are raised to all revolutionaries!

FAQ

1. What is the collateral?
For collateral I am not only offering the soul of me and my wife (Who as of yet, is not consenting to soul extraction. But I shall not fail in obtaining it.) but the souls of my allies who have graciously offered their clones in sacrifice for the greater good. [After depositing your money, your souls will arrive in 28 days. Whose soul it is is decided randomly and thus we cannot guarantee the soul will be of a standard that you may require.]

2. How will you pay the interest?
Interest will be paid in one of two ways, by your choice. You may either be paid (long term) by simply the money we will raise from the spoils of war and/or tax income from the newly obtained stations. Or you may wish to be paid with the souls of the counter-revolutionaries who will be gloriously conquered in battle.

Pi. How are you going to spend this 100 Trillion?
The 100 trillion will be spent in a multitude of ways, as follows:
25bn: Corporation funding
25bn: Building an gigantic base in Deepari
50bn: Monocles for all elite soldiers
100bn: Suicide bombers to weaken the defences
100bn: Post revolution building funds.
200bn: Hiring 1 day old mercenaries to confuse and bewilder.
500bn: Main (Elite) army to clean up after the bombers and rookies.
I am aware there is a 999 Trillion ISK gap in the plan, that is explained later on in the threads. If anything, it is to prevent our enemies from acquiring Intel that may be used to counter the revolution.


3. How much can I loan you?
Naturally, no one person can fill the entire requirement. Thus, we ask for a little or as much as you can give. Your ships and souls, also, will be saved in the final battle should you donate to the cause.

4. Isn't this just a bad scam?
Of course not. If this was a scam I would surly ask for a more reasonable sum of money would I not? ¬¬

The Plan
1. Get Money
2. Spend Money
3. ???
4. Jita Revolution

Risks
1. The revolution could be quashed.

Minimum investment: 1 ISK


Giev Misstress
Posted - 2011.09.01 12:33:00 - [2]
 

Put me down for 20 isk.

Chevalleis
The Legendary Conquest
Posted - 2011.09.01 12:42:00 - [3]
 

Are you willing to undergo an audit and/or examination of the souls offered as collateral?

Neyix
Posted - 2011.09.01 12:48:00 - [4]
 

Edited by: Neyix on 01/09/2011 12:48:42
Originally by: Giev Misstress
Put me down for 20 isk.

Many thanks, you shall be remembered when the day come

Originally by: Chevalleis
Are you willing to undergo an audit and/or examination of the souls offered as collateral?

Due to the nature of soul extraction (More accurately, forced sacrifice and soul theft) souls are not immediately available for examination. However we can guarantee they are all of high quality and will be available to be swapped for another should you be disappointed with the one that you recive. Furthermore, if you find none of the offered souls to be of a standard that you are happy with we would be more happy to refund your donation.

Kara Books
Posted - 2011.09.01 13:01:00 - [5]
 

Is it the army itself that invests?

Neyix
Posted - 2011.09.01 13:09:00 - [6]
 

Originally by: Kara Books
Is it the army itself that invests?

All investors can call themselves part of the movement and so become combatants (Of which invested money will go towards helping - building or purchasing ships to use and so on). Although non-combatants are more then welcome to invest to help the cause. An added benefit will be that all investors will be fore-warned of the attack as not to be caught up in the revolution, should they not wish to fight and instead vacate the area.

Jaxx McCoy
Posted - 2011.09.01 13:28:00 - [7]
 

I will donate 1 rifter hull to the cause, to be used and flown during the revolution. Who should I contract it to?

Neyix
Posted - 2011.09.01 13:33:00 - [8]
 

Originally by: Jaxx McCoy
I will donate 1 rifter hull to the cause, to be used and flown during the revolution. Who should I contract it to?


To Neyix, as we're trying to keep the current members of the revolution as secret as possible to prevent anti-revolutionaries targeting them before the day. Your (Refundable) soul will arrive within 28 days and will be extracted from one of our elite members.

Elise DarkStar
Posted - 2011.09.01 14:11:00 - [9]
 

This is really clever and humorous.

Chevalleis
The Legendary Conquest
Posted - 2011.09.01 14:13:00 - [10]
 

Originally by: Elise DarkStar
This is really clever and humorous.

There is no sarcasm in this post.

Kei Darker
Posted - 2011.09.01 15:15:00 - [11]
 

Originally by: Neyix
Pi. How are you going to spend this 100 Trillion?
The 100 trillion will be spent in a multitude of ways, as follows:
25bn: Corporation funding
25bn: Building an gigantic base in Deepari
50bn: Monocles for all elite soldiers
100bn: Suicide bombers to weaken the defences
100bn: Post revolution building funds.
200bn: Hiring 1 day old mercenaries to confuse and bewilder.
500bn: Main (Elite) army to clean up after the bombers and rookies.



What will you do with the other 999 trillion ISK?

Neyix
Posted - 2011.09.01 15:28:00 - [12]
 

Originally by: Kei Darker
Originally by: Neyix
Pi. How are you going to spend this 100 Trillion?
The 100 trillion will be spent in a multitude of ways, as follows:
25bn: Corporation funding
25bn: Building an gigantic base in Deepari
50bn: Monocles for all elite soldiers
100bn: Suicide bombers to weaken the defences
100bn: Post revolution building funds.
200bn: Hiring 1 day old mercenaries to confuse and bewilder.
500bn: Main (Elite) army to clean up after the bombers and rookies.


What will you do with the other 999 trillion ISK?


Touché! Well, the other 999 trillion not only acts as a buffer, so to speak, for over spending. Which will likely occur as hiring alliances does not come cheap, as I am sure you are aware - and there will no doubt be hidden costs and bribes to pay. But also serves to provide additional foundations to our revolutionary ideology - for the above was the cost we could expect to have to pay given a perfect revolution, but things enviable are likely to go wrong.

Furthermore, as ideas from other new revolutionaries sweep in, and wages are paid alongside other general expenditure, we can expect spending to increase exponentially.

Naturally, all the money that is not used is returned to the debtor with interest regardless.

Akita T
Caldari Navy Volunteer Task Force
Posted - 2011.09.01 15:53:00 - [13]
 

Need 3rd party to confirm receipt of soul before handing over investment funds Twisted Evil

Chevalleis
The Legendary Conquest
Posted - 2011.09.01 16:00:00 - [14]
 

I believe Chribba has experience on this kind of thing. Soul trading is how he got his first Covetor!

Gatan Hahran
Posted - 2011.09.01 16:39:00 - [15]
 

need pictures of wife to judge on soul value

Neyix
Posted - 2011.09.01 20:01:00 - [16]
 

Originally by: Akita T
Need 3rd party to confirm receipt of soul before handing over investment funds

That can be arranged.

Originally by: Gatan Hahran
need pictures of wife to judge on soul value

If i'm honest, her soul is worth perhaps 10,000 ISK at best. However, as I have a wish to get rid of her as quickly as possible (As I believe she may be a spy) I'm more then willing to accept 5,000 ISK for such.

Adunh Slavy
Ammatar Trade Syndicate
Posted - 2011.09.01 22:28:00 - [17]
 

I will loan you 100 Trillion Adunh-ISK. This is ISK I print and I alone can print, so you do not have to worry about it being corrupted by others. You may then trade this additional currency with others at your discretion.

Loan terms are only 4% a month. There is a 5% of the principle penalty added to the principle for late payments. Furthermore, the only currency in which you may repay the loan is in Adunh-ISK.

Other players who wish to become banks for this currency may contact me directly at [email protected]


Kethas Protagonist
Protagonist Ventures
Posted - 2011.09.02 00:58:00 - [18]
 

Originally by: Kei Darker
Originally by: Neyix
Pi. How are you going to spend this 100 Trillion?
The 100 trillion will be spent in a multitude of ways, as follows:
25bn: Corporation funding
25bn: Building an gigantic base in Deepari
50bn: Monocles for all elite soldiers
100bn: Suicide bombers to weaken the defences
100bn: Post revolution building funds.
200bn: Hiring 1 day old mercenaries to confuse and bewilder.
500bn: Main (Elite) army to clean up after the bombers and rookies.



What will you do with the other 999 trillion ISK?


I believe I have detected an error in your subtraction, sir.

*pokes glasses back up bridge of nose*

Kei Darker
Posted - 2011.09.02 02:27:00 - [19]
 

Originally by: Kethas Protagonist
Originally by: Kei Darker
Originally by: Neyix
Pi. How are you going to spend this 100 Trillion?
The 100 trillion will be spent in a multitude of ways, as follows:
25bn: Corporation funding
25bn: Building an gigantic base in Deepari
50bn: Monocles for all elite soldiers
100bn: Suicide bombers to weaken the defences
100bn: Post revolution building funds.
200bn: Hiring 1 day old mercenaries to confuse and bewilder.
500bn: Main (Elite) army to clean up after the bombers and rookies.



What will you do with the other 999 trillion ISK?


I believe I have detected an error in your subtraction, sir.

*pokes glasses back up bridge of nose*


Hahaha. I think I sees it nao! Boy, these big numbers are fun to deal with.

The Antiquarian
Amarr
Posted - 2011.09.02 03:18:00 - [20]
 

Originally by: Gatan Hahran
need pictures of wife to judge on soul value


LOL

Jaxx McCoy
Posted - 2011.09.02 05:27:00 - [21]
 

Contract is up for 3 days. 1 Rifter hull for 0.00 ISK. Cool

Neyix
Posted - 2011.09.02 09:36:00 - [22]
 

Originally by: Kei Darker
Originally by: Kethas Protagonist
Originally by: Kei Darker
Originally by: Neyix
Pi. How are you going to spend this 100 Trillion?
The 100 trillion will be spent in a multitude of ways, as follows:
25bn: Corporation funding
25bn: Building an gigantic base in Deepari
50bn: Monocles for all elite soldiers
100bn: Suicide bombers to weaken the defences
100bn: Post revolution building funds.
200bn: Hiring 1 day old mercenaries to confuse and bewilder.
500bn: Main (Elite) army to clean up after the bombers and rookies.



What will you do with the other 999 trillion ISK?


I believe I have detected an error in your subtraction, sir.

*pokes glasses back up bridge of nose*


Hahaha. I think I sees it nao! Boy, these big numbers are fun to deal with.


Not sure what's worse, the fact I made that mistake or that I have qualifications that say I shouldn't make those mistakes Embarassed *Cough* Maths *Cough*. Nonetheless, I Have now hired five personnel to ensure similar mistakes, and others, are not made during the uprising! We cannot be too careful!

Originally by: Jaxx McCoy
Contract is up for 3 days. 1 Rifter hull for 0.00 ISK.

Confirming that the Rifer (Amongst other assets from anonymous revolutionaries) has been received and undergoing diligent preparation. You soul will be sent within 28 days. Or, if you prefer, you can choose for materiel collateral (Money or assets). We shaln't forget you McCoy! *Saluts*

Jaxx McCoy
Posted - 2011.09.02 09:47:00 - [23]
 

I live in Jita 4-4 so... just try to spare me when the troops roll in! Wink

I also prefer souls in payment over ISK or other assets, thank you!

Neyix
Posted - 2011.09.02 10:12:00 - [24]
 

Originally by: Jaxx McCoy
I live in Jita 4-4 so... just try to spare me when the troops roll in! Wink

I also prefer souls in payment over ISK or other assets, thank you!


It can and will be done!

Speccer
Cossette Moana
Posted - 2011.09.02 10:44:00 - [25]
 

I do not operate out of Jita but, this sounds lucrative. Can you confirm that in the event you expand to Dodixie and/or Rens that I will be spared? In either case I pledge 1000isk.

Neyix
Posted - 2011.09.02 11:03:00 - [26]
 

Originally by: Speccer
I do not operate out of Jita but, this sounds lucrative. Can you confirm that in the event you expand to Dodixie and/or Rens that I will be spared? In either case I pledge 1000isk.


In the event that the revolution does spread, all those who donate or loan funds to the cause, as before, will be spared their lives on the basis that you do not resist. By sending all ISK to the newly formed Eve Revolutionaries corporation I can contact, from there, all decentralized members (Those who fight for the revolution but are not part of the central movement. And so hidden for the most part) and ask them to spare your life when the day comes (Likely by adding you as an excellent contact).

Should you be killed however, we will do our best to make they who did such enemy of the revolution. And thus liable to be executed as soon as possible. Furthermore, we will strive to cover the cost lost assets, capital or business that would no doubt occur in such a scenario.


 

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