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blankseplocked 1st week at Illuminati HQ
 
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Kalle Demos
Amarr
Helix Protocol
Posted - 2011.07.23 10:38:00 - [1]
 

So this was my first week at the HQ, I did sign a NDA so I will have to be vague on plans etc. Overall it has been a very good week, it was nice being in a crowd that didnt blindly follow media for a change.

Anyway my office is based in the butterfly wing, not sure why they call it that, probably to do with the 'butterfly effect', it is situated in the same building as the boss too. Already been in a lot of meetings with the boss this week, on average about 3 a day, didnt expect things to be this hectic but it is nice being in a ambitious environment.

As a strategist my goals are to get things done quick, cheap and efficiently, my boss has zero tolerance for failures but is still a pretty chilled out guy. We were casually talking in his underground triangular bunker about his eye patch, he was telling me about why he has one eye and why he is hidden from the outside world.

Now even though security isnt my area we did discuss in detail about how to get him an additional 500 million followers,.. I mean employees without him ever being detected, I suggested adding a neurotoxin in aircrafts making the chemicals from chem trails cause blindness.

We then discussed bottled water sales and we both agreed that scaring people into drinking bottled water was better for business, the non radioactive isotopes will be removed though, we feel tracking using IPhone's is much easier than uranium.

The conversation got a little heated when money was discussed, I thought it would be in our best interest to have another war, raise taxes and claim all the money through bail outs, but he believes having a war, claiming the oil is easier.

As an environmentalist I urged him to reconsider, especially since taxes will be rising to cover environmental issues, drilling for oil will just brand us as hypocrites.

All in all it was a fun week, will keep you informed next week, next week we will make official deals with Microsoft, Apple, China, Israel and Saudi Arabia but we have told our news networks to talk about something unrelated which means no one will ever find out about the deals.

Oh im also looking for a personal assistant

Solus Starcunning
Posted - 2011.07.23 11:15:00 - [2]
 

I know you signed an NDA but I've wanted to know this question. I have searched on all the conspiracy websites and found nothing, which only serves to fuel my curiosity.

Do they have a cafeteria in the building for employees?

Blane Xero
Amarr
The Firestorm Cartel
Posted - 2011.07.23 12:05:00 - [3]
 

Originally by: Solus Starcunning
I know you signed an NDA but I've wanted to know this question. I have searched on all the conspiracy websites and found nothing, which only serves to fuel my curiosity.

Do they have a cafeteria in the building for employees?
No, the Cafeteria is a separate building.

Blacksquirrel
Posted - 2011.07.23 14:04:00 - [4]
 

Whats the benefits package look like, and how do they treat Fridays...assuming such a day really exists.

Tautut
Amarr
Posted - 2011.07.23 14:42:00 - [5]
 

Do they have 'dress down Friday' at these places?

Kalle Demos
Amarr
Helix Protocol
Posted - 2011.07.23 15:11:00 - [6]
 

Edited by: Kalle Demos on 23/07/2011 15:12:30
I eat my own food but at present there is a open restaurant, where people from outside can come in, we have been trying to persuade the FDA to allow us to use a new version of aspartame which is far more addictive than the regular one, the back door deals are currently are underway though, once things are 'ok' we will open a chain.

As for benefits, thanks to contributions by billionaires, jews and many other ex leaders, we have a 0% interest on credit and 50% off petrol for all employees.

Health wise, we are currently working with health services mass manufacturing vaccines that will cure many diseases and our security team is looking forward to everyone having them.

Our R&D department is amazing though, one of the key reasons to work with us, all the high up members can now have rain free vacations unlike the competition who suffer earthquakes and tornadoes.

If the government wasnt so slow we would be able to distribute our new environmental friendly technology which will in effect allow us to measure energy use (among other things) inside consumers houses.

Ami Hayashi
Caldari
Did Not Read
Posted - 2011.07.23 19:23:00 - [7]
 

I was once like OP but then I really WOKE UP and now I don't listen to anyone else's bull**** and do pretty much anything I like with out worrying all the time Idea

Lithalnas
Amarr
Privateers
Privateer Alliance
Posted - 2011.07.23 21:10:00 - [8]
 

Kalle, this is you boss speaking. What did I say about using company computers for codswallop like this?

And I want those reports on my desk by Monday or so help me I will throw you in the Hudson.

LLoyd Thomson
Posted - 2011.07.24 08:28:00 - [9]
 

Please let your Illuminati overlords know, that I'd personally paint a monocle over each pyramid eye on every one Dollar note which they'd provide for me.

I'd see to it, that each note will be distributed within our society for maximum effect.

Kalle Demos
Amarr
Helix Protocol
Posted - 2011.07.24 08:49:00 - [10]
 

Originally by: LLoyd Thomson
Please let your Illuminati overlords know, that I'd personally paint a monocle over each pyramid eye on every one Dollar note which they'd provide for me.

I'd see to it, that each note will be distributed within our society for maximum effect.


This is actually a very good idea, I will pass this on to the relevant people.

"The eye is mightier than the sword"


 

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