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blankseplocked Top British Warlords since 1066
 
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Herr Wilkus
Posted - 2011.05.28 05:26:00 - [1]
 

Edited by: Herr Wilkus on 28/05/2011 05:39:07
Edited by: Herr Wilkus on 28/05/2011 05:28:14
Educated in the American public school system, we didn't spend a lot of time on British history, outside the Revolutionary War.

Spent some time in the UK, touring battlefields and castles, trying to piece together some of the history of the place. With such a long (and relatively conflicted history), curious as to which Brit stands above the others on military matters.

If you ask an American, you'll probably hear George Patton, Douglas MacArthur, or perhaps Robert E. Lee, south of the Mason-Dixon line.

Ask a French person, and nobody can compare with Napoleon.

What about the UK?

Off the top of my head:

Edward I (Longshanks):
Pros:
Conquered Wales, badass nickname "Hammer of the Scots".
Cons:
Didn't live long enough to conquer Scotland, still in his lead coffin. Homo progeny.

Robert the Bruce:
Pros:
Succeeded where Braveheart failed, survived treacherous Clan politics, gained an independent Scotland.
Cons:
Got owned by leprosy. Won his key battle vs Edward II - the homo King who met his end with red hot pokers up the ass.

Richard III -
Pros:
Warrior king, ambitious. Subject of a Shakespearean play.
Cons:
Went down swinging, surrounded by dead enemies....but he still lost.

Sir Francis Drake:
Pros:
Pirate with a huge bounty on his head. Ravaged the Spanish Main. Outnumbered by the Spanish Armada? No problem! Died rich and respected.

Cons:
Slaver.

Oliver Cromwell:

Pros:
Multiple wrecking shots vs the Royalty in open battle. Had Charles I tried for treason and beheaded. Then for an encore, goes on campaign and crushes the Irish AND the Scots. Irish are still butthurt about it to this day. Never lost a battle. Badass statue in front of Parliament. Became a dictator before it was fashionable, founded a Republic ahead of its time.

Cons:
Never quite figured out how to rule without an Army backing him. Cancelled Christmas. Morality police. Wimpy progeny lead to Charles II waltzing back into power without firing a shot.

Lord Horatio Nelson:

Pro: In the conversation for 'best Admiral ever'. Came through in clutch battles vs Napoleon. The original British 'rock star'. Huge phallic monument (with lions) built in his honor. Died in his prime, while pwning the French/Spanish combined fleet.

Con: Like most rockstars, he was quite the philanderer - treated his wife like crap, to boot.

Bernard Montgomery "Monty"

Pros:
Shot through the lung in WWI, survived. Outlasted the Desert Fox in Africa, won key battles in the darker days of WWII. Not reckless with the lives of his soldiers.

Cons:
Slow and steady sometimes just comes off as 'slow'. Tired of being outshone by his flashier American and German counterparts, proposed a daring operation (Market Garden), and ended up with a disaster.

So, what to the Brits think? Who is the baddest Brit since 1066?Twisted EvilTwisted Evil

Lady Skank
Ban Evasion inc
Posted - 2011.05.28 05:40:00 - [2]
 

I throw in another candidate if people like Montgomery are valid, Captain David Stirling.

He founded the SAS after spending his pre war and early WWII years in various commando outfits, the early SAS where low on equipment and funding yet managed to really poke a stick in the eyes of the Axis powers. He was captured by the Germans on five occasions and managed to escape every time and annoy them a little bit more until he was finally recaptured and sent to Colditz where they finally managed to keep him captured.

Clyde ElectraGlide
Gallente
Center for Advanced Studies
Posted - 2011.05.28 06:07:00 - [3]
 


baltec1
Posted - 2011.05.28 08:27:00 - [4]
 

Henry V

Bested a much larger French army at the Battle of Agincourt in the 100 years war.

Duke of Wellington

Battle of Waterloo where we bested Napoleon for the last time.

Air Chief Marshal Sir H.C.T. "Stuffy" Dowding

The man who put together Britains fighter defences which held back the germans in the Battle of Britain when we stood alone against seemingly impossible odds.

Vogue
Short Bus Pole Dancers
Posted - 2011.05.28 10:55:00 - [5]
 

Edited by: Vogue on 28/05/2011 10:55:41
With war the British are often clumsy with tactics but when we need to be lucky we are. This is true with the Falklands conflict where the US military said we had no chance of winning it but we won. If it went on for another two weeks we would have lost. We were also lucky with the Spanish Armada.

The US has produced a lot of excellent generals. But nowadays they have to deal with conflagrations from the collapse of despotic regimes such as in Iraq, Afghanistan and now Libya.

Wilhelm Riley
Posted - 2011.05.28 12:57:00 - [6]
 

Where's Tony Blair?

Zubenelgenubi
Priory of the Lime
Posted - 2011.05.28 14:49:00 - [7]
 

Eddy III was a bit of a boy also :)

Jno Aubrey
Galactic Patrol
Posted - 2011.05.28 16:10:00 - [8]
 

We musn't forget General James Wolfe, the man who took North America away from the French and also had the luck do die in battle at the height of his career.

For my money I will go with Horatio Nelson, although you may say I am a tad biased Laughing.

Kalle Demos
Amarr
Helix Protocol
Posted - 2011.05.28 16:52:00 - [9]
 

UK wasnt all that great, being on an island it was very difficult AND expensive to conquer us, if we were that elite they wouldnt be a Wales / Scotland / USA / Europe / India / Australia / South Africa :P

I cant really think of any names, war lords dont really turn me on, but Elizabeth I was quite inspiring as she put her work first and not her vagina

Na'Fee'Kew
Posted - 2011.05.28 18:36:00 - [10]
 

Originally by: Kalle Demos
UK wasnt all that great, being on an island it was very difficult AND expensive to conquer us, if we were that elite they wouldnt be a Wales / Scotland / USA / Europe / India / Australia / South Africa :P


Hang on a second, I think you meant if we weren't that elite they (sic) wouldnt be a Wales / Scotland / USA / Europe / India / Australia / South Africa. There would instead be all those same countries but named with the French or Spanish variant.

Triple Entendre
Atrocity.
Posted - 2011.05.28 19:53:00 - [11]
 

Originally by: Herr Wilkus

Sir Francis Drake:
Pros: Pirate with a huge bounty on his head. Ravaged the Spanish Main. Talked his way into being a state-sponsored pirate badass. Outnumbered by the Spanish Armada? No problem! Died rich and respected.
Cons: Slaver.




Fixed. Very Happy

Malcanis
Caldari
Vanishing Point.
The Initiative.
Posted - 2011.05.29 14:57:00 - [12]
 

Arthur Wellesey seems hard to top in the "fighting vs blobs" stakes. He was pwning superior numbers long before anyone give him a european command. (See: Battle of Assaye). Nelson can hardly be far behind. Trafalgar was perhaps the most pivotal single military action until Stalingrad or Midway.

But as long as we're talking about warlords as such, let's have a shout out for Rupert Brooke and Lord Cochrane and Cecil Rhodes. In the finest tradition of british miltary commanders, they were outstandingly audacious, intensely amateur and gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous.

Fun fact: Rhodes never commanded more than 1000 men, but he gained a larger land area for the Empire than all of Napoleons Marshalls combined ever got for France.

Safrina Nodachii
Posted - 2011.05.29 16:49:00 - [13]
 

Richard I of England aka Richard the lionheart

Really, noone?

Tho he was almost french so to say, Cur de Lion.

EnslaverOfMinmatar
Amarr
Posted - 2011.05.29 18:57:00 - [14]
 

George Washington.

Rolare
Amarr
Posted - 2011.05.29 23:14:00 - [15]
 

Edited by: Rolare on 29/05/2011 23:15:16
Duke of Marlborough, don't remember the name exactly but it might be that Wellesley fella mentioned earlier.

Was one of the key-reasons Napoleon didn't *****slap all of Europe, didn't have much love for Frenchmen though :P

I do recall that Lord Nelson was the most important/publicly loved war hero in England, was a poll where the people could vote. Can't give a link since I got that from a history magazine :)

EDIT:
Lord Nelson was blind the last part of the battle of Trafalgar, he still directed the fleet with the help from one of the seamen, that's professionalism for ya.

catinboots
Minmatar
Vintage heavy industries
Posted - 2011.05.30 07:44:00 - [16]
 

Edited by: catinboots on 30/05/2011 07:45:59
Edited by: catinboots on 30/05/2011 07:45:21
is this another we british are the best thread ..?

ok here is a small list of my self

Richard I lionheart ; born in france ; he hated england when he became king, he hated the language hated the food hated the weather and generally prefered staying in france , Engla&nd however provided a nice private in come to finance his crusade
Side nte , there are several pieces of evidence thatsuggest he even hated women and that he had a relation with his halfbrother the king of france

John Churchill Duke of marlborough
One Great and daring Campaign ended in tha battle of blenheim , and so preventing the french kicking out the austrians out of the war of spannish succesion
Fell out of favour and grace after huge british caussialty figures at later battles of Oudenaarde and Malpaquet. Well known for his gouverment funded ^rivate resort palace in the south of England

Arthur welsey Duke of Wellington
Had a great time in Spain where he went up against Napoleons lesser Generals , Bonaparte had took his best marshalls and generals with him first to austria and later to Russia
Later in 1815 had the nearest close thing with his Dutch -anglo army(2/3 where dutch or germans, and not british); because of Frenh mistakes a few days earlier and because his allies ( prussians) where late at the party

And to end here are some french victories over the english
Orleans 1438
100 year war , yep even tho the english had some great victories they eventually lost all their holdings in France
Fontenoy 1749 , a lesson for you english , don t **** off the irish
Yorktown no matter what the american says this is basicly a french it victory , french troops , french siege guns etc etc

This is all for now i will think on some more later




Command 00
Posted - 2011.05.30 11:04:00 - [17]
 

u fergot Mr. Bean

Rolare
Amarr
Posted - 2011.05.30 19:09:00 - [18]
 

Originally by: catinboots
Edited by: catinboots on 30/05/2011 07:45:59
Edited by: catinboots on 30/05/2011 07:45:21
Arthur welsey Duke of Wellington
Had a great time in Spain where he went up against Napoleons lesser Generals , Bonaparte had took his best marshalls and generals with him first to austria and later to Russia
Later in 1815 had the nearest close thing with his Dutch -anglo army(2/3 where dutch or germans, and not british); because of Frenh mistakes a few days earlier and because his allies ( prussians) where late at the party



Uh yeah... that's the fella I meant >,>

Rodj Blake
Amarr
PIE Inc.
Posted - 2011.05.31 12:52:00 - [19]
 

Edited by: Rodj Blake on 31/05/2011 12:54:07

In addition to the names already mentioned, Viscount Slim and Lord Kitchener deserve a mention.

salty Milk
Posted - 2011.05.31 13:56:00 - [20]
 


Mutheer Lelmashaakel
Posted - 2011.05.31 17:18:00 - [21]
 

Originally by: Herr Wilkus


Oliver Cromwell:



You forgot to add the posthumous execution to the cons.
It was nice that his head was finally returned back in '60 though.

Mister Rocknrolla
Posted - 2011.06.01 03:04:00 - [22]
 

Originally by: salty Milk
What is the collective noun for heros?


Actually, it's "heroes" (unless you were referring to sammiches)


Haxfar Portlaind
Posted - 2011.06.01 11:55:00 - [23]
 

Originally by: Clyde ElectraGlide
Jack Churchill

Rashmika Clavain
Gallente
Posted - 2011.06.02 11:37:00 - [24]
 

I am shocked that noone has mentioned Admiral Cunningham, the person who pretty much masterminded the D-Day invasion plans (it's not that well known I guess). A yank was given command on the day as a form of appeasement.

One of the biggest reasons that the Yanks stuggled on the D-Day beaches is that they ignored Cunningham's instructions for the sea bombardment duration and cut it short, or so I read.

Also, and apologies if already mentioned...

General Clive (see Battle of Plassey).
General Wolfe (see Battle of Quebec and France losing out on the Americas).
Lord Wellington (see France losing again).
Nelson (see France losing yet again).

To be honest, if you want to read a good book on the War of Independence, check out "Fusiliers. Eight Years with the Redcoats in America" by Mark Urban.

For me, even as an avowed Englishman, I found it quite the eye opener.

If I was to pick the ultimate English warrior, then I'd go for the Lionheart.

Rodj Blake
Amarr
PIE Inc.
Posted - 2011.06.02 14:55:00 - [25]
 

Here's another one - Henry VII

Vogue
Short Bus Pole Dancers
Posted - 2011.06.07 16:16:00 - [26]
 

Edited by: Vogue on 07/06/2011 16:17:05
David Stirling - Founder of the SAS and the new military doctrine of 'special forces'.

A Scottish aristocrat who was struck by the majesty of the British Empire but lived during the era of post WW2 British decline. The 1950's Suez debacle humiliated the British ruling elite and the country left bankrupt after WW2 was unable to prosecute wars to protect its industrial supply chains in the middle east and elsewhere. Faced with regimes, such as in Egypt, that were anti British the 'Mayfair Set' went a third way to fight them. They secured a massive arms deal with Saudi Arabia. David Stirling helped to secure that deal and assisted the Saudi's in creating their own capable war machine with training. With the quiet approval of the British Establishment David Stirling and his mercenaries fought wars against regimes that were an obstacle to British interests in the middle east, Africa and elsewhere.

David Stirling and her mercenaries returned home in the 1970's and found the country to be a hollow vassal of its former glories teetering on the edge of total collapse. David Stirling and others of the Mayfair Set drew up options for a military coup in Britain should order totally collapse.

Watch The Mayfair Set - Who Pays Wins for an astonishing story of buccaneering British power games that often failed because of an outmoded patrician top down view of trying to assert control and order in a world where business grew bigger than politics.


 

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