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Vandle Cascade
Posted - 2010.08.26 18:29:00 - [1]
 

Hey I wanted to start a topic on best pirate jokes or sayings and see what we come up with.
I'll go first.

Im the scurge of the vaginal canal.


BEGIN!

Brusanan
Sardaukar Merc Guild
General Tso's Alliance
Posted - 2010.08.26 18:43:00 - [2]
 

Edited by: Brusanan on 26/08/2010 18:43:28
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8e08V1NRvk

Paknac Queltel
Baden's Army
Posted - 2010.08.26 18:46:00 - [3]
 

What does a pirate do when he's sued?

Go for Yarrbitration!

SFX Bladerunner
Minmatar
Aperture Science inc.
Posted - 2010.08.26 18:47:00 - [4]
 

Edited by: SFX Bladerunner on 26/08/2010 18:47:26
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AzpByR3MvI

Biggest joke everNeutral

omgfreemoniez
Posted - 2010.08.26 19:02:00 - [5]
 

Pirate: Knock knock
Noob: Who's there
Pirate: A pirate
Noob: A pirate who?
Pirate: LOL NOOB CRY MOAR
Noob: What?
Pirate: ROFL YOUR TEARS SUSTAIN ME GB2WOW
Noob: You're weird
Pirate: LOLOLOL DELICIOUS TEARS
Noob: I'm out of here
Pirate: Fapfapfapfapfap

Ran Khanon
Amarr
Swords Horses and Heavy Metal
Posted - 2010.08.26 19:06:00 - [6]
 

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird ****!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

hahahhAHAHA OMG THAT IS SO FUNNY! Rite?

Grace Halibel
Posted - 2010.08.26 19:21:00 - [7]
 

Originally by: omgfreemoniez
Pirate: Knock knock
Noob: Who's there
Pirate: A pirate
Noob: A pirate who?
Pirate: LOL NOOB CRY MOAR
Noob: What?
Pirate: ROFL YOUR TEARS SUSTAIN ME GB2WOW
Noob: You're weird
Pirate: LOLOLOL DELICIOUS TEARS
Noob: I'm out of here
Pirate: Fapfapfapfapfap


ROFL XD
This one wins hand down, thank you so much for posting it XD

kiki mo
Suddenly Ninjas
Posted - 2010.08.26 19:22:00 - [8]
 

Originally by: Ran Khanon
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird ****!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

hahahhAHAHA OMG THAT IS SO FUNNY! Rite?


That joke was a crime; and the punishment was to read it.Razz

Ran Khanon
Amarr
Swords Horses and Heavy Metal
Posted - 2010.08.26 19:35:00 - [9]
 

Originally by: kiki mo
Originally by: Ran Khanon
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird ****!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

hahahhAHAHA OMG THAT IS SO FUNNY! Rite?


That joke was a crime; and the punishment was to read it.Razz


;_; sorry for was rly bad joak

Razzor Death
Bat Country
Goonswarm Federation
Posted - 2010.08.26 19:38:00 - [10]
 


Atomik Harmonik
Posted - 2010.08.26 20:21:00 - [11]
 

ok...my turn for a really bad joke

Q: Why couldn't the 11-year-old get into the pirate movie?

A: It was rated ARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Fat Uncle
Posted - 2010.08.26 20:41:00 - [12]
 

Originally by: omgfreemoniez
Pirate: Knock knock
Noob: Who's there
Pirate: A pirate
Noob: A pirate who?
Pirate: LOL NOOB CRY MOAR
Noob: What?
Pirate: ROFL YOUR TEARS SUSTAIN ME GB2WOW
Noob: You're weird
Pirate: LOLOLOL DELICIOUS TEARS
Noob: I'm out of here
Pirate: Fapfapfapfapfap


Quoting for win

Ichire Dacar
The Scope
Posted - 2010.08.26 20:53:00 - [13]
 

Why are pirates called pirates?

They just ARRRRR!

Spruillo
Gallente
Spruillo Corp
Posted - 2010.08.26 20:57:00 - [14]
 

Originally by: omgfreemoniez
Pirate: Knock knock
Noob: Who's there
Pirate: A pirate
Noob: A pirate who?
Pirate: LOL NOOB CRY MOAR
Noob: What?
Pirate: ROFL YOUR TEARS SUSTAIN ME GB2WOW
Noob: You're weird
Pirate: LOLOLOL DELICIOUS TEARS
Noob: I'm out of here
Pirate: Fapfapfapfapfap


southpark much?

Mytzso
Private Nuisance
Segregati0n
Posted - 2010.08.26 21:49:00 - [15]
 

Originally by: omgfreemoniez
Pirate: Knock knock
Noob: Who's there
Pirate: A pirate
Noob: A pirate who?
Pirate: LOL NOOB CRY MOAR
Noob: What?
Pirate: ROFL YOUR TEARS SUSTAIN ME GB2WOW
Noob: You're weird
Pirate: LOLOLOL DELICIOUS TEARS
Noob: I'm out of here
Pirate: Fapfapfapfapfap

a clear winner

Raiden Kaine
Kaine Innovation
Posted - 2010.08.26 22:12:00 - [16]
 

Originally by: Brusanan
Edited by: Brusanan on 26/08/2010 18:43:28
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8e08V1NRvk


+1

Xearal
Minmatar
SOL Industries
Black Thorne Alliance
Posted - 2010.08.26 22:56:00 - [17]
 

Here's definitely a good one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK2tWVj6lXw

kiki mo
Suddenly Ninjas
Posted - 2010.08.26 23:05:00 - [18]
 

here's definitely a bad one:

Why couldn't the pirate stop thinking about sailing? He had ship for brains.

random movie pirate reference - Steve the pirate in 'Dodgeball'

Corelous Alterrian
Amarr
High Flyers
RED.OverLord
Posted - 2010.08.26 23:16:00 - [19]
 

VETO,


Nuff said.

Twisted EvilLaughingLaughingLaughingTwisted Evil

OneTimeAt BannedSpank
Amarr
Trillionaire High-Rollers Suicidal Bassoon Orkesta
Posted - 2010.08.27 00:02:00 - [20]
 

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to their Captain for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!!

Joe Phoenix
The Commonwealth Federation
Posted - 2010.08.27 01:58:00 - [21]
 

Edited by: Joe Phoenix on 27/08/2010 02:00:04
Does the dirty pirate count?

Ran Khanon get my vote for making me laugh :)

Vandle Cascade
Posted - 2010.08.27 21:28:00 - [22]
 



ok you guys are the best pirates you WTFPWNED the
**** out of this thread with your bad jokes good job guys...

Jawmare
Minmatar
The Python Cartel.
The Defenders of Pen Island
Posted - 2010.08.27 23:42:00 - [23]
 

Your KD ratio :smug:

Tortugan
Internal Anarchy
WE FORM VOLTRON
Posted - 2010.08.28 00:16:00 - [24]
 

Originally by: OneTimeAt BannedSpank
Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to their Captain for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!!


First I was like :/
Then I was like :'|
Then I was like xD

xXThunder StruckXx
Posted - 2010.08.28 01:10:00 - [25]
 

Why are pirates called pirates?



Because theyYYYYYYYYaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrr !!!!

Rolling Eyes

mamolian
Cruoris Seraphim
Posted - 2010.08.28 01:37:00 - [26]
 

Originally by: Vandle Cascade

Im the scourge[sic] of the vaginal canal.


BEGIN!


So your a nasty dose of genital warts then huh? YARRRR!! Remind me to wear a condom if we ever meet bro.

Spruillo
Gallente
Spruillo Corp
Posted - 2010.08.28 03:01:00 - [27]
 


So a pirate stumbles into the bar with a ship's wheel hanging out his pants.

Bartender asks "So uh... Whats with the ship's wheel in your pants?"

Pirate says "AAAAAARGG, It's driving me NUTS!!!!"

Gavin Darklighter
Ministry of War
Posted - 2010.08.28 03:46:00 - [28]
 

A young man is captured by pirates and is persuaded to join the crew rather than walk the plank. After a few weeks at sea the captain speaks to the man and asks him how he is getting on. The man replies that on the whole he is enjoying things - the rum-soaked drinking binges, the plundering, etc - but there was one thing missing.

"What's that?" asks the captain.
"Well, there are no women" replies the man.

"Arrr" says the captain "Follow me!" The man follows the captain to what appears to be a barrel, on top of the barrel stands a coconut with a face drawn on and a few strands of wispy straw for hair. On the barrel is a crude outline of a woman's body and between the legs is a bung hole. "We calls her Carmen," says the captain, "and you may take her as you will". The man explains that he was unlikely to make use of her and goes on his way.

However, as the months go by with no respite, Carmen appears more and more attractive to the young man. Finally he can resist her no longer and the man has his wicked way with Carmen the rum barrel. To his amazement the experience is far more satisfying than he could ever have imagined!

The next day the captain greets him again. "How did you get on with Carmen then, lad?" he asks eagerly. The man replies "Rather better than I thought... actually, it was rather good!"

"Good," says the captain, a great beaming smile splitting his black-bearded face. "It's your turn in the barrel tomorrow!"

Terra Mikael
Horizon Dynamics
Posted - 2010.08.28 12:58:00 - [29]
 

Edited by: Terra Mikael on 28/08/2010 12:59:35
More like a special move, but...

The Pirate:

When you are about to blow your load, take it out and shoot it in one of the girl's eyes. when she gets up to go rinse out her eye, kick her in the shin so she hobbles around yelling AARRRR!


Ran Khanon
Amarr
Swords Horses and Heavy Metal
Posted - 2010.08.28 13:11:00 - [30]
 

Originally by: Terra Mikael
Edited by: Terra Mikael on 28/08/2010 12:59:35
More like a special move, but...

The Pirate:

When you are about to blow your load, take it out and shoot it in one of the girl's eyes. when she gets up to go rinse out her eye, kick her in the shin so she hobbles around yelling AARRRR!




I'm sure the topic read 'jokes' not 'post your best pirate themed sexual violence and physical abuse moves' Laughing


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