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blankseplocked Drink "Eau du Nichup"®, the most miraculous beverage in New Eden!
 
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Black Necris
Minmatar
Sarz'na Khumatari
Damu'Khonde
Posted - 2010.06.13 16:36:00 - [1]
 

Edited by: Black Necris on 26/06/2010 12:42:44

The freedom fighting business sure is a tiresome one, kill a slaver here , fly several systems to set free a colony of slaves there, go to the strip joint, phew tiresome indeed. Yet most of the pilots of Ushra Khan have always stayed sharp, and with nerves of steel. For ages regular pilots wondered "How can we be able to perform such tasks and always stay sharp just as my UK idols?" Well the secret is out today!!

Presenting you "Eau du Nichup" the most marvelous and miraculous beverage in New Eden!!

Hi, Archbishop Black Necris here for "Eau du Nichup" the miraculous water! Extracted from holy headwaters of A-VILQ Planet 5 also known as "Nichuponia".
Are you tired of you pilots not responding fast enough to the threats?
Have you recently loss all your space due to lack of will to fight?
Have you been wardec'ed for past sins and need a boost?
Having problems pleasing the missus?

The answer: "Eau du Nichup", it invigorates your will, it brings forth the fighter in you, it makes grow your desire!!

Lest listen to some statements:

"After killing 1000 or more slavers with my Vagabond, i was loosing the will to keep on, then i discovered "Eau du Nichup" and man o man, i went back into my vaga and continue my slaver killing bussines even better than before, now i drink one bottle before each engagement" - Karn Mithralia

"Right after the battle of DG i had several problems pleasing the missus, each time i went to give it a try, my "geddon" turned into a mere "Inquisitor", but then i found out about "eau du nichup" and boy do the missus loves it, im so bussy with the wife that i havent undocked from Misaba station in weeks!" Wildcard Trek

"When -A- and UK started to invade providence and kicked our asses in DG i was so depressed i decided not to fight at all, we lost all our space, and i was about to throw myself out the window of my office located in Empire Space, then some one brought me a bottle of "Eau of Nichup" and lordy lord, its a like drinking a bit of heaven!, now im even thinking on retaking all the lost space back!" Aralis

"Soon after Aralis set me as KOS for having a big mouth, and having lost all my flock and choir boys i was so down that i even thought about actually getting a job and working to make ends meet, soon after i saw a bottle of "Eau du Nichup", the label had a face who seemed full of awesome, wanting to be like the face in the label i started drinking, and my life changed forever!! I got my viper tongue back! and i'm slowly growing a flock of ragtags to pay for my meals all thanks to the miraculous "Eau du Nichup"
Vaari

"After hours of making sweet lesbian love to my darling, i was feeling a bit tired to plan the strategy to the Alliance Tournament. Having tasted this wonderful product this afternoon I can only say that if I'd been planning our alliance tournament now rather last week we'd still have three Macherials! I fully endorse this product! "Eau du Nichup!" Jade Constantine

I have sold billions of bottles of "Eau du Nichup" all across providence at a retail price of 500 ISK, but if you call now ill slash that price in half! thats right a bottle full of win for only 250 ISK and you will also receive the marvelous "Pod hanger" to place your bottle of "Eau du Nichup" anywhere in your pod and avoid any spills of the miraculous liquid. But if your place your order in this post within 24H you will receive also a bottle the tasty "Citrus Nichup" with the same qualities of "Eau du Nichup", the taste of heaven with a pinch of Orange!!!!! You will get all this for only 250 ISK!! But thats now all!!! if you answer to this post within the next 4 hours I will supersize your "Eau du Nichup" from the regular 500ml to a

aldebaran asteroth
Posted - 2010.06.13 16:49:00 - [2]
 

I endorse this product and/or service

Vaarun
Amarr
The Night Crew
Posted - 2010.06.13 17:46:00 - [3]
 

If you are drinking this water yourself, I would suggest having it tested for heavy metals.

That could explain a lot.

Black Necris
Minmatar
Sarz'na Khumatari
Damu'Khonde
Posted - 2010.06.13 17:48:00 - [4]
 

Originally by: Vaarun
If you are drinking this water yourself, I would suggest having it tested for heavy metals.

That could explain a lot.


Like making a new thread instead of answering to a post?

Nefher Zhila
Amarr
Khar Orda
Posted - 2010.06.13 21:53:00 - [5]
 

*The Khanid Lady on the holoprojector laughs*

Mr.Necris your humour on IGS never ceases to surprise me.

I have also a product for you to enjoy, it´s called Vitoc (althought i dont produce it i know who does), and the first delivery is free.

Try not to fly safe. *wink*

*the image flickers after the figure takes a bow and transmission ceases*

TomHorn
Caldari
Horn and Brothers
Posted - 2010.06.13 23:49:00 - [6]
 

Black Necris

Quote:
go to the strip joint, phew tiresome indeed


Im surprised that someone who calls himself to be a freedom figther would frequent such a place.

Many of these establishments are controlled by the underworld or various gangs of one form or another, which are generally involved in human trafficking.

Sex trafficking victims are generally found in dire circumstances and are easily targeted by traffickers, who force them to become prostitues or work in the sex industry.

The women are no more than sex slaves being used for the purpose of commercial sexual exploitation, where violence and **** are common place

Karosaki
Minmatar
Native Freshfood
Posted - 2010.06.13 23:58:00 - [7]
 

I'll take two!

Karosaki
Minmatar
Native Freshfood
Posted - 2010.06.14 00:06:00 - [8]
 

Originally by: TomHorn
Black Necris

Quote:
go to the strip joint, phew tiresome indeed


Im surprised that someone who calls himself to be a freedom figther would frequent such a place.

Many of these establishments are controlled by the underworld or various gangs of one form or another, which are generally involved in human trafficking.

Sex trafficking victims are generally found in dire circumstances and are easily targeted by traffickers, who force them to become prostitues or work in the sex industry.

The women are no more than sex slaves being used for the purpose of commercial sexual exploitation, where violence and **** are common place


Hmm I think what you are saying might have been true while Providence was under CVA's management. They were the ones into human trafficking. Without those prude ammarian "virtues" strip clubs are probably legal in most of providence, so one does not need to be associated with organized crime groups to run one.

Catualda
Posted - 2010.06.14 00:22:00 - [9]
 

Necris i find myself puzzled, i tried to go buy some of that water as i still had a jump clone in Unity Station, but seems my ship presence was quite bothersome:

2010.06.13 23:48:00

Victim: Catualda
Corp: Native Freshfood
Destroyed: Thrasher
System: 4B-NQN
Corp: Neh'bu Kau Beh'Hude

and i thought U'K had returned to NRDS...

Karn Mithralia
Neh'bu Kau Beh'Hude
Ushra'Khan
Posted - 2010.06.14 01:02:00 - [10]
 

Unfortunate Catualda, I'm sure the Eau du Nichup dispensary would happily reimburse the loss of your thrasher if you explained yourself to them.

For the record - U'K pilots are and always have been free to engage non-capsuleer (NPC) corporation pilots regardless of our current free-fire policies.

Catualda
Posted - 2010.06.14 02:52:00 - [11]
 

Originally by: Karn Mithralia
Unfortunate Catualda, I'm sure the Eau du Nichup dispensary would happily reimburse the loss of your thrasher if you explained yourself to them.

For the record - U'K pilots are and always have been free to engage non-capsuleer (NPC) corporation pilots regardless of our current free-fire policies.



Understood *smile*.
No harm done.

Nonetheless let me take the oportunity to salute you Karn, its been a long time, and having been part of your corporation is a cherished and treasured memory.
Especially after the training and time you gave to educate me in nullsec survival.

*Salute*

Black Necris
Minmatar
Sarz'na Khumatari
Damu'Khonde
Posted - 2010.06.14 04:19:00 - [12]
 

Dear TomHorn:

Thank you for expressing your concerns about "Eau du Nichup" ®

First let me assure that our labourers in Nichuponia® are all free workers, and they all recieve payment for their work as well as all the benefits, like dental plan and stuff.

Second i would like to let you know that I, Lord Black Necris, Archbishop of the New and Improved Church of Providence (NICHUP)®, always visit strip clubs where the girls are 100% from Amarr descent, this due to some remaining issues from when i was a sex slave myself working exclusively for the wifes of Amarr pilots out on duty (you can find the whole story about myself trough this years by reading the first book from my authorized biography "Black Necris: The Sebiestor Stallion").

Anyhow, this Amarr strippers are all free to come and go as they please, they are not captive in any way, and i may add i happened to stumble with some of my old costumers from slave years, seems some my old costumers where left so sad after my liberation that they decided to follow to providence and they abbandoned their husbands, working now as exotic dancers.
(you can find the whole story about my scape by reading the second book of my authorized biography "Black Necris: RUN BYATCH RUN")

To my dear Catualda, im sorry to hear a costumer got a bad experience when trying to buy his most holy "Eau du Nichup"®, therefore ill be happy to inform you that you will get a full box of "Eau du Nichup"® and 2 bottles of "Citrus Nichup"® for free! those items are waiting for you in Rens. Enjoy the taste of Heaven!


Alica Wildfire
Minmatar
Federal Investigations Agency
Posted - 2010.06.14 06:20:00 - [13]
 

Edited by: Alica Wildfire on 14/06/2010 06:20:40
Alica is assembling and disassambling a small automatic firearm in front of her like a geek girl doing some wierd ultra fast Rubic stuff.

Yes, yes! That's exactly what I need now. Seeeee, my damn Claw I just have the feeling it's not agile enough lately, I removed every gram of armor I could but it moves so damn sloooooow. And, and, and the 125mm Cannons all people say they fire faster than anything.

tHis iS nOt TrUe!!!

You can hear the single cartridge slowly, slowly put into to ammochamber, you can hear the bolt clicking back, springing forward, you can hear it softly touching the back of the cartridge, you can hear the explosion coming, the screatching noise when the bullet is leaving the rifle and the brust slowly shaking your ship.

I'M TOO DAMN SLOW!!!

So, so, so, if you say this water is giving me the one or other kick, then I'd like to order...

After putting the parts of the submachine pistol together, some parts she left aside and when she raises the weapon and fires on something behind the cam it's not a series of single shots you hear but a burst of fire from the mussle with a shreaking loud noise that is one tone without anybody distinguishing a single shot anymore.

Smoke and fire covers the screen for a second, then she ejects the smoldering clip of the weapon and inserts a fresh one.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

She fires the second clip.


Better, much better.

So, you say I get rid of that damn slowness and lazyness that is lurching around me and the damn, the dAmN jamming things like the feed of automatic weapons that just don't fire fast enough, then I order some of your waters.

Do yUo hAvE a more conCenTraded vaRiaNt of tHat stUfF? I would lIkE to tRy thAt toO. Order...

She types wildly numbers at her console while with the other hand firing the weapon.

RAAAAAAH RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH


I orDer a dAmn shIpLoaD fuLL. JuSt deLivER whAt yOu hAve, man. You wanna havE a zerO morE, man? HeRe - geT it! GeT

RAAAAAAAAAAAH RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

The stream of bullets hit the cam and communication closes with static.


Karn Mithralia
Neh'bu Kau Beh'Hude
Ushra'Khan
Posted - 2010.06.14 08:27:00 - [14]
 

(( Laughing ))

Tarac Nor
Caldari
Perkone
Posted - 2010.06.14 09:48:00 - [15]
 

I endorse this product, everyone should try this stuffVery Happy

Vaari
Amarr
Imperial Pharmacy
Posted - 2010.06.14 11:46:00 - [16]
 

We all know those statements are false. Nichup's poison has never found it ways to my table, nor it never will.

Necris, your abomination, NICHUP will be destoroyed sooner or later. I say sooner. You are trying to scam residents of my region by selling your bottled poison to them with aoutrageous sums. You are using your twisted and coorupted version of our true faith to benefit your wallet and satisfy your earthly lusts. What a corrupted and soulles being you are, like some sort of...vomithawk.

All good people know Providence has only one true church, and it is Church of Providence, overseered by me, the God's chosen prophet.

Dallenn
Minmatar
Jericho Fraction
The Star Fraction
Posted - 2010.06.14 15:37:00 - [17]
 

Edited by: Dallenn on 14/06/2010 15:38:33
The freecaptains of Star Fraction have spent countless hours of sweat and toil in an effort to advance the industry and commerce in Providence. While profit and prosperity are all good and dandy, all work and no play make for many a dull boy and a girl, and I have noticed lately that our parties could use a bit of a boost. Eau du Nichup to the rescue? We are interested in introducing new products to our TAZ Norlonto trading station and this one is certainly one of the most exciting ones!

In the spirit of open trade and in exchange to 10 crates of Eau du Nichup, I would like to offer 10 crates of planetary products, such as bottled oxygen harvested from the romantic gas giants of YWS0-Z - a vital refresher to any capsuleer who spends long periods immersed in pod liquid - and branded lipsticks in exciting velvet-blue shades, including but not limited to Cloaky Lady, Blue on Blue and Bane of Armageddons - these will make any girl with the right attitude as sexy as the famed capsuleer stars!

Jade Constantine
Gallente
Jericho Fraction
The Star Fraction
Posted - 2010.06.14 16:52:00 - [18]
 


Having tasted this wonderful product this afternoon I can only say that if I'd been planning our alliance tournament now rather last week we'd still have three Macherials!

I fully endorse this product!

"Eau du Nichup!"


Black Necris
Minmatar
Sarz'na Khumatari
Damu'Khonde
Posted - 2010.06.14 22:16:00 - [19]
 

Edited by: Black Necris on 14/06/2010 22:28:38
Originally by: Jade Constantine

Having tasted this wonderful product this afternoon I can only say that if I'd been planning our alliance tournament now rather last week we'd still have three Macherials!

I fully endorse this product!

"Eau du Nichup!"




Thank you for the statement Jade Constantine, hope you don't mind me adding you to the statements of satisfied customers, be sure you and all the free captains of the Star Fraction will receive free samples of my products and for you my dear Jade, a life annuity of "Eau du Nichup"®!!!


To my dear Alicia Wildfire:
Dear Child, i can tell you, no... i assure you that once you try the miraculous and marvelous "Eau du Nichup"® you will live your life like if you where a constant beam of light!! you will be able to make calculations faster than the fastest computer all while loading your AC manually bullet by bullet while firing at the same time and reading the whole Pax Amarria and laughing at the nonsense of the texts!! That i guaranty as my name is Black Necris!!!

Dear Varii
Please drink some more "Eau du Nichup"®, the effects are starting to fade!!!

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT
I would like to inform also that "Eau du Nichup" ® is now proudly sponsoring the Ushra Khan Team in the 8th Alliance Tournament, and im looking to sponsor more teams, if you feel your team represents what "Eau du Nichup" ® its all about feel free to contact me, and get a giant plastic check full of awesome endorsement, which includes (but its not limited to): Beautiful Models posing for the Team, Paint jobs for your ships, relaxation trips for the pilots and crews, paid vacations and bonus incentives for advancement in the tournament! Feel free to drop your application for sponsorship now!

"Eau du Nichup"® the drink of winners!


Nikita Alterana
Kumiho's Smile
Posted - 2010.06.14 22:31:00 - [20]
 

I've been feeling rather upset with myself lately, what with getting a bunch of my workers killed in an industrial accident and all, but after trying your delicious and refreshing product I suddenly have the strength to let my workers keep dying while they pick through the frozen unstable wreckage.

"Eau du Nichup!"

Black Necris
Minmatar
Sarz'na Khumatari
Damu'Khonde
Posted - 2010.06.15 04:32:00 - [21]
 

Edited by: Black Necris on 15/06/2010 04:32:57
Originally by: Nikita Alterana
I've been feeling rather upset with myself lately, what with getting a bunch of my workers killed in an industrial accident and all, but after trying your delicious and refreshing product I suddenly have the strength to let my workers keep dying while they pick through the frozen unstable wreckage.

"Eau du Nichup!"


Like all wonderful things in life, there is always a party pooper that finds a way to use things for bad! if only i could choose who buys this liquid from heaven!!

Yet i can't, hence even when you use the product of the proud workers of Planet Nichuponia to hide your inner self from the evil of your ways, i cant but wish that our miraculous liquid "Eau du Nichup, avaliable in the presentations of 500ml and a whooping 2L, will help also to enlighten your mind and open your eyes.


foksieloy
Minmatar
Rockets ponies and rainbows
Posted - 2010.06.15 08:45:00 - [22]
 

I'd like to order a few bottles, if it made Aralis and Vaari happier it has to be good.

Thank you for your product Necris.

Black Necris
Minmatar
Sarz'na Khumatari
Damu'Khonde
Posted - 2010.06.16 20:50:00 - [23]
 

Originally by: foksieloy
I'd like to order a few bottles, if it made Aralis and Vaari happier it has to be good.

Thank you for your product Necris.



Your order is ready for pickup in 9UY UNITY Station, enjoy the taste of awesome!

TomHorn
Caldari
Horn and Brothers
Posted - 2010.06.25 03:18:00 - [24]
 

Dear Black Necris

Quote:
i was a sex slave myself working exclusively for the wifes of Amarr pilots out on duty (you can find the whole story about myself trough this years by reading the first book from my authorized biography "Black Necris: The Sebiestor Stallion").


I managed to get hold of a copy of your book "The Sebiestor Stallion" and i must say it is filth and lies. NO Amarrian woman would lie down with a Minmatar. But if the black haired Minmatar youth got the chance , with satanic joy in his face he would lurk in wait for the unsuspecting Amarrian girl whom he would defile with his blood , thus stealing her from her people. This is the real truth Black Necris is it not.

Id like to recommend to you to read the Good Book ,the "Book of God" and in it he says " the personification of the devil as the symbol of all evil assumes the living shape of the Minmatar"

TH

Anabella Rella
Minmatar
Gradient
Electus Matari
Posted - 2010.06.25 06:35:00 - [25]
 

Originally by: TomHorn
Dear Black Necris

Quote:
i was a sex slave myself working exclusively for the wifes of Amarr pilots out on duty (you can find the whole story about myself trough this years by reading the first book from my authorized biography "Black Necris: The Sebiestor Stallion").


I managed to get hold of a copy of your book "The Sebiestor Stallion" and i must say it is filth and lies. NO Amarrian woman would lie down with a Minmatar. But if the black haired Minmatar youth got the chance , with satanic joy in his face he would lurk in wait for the unsuspecting Amarrian girl whom he would defile with his blood , thus stealing her from her people. This is the real truth Black Necris is it not.

Id like to recommend to you to read the Good Book ,the "Book of God" and in it he says " the personification of the devil as the symbol of all evil assumes the living shape of the Minmatar"

TH


Awwww, sounds like somebody needs a hug a cookie and a case of Eau du Nichup® to turn his frown upside down!

Black Necris
Minmatar
Sarz'na Khumatari
Damu'Khonde
Posted - 2010.06.26 11:37:00 - [26]
 

Edited by: Black Necris on 26/06/2010 11:42:10

Originally by: TomHorn
I managed to get hold of a copy of your book "The Sebiestor Stallion" and i must say it is filth and lies. NO Amarrian woman would lie down with a Minmatar. But if the black haired Minmatar youth got the chance , with satanic joy in his face he would lurk in wait for the unsuspecting Amarrian girl whom he would defile with his blood , thus stealing her from her people. This is the real truth Black Necris is it not.


Dear TomHorn:

I'm sorry to hear that my authorized Biography failed to inspire you. I can assure you that the events written in "Black Necris: The Sebiestor Stallion" are 100% true, and no names where changed.

Of course, being a free man, you are entitled to your beliefs and you can believe as hard as you can that your Amarr master's wifes stay pure and untouched while their husbands fight the "good fight" for months nonestop. But in reality, those poor abandoned women, crave for men like me, men untamed, who can take them into their strong arms and make sweet Sebiestor love to them. I have but the deepest sympathies for those women, who loved me and got loved in return, only to left abandoned when i was liberated, must be horrible to have me and then loose me.

If you have doubts about the events told in my authorized biographies please feel free to contact me, and ill answer to all of them as we drink a couple of bottles of "Eau du Nichup" in their whooping 2 litters presentation, while eating a delicious "Viande au Citron" (a new recipe of Veal cooked with "Citrus Nichup").

Regarding your interest in me reading your so called "Book of God" ill take some time to read your fantasy book. There is always time for a big laugh, even in a life as busy as mine.

And i leave your kind sir with the recipe to prepare the exquisite "Poultry Nichup", enjoy!

4 to 6 pieces chicken filets
1 pkg. scallions
2 garlic cloves
1/2 tsp. thyme
3 tbsp. olive oil
1 oz. Citrus Nichup
Season the chicken with salt, garlic and scallions for 24h
Fry the chicken in the pan with the olive oil. Then throw in the garlic and scallions and sprinkle the thyme over the chicken. Then pour the Citrus Nichup over the chicken and keep the flame high.
Pierce each piece of chicken with the fork. Press it and move it around the pan in order to absorb the flavour. Cover the pan and leave it covered for 5-8 minutes after you turn off the stove. Larger pieces may need 2 or 3 more minutes of cooking. To be served over pasta or rice.

Most gracious and celebrated chef of Providence

Lord Black Necris
Archbishop of the New and Improved Church of Providence
Proud Creator and owner of "Eau du Nichup"® " and "Citrus Nichup"® "A taste of Heaven"

foksieloy
Minmatar
Rockets ponies and rainbows
Posted - 2010.06.28 08:52:00 - [27]
 

Testimonial:

After drinking this wonderful beverage for a week, I have to say I am impressed. Not only it tastes absolutely divine, it also reduced the caries on my wisdom tooth!

I also noticed women like me more, and I can last longer in bed.

The effect was ruined when I sampled but a glass of Amarr Victor. The dentist had to pull out my wisdom tooth which suddenly rotted and women wouldn't even look at me.

So, drink Eau du NICHUP for better sex life, healthy teeth and ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS TASTE!

Black Necris
Minmatar
Sarz'na Khumatari
Damu'Khonde
Posted - 2010.06.28 21:20:00 - [28]
 

Originally by: foksieloy
Testimonial:

After drinking this wonderful beverage for a week, I have to say I am impressed. Not only it tastes absolutely divine, it also reduced the caries on my wisdom tooth!

I also noticed women like me more, and I can last longer in bed.

The effect was ruined when I sampled but a glass of Amarr Victor. The dentist had to pull out my wisdom tooth which suddenly rotted and women wouldn't even look at me.

So, drink Eau du NICHUP for better sex life, healthy teeth and ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS TASTE!


Another miracle by Eau du Nichup®!! the most miraculous, fantabulous drink of New Eden! "Eau du Nichup®" the taste of Heaven!

Disclaimer:
* Eau du Nichup® guaranties its miraculousness in all New Eden, drinking "Amarr Victor" voids any guaranties of Eau du Nichup®
* Eau du Nichup® should not be consumed by people suffering by Radiation Poisoning. If nevertheless Eau du Nichup® is consumed by some one under the aforementioned condition, the subject will be cured from the radiation poisoning but harm might come to those near due an inflammation of the hypothalamus and Periaqueductal gray, with side reactions which include Aggressiveness, Psychotic Behavior accompanied by a large reserve of energy and Extreme Augmentation of the affected person strength.


 

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