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Devilish Ledoux
Caldari
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
Posted - 2009.09.09 04:04:00 - [1]
 

As a recent convert to the Faith, I feel that it is my duty to educate you, the infidel, on the beliefs and practices of the Goon. My goal is to educate the ignorant, to enlighten the misguided and to convert the willing. May God bless you and grant you the ability to comprehend the meaning behind my meager efforts.

History

Our faith, like many other marginalized religions, has its roots in a once-large sect of the Amarrian faith. At one time, its followers lived in relative harmony with the adherents to what is now Amarrian Orthodox. They also preached that human kind must live in harmony with the cosmos itself. Unlike the Orthodox Amarrian religion, it was a religion of peace and tolerance; a religion in which all beings were equal in the eyes of God. However, as the influence of the religion that became Amarrian Orthodox grew, its leaders came to see all other faiths as a threat to its supremacy. The Crusade was as inevitable as it was brutal.

The Amarrian Orthodoxy crushed its rival to the point where virtually no one even remembers its name. (For the sake of simplicity, I will refer to it as the Old Faith.) However, they did not eradicate it entirely. Like faintly glowing embers, the Old Faith needed only a breath of fresh air to explode into a raging inferno. That breath was provided by the Prophet Karttoon, now Grand Sheikh of Goonswarm, Sword of Divine Fury, Scourge of the Infidel.

The biography of the man now known as Karttoon is shrouded in mystery. What is known is that he was spent nearly two years as a religious scholar in the Royal Amarr Institute. While outwardly, he appeared to be every inch the Orthodox Amarrian, in his soul, he knew that his allegiance lay elsewhere. One fateful day, God Himself spoke to him. The Almighty's message was both simple and powerful: "That which cannot be tolerated must not be tolerated."

This simple revelation let the Prophet Karttoon to the inevitable conclusion that the Old Faith was flawed in that it attempted to tolerate the intolerable. It was this contradiction that left it open to near-destruction at the hands of the Amarrian Orthodoxy and it was this weakness that the Prophet Karttoon resolved to eradicate. No more would the Old Faith (henceforward known only as the Faith) bend to the will of the monstrous. Instead, the Faith would bend the monstrous to its will by any means necessary.

Devilish Ledoux
Caldari
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
Posted - 2009.09.09 04:10:00 - [2]
 

Beliefs and Practices (Core Tenets)

At the core of our religion is the belief that God, that Divinity Itself, is in every asteroid, every moon, every world. We believe that every asteroid, given time, will form itself into a new world. We believe that every moon will one day support life. We believe that every world longs to live in the warm embrace of the Almighty. However, under the name of "Science" and "Heavy Industry," unbelievers (commonly referred to as "infidels") who care nothing of the sanctity of the environment are hard at work unraveling God's perfect plan. The Prophet Karttoon saw this and, as his power and influence grew with the aid of God Almighty, he began a never-ending struggle to preserve a universe in God's image.

Sects and Cults

Like many newly-reformed religions, the Faith has several sects and cults. All of these follow the teachings of the Prophet Karttoon. However, different sects and cults have different traditions and forms of worship. This is allowed and encouraged, as the Almighty (through his Most High Prophet) tells us that the expression of one's Faith is nothing in the face of the Faith itself. As these subgroups are numerous, with new groups appearing, changing, merging and fading away nearly every day, I will not attempt to document them at this time. All subgroups of the Faith adhere to the core beliefs and principles without question, as any true adherent of the Faith is incapable of seeing any other path to righteousness.

That is enough for now. I do not wish to flood the eyes of the unenlightened so much that they are made blind. Consider my words, infidel, and pray to the God Almighty that your sins may be forgiven and that you may one day walk the path of the righteous. Peace be unto you. Aloha Akbar.

Jakiin
Amarr
Khanid Provincial Vanguard
Posted - 2009.09.09 04:17:00 - [3]
 

So in other words, Goonswarm is a prime example of why when purging a heretical religion, you must purge it properly.

Trish Red
Posted - 2009.09.09 13:56:00 - [4]
 

Quote:
At the core of our religion is the belief that God, that Divinity Itself, is in every asteroid, every moon, every world. We believe that every asteroid, given time, will form itself into a new world.


This means that the miners are not only infidels, but also
the greatest enemy of your goonish faith?

Zarithas
Caldari
GoonFleet
GoonSwarm
Posted - 2009.09.09 15:30:00 - [5]
 

Edited by: Zarithas on 09/09/2009 15:30:28
Originally by: Trish Red
Quote:
At the core of our religion is the belief that God, that Divinity Itself, is in every asteroid, every moon, every world. We believe that every asteroid, given time, will form itself into a new world.


This means that the miners are not only infidels, but also
the greatest enemy of your goonish faith?

This is correct. The grave sin of ultra-capitalistic asteroid defilement, and its refinement and production into yet more unclean mining ships all to continue degrading Allah's holy creations is the most evil cycle.

There is no greater enemy.

Jiai Shou
Gallente
University of Caille
Posted - 2009.09.09 15:48:00 - [6]
 

Goons?

What are this "Goons" you speak of?

Perhaps a new mouthwash?

Jiai

Swearte Widfarend
Gallente
Aurora Security
Posted - 2009.09.09 16:22:00 - [7]
 

Questions. If mining and refinement are the source of your enmity, isn't buying and flying ships made from that mining and refinement your own support of this "heresy?"

So you are, by purchasing, building, and flying ships helping to support those who mine the asteroids. Should you not simply stop purchasing, building and flying ships?

After all, the infidel miner only does this to make money, and the money is only made because others buy the minerals and ores to make ships. So if you stop buying, building, and flying ships you actually bring down the miner and industrialist in the most painful way - by destroying their income.

Sippin Syzzzurp
GoonFleet
Posted - 2009.09.09 17:10:00 - [8]
 

By using the ships built from the tainted materials, we die in glorious battle cleansing the belts of infidels, saving the sacred asteroids, and returning the minerals used in the construction of our vests of cleansing to the belts from whence they came. Only by death at the hands of CONCORD, whilst covered in the blood and debris from the ships of mining infidels, can these once holy minerals and compounds be cleansed from the taint forced upon them by the evils of Heavy Industry. Aloha Akbar.

Vendrin
Stimulus
Rote Kapelle
Posted - 2009.09.09 17:21:00 - [9]
 

Really Mr. Ledoux? Goonswarm? It seems such a step down for you.

Sebastien Starstrider
Gallente
Minmatar Ship Construction Services
Ushra'Khan
Posted - 2009.09.09 18:21:00 - [10]
 

I, for one, would love to see a CVA response to this. Normally they tend to frequent these sorts of religious postings and the like, and are unforgiving with their harsh words. I'd certainly like to see how they react now.

Bagehi
Association of Commonwealth Enterprises
Posted - 2009.09.09 19:40:00 - [11]
 

Death to the infidels.

Devilish Ledoux
Caldari
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
Posted - 2009.09.09 20:12:00 - [12]
 

Originally by: Swearte Widfarend
Questions. If mining and refinement are the source of your enmity, isn't buying and flying ships made from that mining and refinement your own support of this "heresy?"

So you are, by purchasing, building, and flying ships helping to support those who mine the asteroids. Should you not simply stop purchasing, building and flying ships?

After all, the infidel miner only does this to make money, and the money is only made because others buy the minerals and ores to make ships. So if you stop buying, building, and flying ships you actually bring down the miner and industrialist in the most painful way - by destroying their income.


Like any environmentally responsible organization, we recycle. In addition, we use confiscated minerals and equipment and repurpose them. Why, the minerals that go into a single Judgement Doomsday Device alone can be repurposed to make dozens of frigates.

Zarithas
Caldari
GoonFleet
GoonSwarm
Posted - 2009.09.09 21:40:00 - [13]
 

Edited by: Zarithas on 09/09/2009 21:42:33
Edited by: Zarithas on 09/09/2009 21:42:06
Originally by: Swearte Widfarend
Questions. If mining and refinement are the source of your enmity, isn't buying and flying ships made from that mining and refinement your own support of this "heresy?"

So you are, by purchasing, building, and flying ships helping to support those who mine the asteroids. Should you not simply stop purchasing, building and flying ships?

After all, the infidel miner only does this to make money, and the money is only made because others buy the minerals and ores to make ships. So if you stop buying, building, and flying ships you actually bring down the miner and industrialist in the most painful way - by destroying their income.

Ah, unenlightened one, see how your lack of faith has blinded you so.

The only way to stop this is by force, not "peaceful protest" or "boycott." Even if it means using the very tools that are made of the desecrated holy rock formations themselves, it is not difficult to reconcile one's faith in this manner when all spacecraft and modules are consecrated and cleansed by an Imam before they are given to a loyal believer. Also, the very holy nature of the rocks themselves would be made moot if they were harvested and stripped then cast aside or thrown away? Allah believes in respect for nature and all of its creations, and wastefulness is condemned. All JihadSwarm weapons and materials are recycled as well.

Isaac Starstriker
Amarr
Frontier Venture
Posted - 2009.09.10 00:24:00 - [14]
 

Originally by: Sebastien Starstrider
I, for one, would love to see a CVA response to this. Normally they tend to frequent these sorts of religious postings and the like, and are unforgiving with their harsh words. I'd certainly like to see how they react now.


*coughs slightly...*

Although I fly with CVA, I highly doubt they'll respond to a threat that really has no effect on us. Have fun GS (JS?).

--Isaac

May Zonday
GoonFleet
GoonSwarm
Posted - 2009.09.10 00:37:00 - [15]
 

Oh great imams! Tell me how I a lowly bee can help you in your holy Jihad! I am but a dumb moron and cannot follow simple instructions!

Tracy Panavia
Posted - 2009.09.10 01:38:00 - [16]
 

Edited by: Tracy Panavia on 10/09/2009 01:39:12
ohgod

Ahistaja
GoonFleet
GoonSwarm
Posted - 2009.09.10 01:45:00 - [17]
 

Originally by: Tracy Panavia
Edited by: Tracy Panavia on 10/09/2009 01:39:12
ohgod


damn right dude

Sumerio Rayej
Gallente
Intaki Liberation Front
Posted - 2009.09.10 03:25:00 - [18]
 

Edited by: Sumerio Rayej on 10/09/2009 04:10:20
Oh, cool. So Goon space must be filled with giant, fat asteroids that they wouldn't dare defile to build their own ships. Probably explains why they have hardly any capital ships.

They probably don't do any moon mining, either, since that would defile the lovely moons that might otherwise be allowed to grow into life supporting planets.

(I'm with Vendrin, Devilish. Goons seems a step down. You were a damn sexy pirate.)

Devilish Ledoux
Caldari
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
Posted - 2009.09.10 04:27:00 - [19]
 

Originally by: Sumerio Rayej
Edited by: Sumerio Rayej on 10/09/2009 04:10:20
Oh, cool. So Goon space must be filled with giant, fat asteroids that they wouldn't dare defile to build their own ships. Probably explains why they have hardly any capital ships.

They probably don't do any moon mining, either, since that would defile the lovely moons that might otherwise be allowed to grow into life supporting planets.

(I'm with Vendrin, Devilish. Goons seems a step down. You were a damn sexy pirate.)


In order, "yes," "hahaha," "delve is kosher" and "were?"

Meau
Fatal Furballs
Posted - 2009.09.10 07:55:00 - [20]
 

So.
Tree huggers. Im mildly amused.

Able Citizen
Jericho Fraction
The Star Fraction
Posted - 2009.09.10 11:35:00 - [21]
 

Originally by: Vendrin
Really Mr. Ledoux? Goonswarm? It seems such a step down for you.


I concur. Confused

Janice Jankowski
Posted - 2009.09.10 13:27:00 - [22]
 

What is the position of the great swarm regarding secured containers in their holy systems?

zoolkhan
Minmatar
Mirkur Draug'Tyr
Ushra'Khan
Posted - 2009.09.10 13:30:00 - [23]
 

Originally by: Vendrin
Really Mr. Ledoux? Goonswarm? It seems such a step down for you.


a step down for anyone tbh.

Tyzzara
Minmatar
Stimulus
Rote Kapelle
Posted - 2009.09.10 14:40:00 - [24]
 

Devilish writing something that refers to, mentions and almost focuses on religion!?! Of any sort!?!

Yeah...tread lightly or you might be pulled into something that is far more than you bargained for.

Devilish is the devil. Hence the name.

Invelious
Amarr
Adamant Edge
Posted - 2009.09.10 15:41:00 - [25]
 

Goonswarm still mines the belts and moons they own in Delve and elsewhere, prehaps you need to conduct a internal inquisition and cleanse your alliance of the infidels, before coming out to the general public and announcing your faith while looking like a hypocrate at the same time.

Weaselior
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
Posted - 2009.09.10 17:50:00 - [26]
 

Originally by: Invelious
Goonswarm still mines the belts and moons they own in Delve and elsewhere, prehaps you need to conduct a internal inquisition and cleanse your alliance of the infidels, before coming out to the general public and announcing your faith while looking like a hypocrate at the same time.


Have you sacrificed one ship to purge the belts of infidels? Have you sacrificed one second to listen to the words of Kartoon? Have you fired one shot to purge the moons of abominations? Be silent here until you have some knowledge of what you speak of, infidel. It is for you to obey, not question.

Jakiin
Amarr
Khanid Provincial Vanguard
Posted - 2009.09.11 00:15:00 - [27]
 

Originally by: Weaselior
Have you sacrificed one ship to purge the belts of infidels? Have you sacrificed one second to listen to the words of Kartoon? Have you fired one shot to purge the moons of abominations? Be silent here until you have some knowledge of what you speak of, infidel. It is for you to obey, not question.


I think this is a classic example of why we need to remind some of our preachers that while praising the Lord is good, telling everyone who has yet to be converted that they are worthless scum is not going to garner the Faith any rewards.

Drago Palermus
Gallente
Tulsa Tube Bending
GoonSwarm
Posted - 2009.09.11 15:55:00 - [28]
 

Originally by: Meau
So.
Tree huggers. Im mildly amused.


We ensure that all of our crusades are certified "green" Twisted EvilTwisted EvilTwisted Evil

FireT
Gallente
Royal Advanced Industries
Imperial Crimson Legion
Posted - 2009.09.11 16:24:00 - [29]
 

I give this topic a 6/10 mainly because it has a religiously stupid excuse for griefing. Razz

edeity
Amarr
Posted - 2009.09.13 11:48:00 - [30]
 

I am deeply interested in this topic, however must ask for credentials and reference. I do wish to understand more on the Goon but as is known from common experience, words and meaning itself serves a different purpose when crafted by a Goon.

You come here obviously to engage in discussion. If so, please provide some proof or evidence of the dogmatic authority of your views on the religion of Goon. I would like to take you at face value but alas experience points otherwise.

My stated purpose in life is the conversion of souls to the Amarrian faith, and to make this a truly recognised religion across all space and all time. Truth is eternal and omnipresent. Further discourse on this subject if genuinely of interest to you is welcome. There may yet be common ground to explore.


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