open All Channels
seplocked EVE Fiction
blankseplocked Zealot Heavy Assault Cruiser Reviewed
 
This thread is older than 90 days and has been locked due to inactivity.


 
Author Topic

Arcika Toalen
GoonFleet
Posted - 2009.08.03 11:39:00 - [1]
 

A pulchritudinous sun casts it gentle dawn rays across the badlands of Delve and grasps but for one fleeting moment the soft curves of metal, enveloping them like a warm, gentle envelope and scampers like a cheeky spider over a chrome effect badge, picking out each letter as if it were a sniper picking off a target from a celestial bell tower. Singularly those letters mean nothing; together they spell out potency and promise: Z E A L O T.

I grip the Viziam badged fob in my feverish palm and deploy the button marked with the distinctive shape of an open padlock. Instantly the pilots door unlocks with erectile urgency and soon plugged in. The entines fires quickly, promptly, immediately and weíre under way. First impressions? Direction change crisp as a bag of Walkerís cheese & onion crisps, MWD action soft as stepping on the face of a kitten. It feels good. The fluids take a few moments to warm like a watched pot gathering moss and then itís time to see what she can really do. Run it to the red line, bang through the star gates, timed to perfection. In a straight line, a Gallente Viator wouldnít know which direction it had gone.

Time to test her on the twisties. Turns in well, feels keyed to the grid, feedback is like a focus group, firm but fair, the coiled inertial dampners soaking up the worst space can throw at them like a well turned sponge in a bath of gravel. Go in hard, lift off the throttle and the tail steps out, but itís as controllable as a well trained spaniel on a short lead in a fenced in garden with Barbara Woodhouse watching on. As soon as it gets sideways I gather it up with a well timed dab of oppo and Iím away.

What price driving pleasure to put a smile on your face as if youíve slept with a coat hangar full of Ecstacy in your mouth? In this case, from 120m isk. The Viziam Zealot is a *****, and I spanked it.

Arcika Toalen is Executive Associate Editor-at-Large at Dab Of Oppo magazine

Orkasm
The Remnant Legion.
The Remnant Legion
Posted - 2009.08.03 11:46:00 - [2]
 

First!


IBTL

Eli Porter
Posted - 2009.08.03 12:01:00 - [3]
 

I put on my robe and wizard hat

Valator Uel
Caldari
Mercenaries of Andosia
Northern Coalition.
Posted - 2009.08.03 12:01:00 - [4]
 

x-IAC goon spotted?

Fat Ducker
Amarr
Lucky Hydra Corp
Posted - 2009.08.03 12:31:00 - [5]
 

Anyone who remembers Mac McDiarmid from when he used to write for BIKE magazine, will realise he is not only drunk (as usual) but plays internet spaceships these days.

PS If Mac is reading this, you still owe £1.20 from june 95, which you borrowed (in old 10p peices) to use as pre-loading spacer in the front forks of your FZR1000.

Brmble
GoonFleet
GoonSwarm
Posted - 2009.08.03 13:29:00 - [6]
 

don't drink & drive amarr

Ganymede21
Posted - 2009.08.03 13:50:00 - [7]
 

Just keep concentrating on your rifter and don't bother playing whit the zealot.

Cindy McCain
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
Posted - 2009.08.03 19:21:00 - [8]
 

Originally by: Ganymede21
Just keep concentrating on your rifter and don't bother playing whit the zealot.


nice troll, brah

SquadBroken
Helljumpers
Posted - 2009.08.03 21:35:00 - [9]
 

Wut?

Can I get a TL DR?

Tyremis
The Perfect Storm
Random-Violence
Posted - 2009.08.03 21:47:00 - [10]
 

Originally by: SquadBroken
Wut?

Can I get a TL DR?



sure

TLDR - Fap fap fap zealot fap fap

Bismaru's Ambition
Amarr
Trigrams Edge
Posted - 2009.08.03 21:50:00 - [11]
 

Goonswarm and tech 2 dont really go together, not healthy for stats :P

pc dude
Ghosts of Ragnarok
Test Alliance Please Ignore
Posted - 2009.08.04 01:58:00 - [12]
 

tl;dr

stop posting

CCP Zymurgist


Gallente
C C P
Posted - 2009.08.04 18:37:00 - [13]
 

Moved to EVE Fiction.

Aralissia
Amarr
Lollyp0ps
Posted - 2009.08.04 19:25:00 - [14]
 

Originally by: CCP Zymurgist
Moved to EVE Fiction.


... lol, this one found a more polite way of saying 'Locked'

Phelix Jung
Born-2-Kill
WE FORM VOLTRON
Posted - 2009.08.05 11:24:00 - [15]
 

Well i liked it.

Irida Mershkov
Gallente
The Reformed
Chaos Theory Alliance
Posted - 2009.08.05 15:14:00 - [16]
 

Fair enough.

Milo Caman
Gallente
Anshar Incorporated
Posted - 2009.08.06 12:15:00 - [17]
 

Originally by: CCP Zymurgist
Moved to EVE Fiction.


Do you actually read posts before you move/lock them?

Anyura
Posted - 2009.08.06 12:58:00 - [18]
 

Good Lord, no.

If I had to read every topic before deciding whether to lock, ban, move or delete it I'd end up despairing of the human race and run over myself with a truck.


 

This thread is older than 90 days and has been locked due to inactivity.


 


The new forums are live

Please adjust your bookmarks to https://forums.eveonline.com

These forums are archived and read-only