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Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
Posted - 2009.02.17 06:30:00 - [61]
 

Stereotypes:

Amarr: Religious zealots.
Caldari: Moneygrabbing industrialists.
Gallente: Dronehuggers.
Minmatar: YEAH?! Umm, nothing.

How to deal with:


Amarr: Throw a bible off a ledge.
Caldari: Throw a bag of money off a ledge.
Minmatar: Throw working tech off a ledge.
Gallente: Throw off a ledge.

Joe Starbreaker
M. Corp
Posted - 2009.02.17 06:58:00 - [62]
 

Out of isk:

Amarr: Want not for material things. Roll up your sleeves and do God's work, and you will provide for yourself. We are the finest race in the Universe, and we didn't get that way by slacking off like Minmatars.

Caldari: The board has determined we have no recourse but to sell a controlling interest in the ship to a larger consortium, or file for bankruptcy. All employees who did not receive a pink slip will come to the main meeting hall at 0900 hours for a presentation introducing the new management.

Gallente: This isn't our fault. We were victimized by predatory traders charging more for their goods than they reasonably should have. Vote for candidate X, he'll give us free ISK welfare. It'll be paid for by the reasonable measure of raising taxes on those producers and traders, and their descendants, forever.

Minmatar: Welcome to Amamake. We have webbed and scrambled your pod. Pay the sum indicated below within 30 seconds or we destroy you. No negotiation, no counter-offers.

Learol
Posted - 2009.02.17 07:27:00 - [63]
 

Out of ISK

Amarr: time to round up some more slaves for the empire
Caldari: where’s your lvl 5 agent again?
Gallente: TO JITA!
Minmatar: out of what?

Poreuomai
Minmatar
Mirkur Draug'Tyr
Ushra'Khan
Posted - 2009.02.17 13:31:00 - [64]
 

Edited by: Poreuomai on 17/02/2009 13:57:50
Originally by: Stitcher
Gallente: "NO! Not my beer!"
...
Gallente: "NO! Not my beer!"
...
Gallente: "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

HA HA! Laughing

Demitria Fernir
Caldari
Science and Trade Institute
Posted - 2009.02.17 13:39:00 - [65]
 

Ransom:

Amarr: we shall not pay to the heretics.
Caldari: we shall not let go our money.
Gallente: we shall not let go our beer.
Minmatar: we shall not pay, we wouldn't be albe to collect out insurance payout.

Thynar
Gallente
Melita Foundation
Posted - 2009.02.17 13:49:00 - [66]
 

Don't know about you others but suddenly got this urge to roll a Minmatar Very Happy

Miniturret
Amarr
Fomus-Amarr Industrial
Posted - 2009.02.17 14:50:00 - [67]
 

Going Through Schooling

Amarr: God is the highest power followed by the empresses. You follow commands to the T.
Caldari: Welcome to Economics 315 Please take your seats in an orderly fashion.
Gallente: Welcome to Drone Control 101. Warp in launch drones and begin to run away.
Minmatar: Ok duct tape is over there, guns are over here, controls are here. no questions ok good luck.


Ivena Amethyst
Posted - 2009.02.17 16:31:00 - [68]
 

out of drones:
caldari: lol we had drones?
minmatar: just strap some handguns on the bits falling of the ship and we'll be fine!
amarr: whatever, they where distractions enyway...
gallante:
drone officer: captain! we are out of drones!
captain: merde! load ze void to compezate for 50% damage decrease!
engineer: but captain, le capazitor! and le tracking!
captain: never mind ze cap! just gank zem!

out of cap:
caldari: so? we are in a drake!ugh
minmatar: weald som cables from the capacitor to the hull! we'll load it with the enemys laser fire!Idea
amarr: we'll know if there is a god very soon..Shocked
gallente: le drones don't need ze cap!Very Happy

Pax Ratlin
Gallente
Metalworks
Majesta Empire
Posted - 2009.02.17 17:14:00 - [69]
 

Originally by: Thynar
Don't know about you others but suddenly got this urge to roll a Minmatar Very Happy


Drink more Beer, and the feeling will pass.

Miniturret
Amarr
Fomus-Amarr Industrial
Posted - 2009.02.17 17:50:00 - [70]
 

Edited by: Miniturret on 17/02/2009 18:00:34
Edited by: Miniturret on 17/02/2009 17:52:43
why do I picture the minmatar as the crew from the uss stingray from the movie down periscope.

Down Periscope IMDB

WALK THE PLANK

cpt Mark
Posted - 2009.02.17 17:55:00 - [71]
 

Edited by: cpt Mark on 17/02/2009 17:56:05
Originally by: Thargat
Originally by: CCP Whisper


Amarr: "Gah! Send a slave out with a tin of brasso immediately!"
Caldari: "Gah! Send an ensign out with a tin of brasso immediately!"
Gallente: "Gah! Send a polishing drone out with a tin of brasso immediately!"
Minmatar: "...what do you mean there's only one spot of rust?"


Made me lulz

Shields are GONE
Amarr
First Officer- "Captain, the treacherous enemy have shredded our shields!"
Captain, to himself- "GOD is our shield, faith is our armor"
First Officer- "Beg you'r pardon sire, but shouldn't we engage our armor repair systems and have damage control crews put on alert just in case?"
Captain- "HERESY, HOW DARE YOU DEFY THE WILL OF GOD?"
First Officer- "......nhhhhhch"
Captain- "Gods will be done, NOW FIRE ALL WEAPONS AND CLEANSE THE GALAXY OF THAT ABOMINATION"
New First Officer- "Captain, it seems the generators are running low with energy"
Captain- "The empress won't be as forgiving as I am"......

Gallente
First Officer- "Captain Elect, we'r going into armor"
Captain- "Is that really the general consensus of the crew?"
First Officer- "Sir, there's 49% for and 48% against while 10% remains undecided"
Captain- "Very well, we shall vote on this again on monday, you may address the crew"

Minmatar
Guy with ray-bans- "Hey you! Them shield thingies are broken now"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Wuts what? We have those? Can we duct-tape it?"
Guy with ray-bans- "Dunno, don' tink so'"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Than we nick's sum'one els's"
Guy with ray-bans- "Uhh, cant be dun"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Thun why da **** u buggin' me?, I gots better stuff to do dan worrys abouts stuff we dont has and can't steal, too much o' dat already" *returns to pulling levers to big ass gun*

Caldari
First Officer- "Captain, our shields are....."



I LOLD SO HARD

Btw, guy above, if ur out of cap in a drake, ur still a dead man flying.

Megan Maynard
Minmatar
Navigators of the Abyss
Posted - 2009.02.17 18:08:00 - [72]
 

Originally by: Thynar
Don't know about you others but suddenly got this urge to roll a Minmatar Very Happy


Don't resist, just DO IT.

Demitria Fernir
Caldari
Science and Trade Institute
Posted - 2009.02.17 18:09:00 - [73]
 

Edited by: Demitria Fernir on 17/02/2009 18:10:20
Tanking:

Amarr
"ARMOR TANK! OUR LORD SHALL PROVIDE!"

Minmatar
Speed changed to 26817 m/s

Gallente
"Let's hope our enemy runs out of shield before we run out of ammo"

Caldari
"Let's hope our enemy runs our of ammo before we run out of shield"

Thieving Monkey
Posted - 2009.02.17 18:16:00 - [74]
 

I lol'd.
Is the copper tubing a BSG/Chief Tyrol reference?
If so, 10/10. If not, then 8/10.

Megan Maynard
Minmatar
Navigators of the Abyss
Posted - 2009.02.17 18:20:00 - [75]
 

Originally by: Demitria Fernir
Edited by: Demitria Fernir on 17/02/2009 18:10:20
Tanking:

Amarr
"ARMOR TANK! OUR LORD SHALL PROVIDE!"

Minmatar
Speed changed to 26817 m/s

Gallente
"Let's hope our enemy runs out of shield before we run out of ammo"

Caldari
"Let's hope our enemy runs our of ammo before we run out of shield"


Did you just sum up the cold war in two sentences?

Aethrwolf
Caldari
Podrratu
Posted - 2009.02.17 18:30:00 - [76]
 

Originally by: Thieving Monkey
I lol'd.
Is the copper tubing a BSG/Chief Tyrol reference?
If so, 10/10. If not, then 8/10.


heh. you think BSG had the first Char. that improvised things? I would actually give a higher rating for a reference that goes farther back.. MacGuyver? Scotty?

3rd hour into a mission..
Mission runner.. Oops forgot to fire after locking them.
cloaked salvage thief.. Why doesnt he SHOOT something????

Drykor
Minmatar
Aperture Harmonics
K162
Posted - 2009.02.17 18:37:00 - [77]
 

Originally by: AnonyTerrorNinja
Edited by: AnonyTerrorNinja on 16/02/2009 03:06:53
weapons mount lubricant
Minmatar Engineer > We've run out of weapons grease, sir!
Minmatar Captain > Where's that stuff go again?
Minmatar Engineer > The buckets next to the artillery cannon mounts, sir!
Minmatar Captain > Get me the crew medic...
Minmatar Engineer > I don't think the medic is qualified to work with the guns, sir!
Minmatar Captain > It's not for the guns...



I don't get it..

Jerera
Minmatar
Posted - 2009.02.17 18:44:00 - [78]
 

Originally by: cpt Mark
I LOLD SO HARD


Yeah me too. Nice topic Razz

Kari Savage
Posted - 2009.02.17 20:07:00 - [79]
 

err...
Finding isogen-5
Amarr- oooh more fuel for ze abaddonz !
Caldari- ????, Profit !
Gallante- can we make this into beer?
Minmatar- oooh shiny....


Chestnut Stallion
Posted - 2009.02.20 06:31:00 - [80]
 

Just gotta bump this thread, I love it, About page 3 you start seeing repeats but at about 30 past midnight me and my wife where laughing our ass of at this page.. thanks much for all the great laughs :)



Lance Fighter
Amarr
Posted - 2009.02.20 06:45:00 - [81]
 

Exotic Dancers:

Amarr: I didnt need them anyway
Caldari: Damnit, could have sold them at the next dock for a good profit too!
Gallente: nooo the exotic dancers... you *points at female lieutenant* your promoted to exotic dancer!
Minmatar: Damnit just when we needed another deckhand to apply moar duct tape!

Naim Stargazer
Unity Thru Aggression
Unity Thru Aggression.
Posted - 2009.02.20 07:37:00 - [82]
 

Edited by: Naim Stargazer on 20/02/2009 07:38:40
On operating budget:

Amarr Navy: I've decided on the Statesman with the gold trimmings - we can hold one of the frigate designs to bring this under budget...

Caldari Navy: Holding Corporations held their annual Directors meeting on Thursday to discuss future ship designs for the Caldari Navy. Leaked internal memo's indicate a strong leaning toward a 'pilot pays' ammunition based offensive platform for upcoming designs.

Minmatar Navy: The Minmatar Navy are proud to announce the acquisition of 10 local scrapheaps, including franchise 'Joes Junk', which previously held the largest private contract with the Navy to date.

Gallente Navy: 78% of pilots in our recent poll indicated a preference toward the automated drones, with a mere 28% favoring the more 'hands-on' style of combat. It has been pointed out the newer model bays DO, in fact, have room for a pony.

wickedpheonix
Caldari
Guy Fawkes Trust Fund
31ST Reliables Division
Posted - 2009.02.20 07:59:00 - [83]
 

Edited by: wickedpheonix on 20/02/2009 08:00:14
Veldspar:

Amarr - throw the slaves in the reactor, they've got a little Veldspar!
Caldari - No worries, we'll just buy more
Gallente - Recent polls indicate that the populace thinks that Veldspar is not scarce, thus it isn't.
Minmatar - we're not really out, just take the Veldspar we were using to plug the holes in our ships

Chribba - NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Naim Stargazer
Unity Thru Aggression
Unity Thru Aggression.
Posted - 2009.02.20 08:09:00 - [84]
 

Edited by: Naim Stargazer on 20/02/2009 08:10:42
Edited by: Naim Stargazer on 20/02/2009 08:09:39
and another for fun (and yes i know the pilot is in a capsule and all - pretend he isnt for humor reasons):

Somewhere in wormhole space:

Caldari Lieutenant: Initial scans are coming in sir. Deep Space estimates at least a billion, if not more. Extrapolations based on known phenomena indicate several hundred million. In fact, every system is reporting ISK potential far in excess of our predictions...

Amarrian Lieutenant: We'll need to drop a signal emitter every 10 AU or so, or we'll be lost sir. They arent designed to survive deep space without shielding. May I suggest putting them in some expendable shielding, slaves perhaps?

Matari Captain: So, if I understand correctly here, you aren't sure whether that trail of debris is from us having gone around in circles, or whether it was there before?

Gallente Captain: hullo *hic* watsh thish playsh? Ferdinand mah friend! THAT wash shome trippy amonomomoly we entchered. *hic* *sobs* no partiesh on the bridsh they shaid.. we'll revoke your pilotsh lishenshe they shaid...

Joe Starbreaker
M. Corp
Posted - 2009.02.20 08:44:00 - [85]
 

A light bulb burns out:

Gallente: No way am I fixing that! That's not in my contract. Fix it yourself, captain, or I'm calling the union.

Caldari: Summon my accountant. Does our budget have room for this? What's the price of light bulbs? What would be the tax implications of deferring this to the next quarter?

Minmatar: Geez, it's getting dark in here. Somebody open a hatch on the sunny side, would ya?

Amarr: Captain, we've just lost turret four!

Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
Posted - 2009.02.20 08:48:00 - [86]
 

changing the formentioned lightbulb:

Gallente: Get me a T2 XZ-Micro Drone.
Caldari: Pay someone to fix that.
Amarr: Get me a slave.
Minmatar: Bloody Amarr...

AnonyTerrorNinja
Minmatar
Atomic Geese
Posted - 2009.02.20 14:00:00 - [87]
 

Originally by: Drykor
Originally by: AnonyTerrorNinja
Edited by: AnonyTerrorNinja on 16/02/2009 03:06:53
weapons mount lubricant
Minmatar Engineer > We've run out of weapons grease, sir!
Minmatar Captain > Where's that stuff go again?
Minmatar Engineer > The buckets next to the artillery cannon mounts, sir!
Minmatar Captain > Get me the crew medic...
Minmatar Engineer > I don't think the medic is qualified to work with the guns, sir!
Minmatar Captain > It's not for the guns...



I don't get it..



Think excessively thick (yes, thick) and strong coffee. Imagine the taste. Imagine a Brutor drinking coffee.

I, for one, doubt they'd notice the difference. ;3

Terianna Eri
Red Federation
RvB - RED Federation
Posted - 2009.02.20 17:21:00 - [88]
 

Originally by: Joe Starbreaker
A light bulb burns out:
Amarr: Captain, we've just lost turret four!

LaughingLaughing

Cool thread guys \o/

Drunk Driver
Gallente
Aliastra
Posted - 2009.02.20 17:26:00 - [89]
 

Originally by: Thargat
Capcaitor
Amarr
First Officer- "Captain, the generators aren't providing enough power!"
Captain- "The empress won't be as forgiving as I am"
First Officer- ".......hnnnnch"
Captain- "I want that power, not excuses"
New First Officer- "Yes captain, we shall triple our efforts"

Caldari
First Officer- "Captain, we forsee see a decline in supply vs demand of energy"
Captain- "Nonsense, get a cheaper contractor on the horn and order some more"

Gallente
First Officer- "Captain Elect, we'r outta cap"
Captain- "Is that really the general consensus of the crew?"
First Officer- "Sir, there's 49% for and 48% against while 1% remains undecided"
Captain- "Very well, we shall vote on this again on monday, you may address the crew"

Minmatar
Guy with ray-bans- "Hey you! Them bulbs r actin all funny un' we's loosin' speed"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Then lite sum torches n' git out n' push stopid" *returns to pulling levers to big ass gun*




Made me laugh.

Nice work!

Very Happy


destinationunreachable
Hello Kitty Fanclub
Posted - 2009.02.20 18:19:00 - [90]
 

why did the chicken cross the street:
Amarr: it was destined by the lord! Oh, not a Amarr chicken ? Someone must have ordered that slave chicken to do so!
Caldari: According to Caldari imperial regulations the other side of the street was a more effective way to proceed
Gallente: Would you mind letting me finish first my fine bottle of wine ???
Minmatar: the street was broken ? Of course you can fix a street with duct tape! The other day I was walking with a mate of mine...


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