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Tamir Lenk
Goonswarm Federation
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:15:00 - [1]

So here is the story:

So here is how it began.

Step One - Scam Failure

So I was cruising recruitment channel this weekend with my neutral alt looking for tasty morsels. I see a guy looking for a high/low sec mining corp. I convo him and ask if 0.0 mining would be attractive. (if only I had these chat logs but v0v).

The mark is very interested.

The mark has 4 million skillpoints and flies a retriever. Good, good. Can I get that API key because, you know, spiez. Sure. Sadness. The API key shows that the kid has no real ISK. He has been very straightforward so far and pretty cool in chat. I am now agonizing over which way to go with this. I ask for the 100 million.

He considers. It is taking awhile, but he is being pretty chill about it. Not indignant about the security deposit but instead tries work it out with me. I decide to switch to recruit mode.

Before I can make that switch in chat, the guy puts in an application and sends me 50 mil, explaining that he is willing to come up with the rest by mining.

I am impressed with his initiative. This guy could be pretty cool in corp. The scam is going nowhere. I refund the 50 million (no scamming blues) and accept his application. I congratulate him on his demeanor, admit that I was scamming him but had a change of heart. He thanks me and asks why I let him in. I call it karma.

Step Two - Clumsy Recruitment

RL keeps me from EVE for a day. While I am away, my new recruit comes down to our space, receives a new mining barge from the corp and a quick tour of where we mine. He is eager but not starry-eyed, and people seem to like him.

On Tuesday, I log in and get two convos within 30 seconds. First, an IGNE director asks me about the new guy. Turns out he had some red in his history, not straight hostile but he was in a corp that red but left before the corp went red. Something like that. The director has removed his roles (basic hangar, nothing special) and wants my input on kicking him before GIA get all over our backs for stupidly recruiting reds. lol IGNE, etc.

Step Three - Win EVE

At this point, the situation is embarrassing but NBD. That would be the end of it except for that other convo. It's from the newbie recruit.

Chat **** in next reply

is 4porn
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:19:00 - [2]

ITT: Bob ragequitter was a miner, real miners join goon and not bob

Ni Gaplees
Universal Business Systems
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:20:00 - [3]

Edited by: Ni Gaplees on 05/02/2009 23:20:24
woot ShockedTwisted Evil

Tamir Lenk
Goonswarm Federation
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:20:00 - [4]

Chat ****

[01:30:29] Tamir Lenk > what's up
[01:30:46] Harkani > uhh
[01:30:47] Harkani > m
[01:31:03] Harkani > how happy would you be if I could provide intel about bob?
[01:31:46] Tamir Lenk > depends
[01:31:55] Tamir Lenk > how do you have intel on BoB
[01:32:46] Harkani > ok I am going to be completly honest with you
[01:32:52] Tamir Lenk > uh oh . . .
[01:33:10] Harkani > my main character is in bob, director, full access to forums and irc and I am sick of the **** there
[01:33:19] Harkani > so Im willing to be a spy for you guys
[01:33:35] Tamir Lenk >

Seriously, I am sweating bullets now. One convo is grilling me about some minor red history about a guy who just outed himself as a BoB director.

I recruited a f***ing BoB director.

What the hell will I do when Goons kick me? I start looking at other MMOs . . .

[01:35:05] Harkani > Im pretty much sick of everyone thinking bob is awesome when really the average member is ******ed now and the leadership is all emo and cant even stick to a f***ing plan
[01:35:33] Tamir Lenk > how the hell did I change my mind about scamming you and you now tell me you are a BoB director
[01:35:46] Harkani > I have no idea
[01:36:00] Harkani > but I can provide really good intel
[01:36:03] Tamir Lenk > who is this main of yours?
[01:36:06] Harkani > and I like it here so far :s
[01:36:24] Tamir Lenk > because my paranoia meter is off the charts
[01:36:29] Harkani > well Id rather no one knows besides you and me
[01:36:40] Harkani > but i can log him in and invite him here if you want
[01:37:17] Tamir Lenk > don't do that quite yet . . . not trying to be in a chat with BoB directorate
[01:37:26] Tamir Lenk > give me a second to digest

OK, how the hell is this not a #$^#%@ set up. He says he is ready to spy, but WTF do I know about spying? Even if he gave me piles of intel, I am too stupid to know what to do with it. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.

Anyway, I don't want to be the guy that recruited a BoB director, and I am waaay skeptical about this "prize." Seriously, good things do not happen to me. OTOH, I don't want to be the moron that passed on a potential brass ring of intel. So I take a stab at damage control.

[01:40:58] Tamir Lenk > well, first of all, you know I cannot give you roles or hangar access at all now, right
[01:41:11] Harkani > yeah thats fine
[01:41:31] Harkani > take away my roles its no big deal
[01:41:46] Harkani > well and kick me if you want, but that will be your loss :P
[01:42:19] Tamir Lenk > you're killing me on that front
[01:42:29] Harkani > how so?
[01:42:34] Tamir Lenk > you tempt my tummy with delicious intel
[01:42:41] Harkani >
[01:42:53] Tamir Lenk > but the timing of all this screams DANGER DANGER

Time to get some back up. More to follow.

Tamir Lenk
Goonswarm Federation
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:25:00 - [5]

So I pull in IGNE management on IM.


(8:56:13 PM) Aaron Static: oh s***
(8:56:15 PM) Aaron Static: lol
(8:57:23 PM) tamir_lenk: this s*** hits me like 10 seconds after I log in
(8:57:29 PM) Aaron Static: um ok
(8:57:36 PM) Aaron Static: gimme an hour
(8:57:47 PM) Aaron Static: im gonna have to involve GIA
(8:58:21 PM) tamir_lenk: purge him to end of the eart, I got nothing in this guy
(8:58:24 PM) tamir_lenk: earth [edit: sorry to doubt you, Harkani ugh]
(8:59:14 PM) Aaron Static: in discussion with mittens
(9:00:00 PM) tamir_lenk: bring him in, he will know whether there is anything to do here
(9:00:08 PM) tamir_lenk: I got no ideas
(9:00:20 PM) Aaron Static: what corp
(9:00:27 PM) Aaron Static: is the guys main in
(9:02:56 PM) tamir_lenk: dunno, he did not give up the main, I can get him to invite that char to the chat
(9:03:17 PM) Aaron Static: please
(9:03:17 PM) tamir_lenk: but I was staying away cuz DANGER DANGER and all
(9:03:19 PM) tamir_lenk: will do

Now benefiting from some direction, I go back to the recruit.


[02:10:28] Tamir Lenk > so why serve all this up to me? I am sexy and all, but you didn't know that
[02:11:36] Haargoth Agamar > because Ive been thinking about leaving bob but I really had nowhere to go, I like the guys in your corp so far and wanted to stay
[02:12:01] Haargoth Agamar > and I just got sick of bob members being arrogant f***ing ******s
[02:12:08] Haargoth Agamar > and the leadership always being idiots
[02:12:16] Haargoth Agamar > I just want to be a grunt and shoot s***
[02:12:21] Haargoth Agamar > without OMG WE ARE BETTER THEN YOU
[02:12:28] Haargoth Agamar > and I still want to be in 0.0
[02:12:36] Haargoth Agamar > and its either bob or the coalition
[02:12:39] Haargoth Agamar > so yea
[02:12:59] Tamir Lenk > hurm
[02:13:45] Haargoth Agamar > I know that even if this works Ill never get trusted with anything leadership related but thats fine with me
[02:14:30] Haargoth Agamar > when I joined bnc nobody cared that a new guy was there
[02:14:34] Haargoth Agamar > and pretty much ignored me
[02:14:38] Haargoth Agamar > when Harkani joined igne
[02:14:48] Haargoth Agamar > everyone is trying to help me out and generally being nice and friendly
[02:14:54] Haargoth Agamar > its a pretty nice change
[02:16:40] Tamir Lenk > yeah, well we hate BoB for a reason

This all sounds good, but still too good. We are so far above my pay-grade. Let's see if he is a director.

[02:18:01] Tamir Lenk > quick verification test
[02:18:32] Tamir Lenk > What is the name of the BoB Alliance Director Forum?
[02:18:52] Haargoth Agamar > <br>La Barra De Los Jefes
[02:19:04] Haargoth Agamar > with 1 person viewing atm
[02:19:14] Haargoth Agamar > <br>Moving forward in the south<br>by Dianabolic<br>Today 18:03 Go to last post
[02:19:17] Haargoth Agamar > latest post

Sonofa*****, the guy is legit. I look for more guidance in IM:

(9:14:01 PM) tamir_lenk: If there is anything to do here, this guy needs a handler
(9:14:07 PM) Aaron Static: handler?
(9:14:23 PM) tamir_lenk: Someone smarter than me to receive and process intel
(9:14:27 PM) tamir_lenk: spy handler
(9:14:31 PM) tamir_lenk: ala Mittens
(9:14:50 PM) Aaron Static: its cool
(9:14:51 PM) tamir_lenk: I don't know what the hell to do with this s***

More to come

Tamir Lenk
Goonswarm Federation
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:27:00 - [6]

Scrambling to get this guy into the right hands (definitely not mine) and further verify his status.

[02:19:55] Haargoth Agamar > oh and atlas is moving to querious
[02:20:20] Haargoth Agamar > this weekend
[02:21:22] Tamir Lenk > Now that I made it to station, I can focus a little more. how would you give access to this intel?
[02:21:42] Tamir Lenk > forums and IRC etc.?
[02:22:13] Haargoth Agamar > well Id give intel to you, you can give it to whatever intel guys you have
[02:23:00] Haargoth Agamar > I dont really want anyone to know who my main is besides you and very few others
[02:23:30] Haargoth Agamar > Im sure you can understand why
[02:23:37] Tamir Lenk > if this is going to work, we all need to keep that under wraps
[02:24:05] Haargoth Agamar > and it could work really really well if we do it right
[02:24:40] Tamir Lenk > but I am not a power-Goon, so intel in my hands is kind of useless
[02:25:16] Tamir Lenk > I can deliver intel to the right people, and can be the go-between to keep a lid on things
[02:25:35] Harkani > that would be good
[02:25:36] Tamir Lenk > that will keep the players under wraps
[02:26:01] Harkani > the only real issue I see, is if I get busted,I would want to join igne with all my chars
[02:26:17] Tamir Lenk > downside is that it puts added time and degrees of separation between the intel and those who use it
[02:26:33] Harkani > hmm that is true
[02:27:08] Tamir Lenk > I wish we had teamspeak for this, give me second

By now some real Goons are involved. The wise and ancient Mittani arrives. He and our new recruit make sweet sweet love. They have a beautiful love child, one truly touched by the gods.

You may have read about it.

phoenix fireball
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:33:00 - [7]

there is no bob?

The Mittani
Goonswarm Federation
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:34:00 - [8]

tamir lenk: one humble goon scammer topples an empire~~

Posted - 2009.02.05 23:36:00 - [9]

Edited by: Ungdall on 05/02/2009 23:36:04
Could this be considered the American Dream?

look mittenz we're sig buddies

Jared D'Uroth
Pandemic Legion
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:37:00 - [10]

Edited by: Jared D''Uroth on 05/02/2009 23:37:07
First page in an epic thread.

Geb's Call
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:37:00 - [11]

Not bad, make a better one though, some timings aren't perfect yet ^^ -> You guys keep on amazing me tbh ^^

AC Resonance
Sebiestor Tribe
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:38:00 - [12]

All because he resisted his natural goon inclination to scam a pubbie.

The tale is both Epic and Awesome at the same time.

Its Awepic.

Darth Syphils
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:39:00 - [13]

1st page

Scott Ryder
Ministry of War
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:41:00 - [14]

Good read.
It was indeed karma smiling upon you.

Caldari Provisions
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:42:00 - [15]

constructive post

Malignant Enterprises
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:44:00 - [16]

Tildes are really cool~~~

Friends of Honor
Bang Bang You're Dead
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:44:00 - [17]


Black Pants Legion
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:44:00 - [18]

i want to be in goonswarm too! my alliance hates me Crying or Very sad

Khandara Seraphim
Fallout Project
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:46:00 - [19]

Interesting read.... if true

first page reserved

AC Resonance
Sebiestor Tribe
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:46:00 - [20]

Originally by: Doswidanja
i want to be in goonswarm too! my alliance hates me Crying or Very sad


everyone hates you


just kidding

Very Happy

or am I?

Epegi Givo
Department of Redundancy Dpt.
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:49:00 - [21]

nice job goonies.

Goberth Ludwig
Pandemic Legion
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:59:00 - [22]

Lokkit that little bee carrying out his duty o> o> o>

- Gob

Remus Navillum
Phoenix Industries
Wicked Nation
Posted - 2009.02.05 23:59:00 - [23]

Edited by: Remus Navillum on 06/02/2009 00:00:07
First page in an epic thread? [Edit] YEP.

Anyway, congratulations on finding the solid diamond needle in the haystack. Ya done good.

Posted - 2009.02.06 00:00:00 - [24]


Posted - 2009.02.06 00:01:00 - [25]

Originally by: Goberth Ludwig
Lokkit that little bee carrying out his duty o> o> o>

- Gob

More like failure of goon principles. He chose not to scam after all.

Goonswarm Federation
Posted - 2009.02.06 00:02:00 - [26]

Goons didn't kill BoB.

IGNE did.

Goberth Ludwig
Pandemic Legion
Posted - 2009.02.06 00:04:00 - [27]

One thing doesnt add up tho.

This guy was going to get scammed 50 mil by a goon recruiter. Everybody who has been even marginally active in eve / forums know that goons routinely run recruitment scams. Was this director inactive or like, living under a rock? How did he nearly fall for the goon scamming him on recruitment?

- Gob

Highlord Nicolai
Fidelas Constans
Posted - 2009.02.06 00:05:00 - [28]

Edited by: Highlord Nicolai on 06/02/2009 00:06:46
I check this: linky. everyday... and today I almost wet myself.

I'm not into this whole alliance thing, and I know this is probably far from over... but I never thought I'd see the influrance map look like that in my eve time.

Thanks for the experience.

Sunglasses InSpace
The Sexy Carebear Boredom Convention
Posted - 2009.02.06 00:08:00 - [29]

Toasting in an epic bread

Devian 666
Posted - 2009.02.06 00:08:00 - [30]

IGNE is justified in promoting Tamir to director of mouth ****.

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