Ok this is one of Leonstein's fav's so here goes...
There's a guy somewhere in Texas, he's a nice guy lots of friends, you know the type. Everyone loves him, he's got a nice gun collection, 44.'s and 45.'s in handgun size. Pillar of the community...etc...
One day he starts getting nose bleeds, now i'm talking solid pouring nose bleeds, the kind that soak a hanky and then some. Obviously he visits the Doctor and his worst fears are confirmed. Brain Tumour and worse it's inoperable. Now unfortunately for him he's a smoker and his life insurance doesn't cover any forms of Cancer / Tumours so he's feeling kinda screwed. He speaks to a lawyer friend of his and they find some kinda' loophole that means as strange as it is while he isn't covered for Cancer he is covered for suicide
So he sits himself at home one quiet day with the kids at school and his wife at work. His friends next door waiting to call an ambulance knowing full well what the guys about to do. He takes a deep breath, puts his favourite 44. to his head, kisses a picture of his wife and kids....BANG!!!!
Then something unexpected happens, he wakes up
It's a couple of months later, he's in hospital and he's very much alive. In confusion he starts to panic and a Doctor comes in (Just doing his rounds as luck would have it) and tells him to calm down its ok. Apparently the 44. round went into his head at an angle due to skull deflection (How a 44. could deflect off the skull at that range i have NO idea) went across the top of his brain destroying some grey matter he wasnt using and get this, it blew the tumour to pieces, deflected enough to miss the rest of his brain and exitted the other side. Now everyone's happy and the guy NEVER fires his lucky 44. again but instead gives it as a joke to the Doctor who told him his tumour was inoperable
Dont you just love a happy ending