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blankseplocked [Service] Jump Clones -- *no* corp leave/join required!
 
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MailDeadDrop
Rage and Terror
Posted - 2008.06.27 21:37:00 - [1]
 

Edited by: MailDeadDrop on 30/10/2008 17:10:25
Do you want a jump clone, but don't have 8.0+ standing with a corp that has medical facilities? Can't be bothered to grind missions to get the 8.0+ standing? Unwilling or unable to change corps to one of the several specialty corps that exist to sell jump clones?

Have we got a deal for you!

We can sell you a jump clone today. Yes, TODAY. No more crawling to the mission agent's office to get yet another mission. You can tell him/her to GET STUFFED. No 24-hour delay while your current corp checks it's inventory before letting you join another corp. I mean, if they don't trust you, why'd they let you join in the first place?

Here's what you need to do:
  1. Train Infomorph Psychology to one level beyond the number of jump clones you have now. (Examples: no clones? Train to level 1. You already have 2 clones? Train to level 3.)
  2. Contact me, MailDeadDrop, to arrange to get the clone. You can Eve mail me or convo me; I'm generally online beginning 02:00 Eve time. We will both need to be online at the same time for the clone to be transferred.
  3. Meet me in the Derelik region (exact system varies). You will be escorted through a NBSI area to a clone vat bay. You'll get your clone there.
  4. You'll then be escorted out of the NBSI area to dock at a nearby highsec station.
  5. Once docked, you'll jump to the clone. You'll appear in space in a pod. Fly to the nearby station to receive your complimentary shuttle. If you have a specific ship you'd like, let me know ahead of time and I'll ensure that one is for sale at the station for you. Or you can take the rookie ship.
  6. Your new clone will be escorted out of the NBSI area again.


If you think I'm pulling your leg, see my competitor's offer here.

"So what's all this cost?" you ask. Good question. If you read my competitor's offer, you'll see he charges 20M ISK. I know of one alliance (CVA) that will sell you a jump clone for 15M, but you've got to make your way to a 0.0 outpost.

Me? Like many Intaki's, I'm a man of modest needs. I'll sell you one clone for the low, low price of 8M ISK.

"What's the catch?" you ask. Only one: you can only get one clone from me once per 24 hours. This is because I don't keep the clone vat bay powered up all the time, and you can't jump to it when it is offline. Which means you must take the clone at the time you buy it (as outlined above). And since you can only clone jump once per 24 hours, I'll only sell you one every 24 hours.

"What about the lowsec travel? Couldn't I get attacked?" Yep. I guarantee you won't be attacked by my corp or alliance, and I'll attempt to dissuade people with whom we have NAPs to leave you alone while we're doing this. But standard lowsec rules still apply (i.e. don't bring a ship you aren't prepared to lose.)

"This sounds like a good deal. Can I get a quantity discount for my corp?" Sure. If you bring 10 people wanting clones, I'll knock off 1M (so 7M each).

MDD
10/30/2008 Edit: include complimentary shuttle offer, change procedure to indicate that the customer is escorted but not necessarily by me, fixed spelling error ("close" -> "clone")

MailDeadDrop
Rage and Terror
Posted - 2008.06.27 21:38:00 - [2]
 

Edited by: MailDeadDrop on 17/02/2009 17:15:06
Service unavailable at this time.
MDD

Zaintiraris
Caldari
The Collective
Against ALL Authorities
Posted - 2008.06.27 23:33:00 - [3]
 

How do they maintain such low, low prices!?

Volume, Volume, VOLUME!!

Literally, come get one before the bulkheads holding all the bodies they've got ready explode in a horrific mess.*

*Note: Next week's special - 500 Liters of Borscht!

Princess Kyky
Posted - 2008.06.27 23:57:00 - [4]
 

i'm intrested in this, will contact you in a few hourss!

Tchell Dahhn
Suddenly Ninjas
Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service
Posted - 2008.06.28 01:15:00 - [5]
 

As one of the first respondents, I must commend the professionalism of MailDeadDrop and his Corp, for the entire process was mostly painless!

I met him (22 jumps out, ugh) in the last highsec system before some losec jumps, and was escorted in fleet to their nullsec POS, where I was met by their Rorqual (Nice ship! I took a screenie, heh!) with Mobile Clone Bay.

A few moments later, my Clone had been created, and we jumped back into highsec to Clone Jump into my new body. I found myself in my Pod in space, where I warped to the Station and nabbed myself a Shuttle. (The CEO of Suddenly Ninjas in an Impairor? I don't think so!)

I was escorted back through nullsec and losec to the highsec station, where I docked up and logged for the night.

Everything went pretty smoothly, save for the Pirates in the system when we originally docked up in losec, but that's another story. It caused a bit of a delay, but nothing more.

I was extremely happy with the services provided, and definitely recommend MailDeadDrop and his Corp to anyone wishing to do the same. Great price, great service, and overall, a great experience!

Suddenly Ninjas wholeheartedly supports this product and/or service!

Tchell Dahhn, CEO
Suddenly Ninjas

Cool

J Freddie
Deadly Viper Kitten Mitten Sewing Company
Posted - 2008.06.28 04:19:00 - [6]
 

Just bought two clones, and have plans to get at least two more. It works just like they said it would, and obviously the main selling point of this service is that you don't get an extra entry in your employment history.

Honestly, the escort service they offer isn't even necessary. Just grab a shuttle and fly over. If you can't make it past even the most hardcore gatecamp in lowsec flying in a shuttle, then there's something horribly wrong with you, and I'd have to say you're going to the wrong type of medical facility if that's the case.

Elaine Celeste
Celeste Industries
Posted - 2008.06.28 05:40:00 - [7]
 

Edited by: Elaine Celeste on 28/06/2008 05:40:47
A lovely bunch of people that escorted me through low-sec with 8 pink carriers... but I'm pretty sure MaildeadDrop took a peek at my naked clone before I picked her up. Embarassed

I was highly satisfied, and I will be back for more clones soon.

MailDeadDrop
Rage and Terror
Posted - 2008.06.28 15:53:00 - [8]
 

"Hello, you have reached the Entity jump clone service. We're sorry, but because of technical difficulties the service will be unavailable until approximately 02:00 Eve time Monday. If you would like us to contact you when the service is back online, please leave us a message. BEEEP."

"There, that should do it" thought MailDeadDrop. "Now to find the number of the bartender who was working last night..."

MailDeadDrop knew the bar that Zain liked to frequent and brag about his most recent conquest or hijinks. "Hopefully he'll tell me who Zain went home with last night for 10,000 isk or so."

Zain had to be found and secreted away before Akilli heard about Zain's latest escapade. After the incident with the ipecac-laced vanilla flavoring in his pod fluid, Akilli had threatened to cut off Zain's hands if he touched his ship again, and MailDeadDrop was concerned that the imposing and ill-tempered Intaki would make good on his threat. Still, it *was* pretty darned funny to see Akilli's Megathron lurching about as he struggled to get into docking range of the station. He'd been laid up in the station infirmary for nearly 2 days, and even the station waste recycling plant supervisor had refused to accept the used pod fluid.

MailDeadDrop had to chuckle at Zain's logic though. "If lowsec travel makes you queasy, then imagine, just *imagine* how much better you'll feel escorted by ``Pepto carriers''! I'm brilliant!" Zain had exclaimed. The bribes to the station security officer and the maintenance hangar chief to get the ships all cleaned up & re-painted overnight had been outrageous, but MailDeadDrop had charged them to the corporate account. "Let Zain explain *that* to the directors", he mused. But he'd snapped a few vids for his personal scrapbook before the evidence was washed away. "Pepto carriers indeed..."

The clone vat bay damage was another matter. The ship's engineer and the station repair shop manager had both assured him that the ship captain's personal clone was undamaged. "It wouldn't do to annoy him. No, not a good thing at all..." But the citric acid in the lemon gelatin had wreaked havoc on the vat's seals, and a completely new set had to be ordered and installed. "36 hours of downtime. Dammit Zain! Your hijinks interfered with the corporate commerce, and that's just not acceptable!" MailDeadDrop screamed internally. And for what? Just so Zain could get his jollies with the Celeste sisters. And they weren't even conscious. "Might as well have been screwing corpses," thought MailDeadDrop.

With a slight shudder, MailDeadDrop forced his thoughts back to the present. "Well, well, well. Lookie here. Looks like the clone vat bay security cameras were malfunctioning that night," as MailDeadDrop pressed the Delete key. "Good thing I have a copy", patting his pocket and the vid memory chip within. "Maybe I can sell it to the `adult film' producers out in Curse. It'd be good to makeup the lost revenue from Zain's antics." He whistled absentmindedly while scanning the station directory for the bartender. "George something. Matari family name. Hm hm hmmmm"

Elaine Celeste
Celeste Industries
Posted - 2008.06.28 16:44:00 - [9]
 

Originally by: MailDeadDrop
"Hello, you have reached the Entity jump clone service. We're sorry, but because of technical difficulties the service will be unavailable until approximately 02:00 Eve time Monday. If you would like us to contact you when the service is back online, please leave us a message. BEEEP."

"There, that should do it" thought MailDeadDrop. "Now to find the number of the bartender who was working last night..."

MailDeadDrop knew the bar that Zain liked to frequent and brag about his most recent conquest or hijinks. "Hopefully he'll tell me who Zain went home with last night for 10,000 isk or so."

Zain had to be found and secreted away before Akilli heard about Zain's latest escapade. After the incident with the ipecac-laced vanilla flavoring in his pod fluid, Akilli had threatened to cut off Zain's hands if he touched his ship again, and MailDeadDrop was concerned that the imposing and ill-tempered Intaki would make good on his threat. Still, it *was* pretty darned funny to see Akilli's Megathron lurching about as he struggled to get into docking range of the station. He'd been laid up in the station infirmary for nearly 2 days, and even the station waste recycling plant supervisor had refused to accept the used pod fluid.

MailDeadDrop had to chuckle at Zain's logic though. "If lowsec travel makes you queasy, then imagine, just *imagine* how much better you'll feel escorted by ``Pepto carriers''! I'm brilliant!" Zain had exclaimed. The bribes to the station security officer and the maintenance hangar chief to get the ships all cleaned up & re-painted overnight had been outrageous, but MailDeadDrop had charged them to the corporate account. "Let Zain explain *that* to the directors", he mused. But he'd snapped a few vids for his personal scrapbook before the evidence was washed away. "Pepto carriers indeed..."

The clone vat bay damage was another matter. The ship's engineer and the station repair shop manager had both assured him that the ship captain's personal clone was undamaged. "It wouldn't do to annoy him. No, not a good thing at all..." But the citric acid in the lemon gelatin had wreaked havoc on the vat's seals, and a completely new set had to be ordered and installed. "36 hours of downtime. Dammit Zain! Your hijinks interfered with the corporate commerce, and that's just not acceptable!" MailDeadDrop screamed internally. And for what? Just so Zain could get his jollies with the Celeste sisters. And they weren't even conscious. "Might as well have been screwing corpses," thought MailDeadDrop.

With a slight shudder, MailDeadDrop forced his thoughts back to the present. "Well, well, well. Lookie here. Looks like the clone vat bay security cameras were malfunctioning that night," as MailDeadDrop pressed the Delete key. "Good thing I have a copy", patting his pocket and the vid memory chip within. "Maybe I can sell it to the `adult film' producers out in Curse. It'd be good to makeup the lost revenue from Zain's antics." He whistled absentmindedly while scanning the station directory for the bartender. "George something. Matari family name. Hm hm hmmmm"



OMG Crying or Very sad

Zaintiraris
Caldari
The Collective
Against ALL Authorities
Posted - 2008.06.30 06:21:00 - [10]
 

*Zain sits happily, laying on a beach with a couple of Celeste clones, eating a hyooge bowl of lemon jello - blissfully unaware that anyone is annoyed at all.

J Freddie
Deadly Viper Kitten Mitten Sewing Company
Posted - 2008.06.30 06:47:00 - [11]
 

Edited by: J Freddie on 30/06/2008 06:51:05
I offer ten million ISK for that video memory chip! I will offer another twenty for, how should I call this, a "tour" of your facilities. Give me a ring-ding-ding-a-ling if you are interested.

On a related note, whatever has transpired has not affected me in the slightest bit (probably because I managed to get my order in before Saturday). Because ignorance is bliss, I will reiterate that Archon Industries' service has been impeccable, and recommended to all. I have purchased yet another clone at their secure location.

There is, however, something that I feel must be brought to your attention. I cannot yet figure out what is bothering me, but something is not right with the latest clone that you fellows have sold me. I am perplexed as to what it is, but something just feels...different.

*In deep thought, J Freddie runs his hands across his supple bosom.*

No, I am sure it is nothing. It is probably all in my mind after an exhausting week of repeatedly having my conscience transported across the universe. Yes, I am sure that must be it.

MailDeadDrop
Rage and Terror
Posted - 2008.06.30 23:14:00 - [12]
 

MailDeadDrop was rubbing his forehead, trying to stave off the headache lurking just below the surface of his perception, when the GalNET message arrived. When he saw the sender's name, he snapped awake. “Elaine Celeste,” he muttered aloud. She and her sister had been two of the first paying customers to the alliance’s jump clone service. They’d also been the unwitting puppets in Zain’s “sexcapade” a few nights earlier. With a certain trepidation, he opened the message.

“What have you done?!” Elaine shouted. “I depend upon my reputation as a businesswoman. I bought a clone from you expecting high quality service, and yet my sister and I now appear in some trashy skin flick? You rat-fink!”

The headache was now in full bloom.

“Well,” he thought, “first rule of business in Eve: when confronted, deny everything. And if you can’t cleanly deny, then be as misleading and evasive as possible.” He composed a reply:

Quote:
Dear Elaine,
I’m sorry you are unhappy with your clone, but I have no idea what you are talking about. I assure you the clone was produced within the capital ship you saw using the utmost care. As far as I know, the ship captain and his corp have no connection to any “skin flick” production, and obviously would have no interest in sabotaging their own business venture.

We also have every reason to protect our reputation. If I were you, I wouldn’t go around making baseless accusations. If you defame our venture with your baseless tales, we will be forced to take legal measures.

Regards,
MailDeadDrop


When he’d sold the surveillance videos, MailDeadDrop’s contact in the Kraftwerk Studios had assured him that they would digitally alter the Celeste sisters’ appearance. Apparently Kraftwerk Studios had cut a few more corners in their production process. MailDeadDrop made a mental note to mete out a suitable punishment for their incompetence.

Zain snored briefly in the adjacent bedroom, loud enough to distract MailDeadDrop. When he’d finally found Zain, he was sleeping off the effects of the prior night’s debauchery. The burly Minmatar bodyguard visibly grimaced at the stench of spice wine and artificial lemon gelatin as he hefted Zain from the well-used bed. Zain had even briefly roused, mumbling something about rubbing “more suntan lotion on you girls”.

They’d found Zain before receiving the ship captain’s message about taking a 3-day shore leave. “If I’d gotten the message earlier,” thought MailDeadDrop, “you’d *still* be sleeping in that prostitute’s flat. Honestly, with as much isk as you’ve cost me over the years, I don’t know why I keep you alive.” Zain snored loudly in reply.

When the GalNET reader beeped a "message received", MailDeadDrop could only wonder what snafu awaited him this time...

MailDeadDrop
Rage and Terror
Posted - 2008.07.02 17:15:00 - [13]
 

"Everything go ok while I was gone?" the Rorqual captain asked as he stepped out of the shuttle.

MailDeadDrop winced at the question. The "lemon gelatin" incident had been a fiasco, with the Celeste sisters complaining bitterly about their unwanted inclusion in a cheesy "adult film" from Kraftwerk Studios. But a little legal saber rattling and a promised discount on future clones had smoothed things over with them it appeared.

And then they'd discovered the "oopsie!" in the clone vat settings. It was unclear if somehow Zain had changed it during his midnight romp in the vat, or if one of the maintenance techs had inadvertently changed it while cleaning & re-calibrating the vat. But the net effect was a bit of gender ambiguity in the produced clones, with nominally "female" clones produced with full beards. But that wasn't the worst of it. Nominally "male" clones were popping out with substantial, uh, "bosoms"! ˇAye Carumba!

A quick search of the sales records turned up only one affected clone, and when contacted to arrange a warranty replacement, the current owner remarked that he'd prefer to keep it. MailDeadDrop was dubious of the proffered reason ("For sentimental reasons," he'd said), but so long as the customer was happy, MailDeadDrop was too.

And it appeared the good luck was lingering, as the captain had chosen that precise moment to glance back, reaching for the oddly-shaped parcel behind him, and had missed the tell-tale wince. "Fine, fine," MailDeadDrop quickly stammered. "But it's good to have you back: we've got customers waiting to buy clones. Whatcha got there?"

"A present for you: I made a side trip to Renyn to get you a basket of those Gallente citrus fruits you like so much. There's mercots, clementines, and a bunch of lemons in there. Just a token thank you for your hard work." MailDeadDrop nearly fainted on the spot.

"You've *no* idea" thought MailDeadDrop...

Sang Jin
Gallente
Heretic Army
B A N E
Posted - 2008.07.09 03:28:00 - [14]
 

Just got my clone and i couldn't be happier. Highly recommended.

Tchell Dahhn
Suddenly Ninjas
Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service
Posted - 2008.07.09 17:20:00 - [15]
 

"Archon Industries is the Official Jumpclone provider of Suddenly Ninjas".

Tell them Tchell sent you!

Very Happy

(There we go. I'll expect my commission check in the mail!)

MailDeadDrop
Rage and Terror
Posted - 2008.07.09 22:47:00 - [16]
 

Originally by: Tchell Dahhn
(There we go. I'll expect my commission check in the mail!)

Being the penny-pincher Intaki that I am, I decided to save on the Interbus shipping fees (those thieves!) and instead sent the check with your corpmate Sang Jin. So talk to him.Laughing

MDD

Psychotic Outcast
Posted - 2008.07.11 03:24:00 - [17]
 

SmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmile


Very Happy with this service.

Quick, Cheap as hell, and very easy.


This guy rocks hard!

I give hime 10 out of 10 stars.





Daplat Mode
Mountain Militia
Mountain Sprouts
Posted - 2008.07.11 16:09:00 - [18]
 

A great bunch of guys here, safe and efficient!
Some things in New Eden can be inconveniant as an outlaw, but
this service was fast and easy.
I highly recommend this service to anyone seeking JC's.
10/10

Thanks guys!

=dp=

Ikaa LoveYums
Caldari
Perkone
Posted - 2008.07.11 19:15:00 - [19]
 

Edited by: Ikaa LoveYums on 11/07/2008 19:14:57
Giving a bump for an awesome service, I had my first clone up and running (heh) in no time.

The only complaint that I have is that MDD wouldn't let me take the Rorqual for a joyride ugh

That didn't make any happy in my pants MDD Crying or Very sad

(Mebbe tonite when I get my second clone Cool)

Psycho Storm
Absent Doom
Posted - 2008.07.18 03:31:00 - [20]
 

Got my clone.

A helluva lot faster than missioning for 2 months :)

Kaptain Kruncher
Posted - 2008.07.20 08:15:00 - [21]
 

Got my clone last night. Excellent service. Fast, efficient, courteous. Safely escorted to and from lowsec. Great way to get your JC if you don't have the standings and don't want to leave your corp. My corp is in wardec so I needed that JC quick and without leaving my corp for the process. Price is definately right.

Will use again. Thanks!

Don Diablo
Posted - 2008.07.21 14:16:00 - [22]
 

Mail sent.

Don Diablo
Posted - 2008.07.22 05:15:00 - [23]
 

Great service, fast and professional.

Yurda Dei
Gallente
Central Logistics and Insider Trading Corp
Posted - 2008.07.23 06:39:00 - [24]
 

Despite my bungling, MailDeadDrop and crew provided highly professional service and talked me through each step. I would highly recommend their services to anyone.

Malande
Amarr
Galactic Express
Intrepid Crossing
Posted - 2008.08.08 17:27:00 - [25]
 

Since Tchell cant be everywhere at once guess i'll cover the bumping service this time ^^

Kano Sekor
Amarr
Burning Steel Inc.
Posted - 2008.08.11 11:24:00 - [26]
 

Hi i need a clone but i need to get it at EU time zone gaming hours i.e. 1800-2200 Eve time plx do any other corp that offer this service do this at these times?

MailDeadDrop
Rage and Terror
Posted - 2008.08.12 04:35:00 - [27]
 

Originally by: Kano Sekor
Hi i need a clone but i need to get it at EU time zone gaming hours i.e. 1800-2200 Eve time plx do any other corp that offer this service do this at these times?

I've asked our European subsidiary to contact you.

MDD

stunna13
Solar Wind
AAA Citizens
Posted - 2008.08.14 17:38:00 - [28]
 

well well bro... you have a good business going... keep up the good work!!!

Seventoo Offcolour
Suddenly Ninjas
Posted - 2008.08.16 18:33:00 - [29]
 

Suddenly Jumpcloned !

Awesome escorting service, detailed "how to´s" and overall friendly service !


Zio Zero
Posted - 2008.08.16 21:53:00 - [30]
 

Great service, thanks for the clone!


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