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Pulgor
Posted - 2004.02.26 06:52:00 - [1]
 

Edited by: Pulgor on 26/02/2004 06:58:03
Pulgor and the return of the Giant Space Wasps!

“What’s a space wasp?”

“It’s like a normal wasp, but really really big.”

”How big?”

“Really big”

-- Not so scientific dissertation on Space Wasps, Gallante Prime meeting of the average joe’s.
________________________________________________

“Pulgor! You’ll pay for this!” The pirate screamed.

“How? How will I pay for this. EVERYONE always says that. Please elaborate on this.”

“Well… uhm….. I could radio for help… but the transmitter’s broken… I’ll haunt you… while you’re sleeping… or something… please don’t kill me!” The pirate begged.

“Okay, we’ll take you in custody. Q-Pill researchers need more test subjects anyways.” Pulgor reasoned.

“NO! Kill me, Kill me!” The Pirate begged.

“Tow his pod into the cargo hold! Then set course for home, ITX-8!” Pulgor ordered.

At the helm was a mechanical man. He was a machine. However he had sophisticated neural processors that made him act like a human, An actual thinking and reasoning AI. Pulgor had hired him on to his crew explicitly because as a machine he was accurate with maneuvers and he didn’t require much pay. The droid was a solid build, which could not be denied. He had a cylinder for a head which sat on a pole serving as a neck. The rest of the frame was of similar structure, it was more of an exoskeleton. Like the engineer was building the droid and then just said “Ah this is good enough.” ITX-8 thought a minute, and then spoke up, “Sorry Master, I cannot do that. My home is so… so far away. I would cry if I could Master. I really would.” The android said with a deadpan droid voice.

“Not YOUR home! The Republic Fleet station that we just came from! You know, the data sheets, the mission!”

“I do apologize Master, I cannot comply with generalized commands. Please keep your commands in…”

“Just do it… please.” Pulgor interrupted.

“Yes Master.”

“Stop that!” Pulgor insisted.

“Stop what, Master?”

“Calling me Master, call me Captain.” Pulgor ordered.

“I’m sorry Master, I cannot do that. My programming states that my owner must be addressed as Master. Therefore I call you Master.”

“I see…. Maybe you need a little re-programming!” Pulgor waved a wrench at the droid.

“Harming your investment does not seem like a wise use of your time Master.”

“But it’d be fun…” Pulgor pointed out, waving the wrench once more.

“You are a very strange Master…. I like you!” ITX-8 Said again, in a deadpan droid voice.

The Lost Credit sailed back to the Republic Fleet base at Hrober. There it promptly waited in line for two hours before docking. Pulgor and ITX-8 were at the airlock, “ITX-8, I am going to give you the datasheets. Guard them with your life.”

“Yes Master.” Pulgor glanced at him for a brief second when he heard the word “Master.”

They walked through the corridors of the monstrous space station, finally arriving at the Republic Fleet recruiting office. The office had a clear glass lobby which then led into a walled waiting room with a recruiting desk and a receptionist desk. The wall was littered with pro-republic fleet posters. “Join the republic fleet, fight for the cause!”, “The Republic fleet wants you in!”, “The Republic Fleet offers a premium life insurance policy, your pain and suffering is your loved ones benefit!”

Pulgor winced at the last one. He then went to the receptionist. “I need to talk to Haspen Eystilus. It’s important.”

“Head on in.” The receptionist said, and then went back to drying her nails and staring at the front door, like some zombie out of a horror movie.

Pulgor walked into the office with ITX-8. Haspen was behind her desk filling out forums that served little more purpose then to annoy her. She stopped filling out the forums and greeted Pulgor, “Hello Pulgor! Do you have some datasheets for me?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact I do. Here you go!” Pulgor snatched the sheets from ITX-8 and gave them to the agent. Then Pulgor spoke again, “Do you have another mission for me?”
Haspen downloaded the ISK into Pulgor’s account and then rummaged through some papers, “Yes, as a matter of fact I do! Republic forces on the edge of known space have reported vicious creatures known as Space Wasps massing to invade the inner core!”

“Wait… did you say space wasps! That’s what destroyed my ship, and ate my last crew!”

“Oh, so you remember them!” Haspen said eagerly.

“Master! I think I’ve had a breakthrough! I can feel something… I think it’s dread!” ITX-8 said excitedly.

To be continued.

Bhurak
Amarr
Imperial Shipment
Posted - 2004.02.26 20:06:00 - [2]
 

heh. this gets te bhurak seal of approval.

Think you will find your crew?

Concrete
Minmatar
Brutor Tribe
Posted - 2004.03.07 10:27:00 - [3]
 

^Grins. But dont you tell anybody!

Darrin Tobruk
Caldari
Stonecutter's Guild
Posted - 2004.03.14 00:04:00 - [4]
 

Lol, looking forward to the rest. Laughing

Pulgor
Posted - 2004.03.14 04:09:00 - [5]
 

Part II:

Pulgor boarded the Lost Credit yet again, he was in despair. Space Wasps are some of the most deadly creatures in existence today. Pulgor decided to see if Bhurak had any advice.

Bhurak used to be a used shuttle salesmen however after he let the love of his life, a Minmatar slave, go free. He ended up being exiled by his Amarrian counterparts and has taken to the family life in Minmatar space. Pulgor dialed his number into the neo-comm.

“I don’t want to join the Republic Navy, stop asking me already!”

”Huh?” Pulgor said.

“Oh, it’s you. These recruiters have been calling all day. How are you doing Pulgor?” Bhurak asked.

“I’m alright, I need your help. I have been assigned to fight some space wasps at the edge of known space. You have any idea how to beat them?”

”Space wasps? What the hell are those?”

“They’re like a normal wasp, but really big, and they fly in space. They can also spit a nasty acidic venom that tears right through ship armor.”

“I see, nah your dead. Can I have your stuff?”

“What the… no! I’ll see you later Bhurak!” Pulgor hung up.

He then leaned back in his chair. He had to think of a way to outsmart these space wasps, suddenly a knock at his door. “Who is it?” Pulgor bellowed.

“Dammit, it’s me! Open the door!” Pulgor recognized the voice of his attorney. Pulgor used his neo comm. to open the door. Wetwork, his attorney walked in. “Hey Pulgor! I need some tobacco, you got any!”

“Dammit Wetwork, no I don’t. Go away!” Pulgor commanded.

“No, this new book I’ve been reading ‘How to win arguments with the end of your shoe’ says that I should hold fast and threaten physical violence unless you give me some tobacco and that’s exactly what I’m going to do!”

“Whoever taught you to read should be hanged. Here’s 30 Credits, go buy some.” Pulgor handed over some paper notes. A credit is ISK in its hard form. They are useful for cash transactions or when one doesn’t feel like carrying a card with them everywhere.

“Thanks, I’ll get it a bit later. So where are we going!”

“First we get rid of you, then I am going to combat the dreaded space wasps.”

“Oh, well then I need to come along, I’ll need first hand experience so that when we sue your insurance company for improper coverage, I’ll know exactly what happened.”

“Wetwork, you can’t be involved with the case and be the attorney. You can’t call yourself to the stand, it doesn’t work!”

“Quiet you! My book, ‘Man first, lawyer second’ says otherwise!”

Pulgor gave up. “Fine, just don’t get in my way.”

Wetwork then turned around and walked out the door. Pulgor went back to thinking. Unfortunately the best way was going to have to be a head on confrontation.

Pulgor climbed into his capsule and began the launch sequence to launch the ship from space dock. “ITX-8, set a course for the mission coordinates.”

“Roger that incompetent master!”

“What!?” Pulgor nearly screamed into the intercom.

“I do apologize if I offended you master. I am attempting to practice friendly jibes and insults. How am I doing?” ITX-8 asked.

“I’m not going to dignify that with a response.”

* * *

The Lost Credit arrived at the coordinates dictated by the mission parameters. However nothing was there.

“ITX-8 Run a full sensor sweep, they’ve got to be out there!”

“Yes Master!” ITX-8 ran a full sweep but came up empty handed. “Master, there appears to be nothing here. Perhaps your human failings have caused this error?”

“No, this is the correct location. ITX-8, could the wasps be hibernating or impervious to our scans?” Pulgor questioned.

“Dammit Master! I’m a navigator, not a biologist!”

“Riiight….” Pulgor exasperated.

“Wait, Master! I think I have something on ladar!”

“What is it ITX-8.”

“A small object directly in front of us!”

”We can’t take any chances, I’m targeting guns!” Pulgor armed the 720mm projectile turrets. “Die evil space wasp!” Pulgor yelled, then fired the weapons. A small explosion erupted and then all was quiet.

“Master! Incoming message!”

“Patch it through to the capsule!” Pulgor commanded.

A view screen popped up on Pulgor’s view. A small man with a horse face appeared. “I don’t suppose there was any particular reason you killed me?”

“I thought you were a scummy space wasp?”

“I was running from the space wasp!” The view screen closed and Pulgor felt a slight vibration within his capsule.

“Master, we are detecting a large object off the port bow! It’s a space wasp master!”

“Targeting guns!” Pulgor targeted the wasp and opened fire. However the bullets bounced off the hardened plating of the wasp. The wasp grabbed the Lost Credit and began to crush it with it’s pinchers. “Master, it has us in it’s grasp! Keep firing master!!”

Pulgor
Posted - 2004.03.14 04:10:00 - [6]
 

”Releasing drones.” Pulgor released heavy assult drones. These small maneuverable spacecraft began to shoot energy blasts at the giant wasp. However, little damage was being done. The wasp used it’s rear stinger, as big as the Lost Credit itself, the stinger began to dent the armor plating.

“Master, Armor has almost given out, do something!”

“Starting eject sequence.”

“Dammit Master! Your human cowardice will be the undoing of us all!”

“I’ll take care of this!” Wetwork stated, as he stepped onto the bridge. He grabbed a small device linked to the communication system. “Now hear this vile space wasp! I eat things like you for breakfast! You are in violation of subsection 36-A of Amarr law and will desist immediately or I will file a law suit against you and your hive queen!”

”Wetwork, that won’t work!” Pulgor said, but then the shaking stopped.

“I sure showed him. Booyah! Wetwork wins again!” Wetwork began to make a hip thrusting motion when the communication system came alive again. “Thought you guys could use some help.”

Bhurak in his Omen called Sebiestor Maiden, Armed with missile launchers that easily pierced the armor on the space wasp. The space wasp then convulsed and died.

However, soon the ladar began to come alive with readings, “Master! I am detecting 47 more space wasps inbound for this location!”

“Uhm…. Starting ejection sequence!” Pulgor initiated escape pod procedures and his capsule was jettisoned into space.

A communication window opened up, “I’ll get you for this Master! I’ll geeeeettttt yoooo….” The window turned to static as the wasps enveloped the Lost Credit.

Pulgor set course for home.

* * *

“You really shouldn’t have abandoned your friends like that.” Bhurak said.

“Meh, they have clones.”

“I’m pretty sure ITX-8 didn’t have a clone,” Commented Bhurak.

“No, but meet ITX-9!!!” Pulgor opened the door to the small room they were in. In walked a robot similar to ITX-8, “Master, ITX-9 is programmed and ready to serve! I trust my predecessor died due to malfunction in his primitive circuitry! I will not make the same mistakes.”
“Thank you ITX-9. Welp, I’m going to bed Bhurak, I’ll see you later.” Pulgor left the room. He walked to his rented quarters on the station and climbed into bed. Outside the door ITX-9 stood, his eyes glowing red, “I told you I would get you back Master!” He then raised a blaster and began to walk into the room.

Pulgor sprung up out of the bed with a droid control device, “Stop that!” He pressed a button and ITX-9’s hand let go of the blaster. “Dammit Master! Even a robot needs revenge!”

“No revenge!” Pulgor said.

“Fine Master, I will see you in the morning.” ITX-9 left the quarters.

“And turn those eyes to a normal color!” Pulgor screamed after him

“Curses!” ITX-9 mumbled.

Bhurak
Amarr
Imperial Shipment
Posted - 2004.03.14 10:14:00 - [7]
 

heh.

Tautut
Amarr
Posted - 2004.03.15 19:25:00 - [8]
 

Your pieces make for a good read.

Respect.

Darrin Tobruk
Caldari
Stonecutter's Guild
Posted - 2004.03.17 01:34:00 - [9]
 

Laughing


 

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