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blankseplocked Once upon a time there was an outlaw... and his story.
 
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T'X
Posted - 2007.06.28 11:13:00 - [1]
 

Edited by: T''X on 28/06/2007 11:18:11
Yes yes indeed, Once upon a time in a very far away place was an outlaw, and this is the story, ladies and gents, of my favorite outlaw (<3 Alz0r!)

Enjoy!


----------------------------------------------------------

Alz0r:

"Well, I just got this brand-spanking new Drake, you see, and I thought it would be a good idea to fit it out with T2 launchers and all them bells and whistles. Then I thought I should head out to Zappy and make a pretty penny, but it never occurred to me that the local authorities might not take my newly acquired sec status too nicely. I don't even remember seeing that hisec system on my map list. In any case, the police is tearing my pretty boat apart as we speak, and in an incredible feat of self-control, I've managed to keep physical tantrums to a minimum.

GAH!"


Minutes pass by and AzlOr cannot log in to EVE anymore. He acesses his account through this very site, and notices there is no insurance money that popped into his wallet. Myabe he lagged, or maybe... could it be?!?!


Alz0r:

So I log onto an alt, desperately seeking guidance. I know my Drake's alive, 'cause my character selection screen shows Alz0r as broke, meaning that insurance hasn't paid out. I scroll through my buddylist and, lo-and behold, Wilhelm is on! Booyah! I realize a few moments later that he'd be just as ****ed as I am if he jumped into highsec to save my silly ass, so he suggests that I ask Emosquito instead. Emo decides to help, and so, heads out to Shenda in his AB-fitted Blackbird (it was all we could muster). Wilhelm, in his eternal wisdom, suggests that Emo shove an assload of FOF Heavies into his hold so that I may lob a few of them at the authorities in my dying throes.

The boss hops into his ****y little Ibis christened 'OMG PIRATES' and decides he'll oversee the whole operation. A few minutes later, everything's set. The plan is rehearsed: I'm to log into Alz0r, and hopefully appear about 12km off the gate back to lowsec. Between me and that gate should stand no more than a half-dozen Amarrian policeboats. Wilhelm is to holler words of guidance while Emo rams his ugly ship into mine as fast and as hard and as often as he can (which sounds kind of kinky, but it isn't). Brigitte is also online by now, so she also is to take part in the whole hollerage aspect of our operation.

Enter Alz0r.

I log in, as planned. Load screen disappears as I'm about to warp in on the gate, so there's hardly any time to prepare. A quick glance at my shields indicates that last night's hurried logoffski left me at 22%. Not good.

It only takes a few seconds for the local authorities to agree on what color lasers they're going to kill me with, but at least by then I'm up to 35% shields. They lock, web, and scramble and my speed drops to 1.6m/s; I'm 11km from safety. ****. Emo slides by, and I realize that I warped in behind him, so hes got to swing in around and in back of me before he can start bumping. Things are looking grim. As per Brigitte's sombre instructions, I jettison what little cargo I have. Emo swings in for an agonizingly slow first bump. The Drake chucks up to 110m/s and then right back down to 1.6 about seven seconds later, and I'm still 10km from that gate.

Emo backs up for another run, and chat fills up with cries of dismay: I'll never make it. Brigitte suggests that I log, but I figure that if it doesn't work this time, then it never will. Wilhelm yells for some FOFs, and Emo dumps them in a can right next to me as he swings around for another pass. I nab the FOFs and fill my launchers with them. Shields are at 27% and dropping fast. With peak regen rate gone, things are bound to head south, and fast. Emo bumps again, gets me 9.8km from the gate, and scurries back for another go. FOFs load as I slam F1-through-F7 with the palm of my sweaty hand, and start blaspheming profusely.

T'X
Posted - 2007.06.28 11:13:00 - [2]
 

Edited by: T''X on 28/06/2007 11:17:07
Edited by: T''X on 28/06/2007 11:16:34
Edited by: T''X on 28/06/2007 11:12:51
Missiles kersplode and Emo comes 'round for another shove: I'm 8.8km from the gate, shields at 10%. Missiles are whizzing by every-which-way, and I'm praying for some luck. Wham, Emo hits again. This time, though, the speed stays. Some lucky FOF just blew the webbing policeboat to ****, and I'm flying a steady 150m/s towards the gate. Victory is short-lived, though, as I'm webbed again 6km out. More ships pop, but never the right ones, and little Emo keeps ramming. Meter by meter, I'm staggering my way to that gate. Another lucky shot blows the second webber to bits, and I'm 4km out when I realize that my shields are gone and that my armor's coming away in huge-ass chunks. ****!

Armor drops down to 45%, Emo rams, and I'm 3km from the gate. 2.9km, another ram, then 2.7km. Armor drops to 22%, Brigitte yells to put the autopilot on. 2.6km, Emo bumps again. Almost 2.5km! Wilhelm hollers, Brigitte yells, I curse. Shgghoooooooink! My screen freezes and turns black.

My drake reappears in lowsec, no shields, 5% armor, yet whole and intact. Holy **** that was epic. Saved by some lucky FOFs and some quick-witted corpmates. Thanks guys!


----------------------------------------------------------------


/End Story

And this, ladies and gents happens to the best of us ^^


And these are the pictures we took in time enough, through Wilhelm Beck's view!

http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/5156/omgtu5.jpg

http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/7438/iwinpr8.jpg

Siigari Kitawa
Gallente
Perditus Peregrinus
Posted - 2007.06.28 11:15:00 - [3]
 

Edited by: Siigari Kitawa on 28/06/2007 11:22:00
Reading now.


HAHAHAHA omg the EXACT SAME THING happened to me today.

Ugh, I jumped into highsec not paying attention to where I was going (thank you Khanid for having the crappiest system names and they all look the same right next to each other).

I jumped into highsec in my Myrmidon, and, upon immediately realizing what I had done, jettisoned ALL MY CARGO (expensive stuff).

I yelled in vent for my friend in a hurricane (with a mwd thank God) to get in here.

FIVE MINUTES LATER he shows up. He was fortunately not an outlaw, and was able to jump in system. At any rate, my armor tank was at 100%, and the ishkur in system that had jammed himself between me and the gate said "wow you're tanking CONCORD" He swang around to the rear. I was pleading with him to grab my cargo back and deliver it to me so I can put it in my cargohold. I knew he'd get me to the gate. After he bumped me in ONE FELL SWOOP, I moved from 12km to 3000m and went the rest of the way at a grueling 19.1m/s, scooped my cargo, and jumped.

I could have sat there forever with that tank ;D

But yeah, nervewracking nonetheless.

ptazz
Posted - 2007.06.28 11:15:00 - [4]
 

Edited by: ptazz on 28/06/2007 11:14:45
Pictures on the way!

*Curses at alts* This is T'X btw >.>

Crumplecorn
Gallente
Eve Cluster Explorations
Posted - 2007.06.28 11:16:00 - [5]
 

Epic

Mordrake
Freelance Economics Astrological resources
Tactical Narcotics Team
Posted - 2007.06.28 11:21:00 - [6]
 

The Amarr have skilled surgeons who can remove that horseshoe from your posterior with little troubble.

T'X
Posted - 2007.06.28 11:25:00 - [7]
 

Originally by: Mordrake
The Amarr have skilled surgeons who can remove that horseshoe from your posterior with little troubble.


do they now? :) I'll give em a try ;)

Endless Subversion
Genos Occidere
HYDRA RELOADED
Posted - 2007.06.28 11:32:00 - [8]
 

How did you activate the gate if you had been shooting?

T'X
Posted - 2007.06.28 11:42:00 - [9]
 

Originally by: Endless Subversion
How did you activate the gate if you had been shooting?


Not a bad question, I'll ask him. I don't think FOF missiles lock the gate tho, or maybe i'm just pulling pixies outta my ass. >.>

genome 77
Gallente
Los Gordos
Posted - 2007.06.28 11:43:00 - [10]
 

Edited by: genome 77 on 28/06/2007 12:06:47
Awesome, simply awesome! A great read with my morning coffee! Glad you made it homes!


KnifeyMcShanker
hirr
Morsus Mihi
Posted - 2007.06.28 11:48:00 - [11]
 

Originally by: Endless Subversion
How did you activate the gate if you had been shooting?


You don't gate aggro if all you hit was NPCs.

T'X
Posted - 2007.06.28 12:07:00 - [12]
 

There's your answer ;)

Alz0r
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Posted - 2007.06.28 15:24:00 - [13]
 

Haha glad yall enjoyed it. I wrote this for our private forums, so please forgive the swearing. I'm a PVPer at heart, but if CCP ever made PVE as entertaining as that was, I'd go carebear Wink


Tarminic
Dreddit
Test Alliance Please Ignore
Posted - 2007.06.28 15:30:00 - [14]
 

Once (before the T2 crash) I spied an outlaw autopiloting through high-sec with various ships firing on him. It looked like he was actually going to make it through the gate...right up until I bumped him away from it.
I watched him die and then made 100 mil from his loot.
Twisted Evil

ptazz
Posted - 2007.06.28 15:31:00 - [15]
 

Edited by: ptazz on 28/06/2007 15:30:19
Originally by: Alz0r
Haha glad yall enjoyed it. I wrote this for our private forums, so please forgive the swearing. I'm a PVPer at heart, but if CCP ever made PVE as entertaining as that was, I'd go carebear Wink




I loled a little inside.

Knowing you, you'd go carebear and try to blow fellow carebears up with a hauler >.> Could work, you never know ^^


Edit: Screw alts, this is T'X again >.>

Aioa
Planetary Assault Systems
Posted - 2007.06.28 15:47:00 - [16]
 

Lol, nice story. I bet you're not the first to be caught out by that particular little island of hi-sec...

T'X
Posted - 2007.06.29 19:30:00 - [17]
 

Let this story be known... come on reply! :)

T'X
Posted - 2007.07.25 01:02:00 - [18]
 

Bump for a nice story that I want heard :)

BluOrange
Gallente
The OZ Hunters and Mercenary Association
Black Scope Project
Posted - 2007.07.25 06:07:00 - [19]
 

That's brilliant!

Vitrael
Reaper Industries
Cry Havoc.
Posted - 2007.07.25 06:16:00 - [20]
 

Nerf Drake Twisted Evil

T'X
Posted - 2007.09.02 17:45:00 - [21]
 

Originally by: Vitrael
Nerf Drake Twisted Evil


Yep, it's what we agreed when he made it out alive! =)


 

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