Edited by: PCX339 on 05/01/2007 23:27:24
A rare recording has just surfaced from one of my spies inside Serpentis. Up until now I bet you never thought that while we watch the NPCs, the NPCs also watch us. As you can see from the transmission below they have many of the same stereotype impressions about us that we have about each other.
The admiral sat in his chair regarding the front line Serpentis pilot skeptically, "are you crazy, man, there's nothing wrong with our tactics. Why would we change?”
“But sir! We’re getting clobbered out there. Every day we fly out to patrol and every day we get blown up, often again and again!”
“Son, you have to get used to it, this is just how we do things around here.”
The pilot was clearly unimpressed by this argument, “we must lose thousands of battleships a day though. Sure they all get replaced…”
“That’s right!” interrupted the admiral. “If there’s one thing we’ve learned from observing ISS
it’s that losses are unimportant if you have enough production. We think that philosophy is a winner!”
“Well, you do have a point there,” acknowledged the pilot grudgingly, “I always get a new ship right away, often delivered to the same belt.”
“There you have it! I bet you’ve never even been podded! Heck that trick we use works so well I bet those alliance pilots have never even SEEN one of our pods.”
“You mean the ‘Ctrl-Q’ module? Yeah, okay, I have to admit I’m glad we use that.”
“Well, honestly we have to thank Red Alliance
for that, its technology we stole from them,” smiled the admiral in a moment of unusual honesty. “But now everybody uses it,” he added as an afterthought.
“Gosh sir, it still sure would be nice to have some tech-2 equipment, that stuff is kicking our butts out there!” whined the pilot, trying a new approach.
“I know, I know, but if we had better equipment it would just attract more attackers. You’ve seen how people pile on when they find our officers or even our special forces. Good loot drops attract more gunfire,” explained the admiral patiently. Then he added, “Besides, that stuff is way overpriced. We don’t have access to the Trust BPOs like Dusk and Dawn
At this point the pilot was crestfallen, “no new tactics, no better equipment, can’t we at least get some fresh pilots in here to help?”
“And wind up full of BOB
spies? Absolutely not!” Snapped the Admiral.
The pilot let out a long sigh, and the admiral continued, “you have to learn to look on the bright side of serving the organization.”
“Well, how about that trick where we all appear suddenly. Sometimes we get some miners or a newer pilot with that one.”
“You mean the AXE
“Well, that’s what Privateer Alliance
calls it, anyway.”
“Who are those Privateer guys anyway, I heard about them on Gal-Net but I don’t think I’ve seen any out here in low sec?”
The admiral chortled, “yeah, they don’t really come out here much. Mostly they stick to empire.”
The Admiral tried to work up a positive note, “just remember it could always be worse. At least we don’t have the worst kill ratio around.”
“That’s very true sir. We could be in Goonswarm
[end of transmission]
Edited to undo the forum whacking my formatting
(All in good fun folks, all in good fun. Even if you got roasted keep in mind your enemies probably did as well. I figured since we are still looking for a new alliance this was the perfect time to offend EVERYONE .)