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blankseplocked The 0.0 Experiment - Warning: Thrilling Content.......
 
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Sino Black
Posted - 2006.07.27 14:13:00 - [61]
 

This sounds fun I think I'll give it a go as I hav'nt got much to loose ATM and looks like much to gain.

Please keep the posts coming Smile


firepup82
Missions Mining and Mayhem
Northern Coalition.
Posted - 2006.07.27 14:25:00 - [62]
 

Laughing I love this!

Amplify
Gallente
Aliastra
Posted - 2006.07.27 14:39:00 - [63]
 

Edited by: Amplify on 27/07/2006 14:39:05
Great stuff, i'll be sure to keep reading your adventures.

You have the writing skills, the humour and the ideas to get quite a fanbase following, methinks.


Originally by: INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE
mining Kernite in 0.7 space


Where is this mystical land of high sector Kernite? Shocked

Sylaan
Caldari
Rakeriku
Otaku Invasion
Posted - 2006.07.27 15:17:00 - [64]
 

Quality stuff. You should start a blog on this Wink

Jacob Majestic
GoonFleet
GoonSwarm
Posted - 2006.07.27 15:29:00 - [65]
 

EVE is great because you can have exactly as much fun as you want to have.

A tip to new(er) players -- if you want to try a similar experiment, set your course for a region where there are lots of NPC pirate stations.

Curse
Stain
Venal
Delve
Fountain

Running missions for pirate agents is a very lucrative profession.

Janus Ovellian
Minmatar
Firebird Squadron
Terra-Incognita
Posted - 2006.07.27 15:34:00 - [66]
 

Very good. I know for a fact that the longer you wait to make the move the more difficult it becomes to actually get up the nerve to extricate yourself from your safehouses in empire.

This has to be the best way to get out there. And this blog is a great idea too - keep up the good work!

votrian alpha
Dark-Rising
Executive Outcomes
Posted - 2006.07.27 16:40:00 - [67]
 

Excellent stuff. Good luck and a blog would be great!

V

Nabasuko Donosor
Posted - 2006.07.27 16:44:00 - [68]
 

This is fun and good writing. Long time ago had a good laugh reading the forums.Razz

Kur'Dekaija
Wolfs In Gray Armor
Posted - 2006.07.27 17:37:00 - [69]
 

nice and funny read.. wish you luck and fun

RabidNerd
Blue Star Brotherhood
Interstellar Starbase Syndicate
Posted - 2006.07.27 18:23:00 - [70]
 

i love your writing style and humour. cant wait for the next part and im bookmarking this thread.

Granite Wraith
Posted - 2006.07.27 19:44:00 - [71]
 

hehehehe, great read Smile

i'd say "fly safe", but that really doesnt apply here. so "fly fun" Very Happy

and another /signed on the blog Smile

Iron Wraith
Posted - 2006.07.27 19:47:00 - [72]
 

arrgh! bad BAD Granite! how the frack did you get back as my deafault poster?

/me locks Granite away in a very dark dungeon with lots of unpleasant things to keep him company

Ching Ling
Gallente
Posted - 2006.07.27 20:32:00 - [73]
 

Great great story telling! Mind telling us where you learned to write like this?

With skills like this, you should have no problem with DA LADIES!

INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE
Posted - 2006.07.27 23:49:00 - [74]
 

Edited by: INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE on 23/08/2006 17:29:42
I have been greatly encouraged by all the useful words of advice and help from my new friends (and enemies) here. My journey has been very much bolstered by you all. I will look into the blog idea and will reply to some of the comments made so far, in due course. Here's what happened next:

Emilio Estevez

Due to the shocking fact that my basic miner had been mercilessly blown to smithereens earlier in the day, I decided to scour the local Venal market, in search of a replacement.

I discovered that there were two "Miner 1" modules up for sale, a mere 8 jumps away. I made the big decision to stake my claim on these items, as they may come in handy later on in my career. 25k each was 169% above the market average but being this far out in the middle of nowhere, it seemed like a good deal.

Link

Upon leaving my new station in the venal region, I set course for a system far off into the abyss. I was enjoying my adventure so far, and had very much liked my conversation with Jackamo.

Unfortunately, our discussion had fizzled out after he had asked me if I knew what the "Band Of Brothers" was and I had replied: "Yes, I have seen the television series."

The next time I glanced at the chat box, he had left the conversation. Alas.......

Perhaps he had become resigned to the knowledge that I would probably not be joining his merry troupe of "Cursed Killers".

I made sure to set my standing with him to 5.0 (which is kind of like saying: "I like you, but I don't trust you") and I dutifully recorded a note to remind myself of him, should we ever meet again.

I set my destination to a station far off at the outer corner of the "Branch" region and began another heady flight into the unknown. It was late at night (or early in the morning, depending on how you look at it) and the skies were relatively empty.

I felt like an eagle, recently released from captivity, soaring high and far above the brave new world beneath me.

I swooped and climbed and rose higher and higher, gliding ever and ever closer to my target system.

Perhaps I was headed to Nirvana, to Eden, or to a hidden Utopia, kept secret from the world at large, for millennia and millennia, and only divulged to the neophytes who had been granted membership to the secret society that guarded it. Or perhaps I was about to get podded again......

A large number of jumps later, and after having passed a large number of people who had "D2 friendly" written in their bios, I had almost reached my destination and my map looked like this:

Link

A quick search on google revealed that D2 was the title of a 1994 Ice Hockey movie starring Emilio Estevez. I was sure that this information would prove to be invaluable later on.......

A few minutes more and I had reached one of the outer corners of the universe. An astonishing achievement for a n00b, who only a short while earlier had launched himself out of Caldari space with nothing but a million isk, a shuttle and a keen sense of adventure.

I felt like a pioneer, like an explorer standing at the gateway to an unknown land filled with unimaginable riches.

The station was almost within sight and my miniscule shuttle eagerly sped its way to the docking ramp, until this happened:

Link

I was apparently unliked by "Dusk And Dawn". I was not quite sure what I had done to offend them, seeing as we had never met, but nonetheless I had been barred from entering their citadel.

A quick search on google revealed that they were a 1996 vampire movie starring Harvel Keitel and George Clooney. Perhaps this was a 0.0 nosferatu factory. I was sure that this information would prove to be invaluable later on.........

(to be continued.......)

Minuteman
Distant Thunder
Perihelion Alliance
Posted - 2006.07.27 23:58:00 - [75]
 

As hilarious as this is, it leaves me wondering how such a new player can have such a sarcastic (in the most hilarious and entertaining sense of the word) attitude to this game. Keep up the good work.

Raider Zero
Minmatar
Tormentum Insomniae
Raiden.
Posted - 2006.07.28 00:08:00 - [76]
 

A quick search on google revealed that D2 was the title of a 1994 Ice Hockey movie starring Emilio Estevez. I was sure that this information would prove to be invaluable later on.......



You're my hero. I'll be reading......

Epictetus
Minmatar
Advanced Logistics
Cosa Nostra.
Posted - 2006.07.28 00:27:00 - [77]
 

Quote:
A quick search on google revealed that D2 was the title of a 1994 Ice Hockey movie starring Emilio Estevez. I was sure that this information would prove to be invaluable later on.......



That was indeed one of the funniest things i have read in a long time.

Please do keep up the good work and have fun.

INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE
Posted - 2006.07.28 00:58:00 - [78]
 

Edited by: INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE on 23/08/2006 17:25:46
The Evil Zlake

I felt like a refugee, desperately trying to breach the borders to the land of milk and honey. I was a thousand miles from home, with nowhere to dock my ship. I was a nomad and was now in a desperate situation.

I felt like Dorothy from the movie The wizard of Oz. I had travelled so far along the yellow brick road that my ship's inertial stabilisers had developed blisters.

I was weary and tired and after gaining brains, heart and courage, had finally reached the Emerald City, only to be turned away at the gates.

I felt like sleeping. Perhaps it was the sweet smell of the Hedbergite asteroid fields that had been poisoned by Harvey and George (or perhaps by Emilio) to stop outsiders gaining entry to the city.

I decided I had no choice but to press on, perhaps to another corner of nowhere. I called up my map and crossed my shaking fingers.

After studying the celestial chart for a while, I noticed a very peculiar feature. A system in the Branch region connected with a far-off system, via an exceedingly long jump:

Link

Perhaps this was the secret tunnel to utopia. A wormhole that led to the land of King Midas, where the streets were paved with gold, and a n00b like me could live forevermore in luxury and wanton abandon. I set sail for the promised land immediately.

Some time later I arrived in the system UEJX-G. I was truly now at the end of the universe. My overview showed a station named after a book by Douglas Adams from the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy series, entitled "Mostly Harmless".

Being a fan of Douglas Adams, I was hopeful that I was now among friends and I eagerly set my course to the docking perimeter.

To my horror I received the same message I had been given at the previous station. I had once more been denied entry to the Emerald City. At this point, a person called "Lemmy" in local said "lol at alt n00b".

I was quite sure that he was referring to me and so I decided to seize the initiative:


"I can't seem to dock here" - I said into Local.


"You need to be in an alliance. This is D2 territory" - he replied.


(I quietly wondered to myself if I would ever breach the inner sanctum of these mighty ducks. I was a solo pilot who could not gain entry without being in an alliance. How could I solve this perplexing conundrum?)


"Wait there until I get my ship and come out and pod you" - shouted an intimidating player called "Zlake".


Link

I decided that I would bravely make a stand, since running away would probably result in my death anyway.

"OK, you can come out and pod me. I have to go 22 jumps to get back home anyway so you can save me the trip, you'll be helping me out" - I brashly lied into the chat-box.

Within seconds he had called my bluff and I was being shot at and was frantically attempting to make my escape:

Link

I fled like I had never fled before, to a random asteroid field. To my astonishment and utter amazement I realised I had indeed reached the secret gardens of the emerald city.

Everywhere I looked, there were asteroids of the like that I had never laid my eyes on before, in my short n00b life.

I stood amazed, like a 19th century egyptian explorer, standing before the uncovered tomb of Tuthmoses II in the valley of the kings, gold and silver treasure glistening all around me.

It was then that I glimpsed the holy grail and my jaw hit the floor of my shuttle:

Link

My journey had taken me to the far reaches of the galaxy and now I had stood before the fabled ore Mercoxit. Suddenly, I remembered that I was still being hunted by the evil Zlake and my time was running out...

(to be continued....)

Mordinn
The Bones Brigade
Posted - 2006.07.28 01:07:00 - [79]
 

Awesome!

Very Hunter Thomson-esque! I'm into it!

More!

/me claps like an idiot...

Taale
Minmatar
Posted - 2006.07.28 01:38:00 - [80]
 

Haha! As a fellow n00b, I'm just imagining all those pirates' jaws dropping at the thought of this little guy getting all that ore.

Sul Sonic
Caldari
The Blackbriar Group
Posted - 2006.07.28 01:58:00 - [81]
 

You should start a blog mate, like on your own website or something, it gets annoying filtering through all the comments to read your stuff.

Kitty O'Shay
Tharsis Security
Posted - 2006.07.28 02:18:00 - [82]
 

Use this Eve-search link to find just the OP's story posts.

Tommy TenKreds
Animal Mercantile Executive
Posted - 2006.07.28 02:23:00 - [83]
 

Great read mate. I'll send you the cash for your next clone. Laughing

Kai Lae
Gallente
Shiva
Morsus Mihi
Posted - 2006.07.28 02:29:00 - [84]
 

Originally by: INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE

I was apparently unliked by "Dusk And Dawn". I was not quite sure what I had done to offend them, seeing as we had never met, but nonetheless I had been barred from entering their citadel.

A quick search on google revealed that they were a 1996 vampire movie starring Harvel Keitel and George Clooney. Perhaps this was a 0.0 nosferatu factory. I was sure that this information would prove to be invaluable later on.........




I warned you...oh, and Laughing

Dahak2150
Arm of Orion
Posted - 2006.07.28 02:37:00 - [85]
 

This thread is win.

INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE
Posted - 2006.07.28 02:55:00 - [86]
 

Edited by: INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE on 23/08/2006 17:20:22
6600 Jumps

In my uncontrollable excitement, I accidentally revealed my discovery in local.

Surprisingly, Lemmy did not seem bothered:

Link

I had learned through reading on the Eve forums that there was a practice called "making a bookmark in deadspace" and I think it may just have saved my life.

I quickly warped to another asteroid field and hit "bookmark location" while I was halfway there. Upon landing, I then warped back to my bookmark. I was safe from the evil Zlake, or so I thought...


"Don't make me get my scanner and come out there and get you" - he threatened in local.


It was clear that these people were convinced that I was an enemy of Emilio Estevez and was there to bring down his comedy franchise empire.


"Why did you run?" - enquired Zlake.


Personally, I thought that the answer to this question was patently obvious but I decided not to fan the flames further and came up with this:


"I was enjoying the conversation in local" - I meekly replied.


I was desperately wondering if Zlake's scanner was homing in closer on me with each passing second. I felt like a cornered animal, glaring into the eyes of the lion that was about to pounce...

After playing cat and mouse with the gargantuan brute Zlake for a while, something unexpected happened. He decided to announce that he was going to bed and made the following threat in local:


"Well I'm gonna log out, so long as you don't run away or anything" he shouted forcefully.


I pondered this unusual statement for a while and sure enough he logged out before I could agree to his terms.


"It's just you and me, ignore Sephron" - said Lemmy, reassuringly.

Link

Over the next 20 minutes or so I began to talk to lemmy about life in the outer reaches of the universe and he assured me that I would not be able to dock without selling my soul to an alliance...

I felt the pressure building on my shoulders, but decided that I would find my own way to besiege this fortress and gain entry. I was determined to find a route in and to get to meet either The Wizard, or Emilio Estevez brandishing a golden ice hockey stick.

Just as I was about to depart, Lemmy very unexpectedly decided to offer me a job:


"I will pay you a million isk if you go get me some armour repairers" - he said.


"I need 100 light and 100 medium armour repair drones and I will pay you 100k up front and 900k on delivery." - he added.


Link

After negotiating the terms of this lucrative offer with the very kind and generous Lemmy, I had calculated that it would take 150 trips of 44 jumps per trip with my 10 m3 of cargo space in my shuttle to fulfil his request.

This meant that I was being offered a million isk for a mere 6600 jumps through 0.0 space. I was excited by this exploitative proposition but decided that I would not commit myself just yet. Again, I thanked Lemmy for his time, lifted my anchor and set a course for nowhere.

As I went through the gate to the next system, a thought flickered into my mind.

Perhaps D2 was a secret and cunning code:

"D" is the 4th letter of the alphabet and if I substitute "D" with "4", "D2" then becomes "42". Fans of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy will instantly recognise this number as it is a prominent and well known part of the storyline in the books. Perhaps I was onto something...

A few jumps later, I created a random spot in deadspace, parked my ship there and decided to log out for at least 24 hours.

I wanted to see how long it would take for someone to randomly find me and pod me. Would I still be in the same place the next day when I logged back in, or would I find myself back in my clone station? Only time would tell...

(to be continued...)

Tommy TenKreds
Animal Mercantile Executive
Posted - 2006.07.28 03:15:00 - [87]
 

Originally by: INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE
I was being offered a million isk for a mere 6600 jumps through 0.0 space. I was excited by this exploitative proposition but decided that I would not commit myself just yet.

OMG LOL... priceless. Laughing

Murph Dog
The Flying Tigers
United Front Alliance
Posted - 2006.07.28 03:42:00 - [88]
 

Love this :D Your writing style reminds me of the text in "Hugo's House of Horrors" (which i highly recommend for nostalgia sake)

Goodluck and I might convo you next time im in-game, I have a job you might be suited for :)

Zoltan Vinegar
Posted - 2006.07.28 03:53:00 - [89]
 

Originally by: Tommy TenKreds
Originally by: INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE
I was being offered a million isk for a mere 6600 jumps through 0.0 space. I was excited by this exploitative proposition but decided that I would not commit myself just yet.

OMG LOL... priceless. Laughing

I'm laughing so hard I'm crying! I vote this the best thread ever! Surely this deserves a sticky (for a while) and definitely space in the next EON!

El Alamein
Destructive Influence
IT Alliance
Posted - 2006.07.28 04:54:00 - [90]
 

what an adventure into the cold reality of what 0.0 is like without any npc stations near by and no + standings setShocked


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