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PaulAtreides
Evolution
Band of Brothers
Posted - 2005.05.25 23:51:00 - [1]
 

Edited by: PaulAtreides on 26/05/2005 01:06:57

Hi... Very Happy

Are you unhappy with your current citizenship? Are you looking to improve your way of life in the long term? Would you like to work for free/lower than minimum wage with little to no long term rewards? Is your name made up from a couple of letters and maybe a random number thrown in?

If the answer is yes to any of these questions, I am exactly what you have been searching for all this time. You see... in your current daily life of luxury and opulence, you may be feeling the strain, wear and tear of what I like to call "OMG, I'M TOO STINKING RICH" syndrome.

To break you free of this everyday life habit in eve, I have developed a program whereby you get to give up all your possessions and assets. You will not be required to surrender them, but rather to ignore them while you work for me as a humble slave for my economic well-being.

In this special Eve-specific program, you will be given access to a high-profit labour intensive region of space and you will toil and sweat, run from pirates and generally have a miserable time, while reaching new spiritual heights with your thankless job.

To start you off I offer one shiny Velator and 2 basic mining lasers. I can also supply Iteron Mk. 1's where necessary.

What more could a multi-billionaire (you) wish for in this day and age?

Apply now... become my slave, earn money for PaulAtreides and have an absolutely miserable time doing it.

You may self-inflict this upon yourself by sending me ISK that you have earnt in this program, or you may convo/eve-mail me for more information about this.


Kalast Raven
Caldari
Caldari Provisions
Posted - 2005.05.26 01:08:00 - [2]
 

OMG this is the best program ever! I am liberated of all my worldly concerns and you can be too!

Nybbas
Guiding Hand Social Club
Dystopia Alliance
Posted - 2005.05.26 02:24:00 - [3]
 

I agree, i was lost and my life sucked... i had so much wealth, and no clue what to do anymore. But now i am free of my wealth and slavery has never been better!

Blacklight
Reikoku
IT Alliance
Posted - 2005.05.26 02:28:00 - [4]
 

I'm in!!

Cool

Luance DeAngeluotti
Gallente
Gallente Insorum Research Ltd.
Posted - 2005.05.26 11:10:00 - [5]
 

You should offer courses for overworked and alienated CEO of MegaCorps.

Going back to the roots, learn how it is at the grinding level and learn to apreciate the work of your minion, that could be points in your shiny handout.

Please send me 10 million ISK for this consultation or I have to send my lawyers Laughing

David Goodwill
Thunderwaffe
Posted - 2005.05.26 11:32:00 - [6]
 

Wow, you make it sound so much like real life! Shocked

hazeb
Reikoku
Band of Brothers
Posted - 2005.05.26 13:51:00 - [7]
 

/me looks at Paul's corp tags.

Didn't you just join a corp that gives you all this already? Very Happy

Hazeb

PaulAtreides
Evolution
Band of Brothers
Posted - 2005.05.26 21:19:00 - [8]
 

Originally by: Luance DeAngeluotti
You should offer courses for overworked and alienated CEO of MegaCorps.

Going back to the roots, learn how it is at the grinding level and learn to apreciate the work of your minion, that could be points in your shiny handout.

Please send me 10 million ISK for this consultation or I have to send my lawyers Laughing


Thank you for this consultation. I think you see clearly the market at which my program has very specifically been targeted towards and thus, I extend my offer to you too.

Join up and be free of your over-rated day job. You can expect the 10 million after you have worked 1 month for me fulltime in the endless Veld fields of empire.


Liam Fremen
Insurgent New Eden Tribe
RAZOR Alliance
Posted - 2005.07.19 19:58:00 - [9]
 



According to my surname i should mine for you :(

Not so funny btw..

Dyvim Slorm
Robonia
Posted - 2005.07.19 22:12:00 - [10]
 

Edited by: Dyvim Slorm on 19/07/2005 22:11:57
Originally by: PaulAtreides

To start you off I offer one shiny Velator and 2 basic mining lasers. I can also supply Iteron Mk. 1's where necessary.



Seems a bit generous, 1 basic miner is enough, so they have to work twice as long Smile

Valerie Ganor
Minmatar
Corona Providence
Posted - 2005.07.25 08:08:00 - [11]
 

You cant even fit in 2 basic miners on a velator -_-

Leilani Solaris
0utbreak
Outbreak.
Posted - 2005.07.25 08:51:00 - [12]
 

i'm in! Cool

James Lyrus
Lyrus Associates
The Star Fraction
Posted - 2005.07.25 12:31:00 - [13]
 

I'm sorry, but in order to accept your offer i'd need at least a bantam to go mining in. Velators are just so unfashionable these days.

Morela
Gallente
Thundercats
RAZOR Alliance
Posted - 2005.07.26 14:14:00 - [14]
 



Wow.. You sound like a FA CEO.

SHAME!

NTRabbit
Caldari
Guiding Hand Social Club
Posted - 2005.07.28 06:10:00 - [15]
 

I fully endorse this event or product Neutral

Haitchi Allamut
Manticore.
Posted - 2005.07.30 23:52:00 - [16]
 

omg, awsome! Were do i sign to give up my personal freedom?

PaulAtreides
Evolution
Band of Brothers
Posted - 2005.07.31 20:00:00 - [17]
 

Edited by: PaulAtreides on 31/07/2005 20:01:09

I would at this stage in the program, like to not thank anyone for their labor and toils. Since it's inception, this program has garnered just under 1 Billion ISK. This can be attributed to a few things:

  • You guys a all lazy and should be regularly whipped.

  • NPC activity have been disrupting my operations too much.

  • Your previous life of luxury is still clouding your thoughts on simplicity and hard labor


As a solution for this terrible failure, I will now be recruiting for a PvE department also.

Details are as such:

You will be given a n00b ship with 2 civilian guns, no shield boosters and no warp core stabs. Good hunting.

Back to Work!!

Seth Killbain
Caldari Provisions
Posted - 2005.08.06 11:22:00 - [18]
 

PMSL!

Birkir
Aliastra
Posted - 2005.08.08 22:09:00 - [19]
 

Edited by: Birkir on 08/08/2005 22:09:26
Edited by: Birkir on 08/08/2005 22:09:17
Flying with RKK has turned you into an evil evil man.

cool new sig though... changes color and everything Very Happy

Harisdrop
Gallente
Vindicate and Deliverance
Posted - 2005.08.11 17:36:00 - [20]
 

Do you have any current contracts?

Has an Alliance joined lately to your program?

Do you have a safe region all your slaves can create you wealth in pure security?

I am looking for referances!




PaulAtreides
Evolution
Band of Brothers
Posted - 2005.08.14 04:05:00 - [21]
 

Originally by: Harisdrop
1. Do you have any current contracts?
2. Has an Alliance joined lately to your program?
3. Do you have a safe region all your slaves can create you wealth in pure security?
4. I am looking for referances!


1. Yes.
2. Not recently, no (but I have ensla... employed *cough* members form all alliances)
3. No. That is not the point. The point is for them to struggle and be in constant danger and be killed a lot, while they earn me money. It is the hardship that gives them spiritual growth.
4. Get your people to talk to my people.


PaulAtreides
Evolution
Band of Brothers
Posted - 2005.08.15 05:45:00 - [22]
 

Edited by: PaulAtreides on 15/08/2005 05:51:25

Here is some correspondance from one of my model recruits:

To the most glorious and exhaulted PaulAtreides

2005.08.09 03:08:00

It is with trembling hands and prostrate body do I unseeingly type to you, oh most magnificent and fearless master. It has been but weeks full of time that I have toiled over this message, scurging myself when I had evil thoughts of using my long-amassed ill-begotten savings as a result of such unknowing sins as trading ****ographic holovids and stealing of ships from safespots. Things that would be an anathema for you oh august and blessed one, and it is only through the haze of fasting that I may work up the imputence to pen the depths of my failure. The dirt that clogs the nacels of your thrusters is but a summer sky I look up to from my land of putrecence.

To whit end, after a period of fasting and ritual scarring so that my thoughts could be assured of reflecting the purity of your glorious light, the angelic chorus instructed me to expunge myself from the vulgar and profane items I had previously horded such as ISK and ships and consecrate the proceeds of my idolitry to you, oh portrait of majesty and magnificence.

But I soon realized that my billions of ISK were corrupt and pedestrian, and you, oh radiant and eminent of leaders, and so a friendly soul named "HotCHix69" (who also understood the majesty of your perfection) offered to sell me a rare Blueprint of Tech 2 Origin. And so, after a long string of transfering of money to friends of HotCHix69 I have assured myself that my filthy and contemptable soul will not have corrupted my offering.

I have, through the kid-gloved hands of likewise souls, placed this amalgum of my life-savings on Escrow in the said-same system of Jita, at the Caldari Navy Assembly plant orbiting Jita IV - Moon 4.

I know that my repulsive truculent is but bile-filled invective to the halcyonic script in which you normally face, and as such, I know that any incoming communique is a forgery put out by your innumerable enemies, whom we know are as air molecules in a LOX tank, and of which your regal power finds equally as disposed of, but not having your regal constitution, I am forced to go by your shining signal which pervades the galaxy.

I will continue to slave with every passing minute, oh illustrious laureate, as you have dicated through your origional guide on GalNet (E-O Forums). May your magnificence be spread through my actions, throughout the world of Eve.

Your most odious and ribald of servants,
Wraeththu Quilanti


 

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