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blankseplocked Kei Darker Drinking for a Monocle Bond
 
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Kei Darker
Posted - 2011.09.05 03:05:00 - [1]
 

Edited by: Kei Darker on 05/09/2011 14:48:20
Edited by: Kei Darker on 05/09/2011 14:47:38

It is now morning. I have sobered up and this limited time offering is closed.

original offering:

Edit: Clarifying something (probably not very well... as I have been drinking.) - However, this is completely serious.
So I was thinking. And Drinking. Heavily drinking ... and I would like a monocle.
I feel this would enhance my ability to successfully compete against other traders who lack a monocle.
However, I do not want to pay for my own monocle. At least, I don't want to have to pay for it all at once!
Therefore, I propose the following:

The Kei Darker Monocle Bond!

This bond will not be associated with my other bonds. It won't get a number (i.e. this will not be bond 9).
It won't really have a reasonable payout (2% per month).
Basically, I'm next to begging for a donation. But whatever. Maybe you're drinking too!?

However, I will pay you back :D

Terms of the bond:

This bond will be for 1,200,000,000 ISK
The bond will last for 60 days and have 2 payouts.
The first payout will take place 30 days from the start of the bond. The payout will be for 624,000,000 ISK.
The second payout will take place 60 days from the start date of the bond. This payout will be for 612,000,000 ISK.
Yah yah yah. I'm offering 2% per month on an uncollateralized loan. Shut up.
This bond is for the funsies. And for the monocle. So hook me up. I'll honor it.

If you're looking for credentials or whatever, see my last 8 bonds. I shouldn't need to explain how I will make ISK to pay back the bond when obviously a monocle doesn't make ISK. (I freaking make a crapload of Isk in the market from my real(er) bonds)

Ok. So now who wants to be that one investor who wants to hook me up with a monocle for the competitive stylish edge over my competitors!? It could be you.

Investors:
1,200,000,000 Uncollateralized at 2% per month on what I have
- Could be you!

Companion Qube
Minmatar
Electron Conservation Inc
SRS.
Posted - 2011.09.05 03:10:00 - [2]
 

I really need to start a monocle rental service.

Kei Darker
Posted - 2011.09.05 03:17:00 - [3]
 

Originally by: Companion Qube
I really need to start a monocle rental service.


do eeeeeeeet!

In the meantime, loan me 1.2 billion isk for one at the above listed terms! :D

Kara Audanie
Posted - 2011.09.05 03:39:00 - [4]
 

Edited by: Kara Audanie on 05/09/2011 03:41:35
Uncollateralized bond at 1.2 bil isk for buying (useless) monocles. The bonds be paid back in 2 months and the interest for those bonds are 4%...

Why the h*** would anyone want to loan you that much for 60 days and only to get so little return? I think it better off that you ask your own corp mates for a loan. Rolling Eyes

Kei Darker
Posted - 2011.09.05 03:42:00 - [5]
 

Edited by: Kei Darker on 05/09/2011 03:46:21
Edited by: Kei Darker on 05/09/2011 03:43:42
Originally by: Kara Audanie
Edited by: Kara Audanie on 05/09/2011 03:41:35
Uncollateralized bond at 1.2 bil isk for buying (useless) monocles. The bonds be paid back in 2 months and the interest for those bonds are 4%...

Why the h*** would anyone want to loan you that much for 60 days and only to get so little return? I think it better off that you ask your own corp mates for a loan. Rolling Eyes


You will do it because you love me!
And because it's amusing!
of course :)
and. and. because I haven't seen any other monocle bonds and I'm starting a deliciously disgusting trend!

and. if you do it I'll grab another beer from the fridge.

Kara Audanie
Posted - 2011.09.05 03:47:00 - [6]
 

Originally by: Kei Darker
Edited by: Kei Darker on 05/09/2011 03:43:42
Originally by: Kara Audanie
Edited by: Kara Audanie on 05/09/2011 03:41:35
Uncollateralized bond at 1.2 bil isk for buying (useless) monocles. The bonds be paid back in 2 months and the interest for those bonds are 4%...

Why the h*** would anyone want to loan you that much for 60 days and only to get so little return? I think it better off that you ask your own corp mates for a loan. Rolling Eyes


You will do it because you love me!
And because it's amusing!
of course :)
and. and. because I haven't seen any other monocle bonds and I'm starting a deliciously disgusting trend!


Mmm very well, I'll laugh very hard when I see the "so called" investor loaning you that much. Lol

Kei Darker
Posted - 2011.09.05 03:59:00 - [7]
 

Edited by: Kei Darker on 05/09/2011 03:59:36
If this doesn't get filled by the time I am no longer drunk, then I will be very disappointed.
By my estimates, there are roughly 2 hours remaining in that time period.
If it does not fill, I may need to remain without a monocle.
If it does fill... I will be bound to repay at these ridiculously low interest rates :D

also, why the quotes around "so called" instead of around "investor"?

Brock Nelson
Posted - 2011.09.05 04:00:00 - [8]
 

Reserving 20b

Kei Darker
Posted - 2011.09.05 04:02:00 - [9]
 

Originally by: Brock Nelson
Reserving 20b

no no no silly. There is no need to pledge 20b.

Kei Darker
Posted - 2011.09.05 04:52:00 - [10]
 

This offering is sadly about to close. If I fall asleep before I sober up, it will be no more!

Umad Bro Questionmark
Posted - 2011.09.05 05:42:00 - [11]
 

troll: This is how you know people don't trust you well enough to make the big bond yet.

srs answr: Kudos for asking for a loan for a monocle. I always wondered who was going to do it first Razz


Kei Darker
Posted - 2011.09.05 14:46:00 - [12]
 

Edited by: Kei Darker on 05/09/2011 14:54:46
Edited by: Kei Darker on 05/09/2011 14:54:32
AAAAAAND now it's the morning and I'm all sobered up. This bond offering is now closed, and unfulfilled.

On the one hand, that's ok because in 60 days I'll have roughly 1,236,000,000 more ISK than I would have if someone were to have accepted the bond. One way of looking at that is as 20 million ISK per day over that 60 day period that now I will get to keep in my wallet.

The downside: I don't get to have one of those (actually not very attractive) monocles! This means that every time Tom Hagen posts in any of my threads, I am going to feel inferior.
----------------------------
On a more serious note though... I'm a little surprised that nobody took me up on this offering, even if just to force me to pay it back and have 1.2ish billion less ISK in my wallet than I would in 60 days.

Anyways... maybe I'll get one of those ugly things in the future.
Until then, I've got my EYES on you Tom!

Whilst cruising the internet, I came across today's comic from XKCD. It is quite appropriate. http://xkcd.com/947/

Tom Hagen
Posted - 2011.09.05 20:26:00 - [13]
 

I was actually seriously considering lending you the ISK!

But it was a poor interest rate for such a useless loan... :-P
Besides my inability to log in to the game on that time frame was also a large factor.

Dont feel bad about feeling inferior, I am suprised more people dont!! ;-)

Kei Darker
Posted - 2011.09.05 21:23:00 - [14]
 

Originally by: Tom Hagen
I was actually seriously considering lending you the ISK!

But it was a poor interest rate for such a useless loan... :-P
Besides my inability to log in to the game on that time frame was also a large factor.

Dont feel bad about feeling inferior, I am suprised more people dont!! ;-)


I had suspected that if anyone were to fill it, it would be you.


 

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