open All Channels
seplocked Intergalactic Summit
blankseplocked On the Verge of Tears
 
This thread is older than 90 days and has been locked due to inactivity.


 
Author Topic

Jascira
Amarr
Animastra
Posted - 2011.09.03 04:31:00 - [1]
 

Good God! Some of what they're having me doing - and some from the Sisters of EVE!!! I'm already ashamed of one thing, and now this? For petty, petty reasons.

What have I done in becoming a capsuleer? Are we all driven to that same dark place - for money?

I'll have to start saying no. What else can I do?

This will kill me if I continue.

God! Or I just may have to go for post-human implants or something. Yay, Sansha wins.

Herzog Wolfhammer
Gallente
Sigma Special Tactics Group
Posted - 2011.09.03 04:39:00 - [2]
 

You seem upset. Please clarify.



Jascira
Amarr
Animastra
Posted - 2011.09.03 04:49:00 - [3]
 

Originally by: Herzog Wolfhammer
You seem upset. Please clarify.

Oh, it's been building up. I've always managed to see some higher purpose to what I've done for the Sisters... or anybody. But this seems like a personal vendetta, totally unbecoming (I'd be more specific but I don't feel that I should try to out the person).

I've just never walked away before. It was never my intention. Naive. Naive. Naive.

But I guess I'll have to. A crisis of faith? Maybe just a crisis of courage. But it makes me angry.

I think I'll be okay. Thank you for responding.

Thgil Goldcore
Amarr
Robonia
Posted - 2011.09.03 05:01:00 - [4]
 

I'm not entirely sure what your dealing with but I know that most capsuleers deal with the same crisis of morals at some point.

I know I did. Once I realized what I was and what I was fighting for it became easier. Remember your loved ones and what they mean to you. Stand for them as no one else can or will.

Peace be with you.

Jascira
Amarr
Animastra
Posted - 2011.09.03 05:09:00 - [5]
 

Originally by: Thgil Goldcore
... Peace be with you.

Thank you for you words. What I'm figuring out is that it's they who need us. I'm no employee of theirs. I've signed no contract. I can just get in that ship and fly. That's the lesson I'm going to take from this.

Thgil Goldcore
Amarr
Robonia
Posted - 2011.09.03 05:11:00 - [6]
 

Can you explain your situation a bit better? perhaps it may help us help you better.

From what I can tell the sisters want you to do something you cannot bring yourself to do, am I correct?

Malcolm Khross
Caldari
Wiyrkomi Honor Guard
Posted - 2011.09.03 10:34:00 - [7]
 

In life, there will be many opportunities for you to say no.

Cherish each of them for our character is not defined simply by what we do, but also by that which we do not.

To your "crisis of faith," remember that you define your purpose, your pursue your path and you have the power to make your decisions. Decide with wisdom, speak with discretion and act with purpose and the path you walk with be one that matches your heart.

Edaine Numenor
Gallente
Disciples of Ston
Posted - 2011.09.03 13:03:00 - [8]
 

Dear Jascira,

When I read your post, I thought to myself, "That is exactly what I went through." I know that some pilots just charge through and keep doing what the agents say. I couldn't. I quit a mission right in the middle of it. I could stand being an agent's personal lackey. Then I ran across Ston Momaki and saw that he wasn't running missions at all, he didn't care to make any ISK. He was about a different mission. While I knew I wasn't cut from that cloth, I decided that I didn't need to compromise myself to have meaningful existence out here. I changed direction. I founded a corporation to support the work of non-violence, equality, and peace. That is how the Disciples of Ston came about.

I tell you this only to say, your moral scrupples are a good thing. It means that you are still human. Let these feelings inform you. It takes more bravery to quit a mission for moral reasons than just to plow through for the ISK. You can make decent ISK doing decent things. Thanks for sharing in honesty. Maybe other pilots will feel the ring of truth in what you are saying. Peace.

Edaine

Killer Gandry
Caldari
Shadow of the Pain
Posted - 2011.09.03 13:14:00 - [9]
 

Frentix is your friend.


Jascira
Amarr
Animastra
Posted - 2011.09.03 17:22:00 - [10]
 

Personally, I think she's insane and I've decided to report her. I'll still give her a modicum of privacy, but I'll mention that she's in the Fahruni system. If you ever come across a dismissive you-know-what who thinks she's God's gift to the scientific community, then you'll know who I mean.

But hopefully she'll be out on her keister. If she thinks it's in any way representative of the Sisters to destroy things and kill people because of her... her... ego! then she has another think coming.

I can only say I hope I'm not wrong in believing that. I thought I knew the S.O.E. (though it's based mostly on a kid's-eye view). I still have hope.

And, believe me, I understand that I can be as goody-two shoes as I want and still be nothing but a monster in the eyes of many. I get that. But sometimes there are limits.

Thanks, posters, for all your good thoughts (I think even the Frentix-idea will come in pretty handy). I've thought about your words, have come to some conclusions, and they've made me stronger, I believe.

What a journey, eh?

Rek Jaiga
Minmatar
Crimson Path
Posted - 2011.09.03 21:50:00 - [11]
 

You'll find corrupt people in every organization or faction in the cluster. It's just unfortunate you had to find one in the SoE, and one that's out for blood no less. Security and defense, I can understand. But from what I gathered that's not what the agent had in mind.

If you want somebody to talk to, you can generally find a lot of pilots in the channel "The Summit". Best of luck on your trek among the stars, and Godspeed!

Jascira
Amarr
Animastra
Posted - 2011.09.03 22:52:00 - [12]
 

Originally by: Thgil Goldcore
... From what I can tell the sisters want you to do something you cannot bring yourself to do, am I correct?

I just wanted to apologize for not getting back to you to answer this right away. I was hoping for conversation, but developed some comm troubles. Anyway, you have a better idea now as to what was involved.

Originally by: Rek Jaiga
If you want somebody to talk to, you can generally find a lot of pilots in the channel "The Summit". Best of luck on your trek among the stars, and Godspeed!

Thank you and I just may drop in!

It's been enlightening to find out that perhaps I'm not such an odd-duck after all.

Rek Jaiga
Minmatar
Crimson Path
Posted - 2011.09.03 23:22:00 - [13]
 

Originally by: An obscure Ammatar musician

"Its time mi soul a get abuse by di system mi just call up Gahd!"


Or in proper GalStandard, "Don't worry about it, the bad people will get what's coming to them sooner or later".

Hope that helps!

Jascira
Amarr
Animastra
Posted - 2011.09.03 23:32:00 - [14]
 

Edited by: Jascira on 03/09/2011 23:58:15
Originally by: Rek Jaiga
... Or in proper GalStandard, "Don't worry about it, the bad people will get what's coming to them sooner or later".

Hope that helps!

I've been playing in front of the mirror at being bad myself - not my style I've decided. I mean, why illustrate the obvious. Smile

Best!

Hmmm, that was kind of foot in mouth, wasn't it? I meant... oh, never-mind... As you were...

Marenteius
Caldari
Red Coats
Posted - 2011.09.04 01:56:00 - [15]
 

I read these posts, hear about the problems you've all gone through and i realize... i've never done so myself. It makes me wonder, am i a sociopath or something? Or am i just real good at not thinking about such things?

Rek Jaiga
Minmatar
Crimson Path
Posted - 2011.09.04 02:47:00 - [16]
 

Originally by: Jascira

I've been playing in front of the mirror at being bad myself - not my style I've decided. I mean, why illustrate the obvious. Smile

Best!

Hmmm, that was kind of foot in mouth, wasn't it? I meant... oh, never-mind... As you were...


..Huh? That was somewhat awkward, but endearing.

And Marenteius, you are one among many capsuleers who do not feel any regret. So while in any normal human population that'd be cause for concern, it would seem to be the norm among us..

Jascira
Amarr
Animastra
Posted - 2011.09.04 02:57:00 - [17]
 

Edited by: Jascira on 04/09/2011 03:27:17
Originally by: Rek Jaiga
..Huh? That was somewhat awkward, but endearing.

Yes, sorry about that. I was kind of playing at a dark side, as if I was a killer-extraordinaire, and I didn't bother to change when I hooked into GalNet. I got embarrassed and, well... foot-in-mouth. Talk about hijacking my own thread!


 

This thread is older than 90 days and has been locked due to inactivity.


 


The new forums are live

Please adjust your bookmarks to https://forums.eveonline.com

These forums are archived and read-only