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Vicker Lahn'se
Minmatar
STRAG3S
Posted - 2011.08.25 06:16:00 - [1]
 

As a result of his sickly affect, John's presence effected a feeling of sympathy from his peers.

Discuss.

Jon Taggart
State War Academy
Posted - 2011.08.25 06:19:00 - [2]
 

Edited by: Jon Taggart on 25/08/2011 06:30:19

I would change it entirely.

As a result of John's sickly disposition, his presence affected his peer's sympathy.

or

Because of John's sickly demeanor, his peers were less sympathetic towards him.

or in 5th grade mode:

John was sick. His friends didn't like him.

or in Academic Prose:

Suffering from acute viral rhinopharyngitis, also known as a common cold, John experienced symptoms including cough, sore throat, runny nose, and fever. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), research has shown that a person is more likely to receive negative reactions when engaged in both verbal and nonverbal communication with strangers and peers when experiencing an illness.

Sorry, my English background got the better of me.

stoicfaux
Gallente
Posted - 2011.08.26 00:15:00 - [3]
 

Originally by: Vicker Lahn'se
As a result of his sickly affect, John's presence effected a feeling of sympathy from his peers.

Discuss.


Affecting an acutely sickly disposition allowed John to elicit sympathy from his peers, a weakness that John used to good effect as he scammed those sympathetic to his "debilitated" condition into bringing him food and volunteering to do his house and yard work.

Khiijan Araal
Posted - 2011.08.26 03:36:00 - [4]
 

Edited by: Khiijan Araal on 26/08/2011 03:36:52
Originally by: Jon Taggart
Edited by: Jon Taggart on 25/08/2011 06:30:19

I would change it entirely.

As a result of John's sickly disposition, his presence affected his peer's sympathy.

or

Because of John's sickly demeanor, his peers were less sympathetic towards him.

or in 5th grade mode:

John was sick. His friends didn't like him.

or in Academic Prose:

Suffering from acute viral rhinopharyngitis, also known as a common cold, John experienced symptoms including cough, sore throat, runny nose, and fever. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), research has shown that a person is more likely to receive negative reactions when engaged in both verbal and nonverbal communication with strangers and peers when experiencing an illness.

Sorry, my English background got the better of me.


http://xkcd.com/326/


 

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