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hired goon
Posted - 2011.08.14 13:54:00 - [1]

I think it's important that all gamers see this so I'm going to post it here. Thanks.

The Pillar
Cornerstone Unlimited
Posted - 2011.08.15 08:51:00 - [2]

Nice find !

Superb song, so funny

Midnight Elites
Echelon Rising
Posted - 2011.08.15 12:04:00 - [3]

Jill Xelitras
Xeltec services
Posted - 2011.08.16 06:34:00 - [4]

Here is a great one, but it's in french. So I will give you a quick translation. But first I'll have to explain the setting.

In this machinima, the GTA IV setting is the character's real-life. He's about to get a phone call from a female recruiter, who tries to get a few clarifications concerning our hero's CV (resumé). That's why the video is titled: The interview (I am a gamer).

So here we go. Nico walks up to the hot-dog stand.

Nico: Hi dude. I'll have the usual hotdog please.
Guy: There you go. It's your prefered one.
Nico: Thanks. - Mmh, delicious. Man what's the recipy for those ?
Guy: Oh, that's easy. I'll explain. I roll the saucages under my armpits and then ...
Nico: Eeeww, thanks a lot mate. Good day and thanks again for explaining ... gee ...
Guy: Hey, wait ... I haven't told you where I put them next.
Nico (to himself): That guy is completely nuts and rambling about his friggin sausages. Oh great, and now the phone. Damn, unknown number. That smells like work.

Here's where the interview starts:

Interviewer: Hello, good day to you sir.
Nico: Hello.

I: Hi, my name is Miss Segendo. I'm a recruiter and I took the liberty of calling you after viewing your CV on We are very interested, but we would have some additional questions we'd like to ask you. Are you still interested ?

N: Certainly, yes, of course ... actually I was just looking at some curves and the latest trends.

I: Perfect. So first question: Have you ever been in a critical situation and if yes, how did you get out of it ?

N: Of course. Let me explain.

-> (Song)
Frequently my superiors send me to bring conflicts to an end,
in different times, on different planets, in hostile lands.
I'm supposed to infiltrate, that's my role as a spy, you see.
But this one time as soon as I land the enemy puts the pressure on me.
The mission is about to fail, I try to find a solution.
I have to adapt because death isn't an option.
You'll understand, the only way to stay alive,
is to turn the enemy's strategy against his hive.
So I use his weapons and go fully berserk,
I copy his techniques and now I run off these jerks.
One objective in my mind, I advance bit by bit.
I finally achieve my goal, contract fulfilled, that was it.

Because I am a gamer. I am a gamer.

In survival skills, I'm a real pro.
On my home planet or on a different one,
it's all the same, you know.

I am a gamer <-

N: ... and that's how, turning your competitors' techniques and strategies to your own advantage, it is possible in my opinion to attain your goals faster.

I: Indeed, indeed. I'll note that down. Now in respect to your sense of responsibilities: Have you ever managed a team ?

N: A team ?

-> (song)
The last time I led a team into battle,
we got asked to fight, a challenge to test our mettle,
Wily Fey was it's name,
a friggin huge dragon dame,
whose ghastly breath alone,
could exterminate a whole zone. <-

Girl in white dress: Help ! help ! An enormous dragon has eaten all of Northridge.

Party members: What ?

Girl in white dress: An enormous dragon has eaten all of Northridge and has then returned to its dungeon.

Party leader: My friends, are we going to let a dragon eat Northridge end get away unpunished ? We're going to help you lady.

Girl in white dress: Oh, really ?

Party leader: Yes, because ...

-> (song)
... we're part of clan <edge>
So we went on our way,
got past all traps,
straight into the fray,

All the way through, at the end of its lair,
the dragon awaits,
We check our gear before we unsheath our blades.

Elf: Uhm, what is a Noritch ?
party member: Oh, shut up already.

Jill Xelitras
Xeltec services
Posted - 2011.08.16 06:35:00 - [5]

The battle still rages, and as we fight hard for a victory,
I know that one day our names will go down in history.
Because the hearts of my brothers and the eyes of my sisters,
are as keen on our raids as they are in any other parts of this world.

The reason why I can lead a team this well,
it's what every member in my place could tell:

I'm a gamer. I am a gamer.

I know myself as well as I know my next, you can put it to the test.
Leading or being led, I always give my best.

I am a gamer. <-

N: ... and therefore I think I have the sense of responsibility required to lead any team into any kind of challenge.

I: Aha, this is impressive indeed. I think this part should pose no problems. I imagine that this is due to your past experience. Could you tell me more about your past employment.

N: Mmhh, let me search my memory.

-> (song)
I was a delivery guy, I handled hundreds of packs, always on time. You see,
I risked my life in thousands of ways, with odds stacked against me.
I was a plumber with a mustache, I saved many a princess,
I was in many orders but didn't always go to mess.
I was round as a ball and yellow like a lemon, among other things
and disguised as a hedgehog, I caught hundreds of rings.
Being mercenary deep in Africa got me my kicks,
I was a jetpilot and I even worked smashing bricks.

I was a pirate, a soldier in all armed factions,
and sent by kings, I saved entire nations.
A Captain on the sea and in space were my features,
I traded goods with most peculiar creatures.

I am a gamer. I am a gamer.

Finding myself in the unknown, no reason to be scared,
I consider it a challenge, and I win because I dared. <-

N: ... and due to this vast experience I can adapt to any situation and take on any challenge in my professional career.

I: Ah, I understand. You seem to have a high learning capacity and you seem to easily adapt to all kind of situations. There is just that, no matter how often I read your CV, it doesn't indicate what your initial training was ?

N: My training ? But I thought you had understood: I am a gamer.

I: Ah, a gamer. I see. The type of person you can't rely on. A geek, as the say, who's going to use all the company's bandwith or sleep during important meetings, because he went to bed late due to a raid. Or who is going to be on sick-leave everytime a new expansion is released for his favourite MMO.
Well, finally, excuse us for taking your time ...

N: No, wait. Seriously, stop with the clichés there. I really think you misunderstood and I can try to explain in a different way.

I: Oh, ok than. Try if you have to.

Nico (sings):
I am a gamer,
You can't see me, you don't know me,
But know that, from were I am now, I can see you.
I don't fit the pictures that haunt your mind.
I'm not a basement dweller, covered in acne, anti-social or left behind.
I know the difference between real and virtual,
and it is by choice that I spend my time in a world of pixels.
I don't have problems, I work and I pay taxes.
I pay my bills, I have friends and I vote when I have to.

My generation was born with electronic games,
my generation knows how to define "playful fun"
You think I'm introverted, blocked, in need of a shrink,
When someone goes mad, some game is to blame - well that's what you think.

The truth is: I'm following closely important events, I'm well linked in,
without relying on the news reported on the telly,
The gamers with no life are an exception,
but don't you think that you can know me easily.

Because my cultural background and references are infinite,
and if you ask me why I smile during an interview,
it is because I know, that even if I explain it a thousand times to you,
these four words you'll never understand:

I am a gamer !


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