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Tasakagi Okanata
Okanata Media Services
Posted - 2011.07.25 12:55:00 - [1]

Citizens and comrades of the State, rejoice! The Gallente have been defeated! An insidious plot planned by a hardline Gallente agent was recently unveiled in the Poinen system before it could be put into action!

The vile conspiracy was brought to light when an undercover crack agent of the Caldari Providence Directorate intercepted a private communique between undercover Gallente operative Nils Soilent (who formerly masqueraded as a specialty furniture salesman, with a shop located in Poinen's Nugoeihuvi Corporation Development Studio) and a smuggler based deep inside the borders of the Federation! According to the agent who uncovered the plot - who we will only refer to by his secret codename, "Cherry Blossom," - the communique was a detailed order for an exotic piece of furniture that Cherry Blossom immediately identified as "suspicious" and "created for a singularly unwholesome purpose."

Said Cherry Blossom during his interview with us, "When I saw this order form, it didn't take me long to figure out what this creep was going to do. During my time in the service I've done work in the Federation, and I recognized this particular type of furniture from some of the, uh, movies I watched while I was undercover over there. I knew then that Soilent must have been a part of a wide-ranging conspiracy to corrupt respectable, honest Caldari citizens with smutty movies!"

After identifying the contraband, Cherry Blossom, with lightning speed, organized a sting operation to intercept the furniture shipment before it could be delivered. Thanks to his timely action, the furniture was confiscated before it could be used to corrupt Caldari society!

All patriotic citizens of the State should thank Cherry Blossom for his constant vigilance and heroic actions. We at Okanata Media Services certainly do!

Despite the phenomenal success of the sting operation, the mastermind of this insidious conspiracy, Nils Soilent himself, was tipped off before State officials breached his apartments at the Nugoeihuvi station. It is believed at this time that he fled back into Federation space, where he most likely continues to supply producers of dirty movies under the protection of the Federation!

Patriotic Caldari capsuleers have already posted several billion ISK bounties on Soilent's head.

Citizens and comrades of the State, salute them for their just actions!

Kerron Dex Ormand
Posted - 2011.07.25 14:23:00 - [2]

Edited by: Kerron Dex Ormand on 25/07/2011 14:32:41

Gyra Rho
New Eden Racing Association
Posted - 2011.07.25 16:39:00 - [3]

Looks like Muck Raker has some competition now. *grins*

Alain Colcer
Quantum Cats Syndicate
Posted - 2011.07.25 16:49:00 - [4]

There is nothing wrong with Smutty movies, they are a multimillion isk industry in the Federation, why would Caldari feel they are corrupted by them is beyond my comprehension.

Paul J Keating
The Light on the Hill
Posted - 2011.07.25 22:57:00 - [5]

Stopping a few holoreels at the border probably won't have that much of an effect if brave citizens living inside the State want to experience freedom and enjoy the wonders of Gallente entertainment.

Atropos Group
Posted - 2011.07.25 23:17:00 - [6]

When capsuleers are being fed this kind of crap on a regular basis, something is wrong.

Alex Sinai
Mining And Probing Specialists
Posted - 2011.07.26 15:26:00 - [7]

Probably some official at Caldari state censorship was offended by beautiful Gallente x-rated freedom movies and beauty of furniture used by Gallente performers so the poor soul decided to punish honest businessman who imported these inappropriate movies into Caldari space.
Of course Caldari capsuleers interested in catching that gentleman to make sure they have enough contraband supply of these movies for themselves and for sale all over Caldari State.
May be i should pay a visit to this businessman. For personal apology to Caldari capsuleers community of course. Very Happy

Andreus Ixiris
Mixed Metaphor
Posted - 2011.07.26 16:00:00 - [8]

"Cherry Blossom". Cherry blossoms are synonymous in Caldari culture with purity and innoncence.

Someone's never gotten laid, and he's mad about it! Laughing


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