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Vaari
Amarr
Imperial Pharmacy
Posted - 2011.07.19 21:24:00 - [1]
 

It has come to my attention, that arch-witch, Revan Nefris is arranging sinister competition, where females and males in fertile breeding age are required to rites of sinister lust to the audience and judges. This competition is EVE' next top model, and it is utterly sinister happening.

Arch-witch Nefris is once again proven his misguided ways, since even the basic idea of this competition is evil. Greed, immoral gestures and thoughts are running rampart amongs the competitors, judges and audience while this evil show is running, thus endangering the purity and morals of especially younger spaceship captains. In my researches, your virgin ladies are especially in danger, which comes from the arch-witch.

Church of Providence is now forced to make decisive act, and close this competition before its poison is spreaded any further. It is hereby declared, that joining this competition is forbidden. Also making any efforts from the judges to actually judges are met with most fierce volleys of edicts, declarations and demands for generous compensation to the Church of Providence.

This immoral search of next top spacewench must stop even before it has started. All good and just spaceship captain are to obey my declaration, and to boycott this evil happening.

Outlaw Jenner
Caldari
Jovian Order of the Navigators
Posted - 2011.07.19 21:31:00 - [2]
 

Edited by: Outlaw Jenner on 19/07/2011 21:33:28
I guess it's a good thing you can't actually do anything about it then.

It's typical that you undereducated morons think you have a clue of what goes on inside an event you couldn't enter if you wanted to.

I believe the popular saying amongst the younger capsuleers is "You mad bro?"

Also, just becasue a woman wont sleep with you, doesn't make them a virgin... it just proves that you are not worth breeding with, intentionally or accidentally.

Revan Neferis
Amarr
Propaganda Due
Posted - 2011.07.19 21:53:00 - [3]
 

Originally by: Vaari
It has come to my attention, that arch-witch, Revan Nefris is arranging sinister competition, where females and males in fertile breeding age are required to rites of sinister lust to the audience and judges. This competition is EVE' next top model, and it is utterly sinister happening.

Arch-witch Nefris is once again proven her misguided ways, since even the basic idea of this competition is evil. Greed, immoral gestures and thoughts are running rampart amongs the competitors, judges and audience while this evil show is running, thus endangering the purity and morals of especially younger spaceship captains. In my researches, your virgin ladies are especially in danger, which comes from the arch-witch.


I'm honored with your praises Lord Vaari.

To those delicious infidels wondering what this is about, Lord Vaari speaks of one of my exclusive Productions, Top Star sucess in New Eden related to Entertainment media Bringing Capsuleers to become stars on New Eden's hall of Fame.

EVE's Next Top Model News:

Season I:

Video Teaser

ISD News:

pilot modelling competition down to final five reported by ISD Stephan Lau | 2011.03.15 19:06:09

pilot modelling contest winner announced reported by ISD Stephan Lau | 2011.03.20 19:22:19

Season II

Video Teaser

ISD News:

second season of sani sabik modelling contest reaches finals reported by ISD Stephan Lau | 2011.06.27 23:40:24

modelling contest winner announced reported by ISD Stephan Lau | 2011.07.07 21:41:54

Season III coming soon pilots now with special endorsement!


Originally by: Vaari
Church of Providence is now forced to make decisive act, and close this competition before its poison is spreaded any further. It is hereby declared, that joining this competition is forbidden. Also making any efforts from the judges to actually judges are met with most fierce volleys of edicts, declarations and demands for generous compensation to the Church of Providence.
This immoral search of next top spacewench must stop even before it has started. All good and just spaceship captain are to obey my declaration, and to boycott this evil happening.


Revan Neferis
Thrice-Illustrious Sovereign
Sani Sabik

Half Cocked Jack
Posted - 2011.07.19 22:05:00 - [4]
 

Behold, my Lord Vaari, what foul magicks the arch-witch has wrought! Seeing that your just and righteous edict from on high all but doomed her plans of wicked, pagan revelry, her only recourse was to summon loathsome demonic powers and alter time so that her heinous hoedown could be accomplished before your interdiction! What nefarious devilry!

Jason Galente
Gallente
mishima ryu
Posted - 2011.07.19 22:16:00 - [5]
 

You're a little late.


Revan Neferis
Amarr
Propaganda Due
Posted - 2011.07.19 22:18:00 - [6]
 

Originally by: Half ****ed Jack
Behold, my Lord Vaari, what foul magicks the arch-witch has wrought! Seeing that your just and righteous edict from on high all but doomed her plans of wicked, pagan revelry, her only recourse was to summon loathsome demonic powers and alter time so that her heinous hoedown could be accomplished before your interdiction! What nefarious devilry!



"To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour
."


Originally by: Vaari
In my researches, your virgin ladies are especially in danger, which comes from the arch-witch.


Also confirming that.

Revan Neferis
Thrice-Illustrious Sovereign
Sani Sabik

Zaara Arran
Posted - 2011.07.22 08:14:00 - [7]
 

Wait wait... it's a sexual contest? Like... we have sex?

Suddenly, I regret not entering.

Revan Neferis
Amarr
Propaganda Due
Posted - 2011.07.22 12:55:00 - [8]
 

Edited by: Revan Neferis on 22/07/2011 14:56:56
Originally by: Zaara Arran
Wait wait... it's a sexual contest? Like... we have sex?

Suddenly, I regret not entering.


All delights of flesh and sins and more to it.
According to my lover there is even another special touch to the whole affair:

Jade Constantine > I love the way he calls you a witch
Jade Constantine > /emote whispering "heretical witch"
Revan Neferis > /emote shivers in delight
Revan Neferis > "In my researches, your virgin ladies are especially in danger, which comes from the arch-witch."
Revan Neferis > I'm now a danger to virgin ladies as well
Jade Constantine > arch witch indeed
Jade Constantine > and clearly you are a danger to virgin ladies
Jade Constantine > I have heard a rumour that your voice can m virgin hymen's break
Revan Neferis > rumors are true
Revan Neferis > very very true...
Jade Constantine > you see
Jade Constantine > poor virgins
Jade Constantine > they are in trouble
Revan Neferis > all of them....
Jade Constantine > clearly
Jade Constantine > /emote kissing you deeply feeling quite taken by the scandal-witch virgin breaker


So beware virgins of New Eden. Don't miss the opportunity of a transcendental pleasure experience at the EVE's Next Top Model Season III.
Coming soon!

Revan Neferis
Thrice-Illustrious Sovereign
Sani Sabik


Nausea
Veto.
Veto Corp
Posted - 2011.07.22 13:45:00 - [9]
 

Speaking as the current title-holder, I can indeed confirm that the rumors are indeed true, and that the contest is a true "transcendental" experience.

And you wouldn't want to miss out on one of those now, would you?


Nadia "Nausea" Arath, Sani Sabik


Killer Gandry
Caldari
Shadow of the Pain
Posted - 2011.07.22 14:27:00 - [10]
 

I love it when someone thinks he can tell me what I am allowed to do and what not.

I love it even more when he or she finally realises his opinion matters jack **** to me.

By the way Vaari, your virginity is safe. I can't imagine anyone, be it female or male wanting to sleep with you. Not even for ISK.
I tried to convince one of my "servants" to mate with you in order to regain freedom. All preferred to remain under my "employment".


Vlad Cetes
Caldari
H A V O C
Cascade Imminent
Posted - 2011.07.22 18:51:00 - [11]
 

There are multiple problems with your announcement:

1) Neferis is a female, not a male. You refer to her as him, I suggest learning proper use of pronouns.
2) You are significantly too late for.
3) No one cares about your opinion

David Estarra
Caldari
Starside Lost
Posted - 2011.07.25 13:14:00 - [12]
 

Edited by: David Estarra on 25/07/2011 13:13:52
Top Model was an experience I can't wait to repeat.. Vaari you can rest assured, this is one contestant that won't be bothering the virgin ladies.

The virgin men on the other hand, I promise nothing....

Darveses
Fantastulousification Inc.
Posted - 2011.07.25 17:14:00 - [13]
 

Originally by: David Estarra
virgin men



........... what is this you are talking about, Dave?


David Estarra
Caldari
Starside Lost
Posted - 2011.07.25 17:46:00 - [14]
 

Originally by: Darveses
Originally by: David Estarra
virgin men



........... what is this you are talking about, Dave?




*whistles innocently*

Well, I should have added.. should any actually exist...

Uraniae Fehrnah
Posted - 2011.07.26 12:37:00 - [15]
 

Perhaps attending the second season has left an indelible mark upon my soul, but for some reason I'm very nearly offended that in this blistering declaration there was no mention at all of the dangers of holy matrimony that came up in the last season. Surely such a despicable indulgence such as that should have made any sort of listed warning.


So, onto another matter. Does this mean the Church of Providence will officially be declaring me a heretic simply for attending? Or is this edict retroactive and I am already a heretic in the eyes of the Church of Providence for my participation in Season Two? I eagerly await some sort of answer about this, its somewhat important after all.

But, in all fairness I suppose I should mention that regardless of the answer, I will be attending Season Three. I had far too much fun and learned a great deal about myself from the last season that not attending would practically be criminal.

Norrin Ellis
Venture Racing
Posted - 2011.07.26 12:48:00 - [16]
 

Vaari, I had a good chuckle at the proclamation, as I'm not exactly a candidate for membership in the Church of Providence. Nevertheless, I shall not be participating in the next competition. My curiosity was satisfied quite well the last time.

Revan Neferis
Amarr
Propaganda Due
Posted - 2011.07.26 16:15:00 - [17]
 

Originally by: Uraniae Fehrnah
Perhaps attending the second season has left an indelible mark upon my soul, but for some reason I'm very nearly offended that in this blistering declaration there was no mention at all of the dangers of holy matrimony that came up in the last season.


Indeed Lord Vaari missed a thing or two about that.

Revan Neferis
Thrice-Illustrious Sovereign
Sani Sabik

Qansh
Gallente
Triskelion Ouroboros
Posted - 2011.07.26 19:16:00 - [18]
 

A stuffed Vaari would make a very fine camera drone in my estimation.

Marrano Cardosa
Revenent Defence Corperation
Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
Posted - 2011.07.27 00:05:00 - [19]
 

Originally by: Vaari
It has come to my attention, that arch-witch, Revan Nefris is arranging sinister competition, where females and males in fertile breeding age are required to rites of sinister lust to the audience and judges. This competition is EVE' next top model, and it is utterly sinister happening.

Arch-witch Nefris is once again proven his misguided ways, since even the basic idea of this competition is evil. Greed, immoral gestures and thoughts are running rampart amongs the competitors, judges and audience while this evil show is running, thus endangering the purity and morals of especially younger spaceship captains. In my researches, your virgin ladies are especially in danger, which comes from the arch-witch.

Church of Providence is now forced to make decisive act, and close this competition before its poison is spreaded any further. It is hereby declared, that joining this competition is forbidden. Also making any efforts from the judges to actually judges are met with most fierce volleys of edicts, declarations and demands for generous compensation to the Church of Providence.

This immoral search of next top spacewench must stop even before it has started. All good and just spaceship captain are to obey my declaration, and to boycott this evil happening.


Ordinarily I would have no interest in this event. But Vaari, given your hearty endorsement, I don't know that I can resist watching it!

Fort
Veto.
Posted - 2011.07.27 07:05:00 - [20]
 

I dare you to stop me from having anything to do with Season 3 Vaari. My blades are always awaiting the feel of new flesh if you care to try.

Maximum Kiely
Caldari
Kiely and Son Salvage
Posted - 2011.07.27 19:38:00 - [21]
 

Originally by: Vaari
...even the basic idea of this competition is evil.


You're really scraping the bottom of the evil bucket there Vaari.

Marenteius
Caldari
Red Coats
Posted - 2011.07.29 13:43:00 - [22]
 

Now me, i think the funniest parts of this whole speech of Vaari's is that A. He thinks he could stop Revan from doing whatever the hell she wants with the virgins, and b. that he actually used the term "spacewench"... that just made me bust a gut.

Chii Izaki
Posted - 2011.07.30 11:31:00 - [23]
 

Thank you Vaari! After a long vacation, your "announcement" reminds me how gospel-blinded a lot of you Amarrans are.

There are few things that would cause me to question loyalty to the state. The relationship the megacorps insist on maintaining with you fools is one of those few.


 

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