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blankseplocked ITT: I kill a failfit carrier and engage the craziest guy in EVE
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Treia Laguna
Posted - 2011.07.15 06:28:00 - [1]

Oh boy... where to begin? This has been one hell of a night. I am physically and mentally drained after engaging in heated conversation for 2 hours. As a low SP character, I engaged a 2004 character in his thanatos and successfully keeps his attention for 2 hours.

Some background: Stokar is a former CEO of mine, someone I had the chance to know for a while. I would not call this a pleasant experience by any means. On several ocassions he has threatened me for 'taking' items from him. Things he had 'given' me during my stay in syndicate with him. I chose not to give them back when I left his failure of a corp. Well, good on him. Some banter back and forth and I inform him he will be receiving a wardec in the future. Well, earlier today I finally got around to wardeccing him. He has joined a new, fail alliance, full of ****fitters. So I call up my good friend, have him run up a vote to dec em, and send the money along. Plan gets put on hold for a little bit, but I eventually drop roles in my corp (yet another ****ty "we do everything" corp that turns out to be NRDS and CVA-friendly, what?) and rejoin my friend's corporation. He hits the wardec button, and I decide to get a bit of taunting in. Cue chatlogs.

Relevant bits for the moment:

Continued next post

Chatlogs removed. Please see the C&P Forum Rules for more information. Zymurgist

Treia Laguna
Posted - 2011.07.15 06:31:00 - [2]

So I'm ****ing about, sitting at 0 on gate and still waiting for him. The local pirates warp in. Huginn. Yellow boxes me. Hurricane warps in at 175, then warps to gate at range and starts shooting at my triple-rep myrm. Hrm, don't want to engage these guys, they'll screw up the whole duel. Run the triple reps for a bit, but I don't want to waste cap boosters so eventually I'm forced through. Drat. Right as I decloak and start heading back to the gate, lo and behold our target shows up. He thinks I'm scared, or something. And so begins his ego trip.

Hm... well he's not come back through the gate. And he's not screamed about some sort of tarp I obviously set for him (Because I = local pirates and anyone else in system of course)

Might as well come through and try to get him.

Continued next post

Chatlogs removed. Please see the C&P Forum Rules for more information. Zymurgist

Treia Laguna
Posted - 2011.07.15 06:33:00 - [3]

...Except he's not on gate. Hm.

Ah, well. That's helpful! Thanks. I warp to 0, planning to **** his tengu up, sentries be damned. I land and... He's sitting off station! Giddy! He's got drones deployed! Sweet he failfits his tengus! I mouseover to lock and start burning to him and- Wait... that's no tengu. That's a thanatos! No wonder he has drones out! And they're fighters!

Now, at this point I notice just how far out of docking range he is. I call on local - Perhaps a PL member wants in on the action?!

Alas, not only have I lost the chatlog, but local is not appreciative of my attempts. Calls of 'tarp' run far and wide, and no one comes to even see if I'm telling the truth about the thanatos off station.

Well ****, what am I gonna do now? Taunt him, of course! If I can get that tengu off station... Well, let's try mind games!

Continued next post.

Chatlogs removed. Please see the C&P Forum Rules for more information. Zymurgist

Treia Laguna
Posted - 2011.07.15 06:36:00 - [4]

Hm... Not really working. But wait, what's this?!?!

He couldn't actually-

He starts to align out towards the belt.

I flip my ****. He's actually going to a belt - in pakkonen, where half the goddamn nullsec universe cynos **** in to be dropped off. There's a dozen cyno alts docked up in system from every 0.0 alliance on this side of the universe.

I feverishly call in favors, get on comms with Fatal Ascension (Shout out, brothers. You know who I am), and plead - PLEAD that I have a dumb thanatos in low-sec, in a belt, and it is not a tarp. I have not even been in the alliance a month. The outcome looks grim.

Thanatos warps to belt 3, I follow. I begin taking pictures, just to show that i'm not kidding.

Local just laughs. Obviously a tarp, guys! Well we lock each other up and I am desperately begging in comms now. Come on boys, get me supers, get me dreads, something!

No one in range. All hope seems lost. We play the locking game. He continues to sit in a belt, unaligned. Please PL, MM, some random ****stain corp... Nobody shows up. Nobody believes me.

Fine. I'll just **** him off then. I taunt him over our private convo.

Redboxed! Fighters deploy, come after me. Seven of them! Myrm vs 7 fighters IS NOT GOOD. I align out, quickly into armor. Reps can't keep up - I am forced to retreat. Drats.

Wait, the fighters show up and start attacking me! And the carrier is GCC'd so they get shot by the sentry guns! I quickly hit the cap boosters, engage my reps, and start targetting one!

Continued next post

Chatlogs removed. Please see the C&P Forum Rules for more information. Zymurgist

Treia Laguna
Posted - 2011.07.15 06:38:00 - [5]

I sure did buddy. You just lost 40m and I didn't even lose my ship or get into hull.

But I can't take that carrier. I keep reporting status in comms, telling them the carrier has ****ing GCC'd in a belt in pakkonen. This is not a trap, guys! Come on! Work with me!

Wait - He's not serious? Surely he docked up...

I warp back just in time to see him warp away. Drats, he did. If I taunt him maybe I can get him back and kill another fighter or two.

He does not like to be accused of running.

Hehe, let's taunt him.

Continued next post

Chatlogs removed. Please see the C&P Forum Rules for more information. Zymurgist

Treia Laguna
Posted - 2011.07.15 06:41:00 - [6]

Edited by: Treia Laguna on 15/07/2011 06:42:02
He warps back to belt!

I am flabbergasted... I didn't expect him to do this - Twice!

A long back and forth battle starts. He launches sentries - T1 wardens. The ****? And a heavy energy neut drone. Uh...

I keep range, seeing if I can pick off some of those drones. The neut drone comes at me, I web it and kill it. The wardens start pounding away from 70km.

Unfortunately, I underestimated the range they can hit me from! Those hurt. Still, I keep him distracted with the wardens pounding away.

I keep yelling at comms, this ****ing thanatos has deployed T1 sentries and is trying to kill me in a low-sec belt! I point out his eve-kill record (****FITS EVERYWHERE) and have former corpmates in alliance vouch for me. They know how stupid this guy is. Get dreads or something guys!! They start discussing where they'd have to go to actually get here. Midpoints and such. Nothing serious.

I figure out that I can tank the wardens with just my reps running on cap recharge. THank goodness I didn't bring buffer.

He brings out a surprise. I had wondered why I had been redboxed when he didn't have fighters out. Turns out it was ECM. Go figure.

Somewhere around this time he deploys a fighter in lieu of the heavy energy neut drone he lost earlier. I web it, engage drones and blasters and tear it apart.

He loses two fighters before he wises up and starts trying to call them in when I get into hull. It doesn't work, and he loses his fifth fighter of the night.

He gets me into low armor, and I fire off the cap booster charges as he deploys a total of 3 fighters. He has now reached his wardens again and scooped some of them, so he can deploy more drones (seems he couldn't deploy more than 7 in total).

Comms begins to have some real interest, as I now have kept this guy occupied for an hour and a half and he hasn't disengaged yet. A nyx pilot asks what the **** we're doing about it. Nothing. Fleet starts forming up, thinking seriously about how to get there (They're in fountain)

He deployed the fighters because he thought he could get me into hull. I kill the sixth fighter of the night. My myrm has now killed 120m worth of drones, no hull damage.

Timestamps removed due to character limits.

Continued next post

Chatlogs removed. Please see the C&P Forum Rules for more information. Zymurgist

Treia Laguna
Posted - 2011.07.15 06:44:00 - [7]

He doesn't like this. Scoops the rest of his wardens, unleashes 7 fighters. I cannot hold the field, cap booster charges run out (I had been running them intermittenly to defend myself from the 2-3 fighters at a time).

Fleet is feverishly trying to get waypoints set up and pilots assembled. Carriers only, JDC 5 needed. THis limits our options. It's still going to be multiple jumps, too.

I inform them I must retreat. I buy the 5 whole cap booster 800s in system and warp to station. He'll probably run while I'm gone. Docking and... ****! Wrong station! I undock, warp to the correct one, and quickly grab the boosters.

I get back just in time to see him leave. No! After all this work!

Plan A, once again. Taunting the **** out of him.

Come on damnit! Carriers cyno to midpoint. Target cyno is waiting next door in high-sec. An interceptor cyno is feverishly racing to the second midpoint to deploy for the carriers.

How many times do I need to say he's running to get him to come back? I'm sitting in belt, worrying my ass off some neut's gonna show up.

The carriers reach mid-point two. They are one cyno out from pakkonen. They feverishly start their cap chains to get ready for jump.

Stokar warps back. He now launches some shiny drones (integrated hammerheads) + T2 hammerheads, but not up to his drone limit of 7. I am down to 2 cap charges, worrying heartily he'll pop me before we can get him... please don't deploy fighters!

Trying desperately to bide time for the carriers. I can't die now. I hold out at 40, picking off drones and watching to make sure he doesn't align out.

Someone on comms tells me to get point. I ask them to repeat due to their accent.

Chatlogs removed. Please see the C&P Forum Rules for more information. Zymurgist

Treia Laguna
Posted - 2011.07.15 06:47:00 - [8]

It comes back, clear as day:

Get point, we're ready.

**** it, I don't care if I die. Pop the last two 800s, engage all 3 reps, engage MWD, burn right for him. Scream for the target cyno to jump into system.

I hit my disruptor at 20, cyno enters system at 5, I bump. I settle into an orbit at 15km, and cyno ship lands, engaging all his scrams (we were worried he was stab fitted - has been before).

The cyno lights. Great flashes ring across the sky. I enter low armor, klaxons sounding, but it doesn't matter. The reps keep going, even as his fighters pound my myrm.

Glorious capitals. Reps on me, capacitor transfers on me. Stokar starts his smartbomb - He can hit all of them and their drones at this range, but it doesn't matter. the cyno ship is wiped out, but new points come down on him. A swarm of drones appears, like something I've never seen before (I don't attend CTAs, just small gangs :( ).

He drops into armor. Hull. We're screaming wildly. Nyx aligns out. Someone on comms screams,

"Get his pod too! Get his pod!"

No one to lock. Plan B, smartbombs. We obliterate the cyno's pod :(

The thanatos pops. Nyx pilot screams wildly, he got the pod! I scream wildly now, my turn,

"I kept this guy pinned down for 2 ****ing hours, the loot is mine!"

I greedily scoop whatever's in the wreck. Ew... large modules and a c-type nano plating. I knew it was ****fit! Oh well, no time to dwell. FC orders comm silence, directs the nyx out, capitals to a station.

Nyx warps to safe, cynos out within a few minutes. Capitals dock up, we all start congratlating ourselves. Jesus... That was a long endavour. No one thought we were gonna get it, but I kept him occupied long enough for a hotdrop.

I congatulate myself on the victory and wrap up my private convo with him.

Oh we do look forward to it.

Many congratulations are had. I pat myself on the back very hard. And then the killmail comes out.

What the **** is this ****

*Kill board link removed. Zymurgist

We're flabbergasted. How did he- What did he?...

I can only poke fun at them.

"I told you! I told he ****in' ****fit his stuff! I told you this wasn't a trap!!"

Another round of congratulations. A good day all around for us.

Suddenly, the TS announces someone has joined the channel.

"Hey, whatcha guys doing? We need capitals in [CLASSIFIED]"

Off to save another POS. No rest for the wicked.

Chatlogs removed. Please see the C&P Forum Rules for more information. Zymurgist

Treia Laguna
Posted - 2011.07.15 06:49:00 - [9]

Oh and I get another convo from him, after collecting the corpse.

Hehe. Nope stokar, you cannot intimidate us. Stay gold, man.

Chatlogs removed. Please see the C&P Forum Rules for more information. Zymurgist

Xicron Syndicate
Double Tap Alliance
Posted - 2011.07.15 06:50:00 - [10]

Well done.

Treia Laguna
Posted - 2011.07.15 06:51:00 - [11]

tl;dr: Solo myrmidom engages arch-nemesis who is in a thantos for two hours. Lures him to belt, pops a total of seven fighter drones worth approximately 140m, and keeps him occupied long enough for carriers with JDC5 to come halfway across the universe and blow up an hilariously fit carrier. Everyone rejoices.

full pastebin of these posts in case they... dissappear (Mods, don't hurt me!!)

Goat Holdings
Posted - 2011.07.15 06:57:00 - [12]

Nice read, congrats on the kill.

Without Borders Diversified
Posted - 2011.07.15 07:03:00 - [13]

Well done. Would read again.

Rockets ponies and rainbows
Posted - 2011.07.15 07:16:00 - [14]

Nice storytelling. Please repeat sometime.

Loraine Gess
Posted - 2011.07.15 07:45:00 - [15]

Glad I could help with the wardec. I look forward to hearing your inebriated version!

Stiff Pickle Collection Agency
Posted - 2011.07.15 08:16:00 - [16]

Glorious victory, proof and all.
+9001 for this content.

Posted - 2011.07.15 08:28:00 - [17]

Best post I've read in a long time, bravo OP, do post more often :)

Alexei Greshenko
Creative Cookie Procuring
Rote Kapelle
Posted - 2011.07.15 08:28:00 - [18]

Confirming Stokar is one crazy SOB...

Hopefully his next failfit carrier is coming soon.

Lord Kreza
Posted - 2011.07.15 10:03:00 - [19]

Good read, wish it was all like this tbh.

Mentis Seorsum
Posted - 2011.07.15 11:16:00 - [20]

o.O that fit makes me want to cry
f that, it makes my thanatos cry :(

grats on what looks like a well earned(and deserved) kill
one of the better written posts here of late(but smaller pics, or links please. was a pita to read discreetly at work)

Baron Holbach
Ammo and Tag
Posted - 2011.07.15 11:32:00 - [21]

nice br, i bet this was fun as hell :D

Posted - 2011.07.15 12:43:00 - [22]

Excellent posting, would read again.

Posted - 2011.07.15 13:45:00 - [23]

Fantastic post, and excellent story. PLEASE write again!

Also, for everyone else posting battle reports - THIS is how you do it!

Great job, OP!

Posted - 2011.07.15 14:27:00 - [24]

Wow, more intermittent reinforcement for me to continue reading C&P. Nice posts, nice story, nice kill, nice fit.

Maximus Trollbone
Posted - 2011.07.15 14:27:00 - [25]

I bow down before a skill far superior to my own. Awesome kill, and great use of teamwork/caps to screw fail fit to the wall. Congrats on making EVE a better place one dead ******* at a time.

Sakura Nihil
Selective Pressure
Rote Kapelle
Posted - 2011.07.15 15:23:00 - [26]

Feel free to drop us a line should you ever tackle the dude again.

We have a special place in our heart for Stokar (we also have TS recordings of him, ohgod).

Come back to 5-F, baby!

Lady Spank
In Praise Of Shadows
Posted - 2011.07.15 15:31:00 - [27]

Stokar, the paralegal from Delaware, is always this awesome Razz

Katarlia Simov
Cowboys From Hell
Posted - 2011.07.15 16:05:00 - [28]

High quality stuff dude. Would read again.

Arrogant ******s in **** fit carriers get exactly what they deserve it would seem. Well played sir, well played. Twisted Evil

Milla Jovobitch
Posted - 2011.07.15 16:14:00 - [29]

What a marvelous piece of work! My greetings to Stokar for delivering.

Tactical Knightmare
Posted - 2011.07.15 16:54:00 - [30]

I dont get it, i thought C&P didnt have good threads like this anymore!?

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