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Blacksquirrel
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:12:00 - [181]
 

Funniest thing is the total time you spent working in game to make all that. I always wonder myself if my time in games could be spent to better use. I mean total time months? years?


The answer is of course yes, but it wouldnt be as fun for the most part. However this is eve so perhaps that's wrong

Albetta
Gallente
Revenent Defence Corperation
Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:14:00 - [182]
 

$1000 pants

Baden Luskan
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:15:00 - [183]
 

If a man states his opinion, and no women are around to hear him, is he still wrong?

If all else fails, duck. As a defensive stratagem, it's unreliable, but incredibly reassuring for a moment or two.


Jax Bederen
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:16:00 - [184]
 

The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously ******ed. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

Ben Morto
The Hatchery
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:18:00 - [185]
 

Edited by: Ben Morto on 08/07/2011 18:18:34
Edited by: Ben Morto on 08/07/2011 18:18:07
Does this count?

Larg Kellein
Caldari
Agony Unleashed
Agony Empire
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:19:00 - [186]
 

I'm not above forum whoring myself out for a substantial amount of isk and the risk of being trolled, so here's me in the helpchannel being helpful (preserved on omgrawr, here

Irritatus Maxiumus > for example: my current ship, SHOULD have a max tartgeting range for 47 km, instead it hs the range of my other ship, which is 23km
Maliki Nutesta > that sounds warp core stabilizer effect to me but i coudl be wrong
Irritatus Maxiumus > sure as sh#!, I have a freekign wc stabilizer installed, such a dumb a$$
Irritatus Maxiumus > I will slink away now
Larg Kellein > Remember kids, stabs cause temporary amnesia
Larg Kellein > Can also cause projectile dysfunction

ThatDudeThere
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:22:00 - [187]
 

A Man walks into a bar.

Ouch.

Commander Nowai
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:34:00 - [188]
 

Oh and btw , i was once in a ally fleet and some dude didn't know how to use teamspeak so ...

Vermis > How to register on TS ----> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mXj8VSb66

Never thought there is such a tutorial on youtube lol

Trainwreck McGee
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:37:00 - [189]
 

what type of meat would you least likely want to be your employee?





Kielbasa

Nizran L'Crit
Caldari
Eternal Guardians
Bloodbound.
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:43:00 - [190]
 

What the hell, I'm a sucker for free isk.

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"

William Pullman
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:54:00 - [191]
 

Edited by: William Pullman on 08/07/2011 18:54:24
Holy crapola dude! Thank you so much. Just checked in EVEmon and my balance now stands at 41.6b ISK. More money than I can could ever use! I'll accept your contracts when I get home. :D :D :D

Thank you thank you thank you!!! If you ever want to come back to EVE, look me up and I'll sort you out.


Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Edit: posted with an alt to hid my true identity :P

Dsan
Nomads
Nulli Secunda
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:56:00 - [192]
 

how to make deaf people shut up ?
Give them a popsicle or two...

I came to think of it when I saw three elderly deaf people at a Café - 1 was handsigning furiously while the two others were eating ice cream popsicles :P

That was pretty funny, now send me a few isk and sponsor the delve thunder dome

Oh'Freddled Gruntbuggly
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:57:00 - [193]
 

Edited by: Oh''Freddled Gruntbuggly on 08/07/2011 18:57:56


BREAKING NEWS

- Worst scammer ever spotted on forum, gives away his own ISK, forgets to ask for 10% in advance.
- Ex-scammer admits megafail and rage quits.


Levi Crawford
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:59:00 - [194]
 

What kind of Bee's give Milk?...


BOO-BEES!

William Pullman
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:00:00 - [195]
 

Guys I already got this ISK!

coolzero
Gallente
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:03:00 - [196]
 

i have a tiny p e n i s... there! im not afraid to say it for 70 billion :P

DarkonRhoe
hirr
Morsus Mihi
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:04:00 - [197]
 

I'm not really sure what type of humor you have. My current experience is one many shouldn't share. I will probably get laughed at and trolled for sharing such an embarrassing moment "funny comment" in hopes to win the big one.

It started last year when I was in afganistan. We woke up early one morning to start our patrol. With very little to eat other then MRE's I decided to drink the strawberry milkshake that came packed away in the meal, once I downed the shake I needed caffeine to wake me up so I opened the coffee pactet that also came in the meal and mixed that with water then I down that as well. With 10min left to spare I felt great with a full stomach from the shake and I was amped from the coffee. 30 min onto our patrol I had this bubbly bloated feeling in my stomach. Not much I could do but continue to keep patrolling. 45 min into the patrol I had this unbearable urge to sh!t. Again not much I could do but carry on with the misson.

I'm sure you know where this story is going. I'll leave out the details and just say I had to finish the remaining 5 hour patrol with sh!t filled in my pance and down my legs. I hope you took this story with some humor as my fellow Marines thought this was the funniest thing in the world.




Ghoest
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:08:00 - [198]
 

It would be more funny for you to totally wipe the market on something players require but comes in limited quantity like a an insignia.

Torothin
Phathcom Enterprises
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:09:00 - [199]
 

Originally by: DarkonRhoe
I'm not really sure what type of humor you have. My current experience is one many shouldn't share. I will probably get laughed at and trolled for sharing such an embarrassing moment "funny comment" in hopes to win the big one.

It started last year when I was in afganistan. We woke up early one morning to start our patrol. With very little to eat other then MRE's I decided to drink the strawberry milkshake that came packed away in the meal, once I downed the shake I needed caffeine to wake me up so I opened the coffee pactet that also came in the meal and mixed that with water then I down that as well. With 10min left to spare I felt great with a full stomach from the shake and I was amped from the coffee. 30 min onto our patrol I had this bubbly bloated feeling in my stomach. Not much I could do but continue to keep patrolling. 45 min into the patrol I had this unbearable urge to sh!t. Again not much I could do but carry on with the misson.

I'm sure you know where this story is going. I'll leave out the details and just say I had to finish the remaining 5 hour patrol with sh!t filled in my pance and down my legs. I hope you took this story with some humor as my fellow Marines thought this was the funniest thing in the world.






Ok so this is an important question. Was it drinking the $emin that made you not feel so well?

Andr Katelo
Caldari
Dromedaworks inc
Test Alliance Please Ignore
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:09:00 - [200]
 

Just ****ing give me the iSK already so we end this senseless spamm.

Lonox
Gallente
Hilmar is Lord
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:11:00 - [201]
 

My hot friends and I love to party and get naked on our webcam! We really get carried away sometimes during our naughty pillow fights. *teehee*

Henry Haphorn
Gallente
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:12:00 - [202]
 

Edited by: Henry Haphorn on 08/07/2011 19:16:43
Somebody please explain to me why a particular bald-headed individual with an upside-down smile is posting this sort of thing? When I saw the title of the thread of thinking of one of those annoying Jita scams like "I'm quiting now and have all this ISK. If you send me any amount I will double it back to you."

So, mister Jita sca... I mean OP, how does it feel to part from your internet cash of ones and zeros?

EDIT:

Never mind. I'll bite. To all the Harry Potter fans out there, I just have one thing to say in reference to the gay wizard known as Dumbledore: When wands touch, magic happens.Embarassed

Ben Morto
The Hatchery
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:13:00 - [203]
 

Originally by: Andr Katelo
Just ****ing give me the iSK already so we end this senseless spamm.


On a scale from 1 to Chris Brown, how mad are you?

Dartwick
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:13:00 - [204]
 

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Commander Linski
Talocan United
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:18:00 - [205]
 

Originally by: Torothin
Edited by: Torothin on 08/07/2011 13:26:59
Whoever says the funniest thing in this thread will have it all contracted to them and see their wallet fill up with 40B isk. Let's see the posts!


I find the previous 7 pages of 'permitted begging' funny, you desperate, ISK stricken hobos.

No, I don't want your ISK/assets.

Ingvar Angst
Amarr
Nasty Pope Holding Corp
Talocan United
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:20:00 - [206]
 

Originally by: Commander Linski
Originally by: Torothin
Edited by: Torothin on 08/07/2011 13:26:59
Whoever says the funniest thing in this thread will have it all contracted to them and see their wallet fill up with 40B isk. Let's see the posts!


I find the previous 7 pages of 'permitted begging' funny, you desperate, ISK stricken hobos.

No, I don't want your ISK/assets.


Um... Linski? I'm one of the hobos.

We'll discuss this in private later.

Lethor Arareb
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:22:00 - [207]
 

Derp.

NoobPwn
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:31:00 - [208]
 

ventrilo harassment

Jakara Nubai
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:34:00 - [209]
 

Duck walks into a bar. Bar tender ask "what can I get for ya." Duck replies "You got any gwapes?." Bar tender says "we're a bar not a whole foods, no we don't have grapes." Duck leaves bar.

Next day duck walks into a bar. Bar Tender ask "you're back? What can I do for ya." "You got any gwapes?" Bar tender gives him a mean look and tells him to **** off.

This continues on for days and the Bar Tender gets really irritated at the duck for asking for fruit. "If you come in here tomorrow asking for grapes again I'm going to staple your nuts to the counter."

Next day duck walks into the bar. Bar Tender gets an evil grin on his face "What do you want?" Duck as "Do you got a stapler?" Bar Tender is taken aback "No" "Well do you got any gwapes?"

Lethor Arareb
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:35:00 - [210]
 

Originally by: Jakara Nubai
Duck walks into a bar. Bar tender ask "what can I get for ya." Duck replies "You got any gwapes?." Bar tender says "we're a bar not a whole foods, no we don't have grapes." Duck leaves bar.

Next day duck walks into a bar. Bar Tender ask "you're back? What can I do for ya." "You got any gwapes?" Bar tender gives him a mean look and tells him to **** off.

This continues on for days and the Bar Tender gets really irritated at the duck for asking for fruit. "If you come in here tomorrow asking for grapes again I'm going to staple your nuts to the counter."

Next day duck walks into the bar. Bar Tender gets an evil grin on his face "What do you want?" Duck as "Do you got a stapler?" Bar Tender is taken aback "No" "Well do you got any gwapes?"


oh **** YOU


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