Slade, i suggest something involving nudity, and dog piles on top of midgets
as for jago, i dont condone suicide of any kind except to release terminal people from suffering, i CAN how ever suggest some very dangerous activities that could potentially lead to death.
*please note, arvald is not responsible for any bodily/mental harm from any of these activities*
*please note, arvald is 100% responsible for any awesomeness that results from these activities*
First off, take your baby wipes, go down to the local zoo, and see how many lions bums you can clean before one of them tries to attack you.
If you are still alive, take your baby oil, go down to the beach, find the most attractive women you can and make sure they are with an overly muscular man, loudly, offer to apply said baby on to their *expletive deleted*, or any other sensitive concealed parts.
However unlikely, if you are still functioning after that activity, take your cheesy wotsits, go to the local duck park, glue the cheesy wotsist to yourself and try to get a rather large flock of ducks/geese to chase after you, once you have a large enough flock following you, jump into the water, if all goes well they will swarm you and the combined weight from all of the water foul should keep you under the water for a rather long time.
let me know how this goes