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Fix Lag
Posted - 2011.06.20 08:05:00 - [1]
 

I would like to extend my heartfelt congratulations to CCP for bringing us a wonderful expansion where we not only get a microtransaction store to purchase our trendy T-shirt from with Aurum but also a mirror to look at and admire ourselves while wearing said T-shirt!

Surely, I must be forgetting something. That can't be the only thing they'd release in an expansion, right? Surely there is more than just taking away ship-spinning and replacing it with an overly-graphics intensive walk-in closet..?

Ah, yes, now I remember! We even get brand-new faction standings pages!

Wait, we had those before and then they mysteriously disappeared...Hmm...so what is it then? What's new in Incarna?

Oh I remember now! We get some awesome space elevators and planetary districts...wait, no, no, that was just what was brought up at an old Fanfest when they were talking about PI...hmm...what was it that was gonna be new?

I think it must've been the new smuggling stuff and illegal goods market...wait, no...no mention of that in Incarna either.

Oh yeah! Now I definitely remember! We get some new turrets to look at! Yaaaay!

Zaara Arran
Posted - 2011.06.20 08:09:00 - [2]
 

You're so edgy and cool. I wish I could post like you. Rolling Eyes

Fix Lag
Posted - 2011.06.20 08:13:00 - [3]
 

You do? Really? Here, let me post a guide to help you do just that.

Originally by: Hratli Smirks, a God Among Men
The Hratli Smirks Guide to Posting

Hello, I'm Skymarshal H. Ratli Smirks, the hero of 49-U. I've been asked by [censored] to write a guide to help you eager [most evil site of all time] posters not smear virtual poop all over these forums. Which you persist in doing every time your webbed, cheeto-stained man-paw shoves your cursor over the “post new reply” button.

Yes, you are a bad poster. And by “you” I mean you personally. However, if you follow these guidelines you may become a less-bad poster, which is something we look forward to with the utmost anticipation.

1. No antiquated terrible meme posting. These are memes that were potentially at one point effective and maybe even amusing, then discarded, taken up by CAOD, SHC, and posters like you, and driven into the ground. They are obsolete. At this point seeing “u mad bro” posted, or references to people “being mad,” is like listening to your grandparents use slang ten years out of date. It is wince-inducing.

2. Images you pulled off 4chan. Yes, we know 4chan is hilarious and the captions are soooo funny! Post all the pictures you want there! But post words here you [censored] illiterate.

3. Various permutations of the word “fail” that do not adhere to classic, pre-internet usage. Likewise "epic." Keep that [censored] at home.

4. I heartily encourage you to lurk before posting. Lurking is useful because it introduces you to local posting conventions and generally gives you a handle on the regular forum denizens.

5. When you find a good post, take a few moments to examine it critically and figure out what makes it a good post. What makes it amusing? What makes it enjoyable to read? Do the same to a bad post. What makes it garbage? What makes it painful to read? Try to incorporate what you learned into your next post.

6. Along the lines of #5, study the good posters and the good trolls. Look at their language, their tone, and even their gimmicks. What makes them effective? You don't have to copy them, but pay attention.

7. Don't do emotes in a post. This isn't a Vampire the Masquerade RP room on IRC.

8. Recognize ironicposting and written sarcasm.

Unless you are confident in your command of the Art of Posting, I recommend being succinct. Writing long, elaborate posts is really only fine if you are confident in your ability to hold the reader's attention and keep them interested/amused throughout the length of the post. You remember that scene from The Shawshank Redemption where Tim Robbins had to crawl five hundred yards through a raw sewage pipe? That's what reading a long bad post is like.

This goes for angry rageposting too. I don't personally endorse rageposting because it is terribly boring, but some of you [censored] love rageposting like Suas loved [censored]. Whatever, I can't personally stop you. Just make it brief.

Posts about how awesome you and your legion of space badasses are and how you are about to rain **** and pit bulls onto your hapless space adversaries are also boring. If you post these, you will likely be trolled.

Don't get trolled. If someone posted something obviously provocatively wrong and you feel compelled to correct it and it wasn't posted by CrusaderKnight then you are probably about to get trolled. Looking at you, TEST.

Know when to get out of a thread. Threads usually degenerate into complete circular [censored], and spending further time in that cesspit arguing is a waste. When it becomes clear that further debate is pointless, leave.




There, that should definitely help.

Ishina Fel
Caldari
Terra Incognita
Intrepid Crossing
Posted - 2011.06.20 08:24:00 - [4]
 

How ironic that you adhered well to that guide, and still managed to produce a bad post. Just goes to show that a checklist, however extensive, doesn't replace common sense.

This is a technology expansion. There is a ridiculous amount of work being done under the hood. Furthermore, additional content will be patched in continually in the months following the initial release. The days of releasing single packages every half year are over.

Noxidc
Resilience.
Northern Coalition.
Posted - 2011.06.20 08:24:00 - [5]
 

From what i read, were about here in this thread.

8. Recognize ironicposting and written sarcasm.

After reading your thread, I find it pointless (garbage) with annoyingly predictable humor.

Good day.

Fix Lag
Posted - 2011.06.20 08:30:00 - [6]
 

Originally by: Ishina Fel
The days of releasing single packages every half year are over.



:18 months:

Dorian Tormak
M0N0LITH
Posted - 2011.06.20 08:34:00 - [7]
 

Quit eve and stop posting if you don't like it.

Fix Lag
Posted - 2011.06.20 08:36:00 - [8]
 

That's unironically my plan. Regrettably a six-month resubscription on autorenewal thwarted that in mid April.

Antsy Ellecon
Posted - 2011.06.20 08:39:00 - [9]
 

does beeing subscribed force you to play or frequent these forums?

no?

thought so

Fix Lag
Posted - 2011.06.20 08:42:00 - [10]
 

I use tears as fuel, so...yes, actually, I am a bit compelled to post on the EVEO forums. Also keep in mind that whatever I say about EVE really shouldn't hurt anybody's feelings unless it is, for some odd reason, true.

And darn rootin' tootin' I'm gonna get my 75 bucks worth of forum posting in.

Antsy Ellecon
Posted - 2011.06.20 08:49:00 - [11]
 

true, but i would hazzard to guess that trolling beiber fans on Youtube would be alot more effective source of tear production than coming to the EVEO forums where we are getting quite used to the trolls, try making those kiddies belive he is dead (again) then come back here and use your bragging rights and ill tip my hat to you :)

Fix Lag
Posted - 2011.06.20 08:52:00 - [12]
 

Trolling Bieber fans is too easy and unrewarding.

Trolling Bieber haters, on the other hand...

chaosyourgod
Minmatar
Virtual Warriors
IMPERIAL LEGI0N
Posted - 2011.06.20 10:03:00 - [13]
 

you forget the new maller hull

Professor Atomic
Totenkopf Division
Posted - 2011.06.20 10:12:00 - [14]
 

Agree with the OP. Upcoming content seems to be fluff; hope I'm wrong.

Daniela Darr
Minmatar
Posted - 2011.06.20 10:23:00 - [15]
 

No worries, you can smuggle contraband from your closet soon(tm)!

Aiwha
Caldari
101st Space Marine Force
Nulli Secunda
Posted - 2011.06.20 10:24:00 - [16]
 

If aurum are micro-transactions then we've had micro-transactions as long as we've had PLEX on the market.

Jennifer Starling
Imperial Navy Forum Patrol
Posted - 2011.06.20 10:36:00 - [17]
 

Edited by: Jennifer Starling on 20/06/2011 10:36:55
Originally by: Aiwha
If aurum are micro-transactions then we've had micro-transactions as long as we've had PLEX on the market.

Very true.

Strange thing is that if it's microtransactions between players ("if you give me ISK and ships and a 60mil SP character I will pay your subscription for a year with RL money" - with some tax for CCP) everyone seems to think it's great and good and fine and brilliant.

But if a game corp does it it's suddenly horrible and awful and bad .. this lack of any logic is still beyond my comprehension.

Cailais
Amarr
Nasty Pope Holding Corp
Talocan United
Posted - 2011.06.20 10:40:00 - [18]
 

Originally by: Jennifer Starling
Edited by: Jennifer Starling on 20/06/2011 10:36:55
Originally by: Aiwha
If aurum are micro-transactions then we've had micro-transactions as long as we've had PLEX on the market.

Very true.

Strange thing is that if it's microtransactions between players ("if you give me ISK and ships and a 60mil SP character I will pay your subscription for a year with RL money" - with some tax for CCP) everyone seems to think it's great and good and fine and brilliant.

But if a game corp does it it's suddenly horrible and awful and bad .. this lack of any logic is still beyond my comprehension.



Its not quite that though is it.

PLEX = You (player) give me ISK; I (player) pay your subs.

AURUM = You (player) give me (CCP) $$$; I (CCP) give you a shiney ship out of thin air!

C.

Aderata Nonkin
Amarr
Posted - 2011.06.20 10:41:00 - [19]
 

Originally by: Fix Lag
I use tears as fuel, so...


Why don't you sit yourself in your damp little cave and feed on your own tears then. We don't want you and your nonessential whining here, there are other people who do it much better than you ever will.

Jennifer Starling
Imperial Navy Forum Patrol
Posted - 2011.06.20 10:45:00 - [20]
 

Originally by: Cailais
Originally by: Jennifer Starling
Very true.

Strange thing is that if it's microtransactions between players ("if you give me ISK and ships and a 60mil SP character I will pay your subscription for a year with RL money" - with some tax for CCP) everyone seems to think it's great and good and fine and brilliant.

But if a game corp does it it's suddenly horrible and awful and bad .. this lack of any logic is still beyond my comprehension.



Its not quite that though is it.

PLEX = You (player) give me ISK; I (player) pay your subs.
AURUM = You (player) give me (CCP) $$$; I (CCP) give you a shiney ship out of thin air!

In any case, it's both microtransactions.

CCP already confirmed they're not going to do the Ishukone Scorpion thing. Compared to buying a 60 million SP character and a pile of ships a single hull isn't a lot, especially if you can't even fly/fit it.
In fact the plex between players thing gives you far more advantage in game than vanity clothes and paint jobs.

Ozmodan
Minmatar
Massively Mob
Posted - 2011.06.20 10:47:00 - [21]
 

Actually, the new stuff is attempting to make Eve more appealing to people that don't play the game so you have more players to pew pew pew with.

Nothing wrong with attempting to expand the player base. With a MMO this size they need to take baby steps so none of the pew pew pew things are affected.

I like their phase in approach, it is far better than a dump it all in at once and see if it works one.

clixor
Celluloid Gurus
Posted - 2011.06.20 10:51:00 - [22]
 

Originally by: Ozmodan
Actually, the new stuff is attempting to make Eve more appealing to people that don't play the game so you have more players to pew pew pew with.



Just read that sentence again plz. According to your logic new players are joining because of the WiS. Ofcourse, if they haven't quit already before they see they actually are confined to one room they must undock.

I would be very surprised if off all the new subs this will lead to 1% more PVP.

San Severina
Minmatar
Posted - 2011.06.20 11:07:00 - [23]
 

I'll match your sarcasm & raise you a sarcasm bordering on ridiculous;


CQ will be great, so much better, more functional & immersive than the OLD Hangar View, huh, nobody will miss that! Right?

Twisted EvilTwisted EvilTwisted EvilTwisted EvilTwisted EvilTwisted EvilTwisted EvilTwisted Evil



San Severina
Minmatar
Posted - 2011.06.20 11:10:00 - [24]
 

Originally by: Ozmodan
Actually, the new stuff is attempting to make Eve more appealing to people that don't play the game so you have more players to pew pew pew with.

Nothing wrong with attempting to expand the player base. With a MMO this size they need to take baby steps so none of the pew pew pew things are affected.

I like their phase in approach, it is far better than a dump it all in at once and see if it works one.



please, please, come back and post in a thread when you have spent more than a couple of months in the game!

& when you are older than 14.

& when you have half an idea wtf you are talking about.


Syphon Lodian
Gallente
Posted - 2011.06.20 11:15:00 - [25]
 

On July 21st, everyone will be in the closet.

I for one would like to welcome our new closet-bound recluse overlords.

EvEa Deva
Posted - 2011.06.20 11:22:00 - [26]
 

No worries OP next expansion you can come out of the closet

Ciar Meara
Amarr
Virtus Vindice
Posted - 2011.06.20 14:51:00 - [27]
 

Originally by: EvEa Deva
No worries OP next expansion you can come out of the closet


Nice One

Atticus Fynch
Gallente
Posted - 2011.06.20 14:54:00 - [28]
 

For the mission runners out there, we get a new agent finder which is pretty cool.


Suitale
Posted - 2011.06.20 15:46:00 - [29]
 

So... you quit EVE right? Can i have your stuff? Laughing

Mister Smithington
Posted - 2011.06.20 16:09:00 - [30]
 

Originally by: Fix Lag
Oh yeah! Now I definitely remember! We get some new turrets to look at! Yaaaay!


+1 The new turrets are awesome.


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