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Cambarus
Malicious Destruction
War Against the Manifest
Posted - 2011.04.01 21:21:00 - [181]
 

ITT people who do not know what day it is.

Terig
Selectus Pravus Lupus
Transmission Lost
Posted - 2011.04.01 21:23:00 - [182]
 

1: Do you know why firetrucks are red?
2: Yes to camouflauge with the fire.
1: Nope, firetrucks are red because they have four wheels, and eight people ride on a firetruck.
1: 4 + 8 = 12
1: There are 12 inches in a ruler.
...1: Queen Elizabeth was a ruler.
1: They also named a ship after Queen Elizabeth.
1: The ship sailed the sea, the sea has fish.
1: Fish have fins, people in finland are called fins.
1: Finland and Russia were in a war a long time ago.
1: Russians are red.
1: Firetrucks are always 'Russian' around. :D
2: Oh ****, that just blew my mind.

-------

True story.

x > Ok so we had to go and distract them
y > Well i was running around naked in my kitchen hoping they would see me
z > lol
y > Turns out my neighbour doesn't play eve
x > lmao!

-------
Not sure if i was allowed to do this or not :)

MissBehaving
Caldari
Cold Moon Destruction
Narwhals Ate My Duck
Posted - 2011.04.01 21:38:00 - [183]
 

What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo

What is a lesbian’s favorite thing to eat?
A Klon*****Bar

What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman?
Sexual harassment.

What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
$3.99 a minute.

What is the cheapest meat?
Deer balls, there under a buck.

What is the definition of a menstrual period?
A bloody waste of ****ing time.

What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man?
Bachelor comes home, sees what’s in the refrigerator, goes to bed. Married man comes home, sees what’s in the bed, and goes to the refrigerator.

What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease?
One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running ****

What is the difference between a golf ball and a g-spot?
Men will spend two hours searching for a golf ball.

What is the difference between a hockey game and a High School reunion?
At a hockey game you see fast pucks.

Why are women like Kentucky Fried Chicken?
After you’ve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.



Cant tell me you didnt crack a lil smile :P

Holy One
SniggWaffe
Posted - 2011.04.01 21:40:00 - [184]
 

bah screw you and all the dancing ***s in this thread willing to debase themselves for pretend money.


Matsif
Wraith.Wing
Wildly Inappropriate.
Posted - 2011.04.01 21:40:00 - [185]
 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnCk0uGwFZI

Sixtina KL
The Shoop Group
Posted - 2011.04.01 21:41:00 - [186]
 

A brother to his sister:

"Wow, you screw much better than mom does."

"I know. Dad told me already."

Lazer Bear
Amarr
WE CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGER
Posted - 2011.04.01 21:42:00 - [187]
 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnhF1QAEZjU&feature=player_embedded

You've been Trolled!
You've been Trolled!
You have probably been told.
Don't reply, to this guy;
he is just getting a rise,
out of you! Yes it's true,
you respond and thats his cue to
start trouble on the double
while he strokes his manly stubble
You've been Trolled!
You've been Trolled!
You should probably just fold
When the only winning move is not to play
And yet you keep on trying,
Mindlessly Replying.
You've been Trolled.
You've been Trolled.
Have a Nice Day!

BeanBagKing
Terra Incognita
Intrepid Crossing
Posted - 2011.04.01 21:43:00 - [188]
 

What do Bud Light and sex in a canoe have in common?

Their both ****ing close to water!

Wolfy2449
Gallente
WE CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGER
Posted - 2011.04.01 21:45:00 - [189]
 

I wonder how many alts there are in this topic xD

Holy One
SniggWaffe
Posted - 2011.04.01 21:46:00 - [190]
 

Originally by: Wolfy2449
I wonder how many alts there are in this topic xD


I wonder how many real billions there are in this April ******.

NinjaSpud
Posted - 2011.04.01 21:46:00 - [191]
 

99% sure this is an april 1st joke...but hey that's all good.

SO, a Gallente, Mimnitar, Amarr and Caldari pilot where all in a bar, talking about variouse topics. Inevitably the topic of God came up. Of course the Amarr was the first to speak up saying:

"God is Amarr, he beleives in the strongest to rule, that's why the Amarr rule supreime."

The Gellente was the next one to chip in:

"No, God's Gallente, he made every man equal and as equal we stand together like God."

Just as the Caldari pilot was about to chime in, the Mimnitar pilot drew his gun and shot the other 3. Then he said,

"Arn't we at war?"

Hakkar'al Gallente
Posted - 2011.04.01 21:54:00 - [192]
 

Edited by: Hakkar''al Gallente on 01/04/2011 21:54:02
In case this isn't the obvious April Fool thingy, the second half of this actually has me rolling on the floor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ir3qJDhJ_xU&feature=related


NinjaSpud
Posted - 2011.04.01 21:54:00 - [193]
 

Edited by: NinjaSpud on 01/04/2011 22:10:26
Edited by: NinjaSpud on 01/04/2011 22:08:05
Edited by: NinjaSpud on 01/04/2011 22:05:51
Edited by: NinjaSpud on 01/04/2011 22:04:14
Edited by: NinjaSpud on 01/04/2011 22:02:14
Edited by: NinjaSpud on 01/04/2011 22:01:39
also (for the sake of comedy)

Did you know in WWII, Chuck Norris once shot down a 'enemy' plane by pointing is finger in the air and yelling out "BANG".

:EDIT: I hade to change the word '****' to 'enemy'...apperently, historical refrences to the german government in controll during WWII isn't allowed. wich donesn't ruin the joke, just kinda funny that I have to think of new ways to say "EDIT: the regeim of government in power when ****** was the leader"

:EDIT: OMG I can't even say his name? They censored Adolf ******. How the hell am i supposed to make jokes about it if i can't use the word ":EDIT: Leader of the german regiem in controll during WWII."


:MORE EDITS: Winston Churchill
oo of course I can say his name with out any censorship. Who else can't I say
Joseph Stalin
Adolf ******
Geroge Bush
Atilla the Hun
Gangus Kahn


I guess Iceland didn't like WWII or germany....Razz

Whitehound
The Whitehound Corporation
Frontline Assembly Point
Posted - 2011.04.01 22:12:00 - [194]
 

What pathetic thread.

rock crawlermne
Posted - 2011.04.01 22:13:00 - [195]
 

Originally by: Whitehound
What pathetic thread.


what well grammar

Whitehound
The Whitehound Corporation
Frontline Assembly Point
Posted - 2011.04.01 22:15:00 - [196]
 

Edited by: Whitehound on 01/04/2011 22:16:53
Originally by: rock crawlermne
Originally by: Whitehound
What pathetic thread.


what well grammar

I am short of lacking the words for it.

@OP: buy some PLEX for Japan.

rock crawlermne
Posted - 2011.04.01 22:17:00 - [197]
 

Originally by: Whitehound
Originally by: rock crawlermne
Originally by: Whitehound
What pathetic thread.


what well grammar

I am short of lacking the words for it.


LOL

Learn to speak the language, before shooting out insults from it!

Whitehound
The Whitehound Corporation
Frontline Assembly Point
Posted - 2011.04.01 22:19:00 - [198]
 

Edited by: Whitehound on 01/04/2011 22:25:13
Originally by: rock crawlermne
Learn to speak the language, before shooting out insults from it!

Why? And what insult?! ... Are you a troll or just lonely?

Callum Hughes
Caldari
Northstar Cabal
Important Internet Spaceship League
Posted - 2011.04.01 22:19:00 - [199]
 

obvs april fools...

Light Raider
Gallente
Posted - 2011.04.01 22:26:00 - [200]
 

Originally by: Lazer Bear
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnhF1QAEZjU&feature=player_embedded

You've been Trolled!
You've been Trolled!
You have probably been told.
Don't reply, to this guy;
he is just getting a rise,
out of you! Yes it's true,
you respond and thats his cue to
start trouble on the double
while he strokes his manly stubble
You've been Trolled!
You've been Trolled!
You should probably just fold
When the only winning move is not to play
And yet you keep on trying,
Mindlessly Replying.
You've been Trolled.
You've been Trolled.
Have a Nice Day!


This

I don't mind

Had a few nice laughs hope to give you some of them.

Better than CCP April fools blog Twisted Evil

Vargo Breen
Blue Republic
Posted - 2011.04.01 22:54:00 - [201]
 

Log onto Eve forums

Post something funny.

???????

Profit!

Chu Mei
Posted - 2011.04.01 23:00:00 - [202]
 

Hi Hemmo Paskiainen

from Gallente to Gallente
i told you don t give away all your stuff. in the future it will come a time you want login again for a look and you bite you in your ass when you realize that you cant come back or all your stuff is away what you collect in the past

take a deep breath cancel your account and when you loved this game I think you come back sometime in the future and it s a good feeling when you see all your ships, suff and isk waiting for a new beginning

thats all from Gallente to Gallente

if you are not convinced support my corp and if you feel a eve tingle you have than a Captain's Quarter and a little rookie ship Shocked

one Gallente always Gallente

rock crawlermne
Posted - 2011.04.01 23:16:00 - [203]
 

Originally by: Whitehound
Edited by: Whitehound on 01/04/2011 22:25:13
Originally by: rock crawlermne
Learn to speak the language, before shooting out insults from it!

Why? And what insult?! ... Are you a troll or just lonely?



I'm not lonely, I have my cats.....

llort a s'ti, thgir er'uoy sseug I
Razz

Samuel Caldara
Caldari Provisions
Posted - 2011.04.01 23:19:00 - [204]
 

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

The Russians used a pencil.

Don't suppose you've seen the unity troll? The sad thing is that your right. Either CCP isn't taking this seriously or there is a serious lack of communication.
Unity Troll

How are minmatar ships constructed?

Drop a large magnet in a field of debris and wait...

"Amarr pilots pray for god

Caldari pilots pray for profit

Gallente pilots pray for peace

Minmatar pilots pray their ships hold together"

10/10 if this is a troll
-Sam

missminer69
Posted - 2011.04.01 23:37:00 - [205]
 

What do you call a blind dinosourus? DOyouthinkitsawus

What do you call a company that runs a important internet spaceship game with no vision and no idea how to treat their member base? Eve online.

Xavier Zedicus
Psykotic Meat
Posted - 2011.04.01 23:50:00 - [206]
 

This ought to make you laugh

"Nerf rock, paper is fine." -Scissors

GeoBlue
Posted - 2011.04.02 00:24:00 - [207]
 

=> NAME: *Expecteria Trouserius* (Trouser Snake)
=> LOCATION: Throughout the world

=> DESCRIPTION: One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (other types come with extra layers of skin) Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly venomous spit. (Spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet) *Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood & sub-species.

=> SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. Beware: It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen!

=> HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.

=> ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men.

=> WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED

TOURNIQUET: Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected.

CUTTING THE WOUND: This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow.

SUCKING THE WOUND: This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success.

=> CONCLUSION: This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin, and treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet.
Very Happy

DurrHurrDurr
Posted - 2011.04.02 00:28:00 - [208]
 

I'd post something witty but I'm hoping my character portrait does it.

Brian Orakpo
Posted - 2011.04.02 00:34:00 - [209]
 

If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptible…

Marco Bartoli
Posted - 2011.04.02 00:36:00 - [210]
 

Edited by: Marco Bartoli on 02/04/2011 00:36:32
I SWEAR TO GOD THIS IS THE BREAK OF MY LIFE I WILL FINALLY GET ALL THE ISK THAT I NEED TO ENJOY THE GAME AND HAVE FUN U HAVE NO IDEA HOW GOOD THIS WILL BE FOR ME AND ALL FOR A LUGH WHAT KIND OFFER IS THAT IS THAT U HAVE THE POWER TO IMPROVE DRASTICALLY THE GAME OF ONE EVE PLAYER AND U CHOOSE TO USE IT ON GETTING G A LAUGH OMG SERIOUSYL MAN THIS WILL MKE ME SO HAPPY U HAFVE TO GIVE ME IT

THANK U FOR ME WIN IF I CAN


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