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Edrakiss
Posted - 2011.04.01 14:33:00 - [91]
 

Sorry to hear you're leaving Hemmo.

Perhaps one day soon ccp will fix the things important to you

Not even I could say that with a straight face.

Demolishar
Posted - 2011.04.01 14:34:00 - [92]
 

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5294/5451093215_e86232389a_z.jpg
Image changed to a URL per the forum rules - Adida

Make Amazing Crystals!

Maximillian Dragonard
Posted - 2011.04.01 14:34:00 - [93]
 

/me chops off xXxSatsujinxXx's head and hands it to you....

Xercodo
Amarr
Xovoni Directorate
Posted - 2011.04.01 14:36:00 - [94]
 


Skippermonkey
Tactical Knightmare
Posted - 2011.04.01 14:36:00 - [95]
 


Leeroy McJenkins
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
Posted - 2011.04.01 14:38:00 - [96]
 

Originally by: Hemmo Paskiainen
pvp is broken...



PVP is not broken, please see below.

KurnKuku
Minmatar
Posted - 2011.04.01 14:52:00 - [97]
 

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he's allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That's not surprising," the elders say. "You've done nothing but complain since you got here."
Laughing

Ghengis Tia
Posted - 2011.04.01 14:53:00 - [98]
 

True story. I'm feeling my oats in my new Harbinger, go to a 0.4 system and observe a Vagabond harassing the hell out of a Punisher. I feel sorry for the Punisher and intervene, ignoring the warning pop-up, and sic my drones and open fire on the Vagabond.

The vagabond outruns my Hammerheads, I realize I can't catch him, and so I fly off to rat in some 'roid fields. (by now you're rolling your eyes at my stupidity, but it gets better, I promise). Anyway I'm now surrounded by a Maelstrom, the Vaga, pointed by some frig, and taking a wailing. I lamely sic my drones on the tackler, and watch as my new Harby gets mauled. I am now in a pod, so in a panic I warp to the gate to hi-sec.

Waiting there, of course, is another crony who proceeds to pod me. Did I mention I had all my +4 implants in?

I realize later the Vag and Punisher were in the same corp, and were just training.

So being in a state of disbelief and shock, I replace all my implants, jump in a hauler, and proceed to pick up some large containers I got a good deal on. The location is in lo-sec, something I blithely ignore. I get to the system, and still a bit dazed and confused try to figure out which station to go to. Sure enough I get blown away and podded with my second set of +4 implants.

What a lousy Christmas day, man.

Arianna Satellizer
Posted - 2011.04.01 14:54:00 - [99]
 

There are three guys. One guy says " I have the shortest arm in the world!"
The other guy says " I have the smallest leg in the world!"
The 3rd guy says " I have the smallest **** in the world.
So they all decide to travel to the Guinness world records headquarters to see if they actually do.
The first guy comes out and says " I do have the smallest arm in the world!!!!!!!!!!!"
The 2nd guy comes out and says "I do have the smallest leg in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The 3rd guy comes out and says " Who the **** is Justin Bieber!!!!!!!!!??????"

Yes its a Bieber joke...Hand over the ISKIES!

Lord Qe
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:02:00 - [100]
 

One dark night when the moon was green, around the corner came a fart machine.. a fart was let, a scream was heard... suddenly Hemmo Paskiainen was hit by a flying turd!!!


Me poemWink

vulnevia
The Exploited.
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:09:00 - [101]
 


CommmanderInChief
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:10:00 - [102]
 

if this doesnt make you laugh then your dead Smile

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-UF-h1K4rM

Jimmy Ray
Minmatar
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:15:00 - [103]
 

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

Ymirus
Minmatar
Fly Drunk
Fatal Ascension
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:16:00 - [104]
 

OP posted on April Fool's. 4 pages worth of people begging for stuff. That in itself is pretty funny if you ask me.
If you do actually quit, take care in real life and perhaps we'll see you again at some point. Also, I don't want your stuff. o7

Roflus Prime
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:17:00 - [105]
 

April Fools, and all these jokes in one thread. Excellent!

How about a one liner? Feels pretty appropriate for EVE.

"I don't know what hurts more: The fact that you caught me tricking you, or the lack of trust!"

SupaKudoRio
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:19:00 - [106]
 

Edited by: SupaKudoRio on 01/04/2011 15:18:49
Happy april fools!
Also, if you can watch this with a straight face, I'll give you 9001 isk.

Hestia Mar
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:19:00 - [107]
 

how much drugs does Charlie Sheen do?

Enough to kill two and a half men

H

Laughing

Lise Kahel
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:21:00 - [108]
 

Originally by: Ymirus
OP posted on April Fool's. 4 pages worth of people begging for stuff. That in itself is pretty funny if you ask me.
If you do actually quit, take care in real life and perhaps we'll see you again at some point. Also, I don't want your stuff. o7


There's good material in here though.

Joe Skellington
Minmatar
Matari Legion Holding
Matari Legion
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:21:00 - [109]
 


Jimmy Ray
Minmatar
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:28:00 - [110]
 

Contrary to me posting a joke earlier in the thread.

I now declare BS and claim April fools on this thread.

woo.

*cries*

Nimbat
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:32:00 - [111]
 

How many babies do you need to paint a house?

-Depends how hard you throw.

E Normus
Minmatar
Capital Systems INC
Shadow of xXDEATHXx
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:34:00 - [112]
 

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender
say's to him " Hey buddy , why the long face ? "

Very Happy

Jin Sangkhapong
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:34:00 - [113]
 

Was going to post a joke, but hmm nah, april 1'st...

Aniara Starchild
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:35:00 - [114]
 

Regardless of the fact its april the 1st, this one is still a nice laugh. So enjoy.
A Belfast Radio Station was running a competition - words that weren't in the dictionary, yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.
DJ: "96FM here, what's your name?"
Caller: "Hi, me name's Dave"
DJ: "Dave, what's your word?"
Caller: "Goan... spelt G-O-A-N, pronounced 'go-an'"
DJ: "... You are correct Dave, 'goan' is not in the dictionary. Now for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?"
Caller: "Goan f**k yourself"
The DJ cut the caller short and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:
DJ: "96FM, what's your name?"
Caller: "Hi, my name's Jeff"
DJ: "Jeff, what's your word?"
Caller: "Smee... spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced 'smee'"
DJ: "... You are correct Jeff, 'smee' is not in the dictionary. Now for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?"
Caller: "Smee again! Goan f**k yourself"

Felix Ellahine
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:36:00 - [115]
 

this is not an alt.

Joe Skellington
Minmatar
Matari Legion Holding
Matari Legion
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:37:00 - [116]
 

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: It is a really obscure number and you have probably never heard of it.

NebNeb
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:41:00 - [117]
 

Edited by: NebNeb on 01/04/2011 15:43:37
Edited by: NebNeb on 01/04/2011 15:41:37
will LOL fits be enough to impress you for the wonderful iskies???!!!

As we're not allowed to link killboard links am i right? Check my bio for a X3 LOL fit pirate gang that was living in aridia.

shock shock horror horror Razz

bait navy augoror does it again!

Why do they always fit cap rechargers?

Aranzazu
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:42:00 - [118]
 

Whats worse than a pitt-bull whos got aids?

... The guy who gave it to him!


Xelena Shellar
Posted - 2011.04.01 15:46:00 - [119]
 

Edited by: Xelena Shellar on 01/04/2011 16:11:20
Originally by: Hemmo Paskiainen
After plaing the game for 3 yrs now i have decided to quit EVE. Im fed up with the way EVE is going atm. Im a eve player form the old genaration. Im only playing the game to shoot other people. Past year i hoped ccp would fnaly get it, pvp is broken... So many shiptypes and especialy my favourite Black Op's. After realizing that ccp dont learn form their mistakes and the CSM is a joke (see black op linky) i think its enough to cancel my 4 accounts.

Im giving away:
25b isk liq
40b in random officermods
15b in Guidancesystems & some other PI investments
8b in deadspace mods all over eve
1 x the right to buy this sub cap char (103m sp) for 10 mil isk
1 x the right to buy 70m perfect nyx char for 10 mil isk
1 x the right to buy 50m maxed missile & racial caldari char
Some other low sp chars (8-17m sp chars)

How can u win this stuff?
Post in here and make me laugh. The best 4 post are getting picked out and i will toss a few coins. (head always wins Wink)

Good Lucky


You can't leave now, you'll regret it. Look at all the good things CCP is doing now, we have INCARNA to look forward to! You'll be able to sit in your captains quarters, how awesome is that?

How can you bash on the CSM and all the great things they have accomplished? The CSM provides a great opportunity for popular people to get a free vacation to Iceland. Not too mention all the information to assist in insider trading!

Also, how can you say CCP doesn't listen to their player base? We just had the much-requested and much-needed anomoly nerf! Not only that, but when the Fanfest Faction Warfare panel was going on THEY EVEN HAD SOME TAKE NOTES... NOTES! So that they could review them. If reviewing notes from a panel isn't listening to the players then I don't know what is.

You are leaving in EVEs' golden age : /


Kan'loch Lacoud
Broski Enterprises
Posted - 2011.04.01 16:11:00 - [120]
 

The funniest thing in EVE right now is the ever growing ineptitude of the CCP GM staff.


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