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Chesty McJubblies
Gallente
Center for Advanced Studies
Posted - 2011.04.01 12:24:00 - [61]
 

April 1.

/end.

Valari Nala Zena
Caldari
Perkone
Posted - 2011.04.01 12:37:00 - [62]
 

Originally by: Chesty McJubblies
April 1.

/end.


While we all kinda know for sure, this thread is still a good one :)

/resume

Barakkus
Posted - 2011.04.01 12:42:00 - [63]
 

Couple of friends of mine had a band, I used to go help record tracks for them.

One day we went to go pick up the guitarist (Brad) at his apartment for a session. We ended up sitting around and getting really trashed for a couple hours before we actually left. Brad lived in a 3 story apartment building with a REALLY long flight of stairs up. When we finally got around to leaving, everyone but Brad went down and hung out at the car for a bit. I don't know what the hell he was doing, but it was taking forever and the beer was beckoning to my nether regions for release...

After hanging out for a bit by the car, I decided I needed to go take a **** before we actually got underway. So I go back in the apartment building and I'm climbing the mount everest of stair cases and I guess I figured I had gone up enough flights of stairs and went for the first door I found and assumed it was his. The door was unlocked, which made me think I found the right place and I just walk on in....

...I open the door and start walking down the hallway...I'm pretty drunk at this point and I thought something was a bit different, but just brushed it off since I had only been at Brad's place a couple times...As I'm walking down the hall I see a group of people at the end sitting on the couch...an old lady, a couple kids and what I assume is their mother. They're all a a bit "brown" so I assumed it was his wife's family since she's Mexican and I keep on going...

I'm wearing combat boots, BDU pants, old ripped up flannel, a t-shirt and a biker jacket with a big ole Misfits skull on the back...I think the sight of me freaked the people on the couch out so I waved, while I'm wondering how Aida's relatives ended up in the apartment and I didn't even notice them entering the building while we were standing out front...

...as I get to the end of the hall, I notice some guy jump up and start heading towards me shaking his hands like he's telling me no, and it hits me...I just wandered in to some middle eastern family's apartment randomly...The look on their faces was of complete horror seeing some militant looking guy in a biker jacket wandering down their front hall...I started appologizing and made a beeline for the front door...After I got out I was nearly dying laughing all the way up to Brad's place and all the way back down to the car after relieving myself in the appropriate apartment lol...

Ingvar Angst
Amarr
Nasty Pope Holding Corp
Talocan United
Posted - 2011.04.01 12:44:00 - [64]
 

Aside from the expected April 1st shenanigansWink ...

OK, here we go. A Minmatar, Caldari and Ammarian walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

If you have some appreciation for the comedic stylings of a relatively noobish yet amazingly good looking Amarrian (with no alts, btw), it would be appreciated. Very Happy

If you do quit, best of luck and fly safe.

Chesty McJubblies
Gallente
Center for Advanced Studies
Posted - 2011.04.01 12:50:00 - [65]
 

Originally by: Valari Nala Zena
Originally by: Chesty McJubblies
April 1.

/end.


While we all kinda know for sure, this thread is still a good one :)

/resume


I was watching Jimmy Carr the other day, and here's one:

When I was a kid, I was scared of the dentist. He was a pedophile.

Vantoth
Gallente
Master of None
Posted - 2011.04.01 12:51:00 - [66]
 


How are an overweight woman and a brick alike?

Both will eventually get laid by an illegal immigrant from south of the American border.


Mr LaForge
Posted - 2011.04.01 12:52:00 - [67]
 

Vegeta, what does the wallet say about his ISK level?

Its over 90 billion!!! *an ibis is doomsdayed*

90 Billion, that's impossible. There's no way that can be right!

Jaketh Ivanes
Amarr
House of El
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:00:00 - [68]
 

Originally by: Telvani
Originally by: Burnharder
A 3 year old character with 150bn and 103m in SP?

HAHAHA.


Not really sure where you are going with that one, his is SP lies well within the expected for his char age.


Really???? I must be doing something wrong then Crying or Very sad...

Flynn Fetladral
Royal Order of Security Specialists
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:00:00 - [69]
 

103m SP char in three years of game time? :-/

Aoki Ayumi
University of Caille
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:11:00 - [70]
 

I would be the happyest girl in the world if someone would gift me someday with some isk... I am not looking at anyone... :*****

Akita T
Caldari Navy Volunteer Task Force
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:14:00 - [71]
 

We shall take your light converters.

Ingvar Angst
Amarr
Nasty Pope Holding Corp
Talocan United
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:15:00 - [72]
 

Originally by: Aoki Ayumi
I would be the happyest girl in the world if someone would gift me someday with some isk... I am not looking at anyone... :*****


How much of that would you spend on spelling lessons?


Thank you, thank you! I'm here 'til Thursday! Try the veal!

Aoki Ayumi
University of Caille
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:22:00 - [73]
 

happiest?

Maraxus Coe
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:25:00 - [74]
 

Edited by: Maraxus Coe on 01/04/2011 13:42:33
so Hemmo, do you remember your first blowjob?



...



How'd you get the taste out of your mouth? :D




A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to the front of his pants. The bartender looks at him in confusion. "Ok Cap'n.. I'm pretty sure the common thing here is for a Parrot or some **** to be on your shoulder, and not a steering wheel on your crotch. So what's the deal?" The Pirate Captain looks him dead in the eye "Arrr, it's Drivin' me nuts!"

EDIT: DAMN THE PERSON WHO POSTED MY PIRATE JOKE ALREADY !

Tribal Trader
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:27:00 - [75]
 

Edited by: Tribal Trader on 01/04/2011 13:27:26
While this is sure to e an April 1st joke thread, reading jokes is still fun, so here's mine:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Rellik B00n
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:27:00 - [76]
 

happy April 1st!


A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator.
Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my **** inside.
The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed.
If it works, everyone buys me drinks."
The crowd agrees.
The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth.
After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head.
The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed.
Everyone buys him drinks.
Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."
After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar.
It's a woman.
"I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."


Cairn Bolete
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:29:00 - [77]
 


Grey Stormshadow
Starwreck Industries
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:39:00 - [78]
 

Your stuff combined with my skills would end up to epic failfest and one damn expensive killmail.


Hazel Desjani
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:43:00 - [79]
 

If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask for his three-hole punch.

Well, it was funny to me. ugh

Keras Authion
Science and Trade Institute
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:43:00 - [80]
 

I'll just leave this here.

Pr1ncess Alia
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:44:00 - [81]
 

I was going to make you laugh.

Then I read the part about where you have been playing for 3 years but you consider yourself from the old generation.

And you made me laugh.

/04's and '03s, ban everyone else Razz
//Can we rename it to "April Idiots Day"?

Togalosh
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:47:00 - [82]
 

How do you know you've been robbed by a chinese person?


Your homework is all done and they are still trying to back out of your driveway.

Scortched Merc
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:50:00 - [83]
 

I am the face of Eve's learning curve!

Rakshasa Taisab
Caldari
Sane Industries Inc.
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:53:00 - [84]
 

Please pass me the GS and PI stuff, I'd hate to see some pleb prematurely sell them on market leading to me cashing in being delayed by weeks.

Noran Ferah
Red Sky Morning
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:54:00 - [85]
 

Bitter vets best vets.


Can I have your mount?

Chesty McJubblies
Gallente
Center for Advanced Studies
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:54:00 - [86]
 


Lost Greybeard
Gallente
Posted - 2011.04.01 13:56:00 - [87]
 

So I says to him I says, "that's no Dominix, that's my wife!"

Kashmyta
Gallente
The 8th Order
Mean Coalition
Posted - 2011.04.01 14:10:00 - [88]
 


Jennifer Starling
Imperial Navy Forum Patrol
Posted - 2011.04.01 14:11:00 - [89]
 

Edited by: Jennifer Starling on 01/04/2011 14:10:49
Originally by: Hemmo Paskiainen
Im giving away:
25b isk liq
40b in random officermods
15b in Guidancesystems & some other PI investments
8b in deadspace mods all over eve
1 x the right to buy this sub cap char (103m sp) for 10 mil isk
1 x the right to buy 70m perfect nyx char for 10 mil isk
1 x the right to buy 50m maxed missile & racial caldari char
Some other low sp chars (8-17m sp chars)

I don't want perfect characters. Don't you have a few cats that I can have? Sad

xXxSatsujinxXx
Whacky Waving Inflatable Flailing Arm Tubemen
Posted - 2011.04.01 14:30:00 - [90]
 

Originally by: Hemmo Paskiainen
(head always wins)



/me gives head


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