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blankseplocked [Shortish story] Sansha's Nation
 
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Evil Incarn8
Amarr
Ministry of War
Posted - 2011.02.24 14:56:00 - [1]
 

I have had a bit of time away from posting stories to my blog, September infactEmbarassed I used to be quite regular.

Anywho I have written my latest, and rather than only posting it to those who know me, I thought I would share it with the community.

This story is about a young (non-pilot) woman caught up in the frontlines of a Sansha Invasion trying to defend her home, it is a bit of a diversion from my previous autobiographical fiction.

Enjoy

Sansha's Nation

Doctor Carbonatite
Corporation for Public Broadcasting
Posted - 2011.02.24 18:37:00 - [2]
 

Your sentences are entirely too long. I understand the desire to insert as much detail as possible, but you need to break it up a bit. It might seem redundant to you, but sentence breaks vastly improve readability. To put it simply, you can't write the way you think.


 

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