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Eda Bei
Posted - 2011.04.12 13:29:00 - [181]
 


"I wish ccp would address the backlog of what needs to be addressed in Eve (or at least communicate how far they've come along in trying to address it) " Granted. CCP announces that they've decided their players are a bunch of whiney pants crybabies who won't be happy no matter what the company does so they are abandoning everything in the backlog. So now you know.

I wish I knew just how much the poster above me likes horses.

Landrae
Gallente
Posted - 2011.04.12 20:28:00 - [182]
 

Edited by: Landrae on 12/04/2011 20:28:07
He likes horses more than you can possibly know, so much in fact he married one.

I wish I was married to the real life version of Lightning from Final Fantasy 13.

Peri Simone
Steel Dawn Inc.
Posted - 2011.04.12 20:35:00 - [183]
 

Granted. The images will haunt you forever.

I wish I could live forever, without growing physically older, until I wanted to stop.

PS. And I can totally deal with my friends and loved ones passing away as I live on into the future, so don't try and pull that old chestnut out of the bag. Wink

Peri Simone
Steel Dawn Inc.
Posted - 2011.04.12 20:38:00 - [184]
 

Originally by: Landrae
I wish I was married to the real life version of Lightning from Final Fantasy 13.


Granted. Sadly she doesn't wish to be married to you, and files for divorce within the hour.

My wish above.

Matt Armada
Gallente
Post Apocalyptic Convenience Store
Posted - 2011.04.13 00:48:00 - [185]
 

Originally by: Peri Simone
Granted. The images will haunt you forever.

I wish I could live forever, without growing physically older, until I wanted to stop.

PS. And I can totally deal with my friends and loved ones passing away as I live on into the future, so don't try and pull that old chestnut out of the bag. Wink

Granted. After Eighty years of life with no change the goverment draws onto your ability and takes you into custody, deciding to experiment on you in order to find the secret to your ever lasting life, and refusing to let you go even if you do decide to let yourself age normally.

I wish they would make another Homeworld game

Cornwalace
Posted - 2011.04.26 13:56:00 - [186]
 

Originally by: Matt Armada
I wish they would make another Homeworld game


It's being made. It won't come out until 2018. Maybe.

I wish time would go by faster.


CCP Shadow


C C P
C C P Alliance
Posted - 2011.04.26 14:45:00 - [187]
 

Originally by: Cornwalace
Originally by: Matt Armada
I wish they would make another Homeworld game


It's being made. It won't come out until 2018. Maybe.

I wish time would go by faster.




Granted! Sort of. You are abducted by a brilliant but misguided amateur pharmacologist who was kicked out of med school in his second year. Something about ethics. And watching way too much of the Hueco Mundo stuff in Bleach, but we'll get to that momentarily.

Anyway, he pulls a Dexter on you with a syringe and next thing you know you're in a sterile white room, strapped to a gurney, and unable to move or feel your extremities. Unbeknownst to you, the sociopath who abducted you also pithed you while you were under - as done with frogs "back in the day". Most unfortunate.

This is where Bleach comes in. He injects you with a chemical of his own creation that makes you hypersensitive to the passing of time. So, in a sense, your mind and its perception of time is moving a thousand times faster than the rest of us. The experience, then, is that every real second seems to pass one thousand times slower for you. Your thoughts quite literally running circles around everyone and everything around you at hyperspeed. Only for you, we speak and move at an impossibly slow pace. "Why does it take the syringe guy an hour to blink?!"

You live a healthy life to the age of 73, your sustenance provided by your deviant benefactor, but your experience of that life is roughly 73,000 years (minus your current age that passed with normal perceptions) strapped to a gurney in a sterile white room looking at the ceiling.

I wish I could find Jack Daniel's & Cola sold by the bottle in Shanghai. Wait! I did. But I haven't opened it yet so that's not to blame for the corrupted wish above. That's just how I am.

So then... I wish that life for us knuckle-dragging humans advanced to become like life in the Culture (in the Iain M. Banks novels).

Istvaan Shogaatsu
Caldari
Guiding Hand Social Club
Posted - 2011.04.26 14:54:00 - [188]
 

Originally by: CCP Shadow

So then... I wish that life for us knuckle-dragging humans advanced to become like life in the Culture (in the Iain M. Banks novels).

It does. Humans grow to be incredibly self-sufficient. Science answers every question ever asked, and provides for every desire humans could possibly have. Their life spans extend for hundreds of years, and then even longer still, thanks to advanced medicine.

Humanity grows bored. It does not encounter any other alien races as it expands through the milky way, then neighbouring galaxies. There are no Idirans to fight, no wars to rattle things up, merely laurels to rest upon and philosophies philosophized a billion times before. After a few billion generations, humanity grows weary of the whole existence business, and commits a simple and abrupt mass suicide, as determined by unanimous vote.

I wish for pizza.

Lykouleon
Wildly Inappropriate
Goonswarm Federation
Posted - 2011.04.27 00:43:00 - [189]
 

Originally by: Istvaan Shogaatsu
I wish for pizza.


It is done! However, the delivery driver arrives 40 minutes late, refuses to take your coupon, and drives through your azalea bush on the way out of the drive-way. They also messed up your order and put anchovies, pineapples, and what looks like a fungus on your delicious pie.

I wish for world peace! (have fun with this...)

Culmen
Caldari
Culmenation
Posted - 2011.04.27 04:21:00 - [190]
 

Originally by: Lykouleon

I wish for world peace! (have fun with this...)


Granted,
A Gamma Ray Burst incinerates all life on planet earth.
Human population is exactly zero.
That means zero countries are at war, zero people are fighting, zero people are unhappy.
World Peace! Rest in Peace!

I wish I had more fun corrupting that last wish.

Heroltior Ghedonia
Posted - 2011.04.27 08:26:00 - [191]
 

Originally by: Culmen
Originally by: Lykouleon

I wish for world peace! (have fun with this...)


Granted,
A Gamma Ray Burst incinerates all life on planet earth.
Human population is exactly zero.
That means zero countries are at war, zero people are fighting, zero people are unhappy.
World Peace! Rest in Peace!

I wish I had more fun corrupting that last wish.


Granted. But in your shear excitement, you accidentally throw yourself out of a 4 story building and break your back. You spend the rest of you vegetative life motionless and unable to urinate and defecate without the assistance of various tubes.

I wish life was a Charlie Brown skit for one day.

Amaroq Dricaldari
Amarr
Vengeance Industrial Militia
Posted - 2011.05.13 17:40:00 - [192]
 

Originally by: Heroltior Ghedonia
Originally by: Culmen
Originally by: Lykouleon

I wish for world peace! (have fun with this...)


Granted,
A Gamma Ray Burst incinerates all life on planet earth.
Human population is exactly zero.
That means zero countries are at war, zero people are fighting, zero people are unhappy.
World Peace! Rest in Peace!

I wish I had more fun corrupting that last wish.


Granted. But in your shear excitement, you accidentally throw yourself out of a 4 story building and break your back. You spend the rest of you vegetative life motionless and unable to urinate and defecate without the assistance of various tubes.

I wish life was a Charlie Brown skit for one day.


Congradulations, now are now an Oscar Myer Hotdog.

I wish that Harmony Gold didn't start being idiots. If that didn't happen, FASA wouldn't have gone out of business.

P.S.: Will I get in trouble for resurrecting this thread?

Culmen
Caldari
Culmenation
Posted - 2011.05.14 03:44:00 - [193]
 

Originally by: Amaroq Dricaldari

I wish that Harmony Gold didn't start being idiots. If that didn't happen, FASA wouldn't have gone out of business.

P.S.: Will I get in trouble for resurrecting this thread?


Granted.
FASA never went out of buisness and went on to make a BattleTech movie.
Set before the annihilation of clan smoke jaguar.
It gave the Word of Blake magic powers, made all the clans into violent black people, made Prince Davion an offensively flaming homosexual and had Karensky return with aliens.
It ****d all nostalgia for the series and was hailed as worse than the phantom menace.
BattleTech is permanently buried, no further Mechwarrior games are planned, no fan mods for Crysis are made.

I wish this thread would live forever.

Amaroq Dricaldari
Amarr
Vengeance Industrial Militia
Posted - 2011.05.17 04:11:00 - [194]
 

Edited by: Amaroq Dricaldari on 17/05/2011 04:12:01
Bzzt.

Because I can't find a way to corrpt your wish, I just zapped you with 9001 StunGuns.

I wish *insert random wish here*

Culmen
Caldari
Culmenation
Posted - 2011.05.17 06:15:00 - [195]
 

Originally by: Amaroq Dricaldari
Edited by: Amaroq Dricaldari on 17/05/2011 04:12:01
Bzzt.

Because I can't find a way to corrpt your wish, I just zapped you with 9001 StunGuns.

I wish *insert random wish here*


Granted, you wished to be sodomized by dingo wearing artillery shells as condoms.
You are sodomized then eaten.

I wish the console tards would realize that the PC is the better First Person Shooter platform.

Cornwalace
Posted - 2011.05.18 16:57:00 - [196]
 

Originally by: Culmen
I wish the console tards would realize that the PC is the better First Person Shooter platform.


They do. Suddenly, Console companies start making their crappy computer games for computers. The games that were bad on a console are now worse on a computer.

I wish Firefly came back.

Miss Yanumano
Caldari
Science and Trade Institute
Posted - 2011.05.18 19:05:00 - [197]
 

Edited by: Miss Yanumano on 18/05/2011 20:35:04
Originally by: Cornwalace

I wish Firefly came back.


Granted, but it's canceled 6 episodes later by Fox getting an injunction against it in court pending copyright infringement and further investigation.

I wish that blasters would be top notch again!

Amaroq Dricaldari
Amarr
Vengeance Industrial Militia
Posted - 2011.05.19 05:07:00 - [198]
 

Edited by: Amaroq Dricaldari on 19/05/2011 05:08:11
Originally by: Miss Yanumano
Edited by: Miss Yanumano on 18/05/2011 20:35:04
Originally by: Cornwalace

I wish Firefly came back.


Granted, but it's canceled 6 episodes later by Fox getting an injunction against it in court pending copyright infringement and further investigation.

I wish that blasters would be top notch again!


Since you should have wished for something better, I will change your wish to "I wish the world wouldn't end"

Wish granted. However, upon the world entering the new Golden Age by 2012, your other wish doesn't come true, and it also gets worse for you. That is because making Blasters Top-Notch again is the very thing that would cause the end of the world, which is why CCP also bans you from EVE exactly 24 hours before your death, and they hire a CIA Agent to "Dissapear" you, and make the public think you were dead, but you are actually in a top secret underground labratory, taking HORRIBLE tests.

I also wish that the world wouldn't end.

Lev Aeris
United Amarr Templar Legion
Fidelas Constans
Posted - 2011.05.19 12:35:00 - [199]
 

Originally by: Amaroq Dricaldari

Since you should have wished for something better, I will change your wish to "I wish the world wouldn't end"

Wish granted. However, upon the world entering the new Golden Age by 2012, your other wish doesn't come true, and it also gets worse for you. That is because making Blasters Top-Notch again is the very thing that would cause the end of the world, which is why CCP also bans you from EVE exactly 24 hours before your death, and they hire a CIA Agent to "Dissapear" you, and make the public think you were dead, but you are actually in a top secret underground labratory, taking HORRIBLE tests.

I also wish that the world wouldn't end.


A cataclysmic solar even knocks the planet of earth out of solar orbit into interstellar space, preventing the death by nova we would have faced in 4 billion years. The surface of the earth goes into an ice age due to the lack of sunlight, causing 99.9% of humanity to go extinct. The few survivors live in underground super bunkers powered by nuclear reactors. Unfortunately during the cataclysm all records of human literature and history are destroyed, except 10,000 copies of Jersey Shore on DVD.

I wish that the wing commander series was brought back.

Amaroq Dricaldari
Amarr
Vengeance Industrial Militia
Posted - 2011.05.19 15:51:00 - [200]
 

Edited by: Amaroq Dricaldari on 20/05/2011 00:28:40
Edited by: Amaroq Dricaldari on 19/05/2011 15:51:52
Originally by: Lev Aeris
The few survivors live in underground super bunkers powered by nuclear reactors. Unfortunately during the cataclysm all records of human literature and history are destroyed, except 10,000 copies of Jersey Shore on DVD.

That is why humans would start offworld colonies before it happened. Alternate, less corrupted conclusion:

Humans start using tools to move there own planet to another star that just formed, which actually isn't very far away. The recent invention of the first Warp Engine helps reduce the time it takes to move the planet. However, they ended up knockiing another planet out of orbit in order to start orbiting the new star.
Originally by: Lev Aeris
I wish that the wing commander series was brought back.

I never heard of it.

I wish for a Thermos that actually worked.

P.S.: I would like to congradulate everyone on getting 200 posts. I hope we can bumb it up to something even higher before the end of the world.

Miso Hawnee
Posted - 2011.05.20 05:34:00 - [201]
 

Originally by: Amaroq Dricaldari

I wish for a Thermos that actually worked.



You get your wish, a fully functional thermos that always keeps its contents warm. The downside is that it is lined with depleted uranium. You die a slow horrible death to radiation sickness, but your soup is warm!

I wish that Amaroq Dricaldari would stop disregarding wishes and making up his own questions.

Amaroq Dricaldari
Amarr
Vengeance Industrial Militia
Posted - 2011.05.20 15:04:00 - [202]
 

Edited by: Amaroq Dricaldari on 20/05/2011 15:04:58
Edited by: Amaroq Dricaldari on 20/05/2011 15:04:25
Originally by: Miso Hawnee
Originally by: Amaroq Dricaldari

I wish for a Thermos that actually worked.



You get your wish, a fully functional thermos that always keeps its contents warm. The downside is that it is lined with depleted uranium. You die a slow horrible death to radiation sickness, but your soup is warm!

I wish that Amaroq Dricaldari would stop disregarding wishes and making up his own questions.


Depleted Uranium isn't Radioactive. Uranium is only radioactive when it is NOT depleted. When it is depleted, it has reached the end of it's Half-Life and is no longer radioactive (and can also no longer be used in powerplants or bombs, but it can still be used to make extremely heavy bullets).

stoicfaux
Gallente
Posted - 2011.05.20 18:08:00 - [203]
 

Originally by: Amaroq Dricaldari

Depleted Uranium isn't Radioactive. Uranium is only radioactive when it is NOT depleted. When it is depleted, it has reached the end of it's Half-Life and is no longer radioactive (and can also no longer be used in powerplants or bombs, but it can still be used to make extremely heavy bullets).


Your wish to point out ignorance in other people is granted. Go to foxnews.com, read the user comments sections, and point out ignorance.

I wish that the United States had a much better public education system.


Miso Hawnee
Posted - 2011.05.20 20:12:00 - [204]
 

Originally by: stoicfaux
Originally by: Amaroq Dricaldari

Depleted Uranium isn't Radioactive. Uranium is only radioactive when it is NOT depleted. When it is depleted, it has reached the end of it's Half-Life and is no longer radioactive (and can also no longer be used in powerplants or bombs, but it can still be used to make extremely heavy bullets).


Your wish to point out ignorance in other people is granted. Go to foxnews.com, read the user comments sections, and point out ignorance.

I wish that the United States had a much better public education system.




Granted, The US develops a world class public education system. Incidentally Amaroq develops a 5th grade reading and comprehension level and the ability to operate google.com. This allows him to discover that DU is actually still radioactive and a hazard to health when ingestion is involved. He also learns the meaning of the word slow.

Meanwhile the US education system continues to improve for generations until the point where the pursuit of scientific knowledge becomes akin to a religion. The highly educated populace becomes so focused on discovery and science that they all forget to copulate and the nation dies off.

I wish that I wasn't such a raging *******.

Amaroq Dricaldari
Amarr
Vengeance Industrial Militia
Posted - 2011.05.21 07:44:00 - [205]
 

Edited by: Amaroq Dricaldari on 21/05/2011 09:18:18
In case you are wondering, my IQ is at least in the 180's, maybe higher.

Oh, yeah, wish granted. There is no point corrupting a wish that benefits everyone.

I wish people would listen to the smarter people who actually know what they are doing.

Miso Hawnee
Posted - 2011.05.21 08:55:00 - [206]
 

Edited by: Miso Hawnee on 21/05/2011 10:19:27
Originally by: Amaroq Dricaldari
In case you are wondering,my IQ is at least in the 180's, maybe higher.

Oh, yeah, wish granted. There is no point corrupting a wish that benefits everyone.

I wish people would listen to the smarter people who actually know what they are doing.


LOL

I wasn't wondering boy wonder. Glad to know that you are an elitist and pretentious. I work with top level engineers from the worlds best engineering schools in the field every day. These are the same geniuses that test rotation on an unsecured 480 volt motor and cause it to go phase to phase. A million dollars worth of education sitting at a table and they are the ones the most likely to get you killed. I've seen seven of them in a huddle trying to figure out how to unclog a drain. Meanwhile a laborer from china with no higher education unclogs the drain while they are still thinking about it.

"The problem with IQ tests and educational assessments of a person's intelligence is that they do not measure actual intelligence. An IQ test is a set of hypothetical situations and abstract shape and pattern matching questions that can determine a person's ability to reason about abstraction, but intelligence is more than reasoning ability. Real world situations requiring actual knowledge are more important to a person's ability to thrive in life than any abstract measurement of their pattern matching abilities."

Wish granted. Engineers at a firm are all concerned that a clogged storm drain is causing rainwater to flood the parking lot, threatening to flood the workshop. They try in vain to use a fork truck and plywood palette as a makeshift plunger. They fail and retreat to the loading dock to theorize another solution. In the mean time the shop welder gets a compressed air line and a 10 ft stick of 3/4" PVC conduit. He inserts the conduit into the clogged line and shoots compressed air into the choke point where the clog exists, clearing the drain in 45 seconds.

I wish for a successful world wide movement of anarcho-syndicalism.

Please visit your user settings to re-enable images.

Amaroq Dricaldari
Amarr
Vengeance Industrial Militia
Posted - 2011.05.21 10:06:00 - [207]
 

Since I couldn't understand what you just said, I will ignore it temporariliy until I think of a way to corrupt it

I wish a CCP Dev would look at my Fan-Made EVE Poster.

Amaroq Dricaldari
Amarr
Vengeance Industrial Militia
Posted - 2011.05.22 02:12:00 - [208]
 

Anyone still making wishes?

Look, the world didn't end, and won't anytime soon.

I will repeat my wish (see above).

Culmen
Caldari
Culmenation
Posted - 2011.05.22 02:35:00 - [209]
 

Originally by: Lev Aeris


I wish that the wing commander series was brought back.


Since Lev Aeris didn't get his wish corrupted, and it's the last wish before derail.
I'm rolling back to his wish.

The Wing Commander series is brought back, Christopher Blair is brought back to life by ret con. Mark Hamil get's pulled off Batman Arkham City, as a result that game never gets completed, resulting in thousands of Batman fans rioting in the streets.

Continuing the tradition of live action movies, players of wing commander have to stare at Mark Hamil for hours on end. This is a recent photo. You begin throwing up after 2 hours of Cutscenes, and die of dehydration because your local hospital is filled up by overweight heat stroke patients who were attempting to riot while wearing a full rubber Batman suit.

I wish Privateer 2's didn't suck.
Seriously, a sci-fi game with both Brian Blessed and Christopher Walken?!? How could they screw that up?

PS as you figured out, I recognize your name Lev.

Bane Necran
Minmatar
Posted - 2011.05.22 02:50:00 - [210]
 

Originally by: Miso Hawnee
I wish for a successful world wide movement of anarcho-syndicalism.


It turns out everyone is in fact ruled by a king, and they were unaware of it because they didn't remember voting for him.


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