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blankseplocked <Fiction> Why I hate the news.
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Khoon Sard
Posted - 2003.06.30 21:22:00 - [1]

I walk into a random dining establishment, in a large chunk of scrap metal that passes for a station in Syndicate space to the untrained eye. Any normal being would look at the time, but then again I am far from normal. Time doesn’t matter to me anymore, as a ship pilot, I have grown so numb to the passage of time from endless hours of transit and mining that basically my biological clock has turned into a switch that goes from Eating, Sleeping, to Working. Right now I am concerned with eating.
I sit down on a lump of plastic that happens to be pink. I hate pink. The plastic reminds me all too much of the interface to my ship, the diner smells like vomit warmed over and there is a perpetual smog from the various substances that are being smoked. Neon lights dot the walls and ceiling, some of them are actually in proper order. A glitchy 3D holo-machine is attempting to play an old Gallente classic in the middle of the bar, but much to the bartender’s chagrin, it just keeps flashing a scantily clad woman slapping what is supposed to be a Minmatar.

“Whaddya want?”

The waitress snaps me out of my dispassionate state with her “quaint” words of comfort. Well they would be if they weren’t spoken with a still smoking cigarette in her mouth.
“Anything dark, with a kick,” I say, “and the cheapest slab of trash you call food so that I’ll have something to throw up after I pretend to be drunk from your watered down ****.”

Needless to say, the waitress is not amused. She takes my order with a tired look and starts to wander back to the area where she is going to apparently order my food.

I remember as a child I used to love going out to eat…but that was eighty years ago. All my memories were imprinted onto my mind as I was grown in a giant test tube. My first real memory was a short scientist with a bushy beard.

“Congratulations sir! You have now been cloned three times!”

I think the scientist was overjoyed with the idea, while I just couldn’t help but imagine myself wringing his skinny little neck. Now that would have been something to be overjoyed about.

<Several drinks later...>

I am getting ready to leave the bar when I am approached by a gorgeous Intaki female with long golden hair and eyes the color of Gneiss. Her legs are proudlly displayed and she has a sinuous tattoo of a snake that disappears up her small black dress, which leaves very little, besides the rest of the tattoo, up to the imagination. One word flashes through my mind, trouble.

“Khoon Sard I presume?”

If she knew me, as she was trying to imply, she would know that a husky voice and a bit of cleavage have never made me weak in the knees. I also wasn’t the type of guy to visit the “pleasure establishments” that seem to line the sides of the corridors in these seedy stations. One thing did bother me though. I don’t give out my name to women, and especially not women who look like they would use me to polish their boots, so I was immediately put on guard. I took my time trying to decdide whether to push her aside and walk back to my ship, or laugh in her face. She mistook my silence as a yes and continued on, unimpressed with my cold stare and emotionless look.

“You probably don’t know who I am, and to tell you the truth I don’t think you will find out either. What is important is that I know ho you are. I know you are the fourth clone of an acquaintance of mine.”

“I’m number three lady, and I have never met you in my life.”

“Oh no. It is you who are mistaken. We know each other very well, but unfortunately the Khoon Sard that I knew died and was replaced by a clone that wasn’t imprinted with his memories. You see my friend was basically wiped from the system.”

Now I have been duped many times in my life, everything from buying a overpriced mining laser, to making a trade run only to find that the buyer did not have money to pay for the goods. But one thing that all my mistakes have taught me, is never trust anyone…especially good looking women.

“You are probably trying to figure out how this scam works. Well I have a news flash, this is not a scam, but if you don’t play it right you are going to end up in worse shape then you did last time. So the choice is yours. You can ignore me, get into your ship and head out to do some mining, and probably get set upon by some battleships that happen to be flying by, or you could come with me and find out why you just became the most wanted miner in the galaxy.”

I thought for a moment, and then said, “You know lady, it’s true what they say.”

She seemed taken aback by my comment, and started to speak when I cut her off.

“All news is bad news.”

Journal of Khoon Sard

Edited b

Dan Forever
The Legion of Spoon
Posted - 2003.07.01 15:13:00 - [2]

so why are you the most wanted miner in the galaxy?

Khoon Sard
Posted - 2003.07.01 17:58:00 - [3]

The last six hours seemed like a blur. The probably toxic food I had seemed to be trying to kick its way out of my stomach. I had a headache and to top it all off I needed to find a bathroom before my bladder exploded.

That stupid broad was the cause of all of this. After following her to a shady hotel she pulled out a small satchel. She just handed it to me and said that all that I needed would be in there. I almost smacked that satisfied grin out off of her face.

So here I am, sitting by the docking platform to my ship, drinking my quaffe and debating what to do. I boarded my ship and tried to relax but couldn’t get the satchel out of my mind.

So I pulled out the satchel and opened it up. Inside was one of the new VR-interface visors. It seemed pretty high tech, but then again, I’ve never really used this stuff, so who knows. I continued to dig into the satchel and come up with a data disks. I plugged them into the VR-Interface and sat down to see what this crazy b---- wanted me to do.

I was somewhat disappointed in that the data disks only gave me coordinates to some part of space I wasn’t familiar with. It also gave me a time to be there and list of cargo to have. I could afford the cargo, but just barely. What the hell did someone want me to haul this crap all the way into the Fountain region? Along with all this was your classic disclaimer about not telling anyone or suffering the consequences, real cheesy stuff.

My gut, besides being upset, was telling me something was fishy. Being a full time skeptic had kept me alive in more than one situation, so I decided to check out the story. I got on the horn and contacted an agent I knew in the syndicate. He wasn’t happy to hear me, but for a little isk he was willing to listen. I ran a couple of things by him and he told me that the coordinates I had given him were in a star system that seemed to have a remarkable increase in the number of pilots who were lost. This did not look good. Not good at all…but then again, maybe I should check up on that hot little number again.

Ten hours later

So I went to a local “official” I knew in the syndicate and got some information on my little sweetheart. I then paid a visit to a little “pawn shop.” So here I am, following this leggy vixen as she walks down the corridor. I may not be a master spy, but I have long since learned to follow someone without being seen. I stay outside when she enters one of the larger hotel-sections. Quite an upgrade from the piece of crap place she led me to before.

“Hey! You got a problem?”

A burly Intaki man with a uniform walks my way. He’s one of the local security agents. Intaki space doesn’t have what you would call police, but the station managers hate it when anything disturbs their business, hence the gangs of armed toughs.

“Actually I had a proposition for you.”

This perks up the guard’s ears. And we immediately begin walking to the side of the entrance.

An hour later.

I walk up to the door that leads to the apartment that my “employer” has rented. It’s amazing how easy it is to bribe people in Syndicate space. I place the card I bought from the receptionist in the keypad and then I open the door.

The place is not lit very well and the table in the living room shows an empty wine bottle and two glasses. A noise from the bedroom catches my attention. I guess someone is celebrating.

The bedroom door is unlocked and it takes me only a second for me to realize what is going on. It takes the two occupants in the bed, however, a bit more time, as they were fairly busy before I walked in.

The woman screams and the man takes a look at me and reaches for the dresser. Unfortunately I am much quicker than he is, and I get to feel the satisfaction roll over me in waves, as I feel my boot connect with his jaw.

“If I were you two, I would sit back and shut up.”

The man is holding his face in his hands, as the, now disheveled, woman stares back at me with contempt. It takes me a moment to survey the scene. The two are under the covers of a large bed, but what attracts my attention is the suitcase in the corner that seems to be full of isk.

So now I hold up my pistol with my right hand and point it between the two. It’s one of a couple purchases I made.

“We know who you are. What are you going to do? Kill us? Even the syndicate wouldn’t allow that. So what are you doing? Don’t you have a ship to be flying?”

“I just want to tell you three things lady. First, I recognize your boyfriend. It took me a second, but then I remember his goofy face as soon as I woke up from my cloning chamber. I assume that’s how you found out about my life.”

She didn’t look the least bit amused, but at least she didn’t look as frightened as her boyfriend.

“Second, I got a great deal on a stun-gun.”

It took a moment for her to realize what I said before I use my left hand to zap her boyfriend and then her in quick succession.


Khoon Sard
Posted - 2003.07.01 18:01:00 - [4]

Two hours later

I watch the couple wake up in the pod attached to my ship. They are a bit disoriented, but otherwise all right. So I smile as they look out of the small opening that connects the rest of my ship to the pod.

“You are probably wondering where you are. You’ve been stripped naked and are about to be jettisoned from my ship in a capsule.”

She looks at me with absolute hate in her eyes. This is even more fun than I imagined.

“The naked thing wasn’t my idea. Remember I still have something to tell you. Third, there happens to be an Amarr slave-dealer that I know who was close by.”

I watch with pure satisfaction as the look of contempt slowly slides off her face and is replaced by a look of horror. Her boyfriend, my clone technician, starts to weep. I wave goodbye as I hit the jettison button and watch the pair drift off towards the Bestower nearby.

I walk to the back of my ship, send a thank you note to my friend, and sit down in my chair. I pull out a bottle of quaffe and put on some music. I still have some time before I have to start out again, may as well enjoy it while it lasts.

Yangja Isuko
Posted - 2003.07.02 08:03:00 - [5]

excellent piece.

Posted - 2003.07.02 14:24:00 - [6]

Quote: "The bedroom door is unlocked and it takes me only a second for me to realize what is going on. It takes the two occupants in the bed, however, a bit more time, as they were fairly busy before I walked in."


Quote: " "You are probably wondering where you are. You’ve been stripped naked and are about to be jettisoned from my ship in a capsule." "

Nice tale - however wouldn't the couple already be naked, having been surprised like that ?? Please visit your user settings to re-enable images.

Band of Brothers
Posted - 2003.07.02 15:01:00 - [7]

This made me grin :)

Halseth Durn
Oberon Incorporated
Morsus Mihi
Posted - 2003.07.02 16:43:00 - [8]

Great writing! Almost "film nior".

Khoon Sard
Posted - 2003.07.03 01:12:00 - [9]

As to the naked bit, well it is much easier to pay a porter to move two dressed individuals who seem to have passed out from drinking too much, yes I splashed some wine on them, than it is to explain why you are trying to have two naked people carted around the station.

Besides, the slaver wanted them naked. You know what they say...the customer is always right.

Khoon Sard

Bad Harlequin
Sebiestor Tribe
Posted - 2003.07.03 17:43:00 - [10]

good bit of writing, you clearly have skill... although i get a little twitchy when people get sold into slavery... ;)


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