open All Channels
seplocked Out of Pod Experience
blankseplocked Yet another emotional thread about girl issues
 
This thread is older than 90 days and has been locked due to inactivity.


 
Author Topic

Shameless Avenger
Posted - 2011.02.06 16:05:00 - [1]
 

Edited by: Shameless Avenger on 06/02/2011 16:07:41
When there's somebody with a broken heart, suffering from a bad relationship, I'm usually among the first ones to say "get over it". But when it happens to me, I kinda need the other guys to tell me to get over it.

Here's the deal...

Some time ago, married and with 2 kids, 2 things happened that led me to believe that the wifey was fooling around. First, she asked for some things (things that can't be discussed here) that only somebody taller than me could do. Around the same time, some "married guy from work" started showing up @ kids birthdays and stuff. I'm not a noob at this. I have been a "married guy from work" a couple of times myself. I know how to differentiate between the "married guy from work" and the "married guy from work that's fooling around with the other guys wifey".

But like I said, is easy to see the truth when is happening to others, but when is happening to you, you don't wanna believe the truth, you can't handle the truth. I should had confronted the guy right then, divorce right then. But I didn't.

So, times go by, I divorced wifey for other reasons, I get through the suffering & crying stage, I recover, I get better, I move on. One small problem tho, there are kids so, as much as I would like ex-wifey to dissapear from my life, she will always be there. COmmon friends will always be there. I will get news about what she is doing, who she is with, etc etc etc...

So, went to pick up my kids and ex-wifey is there talking on the phone with some friend, explaining how "some new boyfriend" does "something" so well (that something being what I can't detail here, same thing she asked me to do before, during our marriage, about 3 years ago)... and that the last 3 years with him have been so satisfying... (mind me, we got divorced just one year ago)... then new boyfriend gets out of the house in pijamas... "new boyfriend" just happen to be the "married guy from work" from 3 years ago....

As I'm watching all this, I'm connecting all the dots and now I have confirmation, ex-wifey was fooling around with "married guy from work" back when she was official wifey.... so I was going to tell wifey "I knew it!"... but I stopped myself because I don't wanna appear as a jealous guy. This is not jealousy, I got over her long ago. It is more like "man pride" that is hurting.

So now I'm here thinking like "I knew it, I should have acted back then". But back them I only have a strong hunch, based on experience and interpretations of signs usually associated with fooling-around-manship. I was not wrong, she was indeed fooling around (and she is a hoe)... but I could have been mistaken.

If the feelings of "I should have done something about the hunch" win me over, it is possible that some other new love pays the bill. What if some new love brings home some "married guy from work" that is really just some "married guy from work" and I leave the girl thinking that some fooling-around is going on? Then I would be leaving a perfectly good woman that could possibly NOT be fooling around, just because I had really bad experience with some hoe and I'm predisposed and become a woman-hater.

But then again, what if I find new love and I ignore signs of folling-around-manship and it turns out that there is indeed some fooling around going on?... then I will be a fool^2 for not acting/leaving when the signs show up?

And finally there's the fact that neither the ex-wifey (aka the hoe) not the "married guy from work" are stressed about what happened 3 years ago... I'm the one all stressed about it... and she doesn't deserve it... I should not be even thinking about it, she's not worth it.... kinda hard for me to do as I have to see her all the time due to kids.... and every time I have this urge to tell her "you are a hoe you are a hoe"... but kids there so I can't...

So please EvE pilots... It is my time to be the receiver of some tough reality check...

(to be continued)

















Shameless Avenger
Posted - 2011.02.06 16:08:00 - [2]
 

Edited by: Shameless Avenger on 06/02/2011 16:09:33
... so.. like I said.. is my time to receive your comments about "get over it"... "grow up"... and anything else that is appropriate to the situation.

Later... Shameless

Grek Forto
Crosshair Corp
Posted - 2011.02.06 16:08:00 - [3]
 

Edited by: Grek Forto on 06/02/2011 16:10:16
nevermind

Shameless Avenger
Posted - 2011.02.06 16:11:00 - [4]
 

Originally by: Grek Forto
Originally by: Shameless Avenger
give me a minute




Maybe that's why she dumped you? Cool


That's what I'm talking about... thx you sir.

Please send moar hard truths my way and help me get over it fast so I could go back to doing other moar interesting stuff like chasing new girl.

Grek Forto
Crosshair Corp
Posted - 2011.02.06 16:12:00 - [5]
 

Originally by: Shameless Avenger
Originally by: Grek Forto
Originally by: Shameless Avenger
give me a minute




Maybe that's why she dumped you? Cool


That's what I'm talking about... thx you sir.

Please send moar hard truths my way and help me get over it fast so I could go back to doing other moar interesting stuff like chasing new girl.


And here I was thinking that was too mean, thus the edit. YARRRR!!

Carry on

Shameless Avenger
Posted - 2011.02.06 16:16:00 - [6]
 

Originally by: Grek Forto

And here I was thinking that was too mean, thus the edit. YARRRR!!

Carry on


Mean truth is what I need... remember the saying "truth shall set you free" and "information is power". And truth = information. So by all means, go ahead and be mean NOW... before I get stuck on this for months.


Grek Forto
Crosshair Corp
Posted - 2011.02.06 16:20:00 - [7]
 

Originally by: Shameless Avenger
Originally by: Grek Forto

And here I was thinking that was too mean, thus the edit. YARRRR!!

Carry on


Mean truth is what I need... remember the saying "truth shall set you free" and "information is power". And truth = information. So by all means, go ahead and be mean NOW... before I get stuck on this for months.




Man the **** up then. Stop crying about pride and whatnot. It's all in the past. Very Happy

Caldari Citizen20090217
Posted - 2011.02.06 16:54:00 - [8]
 

Listen to anything and everything said by this guy, and heed his wise words.

Selinate
Amarr
Posted - 2011.02.06 17:49:00 - [9]
 

Edited by: Selinate on 06/02/2011 17:49:23
jesus christ, what is it with people coming on to a video game forum to talk about their relationships?

Find a new girl, move on, w/e, but there aren't many things that are quite as pathetic as whining on Internet Space Shipz forums about it.

Shameless Avenger
Posted - 2011.02.06 18:00:00 - [10]
 

THX u guys....

A friend of mine came in, smacked me in the head and I came back to my senses. I'm OK now...

Back to chasing new girl.

Sorry for the emotional temporary hiccup.


Blane Xero
Amarr
The Firestorm Cartel
Posted - 2011.02.06 18:21:00 - [11]
 

Judging by how often you make these threads, you need to stop chasing tail and sort yourself out.

AlleyKat
Gallente
The Unwanted.
Posted - 2011.02.06 18:26:00 - [12]
 

Just blank it from memory.

Treat her no different than a school teacher when you are picking up the kids and avoid all personal topics from now until the end of time. Just keep topics 'matter-of-fact' in those small moments when the kids are getting ready etc. Avoid small-talk and say goodbye at the earliest point, and use props whenever possible, like a mobile phone/watch/shoe laces to distract attention from you and you from her...

At any point in the future when she attempts personal conversation, politely state it is none of your business or none of her business, and say you would rather not discuss it. Then change the topic to the weather or current news - anything non-personal. And don't tell jokes and make any snide remarks.

Both of your lives are on different paths. FOCUS ON YOURS.

AK

Crumplecorn
Gallente
Eve Cluster Explorations
Posted - 2011.02.06 19:46:00 - [13]
 

Originally by: Caldari Citizen20090217
Listen to anything and everything said by this guy, and heed his wise words.

OMG, it's like /r9k/ and /adv/ rolled into one and put on the air.

IR Alt
Amarr
Hedion University
Posted - 2011.02.06 21:09:00 - [14]
 

Edited by: IR Alt on 06/02/2011 21:10:42
Originally by: Shameless Avenger
Originally by: Grek Forto

And here I was thinking that was too mean, thus the edit. YARRRR!!

Carry on


Mean truth is what I need... remember the saying "truth shall set you free" and "information is power". And truth = information. So by all means, go ahead and be mean NOW... before I get stuck on this for months.





IR ALT but I can convo you in-game for a more detailed explanation if you wish.

For now, let`s keep it mean and not necessarily true but most likely is.

Have you ever considered that "the thing he can do better than you" is in fact a tactic of sorts , employed by this evil, horrendous creature (she did bail on a normal family for her children just to get laid) to simply make you jealous?

From that point there are two roads, either it`s true in which case this somehow validates you more than her, therefore you are superior in a .. weird twisted sort of way.

OR it is not true, in which case this means that because she is comfortable talking about it around you (you don`t exactly tell every1 at the supermarket you can give a mean BJ) it means that she is actually comfortable with her choices and has no "relation" to you whatsoever, this, in turn, meaning it is most likely she never did have any relation with you.

Maybe think it through, figure out stuff, apply logic to love and whatever else you may be experiencing and you will find a perfectly good (but sadly, twisted and kind of disappointing) explanation for everything.

THEN, realise your childern are more important and as for a new life partner... for the love of God (not real but good idea) don`t you have any friends with an IQ of over 120 that can give you advice?

Make no mistake, YOU SUCK, there it is, mean and I said it ok? Now pick yourself up and STFU.

Captain Die
Sebiestor Tribe
Posted - 2011.02.06 21:10:00 - [15]
 

If you haven't already. Buy a new bed.

Caello Yazri
Posted - 2011.02.06 23:11:00 - [16]
 

I'd say relax and don't toss and turn in your bed thinking about it. Latest stats are that 60% of men and 40% of women have cheated at least once within their marriage. Some portion of that probably cheated several times if not doing it regularly. Cheating is rampant. You can't be sure that your next love won't cheat but you can decrease the likelihood of it. Keep your new girl satisfied and she wouldn't even look at other guys. Pick a girl who has other interests in life than sleeping around and talking with her girlfriends on the phone about all the juicy details. You can pick one with lower sex drive too if you don't need it 3 times a day. You may not be getting a whole lot of sex but on the other hand she won't go looking somewhere else for it either.

Originally by: Caldari Citizen20090217
Listen to anything and everything said by this guy, and heed his wise words.


I've listened to his podcasts. Gotta say he gives pretty good advice for the 50% of the very dumb male population on how to get laid with the the other 50% of really dumb women who lack any grain of rationality. If you consider yourself to be among those 50% dumb men and getting laid with that other 50% of really dumb women is your target goal then Leykis is most certainly your man. It's funny to hear how these guys look up to Leykis, you can hear the reverence in their voices when they call, because they know that they are so dumb that somebody else needs to think for them.

Rykuss
Gallente
Posted - 2011.02.07 00:14:00 - [17]
 

Should've, could've, would've...Forget about that crap, it'll consume you. Fact is, if someone wants to cheat there's not a damn thing you can do to stop it. Sure, it's a blow to your pride. She was fooling around and decided to taunt you with that fact when you picked up the kids. Seems to me she has some issues, perhaps there's even some resentment there. If she's been hinting at the two of you "fooling around", don't do it. No idea if this has happened, just a warning. In the meantime, you have kids to raise so HTFU and move on!

Also, anyone introduced to you as "the married guy from work" is obviously screwing your spouse/love interest. Sure, people have friends but that situation is so blindly obvious, I'd like to smack you upside the head myself. Thankfully you had a friend to do it for me. o/\o To your friend. Laughing

dr doooo
Posted - 2011.02.07 00:25:00 - [18]
 

Originally by: Blane Xero
Judging by how often you make these threads, you need to stop chasing tail and sort yourself out.


So you say you have been the 'married guy from work' a few times? As far as you know he was the only other guy concerning your ex, but she's the hoe? Kids excepted, sounds like if you had been the one to end it by moving on with someone else, you would have no regrets and wouldn't be looking back (assuming your theoretical new love interest didn't quickly dump you for the selfish tosser you are?).

I don't mean to be too down on you. I was a complete selfish tosser when I was younger. Been in what sounds like similar relationships to yours, but I've just been lucky enough to leave first before the whole bruised man-pride thing. Stop looking back at that sorry emotional mess, and start looking at what it means to be in a relationship. Stay single until you find someone that you can be 100% open and honest with. There are way way better ways of doing the whole 'relationship' thing than you have found so far.


Sturmwolke
Posted - 2011.02.07 07:40:00 - [19]
 

Eh ... another one of thee AI Alice like threads troll?

The BIGGEST reason why your wife strayed is because :

- Your marriage wasn't already working out, and she either gave up on it or succumbed to the easy way out.
- She's at the stage where she's playing to catch up to her fantasies, despite the responsibility bearing 2 children.

Whether it's not your fault, partly your fault or mostly your fault no one here can reflect on this except yourself. It takes a certain amount of swallowing your own pride and clear thinking, lest you're bound to repeat the same mistake again.

In any case, what really matters now are the 2 children. They are MORE IMPORTANT than your ex-wife, your new catch or the angst you feel about the betrayal. Nothing else should matter.


Herzog Wolfhammer
Gallente
Sigma Special Tactics Group
Posted - 2011.02.07 08:17:00 - [20]
 

I laugh at those guys who lament their wives leaving them.


You ever had one that would not leave, but treat you like she did?


When you have that then I am impressed.






Alotta Baggage
Amarr
Imperial Shipment
Posted - 2011.02.07 08:39:00 - [21]
 

Originally by: Herzog Wolfhammer
I laugh at those guys who lament their wives leaving them.


You ever had one that would not leave, but treat you like she did?


When you have that then I am impressed.








I keep my fiance in check by constantly reminding her I could replace her in a week, and I'm way too shallow to be bummed for any length of time over it YARRRR!!

PTang
Posted - 2011.02.07 17:32:00 - [22]
 

Originally by: Captain Die
If you haven't already. Buy a new bed.


NeutralShockedConfusedSmileVery HappyLaughing

Nikita Alterana
Kumiho's Smile
Posted - 2011.02.07 17:35:00 - [23]
 

this is why I'm just poly...

PTang
Posted - 2011.02.07 17:41:00 - [24]
 

Originally by: Captain Die
If you haven't already. Buy a new bed.


NeutralShockedConfusedSmileVery HappyLaughing

Captain Die
Sebiestor Tribe
Posted - 2011.02.07 17:48:00 - [25]
 

Edited by: Captain Die on 07/02/2011 17:49:25
Originally by: Nikita Alterana
this is why I'm just poly...


..amorous!

EDIT: **** spelling.

Ultim8Evil
Ministry Of Eternal Disorder
Posted - 2011.02.07 18:59:00 - [26]
 

Originally by: Shameless Avenger
First, she asked for some things (things that can't be discussed here) that only somebody taller than me could do.


ITT: Have to admit, I haven't read it all, but speaking as someone who is 6'7" tall, I lold.

/troll.

EventeDeSanto
Posted - 2011.02.08 06:06:00 - [27]
 

To Shameless Avenger

Get over it..

Basically you can sit and ponder for all eternity over "what if" and "if only" you will never find a good answer why, thing is that its already happen and you can't go back.

Concentrate your time on your kids and becoming the greatest Dad, then the "hoe" and "married from work" can sit and listen to how they go on about how great you are....

Evente

Corcyrus Endymion
Caldari
Elder Tribes
Posted - 2011.02.08 20:40:00 - [28]
 

Originally by: Shameless Avenger
she is a hoe

She is a hoe?

I'm surprised you lasted as long as you did! Even had kids at that!


 

This thread is older than 90 days and has been locked due to inactivity.


 


The new forums are live

Please adjust your bookmarks to https://forums.eveonline.com

These forums are archived and read-only