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blankseplocked Spruillo: Corp, well uh, something.
 
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Phoenix Aragorn
Posted - 2010.12.18 04:39:00 - [1]
 

Edited by: Phoenix Aragorn on 18/12/2010 04:40:33
Greetings C&P, Me and my WH Corp have had a very, well, interesting day.

We noticed yesterday a set of secure cans on dscan at some safespot, then an imicus started showing up on dscan as well. We hunted the guy and it soon became apparent that he was mining in the imicus.

We where unable to catch him, he disappeared completely as soon as the probes came out.
We finally caught him on a pre bm'd grav site and he warped off literally a second after the stealth bomber uncloaked, but we learned it was a 4 week old toon.

Then this guy started asking questions in local, asking to join, wanted nothing more than to live and mine in w-space, and the gusto and enthusiasm he displayed in mining in an imicus led us to conclude he was indeed a noob, and a quick learner at that.

We finally decided to let him in. If nothing else, we could pod him and be rid. At the very least he could be an early warning if we saw his wreck on dscan.

But we had grown fond of the guy, we gave him shield password for one of the poses, and rights to dump ore into a hangar for which we agreed to add up and pay him for.

I resolved to just give him a couple mil every day, the ore was a joke I wasn't going to bother keeping up with 1k hemorphite, if he stuck around.

And this is where things get weird. Turns out my co-director had used the same password on our secondary pos as the first, which as a small corp normally wouldn't be an issue.
But I log in this morning, land in the MAIN pos, to find myself face to face with...

Spruillo.
In a pod.
In our pos.

As soon as I showed up, he started jabbering in local, just sitting there, in his pod.
Asking 'where the white women are.'
Commenting on our setups. Need more lazers on our Minmatar tower.
Begging us to recruit him as pos gunner for 'When the Russians come.'
This went on for over 6 hours.

We asked him to leave, he informed us that he liked it here.
My corpie made a lame attempt to bump him out, he set orbit around a hardener.

We considered dropping shields but thought it unwise, I removed the 1 role given our new member, obviously his alt, and we hunted him, and he was as slippery as the day before.
More members logged on, and we bubbled and manned the 2 exits, all with Spruillo jabbering away in local like an idiot.

And then, as I was finally considering petitioning for help or resigning to living with him until downtime, he simply disappeared.
Along with his imicus alt without showing up in our exit camps or dscan for 3 hours now, and the ordeal is apparently over.

So, please watch out for Spruillo, the Corp... something. We are not really sure yet or what to tell you what to watch out for, but we are sure you will know for yourselves when it happens.


Alara IonStorm
Caldari
Posted - 2010.12.18 04:55:00 - [2]
 

Threadline

Great Spruillo strikes fear into the hearts of Wormholers everywhere with his Battle Imicus of Mining. Estimated cost of Therapy from the operation is in the billions.

Will nothing or no one who isn't Lady Spank stop him. Preliminary reports of smack talk are still coming in.

Alara live on the scene!

Zeta Zhul
Caldari
Preemptive Paranoia
Posted - 2010.12.18 05:04:00 - [3]
 

Guessing POS password is ... 12345!

Phoenix Aragorn
Posted - 2010.12.18 05:06:00 - [4]
 

Edited by: Phoenix Aragorn on 18/12/2010 05:40:48


I have to add, the secure cans are gone too. The pod, the imicus, the cans, nothing.
We have 6 guys most of whom have been on all evening, and all of which watch dscan religiously. Both exits are bubbled. Both toons have logged on and off during this time and we catch nothing on dscan. They are not here.

Originally by: Alara IonStorm

Therapy


Yes, please. I just feel so.. weird and violated.


edit- The new guy shows up in dodixie, still in an imicus






captain foivos
Posted - 2010.12.18 06:13:00 - [5]
 


Spruillo
Gallente
Spruillo Corp
Posted - 2010.12.18 07:38:00 - [6]
 

Edited by: Spruillo on 18/12/2010 07:41:14
Originally by: Alara IonStorm
Lady Spank



SHE WON BCAUSE I HAD A WEEK SPOT FOR DRUNK CHICKS, WHICH I NO LONGER HAVE
NO LONGER HAVING AN ACHILLES HEAL, I AM INVINCIBLe


*edit spelling typing in the dark

Alara IonStorm
Caldari
Posted - 2010.12.18 08:04:00 - [7]
 

Originally by: Spruillo
INVINCIBLe

Thats right, with a little e mother****er!

Dirk Decartes
Caldari Provisions
Posted - 2010.12.18 08:37:00 - [8]
 

If I didn't know any better I'd say that this whole topic is/was premeditated, fictional, and without a doubt fabricated. Typical of Spruillo related posts and topics.

Ofc, though I know better, and after reviewing the previous Spruillo related topics and postings, I know that what I believe to be happening could never be the case...

Embarassed


kiki mo
Suddenly Ninjas
Posted - 2010.12.18 21:50:00 - [9]
 

Originally by: Dirk Decartes
If I didn't know any better I'd say that this whole topic is/was premeditated, fictional, and without a doubt fabricated. Typical of Spruillo related posts and topics.

Ofc, though I know better, and after reviewing the previous Spruillo related topics and postings, I know that what I believe to be happening could never be the case...

Embarassed





LOL that brings to mind the debate about undocking with a red outside the station (I'll paraphrase)

Xenuria: we need to ascertain his motives, and [blah blah blah psychobabble]
Spruillo: maybe he just wants to shoot us


Aiwha
Caldari
101st Space Marine Force
Nulli Secunda
Posted - 2010.12.19 04:11:00 - [10]
 

Originally by: Phoenix Aragorn


Spruillo.
In a pod.
In our pos.






Started laughing here.

LeoniaTavira
Violent Alternatives
C0NVICTED
Posted - 2010.12.19 04:44:00 - [11]
 

Did you not think of changing the password and launching him out of the POS?

Soldarius
Caldari
Peek-A-Boo Bombers
Posted - 2010.12.19 05:03:00 - [12]
 

Originally by: LeoniaTavira
Did you not think of changing the password and launching him out of the POS?


^this

Meridith Akesia
Stimulus
Posted - 2010.12.19 05:18:00 - [13]
 

I laughed so hard i spilt my coffee Very Happy

Phoenix Aragorn
Posted - 2010.12.19 05:38:00 - [14]
 

Originally by: LeoniaTavira
Did you not think of changing the password and launching him out of the POS?


TBH, No, I didn't. When we where setting up we had PW snafu's and one of our out-of-corp guys bounced off the shield and got his tengu shot up. Over a bil ISK mods and nothing dropped.

Needless to say, things just 'work' and I am very trepadacious about tampering.

I have a thought, having read some background that a Lady Spank had a run-in with this fellow and procured his corpse.

Maybe, she could contract me this corpse.

My resources are of a limited nature and I could not possibly afford mercinaries to bring this miscreant to justice, but should she possibly find it in her heart to part with it for a small, reasonable sum, maybe the healing could begin, and I could put this whole ordeal behind me.

OpusDai
Posted - 2010.12.19 08:56:00 - [15]
 

Originally by: Phoenix Aragorn
Edited by: Phoenix Aragorn on 18/12/2010 04:40:33
Greetings C&P, Me and my WH Corp have had a very, well, interesting day.


Then this guy started asking questions in local,


I am new here, I thought WH's didn't have local chat?

Helios Black
Viziam
Posted - 2010.12.19 09:13:00 - [16]
 

Originally by: OpusDai
Originally by: Phoenix Aragorn
Edited by: Phoenix Aragorn on 18/12/2010 04:40:33
Greetings C&P, Me and my WH Corp have had a very, well, interesting day.


Then this guy started asking questions in local,


I am new here, I thought WH's didn't have local chat?


They do, people just don't show up in them as far as I know. (Don't do WH stuff so I could be completely wrong.)

Dan Teufel
Posted - 2010.12.19 09:37:00 - [17]
 

Originally by: OpusDai
Originally by: Phoenix Aragorn
Edited by: Phoenix Aragorn on 18/12/2010 04:40:33
Greetings C&P, Me and my WH Corp have had a very, well, interesting day.


Then this guy started asking questions in local,


I am new here, I thought WH's didn't have local chat?


They do. They have a so-called 'delayed local'. This means you only show up in local if you actually say something.

OneTimeAt BannedSpank
Amarr
Trillionaire High-Rollers Suicidal Bassoon Orkesta
Posted - 2010.12.19 18:09:00 - [18]
 

Originally by: Spruillo
Edited by: Spruillo on 18/12/2010 07:41:14
Originally by: Alara IonStorm
Lady Spank



SHE WON BCAUSE I HAD A WEEK SPOT FOR DRUNK CHICKS, WHICH I NO LONGER HAVE
NO LONGER HAVING AN ACHILLES HEAL, I AM INVINCIBLe


*edit spelling typing in the dark


I won because you are incompetent.

Birdman Ravo
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Posted - 2010.12.20 00:51:00 - [19]
 

This thread is so hilarious. I've read it 3 times and it's still funny. Keep up the good work.

Phoenix Aragorn
Posted - 2010.12.20 03:28:00 - [20]
 

Originally by: OneTimeAt BannedSpank
Originally by: Spruillo
Edited by: Spruillo on 18/12/2010 07:41:14
Originally by: Alara IonStorm
Lady Spank



SHE WON BCAUSE I HAD A WEEK SPOT FOR DRUNK CHICKS, WHICH I NO LONGER HAVE
NO LONGER HAVING AN ACHILLES HEAL, I AM INVINCIBLe


*edit spelling typing in the dark


I won because you are incompetent.



Lady Spank!

How fortuitous it is that you make appearance here, you are the very person I wished to speak with. Fair lady, let me explain.

I finally got in to see my therapist saturday afternoon, not particularly concerning the afore-mentioned incident, but alas soon the conversation turned from Versace to what was troubling me, and I described the events of the past couple days in detail.

And all I can say, is wow. Simply wow. You see, we uncovered, that I have drifted to New Eden now in adulthood and found in it the symbolic demons of my past. I have, this entire time, been reliving my childhood through Eve.

In Eve, I relived my brutal denial of the security I so desperately needed as a child. Lacking this basic nourishment of well-being, I manifested the satisfaction of my deprivation with my POS.

You see, my therapist uncovered how the shields of this POS where my 'Safe place', representing my outer-shell I showed the world at large, and within which I hid and secured my inner-child, the 'No' place.

Then, Spruillo came and touched me in the 'No' place.

Thus bringing my fairytale world to an end as the reality crashed in upon me and I sat stark naked with the ghosts of the past, all security I had carved for myself evaporated, by the actions of this depraved maniac, Spruillo.

My therapist has unveiled how now I must confront this 'Spruillo', in a symbolic manner, and reclaim the security he so ruthlessly stripped from me.

I must have that corpse. It is the only way. A face-to-face confrontation may prove too much, as the 3 new medications she placed me on have not taken full effect, but his frozen corpse shall suffice.

I shall vent, and rage at it. I shall jettison it outside my 'Safe place', and yell at it. "No, Spruillo! You don't touch me in the No place!" Then I shall shoot it, bringing the release I seek from this childish fantasy world which I now see held me prisoner, to face Real Life in self-secured security.

My need for Eve shall be resolved, and I shall bid New Eden fair-the-well to boldly face the world outside and pursue my lifelong dream of painting life-size portraits of Nelson Mandela.

And having resolved these matters, I shall then contract you my some 13 Billion hard assets I have aquired during my time here- 4 fully officer fit tengues and a protus.

Please, Miss Spank, please help me.




Spruillo
Gallente
Spruillo Corp
Posted - 2010.12.20 03:34:00 - [21]
 


HELL NO YOU GIVE THAT FREAKJOB MY CORPSE UR DEAD MEAT ILL HIRE PANDEMIC LEGIONS
AND YOU FREAKWAD, IM FRIENDS WITH THE RUSSIANS AND I HAVE SCANNER ALTS IN YUR W-SPACE YOU TOUCH MY CORPSE ILL SHOOT U IN THE FACE
IM NOT JOKING EITHER

Darth McDarth
Posted - 2010.12.20 03:40:00 - [22]
 

Edited by: Darth McDarth on 20/12/2010 03:40:22
Originally by: Phoenix Aragorn
... And having resolved these matters, I shall then contract you my some 13 Billion hard assets I have aquired during my time here- 4 fully officer fit tengues and a protus.



WTF IS PROTUS

Aiwha
Caldari
101st Space Marine Force
Nulli Secunda
Posted - 2010.12.20 03:41:00 - [23]
 

Edited by: Aiwha on 20/12/2010 03:48:47
Originally by: Darth McDarth
Edited by: Darth McDarth on 20/12/2010 03:40:22
Originally by: Phoenix Aragorn
... And having resolved these matters, I shall then contract you my some 13 Billion hard assets I have aquired during my time here- 4 fully officer fit tengues and a protus.



WTF IS PROTUS



Ur doin it wrong.

Originally by: captain foivos
WTF IS PROTUS






Anara Lei
Posted - 2010.12.20 03:42:00 - [24]
 

really? like, really really?

Rawrclaw
Posted - 2010.12.20 03:50:00 - [25]
 

He got killed and podded, wreck destroyed by the assilant. End of mystery

Spruillo
Gallente
Spruillo Corp
Posted - 2010.12.21 23:23:00 - [26]
 

Edited by: Spruillo on 21/12/2010 23:26:29
Originally by: Rawrclaw
He got killed and podded, wreck destroyed by the assilant. End of mystery


I slowboated cloakspeed around their stupid camp and left dumbass

TimMc
Brutal Deliverance
Gypsy Band
Posted - 2010.12.22 00:07:00 - [27]
 

wtf is Spruillo?

Alara IonStorm
Caldari
Posted - 2010.12.22 00:13:00 - [28]
 

Edited by: Alara IonStorm on 22/12/2010 00:13:39
Originally by: TimMc
wtf is Spruillo?

We have top Scientologists, experts in there field working around the clock to figure it out.

Best guess so far is Xenu.

Teers Artasti
Posted - 2010.12.22 01:58:00 - [29]
 

Spruillo is all that I apsire to be. To inflict this much mental anguish from the simple act of doing the same thing corp spies have been doing for years... All because of -who- he is... it's inspiring.

Diesel47
Posted - 2010.12.22 13:26:00 - [30]
 

Kids are all getting excited. Settle.


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