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blankseplocked CNR in lowsec: A tale of honour, durp, more durp, and getting screwed.
 
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Lexa HeIIfury
Incura
Posted - 2010.09.29 05:40:00 - [1]
 

Edited by: Lexa HeIIfury on 29/09/2010 06:07:35
Hello C&P! Just when I swore off anything constructive or entertaining ever coming through here again, I have another story to share with you!

The night started innocently enough. A group of 3 friends on a quest to be anti-pirate warlords in the local lowsec pocket. [BOOSH] embarked on our epic journey for the night from the Mara solar system of the Lonetrek region in the honourable war vessels Drake Hurricane and Scimitar.

Shortly after our departure we SMASHED a 5-man dishonourable scumbag pirate gang in the Aurohunen solar system, then proceeded to Tama. On the way we ANNIHILATED a pirate Hurricane that dared to oppose the might of our righteous fury.

Upon finding nothing to shoot in Tama, we proceeded to return to Mara hoping to end our night on a high note. And boy did we ever. Upon jumping into the Uuna solar system and seeing only 1 person in local, I instructed my fleet to jump in, and we proceeded to our outgate, Ishomilken. When we landed on the gate, however, we were greeted by a peculiar sight. A Caldari Navy Raven sitting perfectly still 15km from the gate! After checking his name, Commander Vears, we discover that his namesake was that of a TREACHEROUS PIGDOG IMPERIAL OFFICER from the film The Empire Strikes Back, and that he must in fact be a FILTHY PIRATE IN DISGUISE. As such, we proceeded to anti-pirate him, however, the sentry guns we at a difficult stage in their life where they were confused about their orientation, and proceeded to PK our honourable fleet.

It became quickly apparent that our fleet was not suitable for tanking sentry fire for any considerable amount of time. The CNR pilot came alive and started pirating our ships and reapproaching the gate. He had a considerable amount of tank fit as well, in addition to possibly having PIRATE IMPLANTS and with our minimal neutralizing power we were only very slowly breaking through his tank as first our drones were popped by sentries, then our Scimitar was forced off gate, then our Hurricane, until only my Drake remained. A peculiar thing then happened. With all of our ships but my Drake forced off the gate by gender-confused sentry guns, and my Drake slowly bleeding armour, the CNR pilot offered to pay us 100m to let him go. Great success!

Originally by: Local Chat
Commander Vears > 100m for you guys to let me go?


However, in my surprised state, and in my haste to type in in local to accept his offer, I forgot that my Drake was in armour. While accepting his offer in local chat, I proceeded to lawldie. With no ships left on the field, I tried desperately to salvage the situation.

Originally by: Local Chat
Lexa Hellfury > ok we let you go, send the isk now please
Commander Vears > one sec
Commander Vears > enjoy


WHAT

While we had a good chuckle about it on TS, I proceeded in my capsule back to highsec where CONCORD could protect me from badass PKer griefers in CNRs. On my first jump on my route I found a hilarious sight. The HARDCORE PIRATE CORPORATION FLA5HY RED [FLA5H] had caught our good friend on the other side of the gate we had just honourably released him from! After trying to negotiate a 500m ransom to "200m now, 300m later" (which he very likely would have upheld his end of), CNR down!. Mere minutes after paying a ransom after he had escaped a gang he died to another.

Chatting with him afterwards it turned out he misplaced one character while typing the name of of destination and never bothered to double check before hitting autopilot. The moral of the story is: Bring 2 Scimitars and more neutralizers.

Lana Torrin
Brutor Tribe
Posted - 2010.09.29 05:48:00 - [2]
 

Originally by: Lexa HeIIfury

Upon finding nothing to shoot in Tama


OK I'm still reading.. But WUT?!

Lexa HeIIfury
Incura
Posted - 2010.09.29 05:51:00 - [3]
 

Originally by: Lana Torrin
Originally by: Lexa HeIIfury

Upon finding nothing to shoot in Tama


OK I'm still reading.. But WUT?!



Nothing to shoot...nothing engagable...same thing.

Lana Torrin
Brutor Tribe
Posted - 2010.09.29 05:53:00 - [4]
 

Originally by: Lexa HeIIfury
Originally by: Lana Torrin
Originally by: Lexa HeIIfury

Upon finding nothing to shoot in Tama


OK I'm still reading.. But WUT?!



Nothing to shoot...nothing engagable...same thing.


THATS more like the Tama I know and love..

Also that's a great read! Lexa's gona be boozing it up on pirate scum isk tonight!

Otto Jarvis
Caldari
Pod Liberation Authority
Posted - 2010.09.29 05:59:00 - [5]
 

Confirming that we were the benefactors of someone's autopilot woes.

Thanks for the mention Lexa. o7

Jeron kahyar
Minmatar
Incura
Posted - 2010.09.29 06:08:00 - [6]
 

Good Story but I still was content on my mining that night until an Evil dooer (Lexa Hellfury) ruined my peaceful mining op.

Lana Torrin
Brutor Tribe
Posted - 2010.09.29 06:10:00 - [7]
 

Originally by: Jeron kahyar
Good Story but I still was content on my mining that night until an Evil dooer (Lexa Hellfury) ruined my peaceful mining op.


Learn2Hulk.

Lexa HeIIfury
Incura
Posted - 2010.09.29 06:11:00 - [8]
 

Originally by: Jeron kahyar
Good Story but I still was content on my mining that night until an Evil dooer (Lexa Hellfury) ruined my peaceful mining op.


If you had just paid the ransom we would have been on our way.

Jeron kahyar
Minmatar
Incura
Posted - 2010.09.29 06:13:00 - [9]
 

Originally by: Lana Torrin
Originally by: Jeron kahyar
Good Story but I still was content on my mining that night until an Evil dooer (Lexa Hellfury) ruined my peaceful mining op.


Learn2Hulk.



This would all but make his triumph greater. Minstrels would sing songs in his honor.

Lexa HeIIfury
Incura
Posted - 2010.09.29 06:15:00 - [10]
 

Originally by: Jeron kahyar
Originally by: Lana Torrin
Originally by: Jeron kahyar
Good Story but I still was content on my mining that night until an Evil dooer (Lexa Hellfury) ruined my peaceful mining op.


Learn2Hulk.



This would all but make his triumph greater. Minstrels would sing songs in his honor.


Wait Lexa's a guy IRL? Also I don't know what a minstrel is, but I'm pretty sure they already do.

Jeron kahyar
Minmatar
Incura
Posted - 2010.09.29 06:16:00 - [11]
 

Edited by: Jeron kahyar on 29/09/2010 06:18:23
Originally by: Lexa HeIIfury
Originally by: Jeron kahyar
Originally by: Lana Torrin
Originally by: Jeron kahyar
Good Story but I still was content on my mining that night until an Evil dooer (Lexa Hellfury) ruined my peaceful mining op.


Learn2Hulk.



This would all but make his triumph greater. Minstrels would sing songs in his honor.


Wait Lexa's a guy IRL? Also I don't know what a minstrel is, but I'm pretty sure they already do.


A minstrel was a medieval European bard who performed songs whose lyrics told stories about distant places or about real or imaginary historical events. ...

learn to Google.

P.S they may look like this

Lexa HeIIfury
Incura
Posted - 2010.09.29 06:18:00 - [12]
 

Originally by: Jeron kahyar

learn to Google.


I would but that would interrupt my f5ing of this thread.

Jeron kahyar
Minmatar
Incura
Posted - 2010.09.29 06:19:00 - [13]
 

Edited by: Jeron kahyar on 29/09/2010 06:25:00
Originally by: Lexa HeIIfury

I would but that would interrupt my f5ing of this thread.


So this is how you get your read count up....

Also just noticed your name is Lexa He2Fury

SFX Bladerunner
Minmatar
Aperture Science inc.
Posted - 2010.09.29 08:10:00 - [14]
 

Originally by: Jeron kahyar

A minstrel was a medieval European bard who performed songs whose lyrics told stories about distant places or about real or imaginary historical events. ...

learn to Google.

P.S they may look like this


They are still around today, although in lesser numbers:

minstrel

Mutnin
Amarr
Mutineers
Posted - 2010.09.29 09:37:00 - [15]
 

Funny story.. sounds like his first PVP experience. He likely made a wrong turn and was trying to figure out where to go.. lol

I caught a Hulk in a low sec belt one night and proceeded to put him into armor before offering a ransom. He actually paid as his ship entered warp and escaped.

The damn thing was stabbed, but I put him in Armor so quick I guess it scared the ISK right out of them.. Razz

Creepy CousinRoger
Posted - 2010.09.29 11:26:00 - [16]
 

Nice story, sounds like a fun night.

I'd like to hear it from the perspective of the CNR pilot. I'm curious what he was doing in low sec, apparently AFK at a gate with no scout?

Jack Norris
Caldari
Caldari Provisions
Posted - 2010.09.29 12:25:00 - [17]
 

The name is Veer, not Vears

Missus Malaprop
Posted - 2010.09.29 12:31:00 - [18]
 

WOW, you killed 4 ships! Def postworthy.

Dr Cron
Northern Lights Number 5
Hydroponic Zone
Posted - 2010.09.29 13:05:00 - [19]
 

Edited by: Dr Cron on 29/09/2010 13:06:22
nevermind you already mentioned it

Azael Lightshade
Amarr
V i L e
Posted - 2010.09.29 15:23:00 - [20]
 

Edited by: Azael Lightshade on 29/09/2010 15:27:45

You have to see the irony in this story.

The gang was seeking pirates as they were anti-pirates. Then the one person who makes center-stage of the story, was actually not a pirate at all (having fitted a complete PvE setup on the CNR and not below -5 security status). Instead of letting the non-pirate go, they viciously attacked him, lost security status and successfully ransomed him for 100million ISK upon losing a ship that prob cost around 100 million fully fitted with tech 2 gear. On top of that, the ship they ransomed was let go after the ransom was paid and was ultimately destroyed by the real pirates of the story. So the anti-pirates actually soften up the non-pirate -- the pilots they are supposed to be protecting -- to be destroyed by the actual pirates in a neighboring system. Classic!

Irony? Yes... Anti-pirates are more pirate than actual pirates. YARRRR!!

Jarek Kalensa
FLA5HY RED
The Defenders of Pen Island
Posted - 2010.09.29 15:33:00 - [21]
 

Edited by: Jarek Kalensa on 29/09/2010 15:34:15
You should have asked for more than 100m, and he should have paid the 500m.

Everyone else 0, Flashy Red 1. YARRRR!!

Killmail

Kisdis
Posted - 2010.09.29 15:58:00 - [22]
 

Originally by: Azael Lightshade
Edited by: Azael Lightshade on 29/09/2010 15:27:45

You have to see the irony in this story.

The gang was seeking pirates as they were anti-pirates. Then the one person who makes center-stage of the story, was actually not a pirate at all (having fitted a complete PvE setup on the CNR and not below -5 security status). Instead of letting the non-pirate go, they viciously attacked him, lost security status and successfully ransomed him for 100million ISK upon losing a ship that prob cost around 100 million fully fitted with tech 2 gear. On top of that, the ship they ransomed was let go after the ransom was paid and was ultimately destroyed by the real pirates of the story. So the anti-pirates actually soften up the non-pirate -- the pilots they are supposed to be protecting -- to be destroyed by the actual pirates in a neighboring system. Classic!

Irony? Yes... Anti-pirates are more pirate than actual pirates. YARRRR!!


/feedsTroll

You missed the "tongue and check" in the OP. Your reading comprehension is bit low to miss such obviousness, but then again here I am feeding your troll post.

Azael Lightshade
Amarr
V i L e
Posted - 2010.09.29 18:39:00 - [23]
 

Edited by: Azael Lightshade on 29/09/2010 18:40:12
Originally by: Kisdis


/feedsTroll

You missed the "tongue and check" in the OP. Your reading comprehension is bit low to miss such obviousness, but then again here I am feeding your troll post.


Tongue and check? Idea

I understood the purpose and didn't miss the so called "tongue-in-cheek" figure of speech. Maybe you just misunderstood my post as you misunderstood the reasoning behind what you're slinging. Because if anything, I was being tongue-in-cheek about it! YARRRR!!

Simon Mickey
Posted - 2010.09.29 22:26:00 - [24]
 

Given that I wasn't present I can only surmise that Jeron was infact the scimitar.
Congratulations on logistics V and I hope you remember to fit the right ECCM~~~ Very HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery Happy

Jeron kahyar
Minmatar
Incura
Posted - 2010.09.30 02:06:00 - [25]
 

Originally by: Simon Mickey
Given that I wasn't present I can only surmise that Jeron was infact the scimitar.
Congratulations on logistics V and I hope you remember to fit the right ECCM~~~ Very HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery Happy


It in fact was me in the Scimitar however the "gender-confused sentry guns" would not leave me alone for one second in that fight...

Lana Torrin
Brutor Tribe
Posted - 2010.09.30 03:56:00 - [26]
 

Originally by: Simon Mickey
Given that I wasn't present I can only surmise that Jeron was infact the scimitar.
Congratulations on logistics V and I hope you remember to fit the right ECCM~~~ Very HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery Happy


You get sexier and sexier every time you open your mouth...

Lexa HeIIfury
Incura
Posted - 2010.09.30 06:26:00 - [27]
 

Originally by: Simon Mickey
Given that I wasn't present I can only surmise that Jeron was infact the scimitar.
Congratulations on logistics V and I hope you remember to fit the right ECCM~~~ Very HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery Happy


For some reason this reminded me of Nrom making fun of Intigo on the genos forums for excessive smiley use.

Gilgamesh1980
The Black Rabbits
The Gurlstas Associates
Posted - 2010.09.30 11:53:00 - [28]
 

nice story and glad to see Fla5hy red getting a decent kill

Otto Jarvis
Caldari
Pod Liberation Authority
Posted - 2010.09.30 12:46:00 - [29]
 

Its been a fun first month.

How is it going camping with United in Sinq Laison?

Comrade Comrade
Posted - 2010.09.30 13:37:00 - [30]
 

Great post, wonderfully written. Double props on successfully spotting the DREAD PIRATE IN DISGUISE. Lolled hard.

Congrats on the ransom
YARRRR!!


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