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blankseplocked A grave injustice has been committed against The Python Cartel
 
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Golden Helmet
Caldari
The Python Cartel.
The Defenders of Pen Island
Posted - 2010.07.21 20:16:00 - [1]
 

Edited by: Golden Helmet on 21/07/2010 21:14:40
Some of you may know us. We are The Python Cartel. We are renowned far and wide for our relentless torrent of smacktalk wherever we go, our complete and utter lack of skill, our intense nano***gotry, the fact that we learned everything we know from Carebear Stare, and that we don't fly real ships.

Some may know us for these things, but above all else, we are known far and wide for our fanatical devotion to the male genitalia. To us, it represents love, fidelity, joy, and fertility. To us, the male genitalia is a sacred and holy symbol, one to which we have pledged our full and unwavering devotion. Indeed, we are a most pure corp, dedicated to the worship of male genitalia, and it is for this that we are known.

Recently, one of our divine visionaries decided that the object of our intense devotion needed a fitting monument. Through our intense labor, a fitting monument was erected. The most holy monument was approximately 150km from top to bottom, and 50km wide at the shaft. Truly, it was a most epic display.

However, the male genitalia Gods were not pleased. They smote down our erected monument, and told us to build another. They said our old one was too small and too flimsy, the new one had to be grand and mighty. It had to be something that people would come from far and wide to witness.

We all buckled down and obeyed our Gods. Who are we to question their judgement? We set to work in building what can only be described as the greatest work of art in the entire history of mankind. In record quick speed, the holy knights of The Python Cartel erected the GREATEST display of love and fertility in human history.

Our latest display was immense. From the very top to the very bottom, it was 500km. The shaft was 100km wide. The head was 100km from tip to shaft. The shaft itself, from sack to head, was 270km. The gods were most pleased, as were the Pythons.

There was much celebration. Pythons danced merrily under the watchful erection of their holy monument. We even had races to see who could get from tip to balls the fastest! But, clouds were gathering on the horizon... you see, The Python Cartel has an arch nemesis, one that feeds on our sorrows and devours our babies whole. Our arch-nemesis has a soul as black as space, and exists only to torment our just and pure Pythons.

Our Arch-Nemesis is... CCP.

You see, CCP is run by people with no genitals. They are incapable of love, joy, and reproduction, and breed only by cloning and assimilation of hamsters. To CCP, our majestic display of love and fertility is an affront, because it is something they will never have.

Earlier today, our home was ransacked by the evil soldiers from CCP. They intruded in to our system, they devoured our latest batch of young, they stole our loot, and then, in a final crushing blow, they destroyed every last piece of our monument!

We, The Python Cartel, are devastated. We don't know if we can go on. How can we go on, with a genitalless tyrant like CCP lurking in the shadows, destroying our sacred monuments and devouring our young? I urge you, noble citizens of C&P, stand beside The Python Cartel during our time of need. Show us the love and compassion that you are renowned for, and help us stand up against the tyrants who would oppose us simply because we were born with genitals and are capable of feeling love. I implore you, do not abandon us in our time of need.


Thank you for reading. I do hope that our misfortune will warn others to the danger that CCP poses. Lock your doors, shut your windows, and hide your young. When the soldiers of CCP come knocking, tell them that you, too, have no genitals. Perhaps, they will leave you alone.

~Golden Helmet
Architect, CEO, The Python Cartel

Inappropriate links removed. Zymurgist

^ Because of him, if anyone wants to see pics, please mail me in-game. The monument is a truly epic sight.

Bfoster
Appetite 4 Destruction
Posted - 2010.07.21 20:18:00 - [2]
 

Originally by: Golden Helmet
Some of you may know us. We are The Python Cartel. We are renowned far and wide for our relentless torrent of smacktalk wherever we go, our complete and utter lack of skill, our intense nano***gotry, the fact that we learned everything we know from Carebear Stare, and that we don't fly real ships.

Some may know us for these things, but above all else, we are known far and wide for our fanatical devotion to the male genitalia. To us, it represents love, fidelity, joy, and fertility. To us, the male genitalia is a sacred and holy symbol, one to which we have pledged our full and unwavering devotion. Indeed, we are a most pure corp, dedicated to the worship of male genitalia, and it is for this that we are known.

Recently, one of our divine visionaries decided that the object of our intense devotion needed a fitting monument. Through our intense labor, a fitting monument was erected. The most holy monument was approximately 150km from top to bottom, and 50km wide at the shaft. Truly, it was a most epic display.

However, the male genitalia Gods were not pleased. They smote down our erected monument, and told us to build another. They said our old one was too small and too flimsy, the new one had to be grand and mighty. It had to be something that people would come from far and wide to witness.

We all buckled down and obeyed our Gods. Who are we to question their judgement? We set to work in building what can only be described as the greatest work of art in the entire history of mankind. In record quick speed, the holy knights of The Python Cartel erected the GREATEST display of love and fertility in human history.

Our latest display was immense. From the very top to the very bottom, it was 500km. The shaft was 100km wide. The head was 100km from tip to shaft. The shaft itself, from sack to head, was 270km. The gods were most pleased, as were the Pythons.

There was much celebration. Pythons danced merrily under the watchful erection of their holy monument. We even had races to see who could get from tip to balls the fastest! But, clouds were gathering on the horizon... you see, The Python Cartel has an arch nemesis, one that feeds on our sorrows and devours our babies whole. Our arch-nemesis has a soul as black as space, and exists only to torment our just and pure Pythons.

Our Arch-Nemesis is... CCP.

You see, CCP is run by people with no genitals. They are incapable of love, joy, and reproduction, and breed only by cloning and assimilation of hamsters. To CCP, our majestic display of love and fertility is an affront, because it is something they will never have.

Earlier today, our home was ransacked by the evil soldiers from CCP. They intruded in to our system, they devoured our latest batch of young, they stole our loot, and then, in a final crushing blow, they destroyed every last piece of our monument!

We, The Python Cartel, are devastated. We don't know if we can go on. How can we go on, with a genitalless tyrant like CCP lurking in the shadows, destroying our sacred monuments and devouring our young? I urge you, noble citizens of C&P, stand beside The Python Cartel during our time of need. Show us the love and compassion that you are renowned for, and help us stand up against the tyrants who would oppose us simply because we were born with genitals and are capable of feeling love. I implore you, do not abandon us in our time of need.


Thank you for reading. I do hope that our misfortune will warn others to the danger that CCP poses. Lock your doors, shut your windows, and hide your young. When the soldiers of CCP come knocking, tell them that you, too, have no genitals. Perhaps, they will leave you alone.

~Golden Helmet
Architect, CEO, The Python Cartel

Inappropriate links removed. Zymurgist




Sad

Intense Thinker
Minmatar
Posted - 2010.07.21 20:22:00 - [3]
 

CCP will have to pay for this latest outrage Evil or Very Mad

Jesslyn Daggererux
Interstellar Brotherhood of Gravediggers
The 0rphanage
Posted - 2010.07.21 20:30:00 - [4]
 

are you for hire to do a phallus in a selected system?

Golden Helmet
Caldari
The Python Cartel.
The Defenders of Pen Island
Posted - 2010.07.21 20:43:00 - [5]
 

Originally by: Jesslyn Daggererux
are you for hire to do a phallus in a selected system?

I've already been warnedCrying or Very sad

Jesslyn Daggererux
Interstellar Brotherhood of Gravediggers
The 0rphanage
Posted - 2010.07.21 20:52:00 - [6]
 

Originally by: Golden Helmet
Originally by: Jesslyn Daggererux
are you for hire to do a phallus in a selected system?

I've already been warnedCrying or Very sad

okay you have been warned about phalli, but what about the 'delicate flower'? stay with me for a second. like a crossed out 'flower', if you will.

Golden Helmet
Caldari
The Python Cartel.
The Defenders of Pen Island
Posted - 2010.07.21 21:04:00 - [7]
 

Originally by: Golden Helmet

Inappropriate links removed. Zymurgist



You see that? You see him repressing me? Do you see what us Pythons have to deal with on a daily basis? Turn the fire hose on us, why don't youCrying or Very sad

Jaxxon Voers
The Scope
Posted - 2010.07.21 21:04:00 - [8]
 

Indeed, there has been much lamenting and gnashing of teeth (which is not a good thing, btw) here at Python.

You should not tempt the Phallic One. He may striketh thee with flaccidity.

Surely a corporation who proudly proclaims the merits of Hardening TF Up, would also appreciate the sight of a monument such as this being erected.


Intense Thinker
Minmatar
Posted - 2010.07.21 21:05:00 - [9]
 

Originally by: Golden Helmet
Originally by: Golden Helmet

Inappropriate links removed. Zymurgist



You see that? You see him repressing me? Do you see what us Pythons have to deal with on a daily basis? Turn the fire hose on us, why don't youCrying or Very sad



It's ok, we'll pants him at fanfest

The Crushah
Gallente
Stimulus
Rote Kapelle
Posted - 2010.07.21 21:18:00 - [10]
 

Gentlemen,

I salute your salute to the tally-whacker, and we here at Death of Virtue feel your pain. We would like to offer Decon as an alternative system to erect (heh heh heh) your turgid monument.

I await your response with throbbing anticipation.



Jasen Too
Interstellar Relief Committee
Posted - 2010.07.21 21:22:00 - [11]
 

Win of this caliber is witnessed quite seldom. I salute you.

o7

Ran Khanon
Amarr
Swords Horses and Heavy Metal
Posted - 2010.07.21 21:41:00 - [12]
 

This is a sad state of affairs. Envy must be the source of this senseless destruction. Yet our religious and artistic freedom is at stake. CCP should take an example to this fine example of a work of art in a public space depicting a gnome with a butt plug (Rotterdam, Holland).

Luckily the Icelandic Phallological Museum happens to be conveniently nearby for the CCP staff to take an educational outing.

jimmyjam
Gallente
Sinner Among Saints
Exquisite Malevolence
Posted - 2010.07.21 21:43:00 - [13]
 

Its really a shame when you can,t erect pieces of art shaped like a *****.I guess ccp thinks its ok that corps/alliances spam systems with there cans offering there care bear pipe dreams.Twisted Evil

Aestetica
Final Agony
B A N E
Posted - 2010.07.21 21:49:00 - [14]
 

Our society and culture is not ready for such visionary artists it seems. At least not the closed minded. Indeed those of us speaking out against such artist repression in this thread should be perceived as the elite, the ones deciding what is art and what is not. The ones deciding what our society is ready for.

SkwisgaarSkwigelf
Deliciously Vicious
Posted - 2010.07.21 21:54:00 - [15]
 

I find this needless act of censorship hateful and destructive to the larger new eden community. Stand erect and proud in your fight against injustice, never stop thrusting your artistic vision into ccp's soulless sight.



VicturusTeSaluto
Gallente
Metafarmers
MeatSausage EXPRESS
Posted - 2010.07.21 21:58:00 - [16]
 

Edited by: VicturusTeSaluto on 21/07/2010 21:58:43
CCP = like ken dolls. So is Ken Plante.

JonnY JohnStone
Posted - 2010.07.21 22:06:00 - [17]
 

Remember eve is a player driven game where anything goes..

CCP Adida


C C P
C C P Alliance
Posted - 2010.07.21 22:40:00 - [18]
 

Inappropriate link removed.

Owen Drakkar
Bad...Karma
Posted - 2010.07.21 22:42:00 - [19]
 

Originally by: CCP Adida
Inappropriate link removed.


Razz

Fergus Meikleour
Gallente
The Scope
Posted - 2010.07.21 22:47:00 - [20]
 

CCP obviously hate fun

Apoctasy
Lethal Injection.
Hedonistic Imperative
Posted - 2010.07.21 22:50:00 - [21]
 

CONSEQUENCES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME

Dirk Magnum
Blue Republic
RvB - BLUE Republic
Posted - 2010.07.21 22:56:00 - [22]
 

nuts lol

Nicolai Martov
Posted - 2010.07.21 22:57:00 - [23]
 

http://i19.tinypic.com/642ktj5.jpg

CCP's afraid of a little phallic symbology in its game? Sad to see they've gone down hill.

Golden Helmet
Caldari
The Python Cartel.
The Defenders of Pen Island
Posted - 2010.07.21 23:21:00 - [24]
 

Originally by: CCP Adida
Inappropriate link removed.

Why must you oppress us? We just want to worship the male genitalia in peace. We're no threat to youCrying or Very sad

Xereyn
Posted - 2010.07.21 23:23:00 - [25]
 

Perhaps CCP are just seeking a less outdated aesthetic for in-game art. Large-scale phallic representations are so five thousand years ago.

The Crushah
Gallente
Stimulus
Rote Kapelle
Posted - 2010.07.21 23:42:00 - [26]
 

Originally by: Golden Helmet
Originally by: CCP Adida
Inappropriate link removed.

Why must you oppress us? We just want to worship the male genitalia in peace. We're no threat to youCrying or Very sad



Perhaps its the impressive size of your erection that they are afraid of.

Hey this is fun: Tally-Whacker, johnson, purple headed warrior. None of this stuff is caught by the filter! Razz

Mitsune Konno
Posted - 2010.07.22 00:00:00 - [27]
 

Originally by: The Crushah
Originally by: Golden Helmet
Originally by: CCP Adida
Inappropriate link removed.

Why must you oppress us? We just want to worship the male genitalia in peace. We're no threat to youCrying or Very sad



Perhaps its the impressive size of your erection that they are afraid of.

Hey this is fun: Tally-Whacker, johnson, purple headed warrior. None of this stuff is caught by the filter! Razz

wang, bat and ball, banana, beaver buster, meat missile, beefy mcmanstick, one-eyed snake, blue-veined jackhammer, crotch cobra, dong, ...



but yeah, clearly ccp appreciates innuendo and euphemisms. How else can you explain the Phobos and pretty much every amarr ship.

Gladys Pank
Amarr
Trillionaire High-Rollers Suicidal Bassoon Orkesta
Posted - 2010.07.22 00:25:00 - [28]
 

I find CCP's lack of balls disgusting.

Intense Thinker
Minmatar
Posted - 2010.07.22 00:34:00 - [29]
 

Edited by: Intense Thinker on 22/07/2010 00:34:21
Originally by: Mitsune Konno
Originally by: The Crushah
Originally by: Golden Helmet
Originally by: CCP Adida
Inappropriate link removed.

Why must you oppress us? We just want to worship the male genitalia in peace. We're no threat to youCrying or Very sad



Perhaps its the impressive size of your erection that they are afraid of.

Hey this is fun: Tally-Whacker, johnson, purple headed warrior. None of this stuff is caught by the filter! Razz

wang, bat and ball, banana, beaver buster, meat missile, beefy mcmanstick, one-eyed snake, blue-veined jackhammer, crotch cobra, dong, ...



but yeah, clearly ccp appreciates innuendo and euphemisms. How else can you explain the Phobos and pretty much every amarr ship.


Richard! Very Happy

Harrigan VonStudly
Original Sin.
Underworld Excavators
Posted - 2010.07.22 01:30:00 - [30]
 

The only name for it that the filters won't catch that is worthy in c&p is peach hair splitting pirate peg. Heard this term used in a song years ago and is one of my all time favorites.


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