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blankseplocked 'Twas The Night Before Hulkageddon
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Posted - 2010.07.12 17:48:00 - [1]

Edited by: Algerave on 12/07/2010 17:48:32
'Twas the night before Hulkageddon
And all through the belt
Hulks were strip mining
For ore they would smelt

Their macros were set
And running with care
In the hopes that no piwates
Would ever be there

The miners were happy
AFK in their pods
Browsing the markets
For more faction mods

And I in my Thorax
My alt off to bed
Was browsing new implants
To plug in my head

When out of the stars
There appeared in local
Three pirate catalysts
Full of pirates most vocal

Out of the station
I undocked with flash
And into a freighter
I almost did crash

I warped to the belt
30KM or so
I sat back and relaxed
Prepared for the show

When to my delight
Three catalysts did show
With three pirate gankers
Full of intentions quite low

They rushed for the miners
And taunted them by name
Shouting battlecries, memes,
And vulgarity as they came

“For fun and for laughter”
“For Joy and good cheer”
“For lulz and for rage”
“But most important: for tears”

To the edge of the belt!
To the first miner hull!
And not one warped away
To which I said “lul”

As bricks in mud
The miners did sit
Oh when they return
They will surely talk ****

So up to the first Hulk
The gankers did fly
And in 3 seconds flat
He lit up the sky

And then in a twinkling
I saw in local chat
The ponderings of a miner
“lol wut was that?”

As a miner’s head turned
His hulk swinging round
The pirates descended
Like a pack of hellhounds

The Hulk was fitted all for mining
Not a tank to be found
While his high slots were filled
With riches abound

The next miner sat
As he had all day
He looked like a moron
Just mining away

The blasters – how they twinkled!
The fires – how they shone!
As the third miner died
The gankers screamed “0wned!”

The fourth miner turned
Aligning the ship’s bow
When a scrambler did catch him
And he yelled “im leaving eve for wow”

The gankers did have
The Hulk in their teeth
And the loss did cause him
To ragequit in grief

The last miner’s Hulk
Was trying to run
But the gankers pursued
“Quick, last one!”

His Hulk was aligned!
His warp drive set!
But these were no gankers
Like he’d ever met

With a flash of their guns
And his warp drives dead
His carebear heart
Was filled with dread

They spoke not a word
And finished their work
As the last miner QQ’ed
“at east im not uh dork”

And as CONCORD arrived
To even the score
I couldn’t keep from posting

They sprang from the wrecks
Their pods lightning quick
And congratulated each other

As they warped out they cried
“Here’s to miners with no tank”
“A Merry Hulkageddon to all”
“And to all, a good gank!”

Posted - 2010.07.12 18:16:00 - [2]

I lol'ed Razz

Posted - 2010.07.16 12:30:00 - [3]

funniest thing ive seen on eve so far Laughing

Epic Guy
Posted - 2010.07.16 13:57:00 - [4]

haha that is indeed awesome :)

Dirk Magnum
Blue Republic
RvB - BLUE Republic
Posted - 2010.07.18 00:03:00 - [5]

Best prize!

Orar Ironfist
Veto Corp
Posted - 2010.07.18 00:18:00 - [6]

Liked that alotVery Happy

James Arget
Future Corps
Sleeper Social Club
Posted - 2010.07.18 03:11:00 - [7]

Bravo! Great composition!

RoCkEt X
Posted - 2010.07.18 10:07:00 - [8]

lol, in 6 years of eve, this has gotta be the best one :)

brilliant! LOL :D

Miregar Shakor
Posted - 2010.07.19 06:13:00 - [9]

Awesome!Very Happy

Posted - 2010.07.20 19:41:00 - [10]

Love it.

Cpt Jagermeister
United Systems Navy
Wildly Inappropriate.
Posted - 2010.07.20 23:40:00 - [11]


Shade Millith
Macabre Votum
Morsus Mihi
Posted - 2010.07.21 08:58:00 - [12]

I like, I like alot!

Posted - 2010.07.22 06:17:00 - [13]

Very good job.

Robbie napier
Posted - 2010.08.05 13:51:00 - [14]

lol grat workLaughing

SI Radio
Split Infinity.
Posted - 2010.08.05 16:46:00 - [15]

That was simply awesome :) Good job

Posted - 2010.09.19 17:10:00 - [16]

very good poem.i was laughing as i read it in the eve context.i look forward to a lotmore of those from buddy

Posted - 2010.09.19 19:25:00 - [17]

You have made me cry laughing. I salute you.

Sacred Templars
Posted - 2010.09.21 22:46:00 - [18]

lol, this is pro :)


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