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CCP Dropbear

Posted - 2010.06.29 01:10:00 - [31]
 

The slogans are epic, have to agree with Jasonitas. Laughing

Baillif
AQUILA INC
Posted - 2010.06.29 01:50:00 - [32]
 

Edited by: Baillif on 29/06/2010 02:08:51
Quafe+ Because you are what you drink!
Quafe+ Now approved for human consumption!
Quafe+ The drink that eats like a meal!
Quafe+ The best part is our people!
Quafe+ The taste of a lifetime!

Glowstix
Broski Enterprises
Posted - 2010.06.29 02:19:00 - [33]
 

Way to tease us about salvage drones :(

Awesome chron! You should write more of 'em Very Happy Also made me a feel a bit more creepy/guilty about my collection of ~50 frozen capsuleer corpses in an industrial freezer in an UNDISCLOSED STATION.

Quote:
Quafe+, Putting the FUN back in FUNERAL!


I lol'd.

Rens Pricemaster
Posted - 2010.06.29 02:21:00 - [34]
 

I'd like 200 bottles please.
Also, do I get a discount if I orbital bombard a planet for you?

Uzbard
Minmatar
Posted - 2010.06.29 02:26:00 - [35]
 

So when is Quafe going to start making Soylent Green?

Primaryis Myship
Posted - 2010.06.29 03:56:00 - [36]
 

Originally by: Savasaan Todaro
That was rather disturbing. Humans taste yummy... *Nightmares*

ugh


Like slightly sweet pork, in fact.

Smell like it too.

Bio Reactor
Caldari
State War Academy
Posted - 2010.06.29 04:01:00 - [37]
 

" Like new salvage drones (for about half of the ships, at least)."

salvage drones, you say. interesting. Rolling Eyes

Kel Kun
Posted - 2010.06.29 05:05:00 - [38]
 

Euh... By what should I begin with...
ah yea! What happened with the Old Man's tale?
This problem was solved ages ago;
No need of crews, all is automated...
No need to use dead bodies, all is synthetisable (proper orthograph of this word may differ)
I admit it is funnier knowing theres a crew in your ship,
That's why my own crew is synthetised machines looking and being like the humans (our likes)do,
doing the automations.

Ahhh those Gallente, another snake trick leading to evil
hehe, Nice Try!
Think what you wanna think but think!

Herzog Wolfhammer
Gallente
Sigma Special Tactics Group
Posted - 2010.06.29 05:49:00 - [39]
 

Edited by: Herzog Wolfhammer on 29/06/2010 05:49:39
Originally by: Arboreal Feline
Originally by: Daggon BIgon
Obligatory "is peeeople!" reference.


Quafe+ is people!



beat me to it Razz


Hey this stuff about capsuleers getting people killed so much makes me ashamed to be one.




KoffeeKup
Caldari
Gh0st Hunters
Sspectre
Posted - 2010.06.29 07:33:00 - [40]
 

Edited by: KoffeeKup on 29/06/2010 07:38:05
Originally by: Glowstix
Way to tease us about salvage drones :(

Awesome chron! You should write more of 'em Very Happy Also made me a feel a bit more creepy/guilty about my collection of ~50 frozen capsuleer corpses in an industrial freezer in an UNDISCLOSED STATION.

Quote:
Quafe+, Putting the FUN back in FUNERAL!


I lol'd.


Salvage Drones would be teh epic ****. And glad i made some1 laugh.Surprised

Im imagining a funeral where every1 is all excited cause the casket is full of Quafe+ instead of Dad or Mom's corpse and all the people are giving the thumbs up and drinking as much as they can.

I swear, some people would love the fact that they was drinking people, it would sell in freight loads.

Aerilis
Gallente
Quantum Cats Syndicate
Posted - 2010.06.29 07:43:00 - [41]
 

I'm never drinking Quafe again :/

Anabella Rella
Minmatar
Gradient
Electus Matari
Posted - 2010.06.29 08:35:00 - [42]
 

Edited by: Anabella Rella on 29/06/2010 08:36:01

Now everyone in my corp will understand why I never drink Quafe! Thukker whiskey FTW.

Quafe+ The taste of today's generation

Dalilus
Posted - 2010.06.29 08:50:00 - [43]
 

Quafe+ The human esence
Quafe+ Never be lonely again!
Quafe+ Enjoy life with someone else
Quafe+ Need a stiff drink?
Quafe+ For the meat eater in you

Nikilaiki Ruutarhara
Caldari
Project Daedalid
Posted - 2010.06.29 08:59:00 - [44]
 

Quafe+ SCC tested, Covenant approved.

Winters Chill
Amarr
Ministry of War
Posted - 2010.06.29 09:35:00 - [45]
 

My favorite part of the story

"We hope to provide a human element to Quafe"

Laughing

Oh my turn.

Quafe+ because starship pilots have great taste.

Sonkut
Minmatar
The Motley Few
Posted - 2010.06.29 09:50:00 - [46]
 

Edited by: Sonkut on 29/06/2010 09:52:30
gota add one myself ... in fact i think Iíve seen this one in real life somewhere -

Quafe+ Because life tastes GREAT!
Hmm, what about:
Quafe+, because they were worth it!
or,
Quafe+, full of essential nutrients.
god they just keep coming...
Quafe+, dying to be a part of it.
Quafe+: the Pirates beverage, full of weeping relatives.

Edit:
1 more, Quafe+, Tastes like victory.

Ghorrn Kranthil
Posted - 2010.06.29 10:12:00 - [47]
 

Edited by: Ghorrn Kranthil on 29/06/2010 10:17:17
just as Veaulore stated... "We hope to provide a human element to Quafe ..." Laughing

ah, just seen, that's been quoted before... like it though.

and...did i read something about salvage drones? Twisted Evil

Luwc
Caldari
Easy Co.
Fatal Ascension
Posted - 2010.06.29 10:31:00 - [48]
 

ewwww Shocked

I stick with spirits ... unless quafe+ is made out of exotic dancers (prefer the female taste)

Nathan Jameson
Talocan Vanguard
Talocan United
Posted - 2010.06.29 11:06:00 - [49]
 

Was it just me, or was that a lot of chronicle for a "surprise" ending that was obvious from the start?

Maybe I'm missing some deeper implication hidden in the text.

Also, I thought from one of the in-game missions that Quafe+ was actually made using a psychotropic drug. But maybe I'm thinking of something else.

Abrazzar
Posted - 2010.06.29 11:39:00 - [50]
 

Originally by: Luwc
ewwww Shocked

I stick with spirits ... unless quafe+ is made out of exotic dancers (prefer the female taste)

Spirits are fermented biomass (guess which kind) if you're going for expensive stuff and the cheap booze is just synthetic alcohol plus water plus flavoring agents (guess where it comes from). Or why do you think they're called "spirits"?

Punx Evangeline
Veto.
Veto Corp
Posted - 2010.06.29 11:43:00 - [51]
 


Sonkut
Minmatar
The Motley Few
Posted - 2010.06.29 11:46:00 - [52]
 

Edited by: Sonkut on 29/06/2010 11:49:47
Originally by: Nathan Jameson
Was it just me, or was that a lot of chronicle for a "surprise" ending that was obvious from the start?

Maybe I'm missing some deeper implication hidden in the text.

Also, I thought from one of the in-game missions that Quafe+ was actually made using a psychotropic drug. But maybe I'm thinking of something else.


is that not quafe ultra?

also,
Quafe+, choc full of care bear tears :P
Or
Quafe+, get some care bear in you!
Itís that time of year again and we have an oversupply, come get yours at discount prices, Quafe+ is sponsored by Hulkageddon

Alban Wellis
Posted - 2010.06.29 12:13:00 - [53]
 

Originally by: CCP Jasonitas
I heard that Quafe+ is delicious. I know I'd try it.


Just my 5 cents:

after a race in the mud, I used to have a problem cleaning all the mechanical parts of my bike until I found Quafe+ was able to clean all the gripped bolts easing the maintenance...

Rolling Eyes uhmmm... wait... that was not Quafe+ Razz

anyway, much better than WD40 for an enduro biker Twisted Evil

Abhaya meshdatar
Preta Light Industries
Naraka.
Posted - 2010.06.29 12:35:00 - [54]
 

Edited by: Abhaya meshdatar on 29/06/2010 12:35:42
Originally by: KoffeeKup


Im imagining a funeral where every1 is all excited cause the casket is full of Quafe+ instead of Dad or Mom's corpse and all the people are giving the thumbs up and drinking as much as they can.


best comment by far. Razz

Evanda Char
Minmatar
Re-Awakened Technologies Inc
Electus Matari
Posted - 2010.06.29 13:23:00 - [55]
 

Mr. Itis, you are a wonderfully sick man. Thought the text was nicely nuanced, too.

Originally by: Nathan Jameson

Also, I thought from one of the in-game missions that Quafe+ was actually made using a psychotropic drug. But maybe I'm thinking of something else.


You could make psychotropic drugs out of some parts of the human body. Adrenochrome seems a likely candidate, but for something more subtle and like the effect in the story, I'd point at either the pineal or, more likely, the pituitary gland.

Aineko Macx
Posted - 2010.06.29 13:25:00 - [56]
 

Not so great chronicle tbh. Wheres the subtlety, the hidden layers of meaning, the open end? It's all straight and blunt.

Axemaster
Posted - 2010.06.29 13:57:00 - [57]
 

Why can't we have a happy or upbeat chronicle for once? I mean, I get it that the Eve universe is harsh and dark, but you've painted it completely black! I mean, drinking the dead? And previously, slaughtering millions of people for a profit in plain sight (while law enforcement does nothing)?

I mean really, the chronicles have become a theatre of the absurd. It seems like the writers are just trying to outdo each other in how horrible they can make their stories.

MechaMouse
Posted - 2010.06.29 14:28:00 - [58]
 

That story made me very thirsty.


Julius Maagnus
Posted - 2010.06.29 15:21:00 - [59]
 

Edited by: Julius Maagnus on 29/06/2010 15:23:28
Well, after reading these, I had to come up with some of my own. Here goes:

Quafe+ Because sometimes life can be too much.
Quafe+ We have one for everyone. Try our three best sellers, Mature, Adolescent, and our all new Infant formula.
Quafe+ Try our new Punch Melodyģ. Because eventually we all punch out.
Quafe+ The drink of the future with the flavor of the past.
Quafe+ Drink one today, you might be one tomorrow.
Quafe+ Every Capsuleers destiny.
Quafe+ Why cremate when you can clelebrate!
I hope these win some prizes.

Azura Noctis
Amarr
SWARTA
Posted - 2010.06.29 17:35:00 - [60]
 

Quafe+ Bringing back your taste for humankind.
Quafe+ Joining people together again with great taste!

Awesome read as usual guys. ;)


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