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Caleb Fury
Amarr
Reloaded.
Imperial 0rder
Posted - 2010.06.28 02:13:00 - [31]
 

Originally by: Kitasi
Originally by: Vivian Marcos
OK I wanted you corps to voice your opinions about this. Say I fly into your null sec, kill some of your people and leave (possibly with a fleet of people). I repeat this once or twice moreTwisted Evil. One day I decide I want to join your corp. Will you hold the fact that I (and possible my fleet) killed your some of your members repeatedly against me? Now this is just random acts of violence, I didn't target you our any of your corp or alliance members personally. My friend says I should not go pvping in other corps null sec because something like this might happen. Would it?


I believe I have detected an error in your writing. In your sixth sentence you state using the present tense, "Now this is just random acts..." however you switch after that to the past tense by stating "...I didn't target you..." I believe it would be more appropriate to stick with the same tense throughout the sentence rather than jumping from present to past. Perhaps the sentence might have been better constructed as entierly past tense; "Now these were just random acts of violence, I didn't target you or any of your corp or alliance members personally." Even if you wanted to stick with the present tense, you could have been better off wording it differently by replacing "...this is..." with "...these are..."

Hope that helps.


You misspelled "entirely". Hope that helps.

Beachura
Caldari
Exiled.
The Kadeshi
Posted - 2010.06.28 11:07:00 - [32]
 

Originally by: Kitasi
Originally by: Vivian Marcos
OK I wanted you corps to voice your opinions about this. Say I fly into your null sec, kill some of your people and leave (possibly with a fleet of people). I repeat this once or twice moreTwisted Evil. One day I decide I want to join your corp. Will you hold the fact that I (and possible my fleet) killed your some of your members repeatedly against me? Now this is just random acts of violence, I didn't target you our any of your corp or alliance members personally. My friend says I should not go pvping in other corps null sec because something like this might happen. Would it?


I believe I have detected an error in your writing. In your sixth sentence you state using the present tense, "Now this is just random acts..." however you switch after that to the past tense by stating "...I didn't target you..." I believe it would be more appropriate to stick with the same tense throughout the sentence rather than jumping from present to past. Perhaps the sentence might have been better constructed as entierly past tense; "Now these were just random acts of violence, I didn't target you or any of your corp or alliance members personally." Even if you wanted to stick with the present tense, you could have been better off wording it differently by replacing "...this is..." with "...these are..."

Hope that helps.


Man, You boned him Like I boned his sister


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