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Ozone71
Caldari
Taishi Combine
Posted - 2010.06.14 01:22:00 - [1]
 

There is no clone of Chuck Norris

If you ever see a Chuck Norris clone - its the same Chuck, he just moves too fast for you

Chuck Norris is immunie to Interdiction - there is no stopping Chuck

Chuck Norris CAN rip apart civilian mining lasers and recycle them

CONCORD pays Chuck a montly fee to operate in his Universe

Before Chuck Norris, there were no shattered planets

Wormholes exist where Chuck Norris missed a target and hit empty space

Chuck Norris never misses

The above two statements are both true because Chuck says they are

Chuck Norris needs no Pod

Chuck Norris has a standing of 10 with everyone ... except Caldari...even Chuck hates Caldari

Chuck Norris can mine an ice asteroid until it pops
...He could, he just wouldn't because Chuck thinks mining is for wimps
....unless you are using a pick axe
.....but Chuck mines with his bare hands

Chuck Norris can Compress Compressed Ore

Why is Chuck Norris so mad? ... Because of Falcon

Chuck Norris IS a blockade runner

Chuck Norris is Cap Stable

Chuck Norris has 4 high slots .. 2 hands .. 2 feet

The "All V's" option in EFT is actually Chuck Norris

Ozone71
Caldari
Taishi Combine
Posted - 2010.06.14 01:29:00 - [2]
 

Chuck Norris can train skills to Level VI.

No matter what system Chuck is in, that system is High Sec.

Whitehound
The Whitehound Corporation
Frontline Assembly Point
Posted - 2010.06.14 06:32:00 - [3]
 

Edited by: Whitehound on 14/06/2010 09:17:38
Chuck Norris can fit weapons in mid-slots.

Chuck Norris gets a bonus to hull tanking.

Chuck Norris does not show on local.

Chuck Norris can make PI extractors work faster only by staring at them.

Chuck Norris can scan the corp hangar of an Orca.

Chuck Norris can over-heat drones.

Chuck Norris invented the MWD-cloak trick.

Chuck Norris knows the mineral prices of yesterday and tomorrow.

Chuck Norris can blitz missions by declining them.

And this.

Blane Xero
Amarr
The Firestorm Cartel
Posted - 2010.06.14 06:42:00 - [4]
 

Chuck norris killed a Polaris Legatus Frigate. Twice.

Epegi Givo
Amarr
Department of Redundancy Dpt.
Posted - 2010.06.14 06:52:00 - [5]
 

m0o used to be a big pirate organization in lowsec. Then they met Chuck Norris.

Ozone71
Caldari
Taishi Combine
Posted - 2010.06.14 07:47:00 - [6]
 

Chuck Norris can fit a weapon on to a freighter - himself as pilot.

Chuck Norris cares not for DPS, his alpha strike is always enough.

Chuck Norris wants to walk in stations ... so he can kick more a**

Chuck can fly a Dreadnaught in High sec - even a Rookie ship is considered a Dread if Chuck pilots

Chuck never fits modules to a ship, he just warps in, ejects and fights you hand to hand.

Chuck took on a Dreadnaught once in 1v1 PVP ... he punched it so hard it now thinks its a Hulk called 'Veldnaught'.

Dan O'Connor
Cerberus Network
Dignitas.
Posted - 2010.06.14 10:58:00 - [7]
 

Chuck Norris once bet CONCORD he could survive a stargate jump without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 107, a naked Chuck Norris approached the stargate in Perimeter, activated it and jumped into Jita - the jump flash visible in 3 systems, reaching speeds up to 100 AU per second and temperatures of 10,000 degrees. An embarrassed CONCORD publicly claimed it was a stargate malfunction, and still owes him a Quafe.

Reptail
Caldari
Posted - 2010.06.14 11:02:00 - [8]
 

Edited by: Reptail on 14/06/2010 12:46:41
Chuck Norris met Reptail, Chuck Dies.
End of story.

ED: Chuck Norris meets Reptail, Chuck Dies.


Ozone71
Caldari
Taishi Combine
Posted - 2010.06.14 11:36:00 - [9]
 

Originally by: Reptail
Chuck Norris met Reptail, Chuck Dies.


...laughing

Dan O'Connor
Cerberus Network
Dignitas.
Posted - 2010.06.14 12:41:00 - [10]
 

Once, Chuck Norris ordered a Thorax from the Caldari State... and got one.

Khraunus
Amarr
Black Forest Operatives
Posted - 2010.06.14 20:55:00 - [11]
 

The fastest U-turn in eve history was recorded on July 18, 2008 when Concord realized they were warping towards Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not warp; Stations and stargates are built around him.

Zedic
Amarr
Universalis Imperium
Tactical Narcotics Team
Posted - 2010.06.14 21:34:00 - [12]
 

I hate this meme and I hate chuck norris. What an 'effin dooosh. Neutral

Simeon Tor
Picon Fleet
New Eden Research.
Posted - 2010.06.14 21:36:00 - [13]
 

Originally by: Zedic
I hate this meme and I hate chuck norris. What an 'effin dooosh. Neutral


FINALLY! Someone who agrees with me!

yfz3r0
Caldari
Perkone
Posted - 2010.06.14 22:12:00 - [14]
 

Originally by: Simeon Tor
Originally by: Zedic
I hate this meme and I hate chuck norris. What an 'effin dooosh. Neutral


FINALLY! Someone who agrees with me!


Make that 2 people. We don't speak that man's name anymore. See reason below:

Chuck Norris AKA Ned Flanders

Thuranni
Eldjotnar
Posted - 2010.06.14 22:14:00 - [15]
 

This **** was funny briefly in 2003.

Zions Child
Caldari
The Resident Haunting
Posted - 2010.06.14 22:19:00 - [16]
 

Originally by: Zedic
I hate this meme and I hate chuck norris. What an 'effin dooosh. Neutral


/signed

Also, since when did OOPE become the Barrens chat of WoW?

Whats next, dead baby EVE jokes?

So Sensational
Ministry of War
Posted - 2010.06.14 22:51:00 - [17]
 

Originally by: Zions Child
Originally by: Zedic

Also, since when did OOPE become the Barrens chat of WoW?

Whats next, dead baby EVE jokes?

What's worse than a dishonest pirate? A baby with a full-grown fontanelle.

What's the difference between a baby and a rifter? After being beat up day after day the rifter still functions with a bit of duct tape repairs, I can't say the same for babies.

Zivoril
Posted - 2010.06.15 01:36:00 - [18]
 

All I can add is Bruce Lee beats Chuck.Cool

Whitehound
The Whitehound Corporation
Frontline Assembly Point
Posted - 2010.06.15 08:47:00 - [19]
 

Originally by: Zivoril
All I can add is Bruce Lee beats Chuck.Cool

Bruce Lee beats Iron Man!

Dan O'Connor
Cerberus Network
Dignitas.
Posted - 2010.06.15 15:54:00 - [20]
 

Chuck Norris is the only person known to man who can, in fact, refine refined minerals.

Chuck Norris CAN do PI in Jita.

Chuck Norris does it in a Kestrel. All of it.

Exploding Tukey
Gallente
Scrap Metal Salvage Inc
Chained Reactions
Posted - 2010.06.15 16:18:00 - [21]
 

Chuck Norris uses corpses as ammo. He never runs out.

Dan O'Connor
Cerberus Network
Dignitas.
Posted - 2010.06.15 17:04:00 - [22]
 

Edited by: Dan O''Connor on 15/06/2010 18:05:55

Chuck Norris does not pay taxes. If the CEO asks him to do so he only EVEMails him a link with an image of him, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck never had to pay corp taxes, ever.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Warp/Gank

Chuck Norris once popped a Dominix by pointing a finger at it and yelling "bang!"

Jim McGregor
Posted - 2010.06.16 17:33:00 - [23]
 

Edited by: Jim McGregor on 16/06/2010 17:38:51

Please visit your user settings to re-enable images.

Nali Kceb
Posted - 2010.06.21 22:34:00 - [24]
 

Edited by: Nali Kceb on 21/06/2010 22:37:27
Edited by: Nali Kceb on 21/06/2010 22:36:27
I have some too:

There is no "deadly Jovian disease" Chuck Norris didn't like most Jovians.

Chuck Norris solo killed a Titan, in his pod.

The most challenging thing Chuck ever did on EVE was holding a veldspar mining content with Chirriba and his alts. Again he was in his pod, it was that challenging since he was 55 minutes to late.(the content lasted 1 hour).

Chuck Norris never updates his clone, nobody can kill Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can copy BPC's, That's where BPO's come from.

There are 5 damage types in eve: Thermal, kinetic, explosive, EM and Chuck Norris.

Not all Chuck Norris his skills are lvl 5, some are higher.

If you have 1m isk and Chuck Norris has 1m isk Chuck Norris has more isk than you.

The design for the titan avatar is rumoured to be based on a certain part of Chuck Norris bodyEmbarassed.

The Apocrypha wormholes opening is the result of Chuck Norris sneezing.

Chuck Norris doesn't need skill books, he writes them.

Chuck Norris doesn't get concorded, concord gets Chuck Norrised!

Chuck Norris can destroy a pos in reinforcement mode.

Chuck Norris has allot of chars, every time he plays out eve he starts a new char.

Chuck Norris doesn't need stargates, he can create a wh to everywhere by roundhouse kicking space!


Dan O'Connor
Cerberus Network
Dignitas.
Posted - 2010.06.22 00:18:00 - [25]
 

Edited by: Dan O''Connor on 22/06/2010 00:18:58
In 106, Chuck Norris did 12 jumps for a 23 jump route, falling short of his personal best by 3 jumps.

In the rare occurence that Chuck ever does mine, he mines Tritanium and refines it to Dense Veldspar.

If one could actually harness the energy released by Chuck Norris' Pod for 1 hour, it could power all stargates in the vincinity of about 10 lightyears, for 6 months - even without requiring being near a star.

CONCORD has forbidden to allow a clone of Chuck Norris, as their scientists might be afraid that Chuck would find a way to release his clone without Pod-kill, and if both their pods were to collide in space, it could literally mean the end of New Eden.

Gistatis Tribunus
Posted - 2010.06.22 00:42:00 - [26]
 

Chuck Norris kills himself whenever he hears these jokes. Chuck can't die though, so his alternative is throwing cinderblocks around the world at 10000km/h and repeatedly hitting himself in the face with said blocks, killing 100 people each block thrown.

Epegi Givo
Amarr
Department of Redundancy Dpt.
Posted - 2010.06.22 01:47:00 - [27]
 

As the final, key part of their construction, A hair of Chuck Norris is stroked against a CONCORD ship, imbuing it with all the power it has.

We do not fear Earth because of their far superior technology, we fear Earth because Chuck Norris is there.

Herzog Wolfhammer
Gallente
Sigma Special Tactics Group
Posted - 2010.06.22 02:50:00 - [28]
 

No not this. I would rather be Rickrolled.




 

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