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Yblarbo Janks
Caldari
Veto.
Posted - 2009.11.13 19:31:00 - [1]
 

Hello folks, Janks here, with a last minute requestial demand for something so simple, it shouldn't take but a few palm slaps to do. Janks needs the ability to fly upaside down.

Now mind you, this isn't to look pretty or be fancy in space. This isn't for a simple 'just because we cant right now' request either. NO. Janks is serious this time. This is a serious issue. Janks wants it taken seroiusly.

Janks has dropped his keys to half of his ships in his hanger and it fell down between the seat and the console, and his hand is too thick to stick down there and reach them. Seriously, this is a design flaw to many ships, and instead of changing ships it would help if we could just jerk the wheel to the left hard, or to the right harder, and keys and coins and jellybeans and and pens and stuff could easily just fall up and we could pick them back off the windshield, tuck them away and be about his business. Janks has tried to stick his hand in there, but not only is it too tight to reach it, but the upholstery is all sticky and gross due to spilled drinks and food particles that have accumulated over the years. There's also this funky smell that would not be wise to get on his skin, as the smell also seems to glow in the dark. And who ever thought that was even theoretically possible? Smells can't be visual, but this one is!

Janks understands this chagne will have some negative drawbacks. For one, all those old moldy raisenettes and fedo-poo and chewed-up-spat-out-fingernails and other various gross things come out as well. Worse, if your seat belt isn't on good you may be face-planting on your own windshield and have to roll around like an idiot to get back in the seat, leaving yourself unable to watch ship scanners and possibly get yourself into heaps of troubles and next thing you know you awake in your clone and YOU STILL DON'T HAVE YOUR KEYS.

But Janks is willing to take this risk. Space is scary and stuff, and is willing to risk it all so please ships must go upaside down.

That and if you are ever caught in Janks's scramble range, you can also get a nice view of his butt pressed against his windshield as he orbits you UPASIDE DOWN! Hopefully those will be raisenettes you see stuck to him, if not, then maybe you won't want to hear his ransom demands.


Michael Blackthorne
Gallente
Veto Corp
Posted - 2009.11.13 19:37:00 - [2]
 

This ^ must happen, totally approve.

Malena Panic
Gallente
Veto.
Veto Corp
Posted - 2009.11.13 19:37:00 - [3]
 

Admit it, Janks, You just want to be in Top Gun.

Quote:

Charlie > So, lieutenant, where exactly were you?
Maverick > Well, we...
Goose > Thank you.
Maverick > Started up on a 6, when he pulled from the clouds, and then I moved in above him.
Charlie > Well, if you were directly above him, how could you see him?
Maverick > Because I was inverted.

Captain Tardbar
State Protectorate
Posted - 2009.11.13 19:44:00 - [4]
 

Deep thought.

What if everyone in EVE is already flying upside down? How would we know?

MatrixSkye Mk2
Minmatar
Posted - 2009.11.13 19:50:00 - [5]
 

Originally by: Captain Tardbar
Deep thought.

What if everyone in EVE is already flying upside down? How would we know?
It't obvious, you silly. All the flying traffic signs would be backwards :).


Morwen Lagann
Gallente
Veto Corp
Posted - 2009.11.13 20:10:00 - [6]
 

Originally by: Michael Blackthorne
This ^ must happen, totally approve.


Signed. Laughing

Karanth
Gallente
RONA Corporation
RONA Directorate
Posted - 2009.11.13 21:16:00 - [7]
 

Postin in a Janks thread.

Also supporting it as I am a very big important space pilot and am far too busy wasting time conforming to your conventions on ship attitude control to get anything done. Also we have artificial gravity and such so no big deal either.


Zeredek
Gallente
The Scope
Posted - 2009.11.13 21:20:00 - [8]
 

Edited by: Zeredek on 13/11/2009 21:20:22
Laughing

Therran Promitz
Caldari
Posted - 2009.11.13 22:54:00 - [9]
 

Originally by: Captain Tardbar
Deep thought.

What if everyone in EVE is already flying upside down? How would we know?


Fund it.

Julius Rigel
Sub-warp Racing Venture
Posted - 2009.11.13 23:21:00 - [10]
 

The SRV graciously supports this request for a key-retrieval device. Also, makes for a great polaroid!

Solomon Weyland
Caldari
State War Academy
Posted - 2009.11.14 00:45:00 - [11]
 

After glancing at the title of this thread, I hereby proclaim that the Dominion expansion shall from this point on, be known as Dem' Onions.

Mutnin
Amarr
Mutineers
Posted - 2009.11.14 01:06:00 - [12]
 

Originally by: Yblarbo Janks


Now mind you, this isn't to look pretty or be fancy in space.




Well we all know there is no chance in Janks being either pretty or fancy. YARRRR!!

RuleoftheBone
Minmatar
Black Viper Nomads
Posted - 2009.11.14 01:08:00 - [13]
 

Thank ****ing all thats holy for the return of Janks to the boards.

Hi dude Very Happy

<3 Bone

F'nog
Amarr
Viziam
Posted - 2009.11.14 06:28:00 - [14]
 

Originally by: Julius Rigel
Also, makes for a great polaroid!


Excellent reference.+1 to you.

Chainsaw Plankton
IDLE GUNS
IDLE EMPIRE
Posted - 2009.11.14 07:32:00 - [15]
 

don't lie, you just want to do a barrel roll. Laughing

MightyRhinox
Minmatar
Rhinox Heavy Industries
Twilight Military Industrial Complex Alliance
Posted - 2009.11.14 07:43:00 - [16]
 

There's one tragic and fatal flaw in your plan....

The keys won't fall out, they'll stay exactly where they are....

Larg Kellein
Caldari
Agony Unleashed
Agony Empire
Posted - 2009.11.14 16:20:00 - [17]
 

In principle, I like this idea. However... what are you doing flying around with your ship keys in ships other than the ones they're used for. Sounds inconvenient to have to go get a new set made if you lose the ship that happens to hold the keys.

Yblarbo Janks
Caldari
Veto.
Posted - 2009.11.14 17:44:00 - [18]
 

Originally by: Larg Kellein
In principle, I like this idea. However... what are you doing flying around with your ship keys in ships other than the ones they're used for. Sounds inconvenient to have to go get a new set made if you lose the ship that happens to hold the keys.


Janks is glad that you asked a serious question in relations to his serious demands.

As Janks always tells himself when he's alone with his thought, "It's all about the ladies", because Janks is a ladies man. Currently there is no lady, but the answer to your question is also one that possibly can solve his ladylackage. There is nothing like a big wad of keys in your pocket as you strut around the local spacebar.

Now Janks knows what you are thinking, the ladies ask him "Is that a huge wad of keys in your pocket or are you happy to see me?" Well - this may surprise you, but Janks just pulls his keys out and says "It's not just a wad of keys baby, it's a HUGE WAD OF KEYS!" And then he jingles them to accentuate the largeness wadness. Don't get Janks wrong, he is happy to see the ladies, but well... let's say that the ship builders changed the insane speeds ships usta could go with polycarbs, nanofibers, overdrives, and all those other fancy pancy modules because quite frankly our meatsacks were not built to withstand speeds of that magnitude! There's a bit of shrinkage down there, and not due to the cold harshness of space but due to being inverted from insane speeds repeatedly! This one time Janks got his Nano-Curse up to 10,000/ms and damn near thought he was going to give himself babies due the inversion going COMPLETE. But then Janks remembered he can't physically have babies... But he sorta did find himself confused as it wasn't as bad as thought it would be. Then Janks wondered hey, maybe Janks can enjoy the company of men more than just sitting around playing cards and drinking and watching ...oh wait, Janks is getting off the topic. It never did become an uncomfortable issue to talk about with corp mates, after all Janks is in Veto.

Anyhow, Janks likes to pull out his huge wad of keys, as he said and jingle them ferociously because he accepts that his huge ship collection is nothing more than compensation for the shortcomings.

No pun intended.

Chereadenine Zakalwe
Caldari
The Legion of Spoon
Curatores Veritatis Alliance
Posted - 2009.11.14 17:44:00 - [19]
 

I look at the forum for the first time in months and find a Janks post..hellyeah!
Give us upsidey down flyin,and barrel rolls while your at it..those Dragonfly pilots have all the luck!

Rhanna Khurin
Minmatar
Tribal Liberation Force
Posted - 2009.11.14 18:03:00 - [20]
 

Perhaps all we really need is a barrel roll ability.

Cypherous
Minmatar
Lions of Judah Incorporated
Posted - 2009.11.14 18:06:00 - [21]
 

Originally by: Chainsaw Plankton
don't lie, you just want to do a barrel roll. Laughing


Obligatory Do a Barrel ROLL

Vak'ran
TUIG Inc.
Posted - 2009.11.14 20:30:00 - [22]
 

Originally by: Malena Panic
Admit it, Janks, You just want to be in Top Gun.

Quote:

Charlie > So, lieutenant, where exactly were you?
Maverick > Well, we...
Goose > Thank you.
Maverick > Started up on a 6, when he pulled from the clouds, and then I moved in above him.
Charlie > Well, if you were directly above him, how could you see him?
Maverick > Because I was inverted.



No, no, you must mean hot shots.

Quote:

Buzz Harley > Yeee-haaah
Mailman > Allright Buzz, that's enough of that
(while picking up walkmans and playing cards and whatnot from the canopy)
(...)
Mailman > What did I just say! That is a good way to loose an eye my friend.



Although, towards the OP's point, while valid, I must observe a problem of sorts. The gravity inside our ships is not governed by that inside the station or worse, celestial bodies. Imagine the mess that would cause...
So this flying upside down business, while cool, would not do much good towards the whole key situation.
It would be beneficial to have a 'reverse gravity' button. Maybe a nice big red one? Like, right next to the self destruct button?

Brur
Posted - 2009.11.14 22:00:00 - [23]
 

the prophet demands action!
and looks forward to flying his old phoon again if he can ever get the keys out from between the console and the seat of his rifter. . . Sad

Amitious Turkey
Gallente
TarNec
Posted - 2009.11.15 00:35:00 - [24]
 

I DEMAND BIG RED BUTTONS!!!


 

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