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blankseplocked How many virgins await me if I have faith in global warming?
 
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Dirtball
PinK Tac0 ReasearcH
Posted - 2009.10.27 02:55:00 - [1]
 

My fellow church goers and I were having a discussion and were wondering if anyone had any hard facts on how many virgins await those of us who have a strong faith in global warming and our lord and savior al gore.

Noun Verber
Gallente
Posted - 2009.10.27 03:04:00 - [2]
 

I believe that the true number will be 20 virgins and 20 nonvirgins. This is because ot all who are true believers are able to stay chaste.

Mr Reeth
Posted - 2009.10.27 03:19:00 - [3]
 

It's actually 100 virgins. But they are all fat guys who want to play D&D for eternity.

karma militia
Posted - 2009.10.27 03:29:00 - [4]
 

just because cirtain unscrupulous people are using this "conveinient truth" for political leverage does not make it false. but it doesn't make it true either.

I have seen so much contradicting data surrounding this concept, presented with such conviction, it forced me to throw my hands up and walk away from the issue, kind of like religion.

most likely it's a half truth, like the planet is heating up, but it's because of increased solar storms, or the earths magnetic poles are about to flip, allowing for excess radiation to break through the earths mag-field.

JordanParey
Suddenly Ninjas
Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service
Posted - 2009.10.27 05:17:00 - [5]
 

You'll get 70 hippies who don't shave, don't bathe, don't eat anything that casts a shadow, and are laden with the clap and herpes.

karma militia
Posted - 2009.10.27 05:44:00 - [6]
 

Originally by: JordanParey
You'll get 70 hippies who don't shave, don't bathe, don't eat anything that casts a shadow, and are laden with the clap and herpes.



y'know... sometimes i forget how stupid the internets really is.

MightyRhinox
Minmatar
Rhinox Heavy Industries
Twilight Military Industrial Complex Alliance
Posted - 2009.10.27 05:56:00 - [7]
 

Originally by: Mr Reeth
It's actually 100 virgins. But they are all fat guys who want to play D&D for eternity.


'Cause they died first when all their basements flooded.

Wendat Huron
Stellar Solutions
Posted - 2009.10.27 08:26:00 - [8]
 

Actually believing in global warming will grant you less virgins. Fatty virgin gets heated, sheds fat by perspiration, becomes more attractive and less of a virgin.

To get the maximum amount of virgin payout you must denounce global warming!

MightyRhinox
Minmatar
Rhinox Heavy Industries
Twilight Military Industrial Complex Alliance
Posted - 2009.10.27 08:35:00 - [9]
 

Edited by: MightyRhinox on 27/10/2009 08:36:03
Originally by: Wendat Huron
Actually believing in global warming will grant you less virgins. Fatty virgin gets heated, sheds fat by perspiration, becomes more attractive and less of a virgin.

To get the maximum amount of virgin payout you must denounce global warming!


But then we only get fat virgins...

Besides, who really wants virgins? They're always so nervous and talking about how it's so big and asking if it's going to hurt.....

And then they start falling in love with you, which really really sucks....

BrottarBritta
Rhyming Space Whores
Posted - 2009.10.27 08:50:00 - [10]
 

Around 70 virgins if you're a muslim, and none if you're a christian (even "virgin" Mary did it YARRRR!!, she met a latino named Angelo, but it got translated to angel).

And if you die to a blob in EVE: just count the pilots and that's the number of virgins that killed you Very Happy

The AEther
Caldari
Agony Unleashed
Agony Empire
Posted - 2009.10.27 09:33:00 - [11]
 

after you die, +1

Herzog Wolfhammer
Gallente
Sigma Special Tactics Group
Posted - 2009.10.28 08:23:00 - [12]
 

For Global Warmingism, you go to a National Park when you die, and if you were a good little ecofascist, you will get 72 Subaru-driving Birkenstock wearing lesbians.

They won't be interested in you, but at least in a national park and a 4WD you can go hunting. Twisted Evil

Taradis
Amarr
The Imperial Assassins
Warped Aggression
Posted - 2009.10.28 09:56:00 - [13]
 

Virgin's still exist? Shocked

Zeredek
Gallente
The Scope
Posted - 2009.10.30 13:41:00 - [14]
 

Originally by: BrottarBritta
And if you die to a blob in EVE: just count the pilots and that's the number of virgins that killed you Very Happy


Laughing

ceaon
Posted - 2009.10.30 14:25:00 - [15]
 

i want *****es not virgins geeez you ppl want to spend so much time to learn them how to **** ? we spend some time to convince our gf to make a hj or a bj imagine if you have 72 or over 9000 geeez

Ashani Osaka
Amarr
Ethereal Acolytes
Posted - 2009.10.30 14:59:00 - [16]
 

surely, this is the equation,

Stop global warming = people live longer
__________________
screw more


Promote and do more global warming = people are to hot and tire to screw
___________________________________
people die younger as virgins

there for, by this logic, more global warming promotes X
where X is the number or virgins you recieve when you die.

Jacob Mei
Gallente
Posted - 2009.10.30 19:57:00 - [17]
 

Originally by: karma militia
just because cirtain unscrupulous people are using this "conveinient truth" for political leverage does not make it false. but it doesn't make it true either.

I have seen so much contradicting data surrounding this concept, presented with such conviction, it forced me to throw my hands up and walk away from the issue, kind of like religion.

most likely it's a half truth, like the planet is heating up, but it's because of increased solar storms, or the earths magnetic poles are about to flip, allowing for excess radiation to break through the earths mag-field.


This. Not to mention the fact that alot of this stuff is fear mongering which in turn is used to scam people. Im not saying that global warming doesnt exist but we simply do not have enough data on all the contributing factors to weather to, in my opinion, justify some of the extreme crap that enviromentalists are advocating.

Sazkyen
Posted - 2009.10.30 20:08:00 - [18]
 

I've been eyeing with this thread since its birth. I could never convince myself to click it and check what it was about. Finally I couldn't resist anymore and opted to click on it. Let me tell you: it wasn't worth it. Laughing


 

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