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blankseplocked Im getting in to goonswarm, yay!
 
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Crimsona Endarius
Posted - 2009.10.24 23:03:00 - [1]
 

Edited by: Crimsona Endarius on 24/10/2009 23:25:15



There I was, spamming my LF zero sec corp message in to recruitment, and I get a convo. So there was this guy named Doanshoot, polite feller, all proper and business-like. In all senses very legit feeling guy. I hit open his bio and he's from the fleet of the swarm. It also says he's an official recruiter for the goonswarm.

So he asks me if I know about them. I answer sure I know all about them, is there a player in eve who doesnt?

Skipping a bit ahead, he tells me I can get right in to their ranks with a small sponsoring fee. Who would sponsor total unkowns for free afterall. Makes sense. 100 million to get in to the swarm, 250 if I want in to the fleet itself.

I ask him educated questions, I'm not dumb afterall. I know goons have some shady background.

I ask him why he doesn't have any recruiting related titles, he says alts don't get them.

I ask why does he recruit with an alt. Well obviously because he can't divulge the name of his main that's involved in a secret operation piloting a titan. Oh ok, makes sense, I mean, if I was piloting a titan in a secret operation I wouldn't tell anyone.

So I ask him all about why their wiki says if you paid to get in to goonswarm, you got scammed, he says he doesn't know, he doesn't use the public access pages.

I ask if I could talk to a superior of his who could confirm his authenticity, he says they won't care about such trivial matters. I press on and he gets some guy named RobTheRad in to the convo, who is supposedly superior to him.

He has a legit looking title Mentor. So obviously I can trust this guy. He assures me that Doanshoot is legit, and further along the line tells me that the wiki page was made by some dood whose name I forgot, because people kept sending him money to get in to goonswarm. So, know you know, the message "if you paid to get in to goonswarm, you got scammed" is really there to stop random people sending money to the guy who ever he was. I would hate that happen to me.

Anyway, this guy goes off, he's busy teaching a newbee how to fly.

I grab a few names from him who sponsor folks and can verify his authenticity, also some people who he has sponsored, as well as the name of the head of recruitment in the swarm.

I ask why can't I just join through the Something Awful method, that's seemingly free. He tells me it costs some irl money, 10 dollars or something. Bummer. I say well, that's cheaper anyway than 250 mil that it costs to get in to the fleet in relative terms. He says yea but you have to be a member for 3 months after that and post actively and constructively.

I say, well I got nothing but time so I'll go ahead with that, he says that ya sure, but you'll have to make a new account. Cuz they only take in newbies that way. Oh ok. Damn. I guess I'll just have to go with his offer then.

I thanked him for his time and told him I'd talk with some of the folks whose names he gave before getting back to him. Unfortunately he told me that he's going for a 2 week vacation in Florida in 2 days. Major bummer.

So I guess I have now 2 days to think this through, otherwise I'll have to wait 2 weeks Sad

What do you guys think, should I take this offer? Might be my only chance to get in to the swarm :D


Solitary Victim
Kind of Purple
Posted - 2009.10.24 23:11:00 - [2]
 

First. And with any luck, last.

Dorian Wylde
Posted - 2009.10.24 23:12:00 - [3]
 

Shocked

Saul Reaver
Oberon Incorporated
Morsus Mihi
Posted - 2009.10.24 23:32:00 - [4]
 

Originally by: Crimsona Endarius

WALL OF TEXT





Aurical Cryso
Minmatar
C.R.M Productions
BricK sQuAD.
Posted - 2009.10.24 23:58:00 - [5]
 

It's a scam. I have a friend that gets lulzy amounts of money doing this.

The goon page that says it's a scam is correct. The only way to become a goon is to be on the somethingawful.com forums for three months.

Trvaeler
Posted - 2009.10.25 01:06:00 - [6]
 

Originally by: Aurical Cryso
It's a scam. I have a friend that gets lulzy amounts of money doing this.

The goon page that says it's a scam is correct. The only way to become a goon is to be on the somethingawful.com forums for three months.


Pretty sure he knows that :) But kudos for making it extra - obvious for the less astute :)

Cyprus Black
Caldari
Perkone
Posted - 2009.10.25 01:15:00 - [7]
 

In before epic "Goons ripped me off" crying post.

Stupid McStupidson
Gallente
Hoek Lyne and Sinker
Posted - 2009.10.25 01:50:00 - [8]
 

Cool story bro

Jenne Levour
Posted - 2009.10.25 02:04:00 - [9]
 

Originally by: Stupid McStupidson
Cool story bro


I've always wondered, do you feel witty using the fotm meme? Do you actually roam the forums just to find a half suitable place to post it so you'll look "in"?

Sorry for picking out your post out of all the lemmings, it just kinda was the last cool story for the day and it broke my limiter for curiosity.

Dessie Enta
Caldari
Breach Allied Industries
Posted - 2009.10.25 02:30:00 - [10]
 

Originally by: Jenne Levour
Originally by: Stupid McStupidson
Cool story bro


I've always wondered, do you feel witty using the fotm meme? Do you actually roam the forums just to find a half suitable place to post it so you'll look "in"?

Sorry for picking out your post out of all the lemmings, it just kinda was the last cool story for the day and it broke my limiter for curiosity.
One of those people who persist with telling a joke that wasn't really that funny in the first place...and has long since succeeded in still being funny...

PostmasterGeneral
Minmatar
yo i'm posting
Posted - 2009.10.25 02:34:00 - [11]
 

Originally by: Jenne Levour
Originally by: Stupid McStupidson
Cool story bro


I've always wondered, do you feel witty using the fotm meme? Do you actually roam the forums just to find a half suitable place to post it so you'll look "in"?

Sorry for picking out your post out of all the lemmings, it just kinda was the last cool story for the day and it broke my limiter for curiosity.


cool story bro

Tyrone Bighams
Gallente
Tactical Command Sector
Posted - 2009.10.25 02:44:00 - [12]
 

dont feed the troll kids. its gets bigger.

Crimsona Endarius
Posted - 2009.10.25 02:50:00 - [13]
 

Edited by: Crimsona Endarius on 25/10/2009 02:51:23
Originally by: Tyrone Bighams
dont feed the troll kids. its gets bigger.


I resent that. I'm no troll. It's a legit discussion I had today while looking for a new corp, I found humour in the fact that the stereotype goon with his age old scam I've read so many cry threads about finally found me personally.

While the humour of the event is most propably lost on everyone else, I decided to share it with everyone anyway. I cooked it in sarcasm sauce, threw in some naivety for flavour and lastly posted it in to C & P for colorful replies.

Cake?

Bongo Debbie
Minmatar
In Praise Of Shadows
Posted - 2009.10.25 03:23:00 - [14]
 

Originally by: Crimsona Endarius

I resent that. I'm no troll....

I decided to share it with everyone anyway. I cooked it in sarcasm sauce, threw in some naivety for flavour and lastly posted it in to C & P for colorful replies.


Exactly, trolling.

Also another fail goons thread.Rolling Eyes

Faithful Functor
Posted - 2009.10.25 03:56:00 - [15]
 

Which GF character is your main?

Dacryphile
Posted - 2009.10.25 04:04:00 - [16]
 

Originally by: PostmasterGeneral
Originally by: Jenne Levour
Originally by: Stupid McStupidson
Cool story bro


I've always wondered, do you feel witty using the fotm meme? Do you actually roam the forums just to find a half suitable place to post it so you'll look "in"?

Sorry for picking out your post out of all the lemmings, it just kinda was the last cool story for the day and it broke my limiter for curiosity.


cool story bro
I admit, I loled a little at this one.

Marchocias
Posted - 2009.10.25 08:52:00 - [17]
 

Edited by: Marchocias on 25/10/2009 08:55:55
Er... unless you are already the kind of berk that regularly infests something awful, why would you even WANT to join the swarm?

Saul Reaver
Oberon Incorporated
Morsus Mihi
Posted - 2009.10.25 11:12:00 - [18]
 

Originally by: Crimsona Endarius
Edited by: Crimsona Endarius on 25/10/2009 02:51:23
Originally by: Tyrone Bighams
dont feed the troll kids. its gets bigger.


I resent that. I'm no troll. It's a legit discussion I had today while looking for a new corp, I found humour in the fact that the stereotype goon with his age old scam I've read so many cry threads about finally found me personally.

While the humour of the event is most propably lost on everyone else, I decided to share it with everyone anyway. I cooked it in sarcasm sauce, threw in some naivety for flavour and lastly posted it in to C & P for colorful replies.

Cake?


Lol, You deny being a troll at the beginning of this post but the final paragraph tell's me you are indeed a troll.
Way to go back on yourself brah. Rolling Eyes

Crimsona Endarius
Posted - 2009.10.25 11:41:00 - [19]
 

Originally by: Saul Reaver
Originally by: Crimsona Endarius
Edited by: Crimsona Endarius on 25/10/2009 02:51:23
Originally by: Tyrone Bighams
dont feed the troll kids. its gets bigger.


I resent that. I'm no troll. It's a legit discussion I had today while looking for a new corp, I found humour in the fact that the stereotype goon with his age old scam I've read so many cry threads about finally found me personally.

While the humour of the event is most propably lost on everyone else, I decided to share it with everyone anyway. I cooked it in sarcasm sauce, threw in some naivety for flavour and lastly posted it in to C & P for colorful replies.

Cake?


Lol, You deny being a troll at the beginning of this post but the final paragraph tell's me you are indeed a troll.
Way to go back on yourself brah. Rolling Eyes



I thought trolls were about inciting flames and kicks on the nads bringing out the worst in forum heroes.

Though, I recon you might be on the right track there. I wouldn't go so far as to call me a troll. I may live under a bridge and I'm hairy, but I got feelings too Crying or Very sad

Stupid McStupidson
Gallente
Hoek Lyne and Sinker
Posted - 2009.10.25 15:12:00 - [20]
 

Originally by: Jenne Levour
Originally by: Stupid McStupidson
Cool story bro


I've always wondered, do you feel witty using the fotm meme? Do you actually roam the forums just to find a half suitable place to post it so you'll look "in"?

Sorry for picking out your post out of all the lemmings, it just kinda was the last cool story for the day and it broke my limiter for curiosity.


It's quite simple really, and made much less simpler now that I have to explain it to the dense mass that replaced your brain. Rather than a rave about being an obvious troll, or a rave about being so stupid to fall for goonie's tricks, or even a dismissive swipe at posting something that I consider inane, or pointless...I posted the comment "Cool story bro" which says ALL those things at once. It's clear, simple and concise. If you leave a forwarding address, I will send you a check for the 1.3 seconds of your life I stole from you when reading my comment. And in summery: umad?

Alt Tabbed
Posted - 2009.10.25 15:26:00 - [21]
 

Originally by: Stupid McStupidson
Originally by: Jenne Levour
Originally by: Stupid McStupidson
Cool story bro


I've always wondered, do you feel witty using the fotm meme? Do you actually roam the forums just to find a half suitable place to post it so you'll look "in"?

Sorry for picking out your post out of all the lemmings, it just kinda was the last cool story for the day and it broke my limiter for curiosity.


It's quite simple really, and made much less simpler now that I have to explain it to the dense mass that replaced your brain. Rather than a rave about being an obvious troll, or a rave about being so stupid to fall for goonie's tricks, or even a dismissive swipe at posting something that I consider inane, or pointless...I posted the comment "Cool story bro" which says ALL those things at once. It's clear, simple and concise. If you leave a forwarding address, I will send you a check for the 1.3 seconds of your life I stole from you when reading my comment. And in summery: umad?



Wait....are you saying it'll take 1.3 seconds to read "Cool Story Bro"?


Are you reading tghis out loud to a group a preschoolers? If so..you better be sending a large check. Teachers get paid well...much more than Forum Alts.

Neutral

Stupid McStupidson
Gallente
Hoek Lyne and Sinker
Posted - 2009.10.25 15:39:00 - [22]
 

Originally by: Alt Tabbed
Wait....are you saying it'll take 1.3 seconds to read "Cool Story Bro"?

Are you reading tghis out loud to a group a preschoolers? If so..you better be sending a large check. Teachers get paid well...much more than Forum Alts.Neutral


I included approximately .4 seconds to scroll to and past the post, and .3 seconds glancing at the poster name/portrait. Which left about .3 seconds to read the statement, and .3 seconds to decide to angrily whine about using internet slang. Because, they would never, ever be so gauche as to use slang in any way shape or form. No sir.

Jenne Levour
Posted - 2009.10.25 16:03:00 - [23]
 

Originally by: Stupid McStupidson
Originally by: Jenne Levour
Originally by: Stupid McStupidson
Cool story bro


I've always wondered, do you feel witty using the fotm meme? Do you actually roam the forums just to find a half suitable place to post it so you'll look "in"?

Sorry for picking out your post out of all the lemmings, it just kinda was the last cool story for the day and it broke my limiter for curiosity.


It's quite simple really, and made much less simpler now that I have to explain it to the dense mass that replaced your brain. Rather than a rave about being an obvious troll, or a rave about being so stupid to fall for goonie's tricks, or even a dismissive swipe at posting something that I consider inane, or pointless...I posted the comment "Cool story bro" which says ALL those things at once. It's clear, simple and concise. If you leave a forwarding address, I will send you a check for the 1.3 seconds of your life I stole from you when reading my comment. And in summery: umad?


Cool story bro.

Msgerbs
Gallente
Imperial Assualt Guild
Posted - 2009.10.25 16:03:00 - [24]
 

Originally by: Stupid McStupidson
Originally by: Alt Tabbed
Wait....are you saying it'll take 1.3 seconds to read "Cool Story Bro"?

Are you reading tghis out loud to a group a preschoolers? If so..you better be sending a large check. Teachers get paid well...much more than Forum Alts.Neutral


I included approximately .4 seconds to scroll to and past the post, and .3 seconds glancing at the poster name/portrait. Which left about .3 seconds to read the statement, and .3 seconds to decide to angrily whine about using internet slang. Because, they would never, ever be so gauche as to use slang in any way shape or form. No sir.
You forgot the extra 0.1 second of page loading due to your post.

You also forgot the reply, and reading your replies and replying to them and loading the page.

And... oh crap I just added to the wasted time! Naughty me! NAUGHTY! Excuse me while I go bang my head on a wall until I realize it's not so naughty after all.

Stupid McStupidson
Gallente
Hoek Lyne and Sinker
Posted - 2009.10.25 16:27:00 - [25]
 

Originally by: Jenne Levour
Originally by: Stupid McStupidson
Originally by: Jenne Levour
Originally by: Stupid McStupidson
Cool story bro


I've always wondered, do you feel witty using the fotm meme? Do you actually roam the forums just to find a half suitable place to post it so you'll look "in"?

Sorry for picking out your post out of all the lemmings, it just kinda was the last cool story for the day and it broke my limiter for curiosity.


It's quite simple really, and made much less simpler now that I have to explain it to the dense mass that replaced your brain. Rather than a rave about being an obvious troll, or a rave about being so stupid to fall for goonie's tricks, or even a dismissive swipe at posting something that I consider inane, or pointless...I posted the comment "Cool story bro" which says ALL those things at once. It's clear, simple and concise. If you leave a forwarding address, I will send you a check for the 1.3 seconds of your life I stole from you when reading my comment. And in summery: umad?


Cool story bro.



Well played, sir.

Barakkus
Posted - 2009.10.25 18:57:00 - [26]
 


Bhaumut
Posted - 2009.10.25 19:24:00 - [27]
 

fail goon thread is epic fail

Why could they not just have blown up/ imploded when BoB did.. they were the counter point and "anti-alliance" we all needed to knock BoB on their ass... but then like mold in some recease they grew unchallenged..

In another way i hope they do not disband at all, im somewhat of a eco-eve player, and belive all the trash should be kept in one place.. it would be to hard to track all the wanabe(es).

Ahh but i suppose they suit their purpose, they can make us laugh at their follies, /facepalm at their blobs.. and they also do a damn good job of recycling... everything from their posting, youtube vids, and even presentations at fanfest...

I also watch Kartoons with my kid ... because they make me laugh.

Oh and to those who are openly aggresing goon space... i know it hard to swallow.. but remember this "The enemy of my enemy is my friend"

TL;DR To the Op - yes either your a goon alt... or the new goon alter boy.. gratz

Securitas Protector
The Concordiat
Concordiat Alliance
Posted - 2009.10.25 21:21:00 - [28]
 

If I'm not mistaken, only GoonFLEET has that requirement, try applying to one of the other myriad GoonSwarm corporations.

-sec

Cyprus Black
Caldari
Perkone
Posted - 2009.10.25 21:57:00 - [29]
 

What would be really epic is if the OP actually got in, then said "Yay I'm in Goons and I can put in a good word for you too... for 500 mil"

Lady Karma
Posted - 2009.10.25 23:22:00 - [30]
 

Originally by: Bhaumut


I also watch Kartoons with my kid ... because they make me laugh.




I prescribe watching a few more, you sound very bitter.


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