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CCP Fallout

Posted - 2009.07.13 15:28:00 - [1]
 

Sometimes, the discoveries you try to embrace and secrets you to try to silence turn out to have lives of their own. Read all about it in CCP Dropbear's latest Chronicle, "The Vitrauze Project."

Abrazzar
Posted - 2009.07.13 16:05:00 - [2]
 

Bah. And here I thought we'd get some answers.Sad

Screw those secrets, I want to know more!!

Very Happy

Imhothar Xarodit
Minmatar
Wolverine Solutions
Posted - 2009.07.13 16:16:00 - [3]
 

Quote:
ERROR: CHRONICLE '13-07-09' NOT FOUND


Ohhhh the drama... the excitement...

Sidrat Flush
Caldari
Eve Industrial Corp
Posted - 2009.07.13 16:40:00 - [4]
 

I've just read the story.

What! Maybe it's a grower.

Still keep em coming, because I'll miss them otherwise.

Kernel Flux
Intaki Armaments
Posted - 2009.07.13 18:22:00 - [5]
 

I am a long-time chronicle fan, and eagerly anticipate each new one. This one left me flat though. It was, in my opinion, very cryptic. As the previous poster indicated - i'd like some answers too! Too many questions and hanging threads. Keep them coming though!


Vampyr3
Posted - 2009.07.13 18:48:00 - [6]
 

Yeah... I read it, and now i feel kinda lost...

Jonathan Mcarthur
Caldari
Stargazer Exploration Company
Sundiver Technology Diversified
Posted - 2009.07.13 20:28:00 - [7]
 

Edited by: Jonathan Mcarthur on 13/07/2009 20:30:44
A very nice chronicle all over, it takes a gentle touch to decypher the information but it's a very good romantic story.

***Spoilers****
Personal Summary





Here's my summary: Lianda (CD-Vitrauze) was given permission by Creodron to explore the other side of the wormholes and explore the wonders inside. Because of Federation's opposition to any exploration of the unknown, they tasked black eagle units to arrest and secure all info and material from Wormhole space. But while this was going on, Applied Science a Caldari educational and research institute was watching them the whole time, and taking the science that Creodron discovered and applying it to Caldari's research purposes.

The love story between Lianda and Hilen's is what I can guess of a inter-racial relationship that because of the war and racism ended in a flat line. My guess is that both are scientists, and that while Lianda kept going back to him in her thoughts while she exploring this new world, Hilen was right there in buzzard gathering info from her.

That's my opinion of the story, but a good non classical romance story.

ceaon
Posted - 2009.07.13 21:33:00 - [8]
 

good read Very Happy

Zanon Ar'Dhaos
Caldari
Inverted Worlds
Posted - 2009.07.13 22:26:00 - [9]
 

Better then some of the previous ones, but still meh. Didn't explain much, didn't expand characters, didn't go anywhere, just wasn't interesting sorry. Additionally, there was weirdness like this:
Quote:
whose name in turn was supposedly taken from one of the first settlers to come through the EVE Gate

Um, what? While we know about the true history of the EVE universe, according to previous Chronicles that knowledge has been generally long, long since lost in-universe. Wasn't that what all that SoE stuff about the Gate being mystical and such was about? According to the Timeline, from the time of the EVE Gate collapse to the relaunch of space flight was over 13,000 years, and even then it was another 1500 years or so before warp drive was rediscovered (never mind that this is strangely slow, whatever). There are plenty of inconsistencies and oddities in EVE's backstory, but even so I don't think references to the EVE Gate and Terra would be common off hand things in the empires.

Mort Eveson
Gallente
Intaki Liberation Front
Intaki Prosperity Initiative
Posted - 2009.07.13 23:06:00 - [10]
 

Originally by: Zanon Ar'Dhaos


Quote:
whose name in turn was supposedly taken from one of the first settlers to come through the EVE Gate



I took this is the same way people would say named after the founders of Rome, or a character in the Iliad, as being semi mythical, maybe based on someone real. We know of kings from 4000 years ago from things they left behind, surely its possible that they found the name of an early settler, I can imagine one of the first settlers putting something up to remember the day. Hell, he could have carved his name in a mountain range with a pulse cannon :-p.

Work with the chronicles rather than complaining :-)

Mort

Faraelle Brightman
Gallente
Eleutherian Guard
Posted - 2009.07.13 23:47:00 - [11]
 

Originally by: Zanon Ar'Dhaos
Better then some of the previous ones, but still meh. Didn't explain much, didn't expand characters, didn't go anywhere, just wasn't interesting sorry. Additionally, there was weirdness like this:
Quote:
whose name in turn was supposedly taken from one of the first settlers to come through the EVE Gate

Um, what? While we know about the true history of the EVE universe, according to previous Chronicles that knowledge has been generally long, long since lost in-universe. Wasn't that what all that SoE stuff about the Gate being mystical and such was about? According to the Timeline, from the time of the EVE Gate collapse to the relaunch of space flight was over 13,000 years, and even then it was another 1500 years or so before warp drive was rediscovered (never mind that this is strangely slow, whatever). There are plenty of inconsistencies and oddities in EVE's backstory, but even so I don't think references to the EVE Gate and Terra would be common off hand things in the empires.


The explaination is archeology. One people returned to space, a scholar can look at the pieces, see that they progress roughly from the direction of the Eve gate and come up with the theory. However the most definate statement they can make is "We're pretty sure people probably came through the Eve gate to settle the cluster", they can't say anything definate about what's on the other side of the gate. However, the different fiction writers are not always consistant about just how much is suspected about the mythical "Terra".

Anubis Assassin
Caldari
SandStorm.
The Babylon Consortium
Posted - 2009.07.14 01:48:00 - [12]
 

Originally by: Imhothar Xarodit
Quote:
ERROR: CHRONICLE '13-07-09' NOT FOUND


Ohhhh the drama... the excitement...


This... for like that past 4 hours.

Trabber Shir
Caldari
5I Incorporated
Posted - 2009.07.14 07:51:00 - [13]
 

Originally by: Jonathan Mcarthur
Edited by: Jonathan Mcarthur on 13/07/2009 20:30:44Lianda (CD-Vitrauze) was given permission by Creodron to explore the other side of the wormholes and explore the wonders inside.


I think you have the call signs confused. Lianda was on the CreoDron Helios with call sign CD-73. CD-Vitrauze was the call sign for the CreoDron station/command in the Vitrauze system that she was working with.

Coupe Soleil
Hitchhikers Inc.
Posted - 2009.07.14 11:34:00 - [14]
 

Hmmm this one is way too cryptic for my taste.

*Coupe goes off to read it again to try and make sense of it

Katrina Bekers
Gallente
Fighters Squadron
Posted - 2009.07.14 11:38:00 - [15]
 

Usually I like some subtlety in Chronicles: being told everything and not letting me fill the gaps is a poor narrative practice...

...But not to the point of being unable to tell who is talking with whom about what!

Which is the exact "meh" feeling I had while reading (twice) this Chronicle. Nice passages, evocative touches, a backstory that could twist and turn into interesting revelations anytime, but overall confused and excessively cryptic.

Not to mention the "Lost syndrome": trying to answer one question by spawning two more in its stead, ultimately giving the weird feeling that the author is not yet decided what to tell you next, having just a vague idea of the general plot, but inventing the (often conflicting) details as the story unfolds...

Nice work, but a bit... Well... Confusing.

Photon Ceray
Posted - 2009.07.14 13:38:00 - [16]
 

Eve chronicles always had some style to them, that style was clearly different and purposful, but that was long time ago!

the last few chronicles I read were just replication attempts (not very successful) and without purpose!

If the reader has to read your story 3-4 times to understand it then you have done a horrible job.
writing the story from end to beginning got boring and confusing, writing in very small chapters (of flashes of story) too many times will waste the readers time picking up the line every time, especially that we're no longer sure if the story is written start > end or the other way around, so we have to keep trying to figure out which structure the story is written.
these are unproductive, boring and don't reach the goal of entertaining.
of course some people have no other purpose than figuring out the structure, but the majority of people (including me, except this time) won't bother writing feedback.


tips for improvment:

- keep the eve style but don't try too hard, it's unproductive
- try to not copy/paste styles too much, it's uncreative and boring.
- have a clear structure!
- most importantly, make sure your story has a PURPOSE!
- add some variation, when was the last time we had a short story or a series?
- stop glorrifying gallente for god's sake! there are always these subtle hints that the gallente way of life is the most interesting, meaningful, worthy one; not only it gets annoying, but it's very short sighted!
- add some variation, how about some minmatar chronicles? the majority seem to be about gallente or caldari, quite few amarr and very few minmatar ones.

I hope the future chronicles will be better, something closer to the level of "end of the world" series.

Miroven
Caldari
Ardent Horizon
Posted - 2009.07.14 13:56:00 - [17]
 

Edited by: Miroven on 14/07/2009 13:58:25
so.... "stable" wormholes, eh?

leo bendherover
Posted - 2009.07.14 14:53:00 - [18]
 

This is no secret to me ive lived in these systems and found out a few interesting things not profitable to tell tho.

:-)

Evanda Char
Minmatar
Re-Awakened Technologies Inc
Electus Matari
Posted - 2009.07.14 15:21:00 - [19]
 

Edited by: Evanda Char on 14/07/2009 15:25:58
Holy...!

Amazing work, Dropbear.

For those who say it's cryptic, well, sort of. But I've been chasing the story of wormholes and the evidence that's actually right there in game, and this ties in beautifully. But it's kind enough to not just lay it all flat on the table and spoil the fun for those trying to work it out themselves.

Actually, it kind of steps on a paper I was going to be presenting IC this weekend Very Happy

It's breathtaking, powerful and I think really captures the sense of the alien that would come in dealing with such transitions.

MOAR!

Edit: I just read it again and (yes, I am a big nerd and far too into my RP) there are actually tears in my eyes, because the whole exquisitely-developed wormnhole content and chronicles like this one put player involvement and especially, the sheer joy of players trying to work out and anticipate what is going on before it's given to us, back in the game. It's touchable, it's investigatable, it can infest and inform a player's RP without giving out freebies or anything material; it's everything I loved about what I thought the story was pre- the end of Aurora and the Empyrean Age.

Dropbear, marry me Very Happy

Trebeck Connery
Posted - 2009.07.14 17:34:00 - [20]
 

Yay for yet another cryptic, obscure chronicle? I have to say I like the ones that a) contain interesting information, or b) tell a story in a cogent manner, like "End of the World" and "Black Mountain"

Kenpachi Viktor
Gradient
Electus Matari
Posted - 2009.07.15 10:07:00 - [21]
 

Originally by: Evanda Char

Dropbear, marry me Very Happy


Laughing

Tal Nok
Amarr
Fusion Enterprises Ltd
Morsus Mihi
Posted - 2009.07.15 16:13:00 - [22]
 

Oh the good ole days of blowing people up in Vitrauze.

Nevenda'ar
Posted - 2009.07.15 17:28:00 - [23]
 

I must still be feeling the effects of yesterdays drinks, because I have no idea wtf I just read, I didnt understand a word of that stuff...Neutral

Seishi Maru
doMAL S.A.
Posted - 2009.07.15 20:24:00 - [24]
 

Also disliked. Too hard to understand. Again CCP forgets that too complex forms of writing are hard when your public is 2/3 non native english speaker (even when you are fluent its harder to grasp such text formats when you are not readign your native language).

Keep it SIMPLE! This one added absolutely NOTHING into my mind and I have read it 3 times.

Mephiston Lucius
Minmatar
Crimson Angels
Posted - 2009.07.15 20:55:00 - [25]
 

i knew few stories in Eve-Fiction ten times better than this.. its short its giving nothing only black eagles and their black megas.. thats it ?.. and i was waiting some .. something better than this :/

CCP Dropbear

Posted - 2009.07.15 22:41:00 - [26]
 

It may not make sense at first.

Kenpachi Viktor
Gradient
Electus Matari
Posted - 2009.07.16 12:54:00 - [27]
 

Originally by: CCP Dropbear
It may not make sense at first.


or the fifth time... Sad

Synapse Archae
Amarr
Viziam
Posted - 2009.07.16 18:18:00 - [28]
 

Also didn't really like it. I would put it somewhere in the lower half of Chronicles.

Mostly I think it needed more meat, but for the future if you need to give very little information do it by writing your story about side characters and filling it with daily life details (some guy onboard the black eagles ships, or some curious miner who sees this happening and gets commentary from a contact of his in the navy, for example)

Making your main character the core of the event means that you were forced to make the story hard to read in order to remain cryptic, and thats kind of a non-starter. Again if you want to be sparse on details write it from the perspective of someone who would have very few details!

Rather than painting a picture, this story made it difficult to piece together any coherent image at all, and that makes it no fun to read.

More detail in the future please!

Jacob Lighter1st
Caldari
School of Applied Knowledge
Posted - 2009.07.16 18:41:00 - [29]
 

I'm not even sure what happened. I think a group of scientists got arrested so one person could go through a worm hole (a feat that's been happening for a while now) but I can't be sure.

mattig89ch1
Caldari
RipStar.
Posted - 2009.07.16 18:42:00 - [30]
 

Originally by: Jacob Lighter1st
I'm not even sure what happened. I think a group of scientists got arrested so one person could go through a worm hole (a feat that's been happening for a while now) but I can't be sure.


woopsie, wrong character.


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